Cover Image: Find Your People

Find Your People

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This book is superbly written! Jenni Allen has such a way with expressing her heart and teaching God's word. Find Your People is a must read for everyone. It is so true that we all need people...even if we think we don't. This book will help you discover the way God truly made us to be and how He intended us to live...in community with each other, with Himself at the center of it all. Thank you so much for your discipleship Jennie!
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Practical advice and pointers to building healthy relationships. The author shares her struggles of finding and maintaining friends. She is very honest and open about her life. An encouraging book for lonely people.
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“We weren’t just built for community; we were built because of it.”

Full disclaimer: everything Jennie writes, I fall in love with. Jennie has a way of breaking down scripture, history, and neuroscience in a way to show us the importance of Christian living - and this book is no exception. 

Finding my people has been easy some days and extremely hard others. Expectations can be differing. Life stages play a massive role in my struggles, but Jennie reassured me that this is worth fighting for and this is deeply important. 

I cried, I laughed, and I’m definitely going to read again. 

So here’s to finding my people! 

*advance copy provided for an honest review
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This book is amazing! Jennie Allen really spoke to so many things on my heart. She spills out some amazing truths some of which might be hard to hear, but it’s so important because at the end of the day having a community is such a gift and it’s so needed. As you read through the pages she guides you through not only why your community is important but how to build it. I learned and highlighted so much from this book. It’s a must read! Adding some of my favorite quotes from the book below! 

“It means that He created us out of relationship for relationship—and not a relationship that is surface level or self-seeking. No, the relationship He has in mind for us is sacrificial, intimate, moment-by-moment connection.”

“Choose friends who have the potential to make you better. Then allow them to do just that.”

“No one can be your everything, but everyone has something to say, something to teach you, and something to bring to your life.”
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I’m a huge Jennie Allen fan. In my opinion, she’s the real deal in Christian speakers, authors and podcasters. I always appreciate her scripture driven testimony and wise counsel. That being said, Find Your People, Ms. Allen’s latest book, is a plethora of rock-solid advice on finding your village of people who will be by your side and enrich your life at every turn. Ms. Allen breaks apart friendship by examining it on many levels-biblically, historically and basically.  This is a book that will help women maneuver through the lonely years, while helping guide them to a life richly blessed by others.
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Considering the fact that one of the things I want to focus on this year is finding solid friendships in my current town, I knew I had to pick up this book. Find Your People not only tells some of Jennie Allen's personal story of finding and losing friendships, it gives practical steps to complete to find your people. A book that you can go back to over and over when friendships get hard. I highly recommend.

I received an eARC of this book from the publisher via NetGalley. All opinions expressed in this review are my own.
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Jennie Allen is the founder of If:Gathering. If:Gathering is a women’s ministry that creates materials for Bible study and hosts conferences for the purpose of discipleship. 

Jennie’s newest book, Find Your People, is about friendship. I wasn’t expecting a book on friendship to be very interesting, full of wisdom, or practical in its advice, but I was wrong. This book is all of the above. The foundation for the importance of relationships is found in the triune God: “Scripture says that the Son exists to glorify the Father, and that the Father exist to glorify the Son. It says that the Spirit exists to glorify them both. What that means is that they help each other, they promote each other, they serve each other, and they love each other.”

There were five realities Jennie shared as goals for healthy relationships from the garden of Eden account of Adam and Eve. Proximity. They enjoyed physical closeness to each other and God. Transparency. They were naked and unashamed, fully known and fully loved. Accountability. They lived under submission to God and to each other. Shared purpose. They were given a clear calling to care for creation. Consistency. They needed each other and shared everything together.”

Jennie lists many practical ideas to get you jump started in building new friendships. The ideas run the gamut from borrowing something rather than buying it to sitting out in front of your home and talking with people who walk by.  

Relationships are formed by two imperfect people. Inevitably, you will be hurt by others. An important guideline to remember in relationships is: “Learn to see disappointments in relationships as reminders that God is enough for me.” The best relationships are mutually beneficial. It’s easy to spout advice when our friends are in need, but we mustn’t forget, “We don’t counsel each other with human wisdom. We point to the Word of God.” Having God at the center invariably increases the strength of the bond. 

Be aware of and identify hinderances to relationships. This requires honest self reflection. One common roadblock to good relationships is complaining. “Complaining is usually centered on others rather than acknowledging our own role in the situation. Vulnerability, in comparison, requires humility and an eagerness to grow. Being truly (and appropriately) vulnerable begins with a heart that desires change, a heart that wants to break the bondage of a negative thought pattern and instead seek and walk in truth. Complaining seeks relief. Vulnerability seeks transformation and connection.” 

If you find it difficult to make new friends or struggle to maintain the ones you’ve got, be willing to get quiet and ask God to show you if you might be the cause of your struggles. It’s important to analyze why you behave in certain ways and watch carefully for tendencies to control relationships. It’s also important to ask for honest input from your closest of friends so that you are growing, learning and changing for the better. 

This book definitely exceeded my expectations. It was much more engaging than I anticipated. You will be blessed to read it. We all have felt the loneliness of the past three years of Covid distancing. Now is a great time to invest in friendships.

I received an arc copy from Netgalley and the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
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Jennie Allen's newest book Find Your People is a gift for us to read after coming out of isolation from the pandemic.  Jennie is honest and vulnerable as she shares personal experiences as well as academic research and Scripture to show the importance of building a community of people that you can rely on and that can rely on you.  She shared 5 goals that we need to build into our lives:  proximity, transparency, accountability, purpose, and consistency.  It gives practical action steps as well as barriers to obtaining these relationships.  Jennie is an inspiration and I feel encouraged to build intentional friendships in my life.
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I was honestly a little surprised by how much I liked this book. I am a fan of Jennie Allen, but I think speaking is really where she shines. Then, as a topic, Christian friendship can be written about in some very surface-y ways, and even some abstract ways that make it hard to really know what to take away. This book was thankfully NOT another example of a Christian taking friendships in the Bible (David and Jonathan, Paul and Barnabas) and trying to teach us lessons from the few verses we have about those relationships.

Instead, Jennie wrote very practically, very humbly, and very authentically about friendships in her own life. She pulled in some research about the ways our Western, individualized culture strays from the concept of village and community life. Her outline and five concepts are easy to follow, and you can tell she has lived them (and gotten them both right and wrong). The end of each chapter had great action steps that challenged me to think more deeply and pray through relationships in my own life.
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Find your people is honest, down to earth, and yet challenging. Jennie Allen opens up and shares her personal experiences and vulnerability which allows the reader to connect with her. She gives very practical challenges on how to build community, great arguments for why it's important, and even addresses excuses for not doing it. Overall a great read!
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Find Your People offers personal stories, practical steps the reader can take to make or deepen friendships (while they're all pretty much no-brainers, it can still be helpful to see written out as reminders), and discusses the importance of proximity, transparency, accountability, purpose, and consistency within friendship. It's nothing new, nothing we haven't heard before about friendship (we all know consistency matters, for example)... but still helpful. I appreciated Allen's stories and personal examples the most, but do find it interesting that she writes several times of how she has not been/is not a good friend... and when looking at what she posts online, there are very few pictures/posts with friends. It's also disturbing that when writing about moving, she talks about it as if they picked up and ran, choosing to start over because they were so lonely where they had been living for over a decade. Why not find your people where you already are? Why do you have to move hours away to be lonely elsewhere before finding your people, if you're telling the reader to start where she is? While readers will likely appreciate that she isn't painting herself as an expert at friendship, you also want to be able to trust the author knows a little of what they're telling you to go out and do yourself.
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Find Your People
By Jennie Allen
Love this book!  Finding community is so important for all of us. (Especially after the last couple years of being home more) Jennie dives in and gets to the heart of stepping out of your comfort zone and being community for others as you make your own.
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Jennie Allen has done it again!  Another home run for those of us looking to find community.  Her writing style makes you want to pull up a chair and have coffee with her.  She so eloquently puts in to words how to find your tribe and the reason we all need and thrive on community.  Highly recommend for all ages and anyone going through struggles of making friends and establishing community as adults.  Cannot wait for her to release another book.
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In find your people, Jennie Allen gives some helpful tips on how to make more friends as an adult. A question we're all asking well this book answers that question with truths from the word as well.
I loved reading this book and would recommend this to anyone looking or asking the same question of How do i make friends. This book is for you
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Jennie Allen is one of the few voices I allow into my life (her books, podcast, Instagram, etc…). Her newest book Find Your People did not disappoint. And what perfect timing for us to read this coming out of isolation from the pandemic. We need each other! I loved this because it wasn’t just a light-hearted read about how to make friends by being a good friend. It was convicting in all the right ways. Jennie (honest and vulnerable, as always) shares 5 goals that we can intentionally build into our lives: proximity, transparency, accountability, purpose, and consistency. Part 2 breaks each of these down in more detail, pointing out barriers and giving practical action steps. After reading this, I know what I am looking for in friendships, and I know what I need to change in order to be the friend someone else needs. I am inspired to build deeper friendships with a handful of women in my life but also better relationships overall. “Friends won’t fall from the sky. Friends are always made.” What a gift this book is!
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I received a complimentary copy from WaterBrook & Multnomah. All opinions expressed are entirely my own

If you have ever wanted to build meaningful connections with people around you then you need to grab this book and read it . In this book Jeannie shares the importance of building a community of people that you can rely on, a group of people that will bring you a hot meal when you are not well and you can be vulnerable with. Not only did she share importance of this but she shares from her own experiences as well as from Scripture. I loved how it was written and if you would like to build your own community get this book. I enjoyed this read so much and was highlighting like a crazy person.

 I
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Community is something that has suffered greatly since technology has enabled us to be increasingly independent from one another. We no longer need to run next door to borrow an egg, or come together to build a barn, or even share exciting news directly with people. We just order a grocery delivery, hire a contractor, and post our news on Instagram. The unfortunate part of this, though, is that we are losing these opportunities to do life with the people around us, resulting in at least part of the 36% of Americans who report feeling lonely on a regular basis.

It is this type of community that Jennie is trying to reconstruct with this book. The type that feels comfortable relying on one another, even for the hard things. The type that can be vulnerable and real with each other, knowing that they will be loved despite their flaws. The type that will laugh and cry and run errands together. And the best part is that she launches this quest for community by being real and vulnerable with us as readers.

Jennie combines academic research, personal experiences, and Scripture to build the case for why we need to fight for community, and then offers a number of practical tips and action steps at the end of each chapter so that we are not just left with these beautiful but abstract ideas. She both encourages and equips readers to pursue biblical community, challenging us to break the mold of independence that is so prevalent in our culture.

Overall, I loved this book. Jennie does an amazing job of sympathizing with her readers and creating a culture of grace while still pushing us outside of our comfort zones and sharpening us "as iron sharpens iron."
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FIND YOUR PEOPLE by Jennie Allen , publish date February 2022.       We are not designed to be alone. When you are born you begin looking for who is looking for you. God even is the holy trinity the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit. Jesus gave us our example God in the center. The village- the ones we work with and worship with.  The neighborhood-the apostles, friends, and families.  The circle- the four or five friends who give you what you need for life  ,a mirror, a laugh, a reality check.    This book is so great with so many great tips and practices . You will love it as much as her past book- GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD.  Go now preorder this book, if it’s not out yet.  Read this book.  Get your circle, your neighborhood, your village and start a book club.  Start a small group at your church and do this book.  Don’t isolate yourself! You need people
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I thought the topic of this book was interesting but also struggled to relate at times coming from a place where I live in an area where there are very few people my age and very rural. I’ve shifted to developing and maintaining long-distance friendships because they are more successful than local.
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This is a very biblical book on how to cultivate deep friendships. Allen writes a lot about her personal experiences with friendships and things she's done wrong as a friend. It is sometimes surprising how often she writes about things like friends telling her they didn't want to be friends with her anymore. She is a minister so there's a heavy focus on how Jesus lived, scripture, praying for people, and how the enemy doesn't want us to have friends. She also talks a lot about the Christian organization that she founded.

Key takeaways -- It takes a lot of time to develop deep friendships so invest in trying to build up many hours of time with people. Be vulnerable and honest. Have tough, unpleasant conversations. Most important to Allen is that you seek out friendships where you spend a lot of time so you see those people all the time. She says it doesn't matter if you're not close in age or share a lot of things in common but you need to have relationships where you can be in each other's lives and do things like drop by unannounced. She also advocates telling your friends everything and asking things of them.

I have such a different lifestyle than Allen, who leads church groups and has a large social circle. Most of the book was not very helpful for me personally, but I will make an effort to look for more possible friends among people close by and to put in the 150 hours or whatever she said you needed to move towards close friendships with more people. All in all, I could have gotten that from a few sentences though instead of reading the whole book. Others will find it much more useful, I'm sure.

I read a digital ARC of this book via Net Galley.
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