Fred, An Unbecoming woman, I was not sure what to expect with this book when I picked it up, but it is a story about a person recounting childhood experiences as she traces all incidences of their queerness, how hard it was to come out and all the awkward teenage experiences they had to encounter.

i have ever so many quotes from this book! right from the start to the end i found ever so many of them! i adored the writing AND the writing VOICE! this book was infused with humour throughout, being emotional when it needed to be.
"But to dismantle the closet is to call into question the structural integrity of the house in which that closet sits, not as an act of revenge but as an act of shared healing."
annie krabbenschmidt (did not know her before) writes exquisitely about girlhood in this world, about sexuality (particularly lesbianism and comphet) and how that flows together and apart with gender and gender identity. she writes about the relationships around her, from the romantic ones, to friendships and her family, including the realization that maybe you and your mother could actually be best friends only if you weren't in that pre-destined relationship from the start.
this book is about her ✨journey✨ to find herself and along the way i saw echoes of my thoughts, over and over. but of course, in some way or another, all queer experience will reflect one another in some way. i'm deeply grateful to have come across this book when i did. i wish you all the same happiness!
"What straights don't realize is that queer people (and very cool people like Fred) make it possible for everyone to break the rules. They show us that happiness is worth the fear and the fight[...]".

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review. I voluntarily read and reviewed it. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Thanks to netgalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Fred is a memoir about coming out, again and again, set against the backdrop of Annie Krabbenschmidt's privileged upbringing in Marin County. Krabbenschmidt talks about expectations, her own and that of her environment, about what is acceptable from her, from women in general. A lot of queer women (and others in the LGBTQ+ sphere) will connect with Krabbenschmidt's story and the idea that you never stop coming out, it's a continuous process.

This was a relatively straightforward memoir, her coming of age/coming out story, how her friends supported her, etc yet I wanted Krabbenschmidt to take a macro view as well and reflect more critically on how society treats lesbians/queer people, the role her upper middle class upbringing played, and and so on. In the end, the only thing I really took from this book is just that if you're queer, you never stop coming out, it's a constant in your life.

Powerful Memoir

What a powerful story of life, love, and living as ones true self in Fred: An Unbecoming Woman by Annie Krabbenschmidt. This is the first book of this author's that I've read, and I find telling this personal story, was very empowering. It is not always easy, or ever easy to let the world know who you really are. As I was reading the book, being gay or homosexual were words used, but also "the thing" was an interesting concept, as it was related to coming out, and talking to others about it. As I was reading it, I was surprised that I was surprised by people's behavior. Many things stood out in this book, and here's a quote, that kind of sums up what I was thinking. "This book wasn’t really supposed to be about womanhood with a capital W. But to understand the challenge of defecting from my preordained social identity as a straight, cisgender woman, in order to live out my queerness, you need to know that I was constantly inundated with cautionary tales of women who have failed: what Manne might call “unbecoming women—traitors to the cause of gender—bad women, and ‘wayward’ ones.” It’s definitely un-put-downable! Masterfully written! Brilliant writing! Fred: An Unbecoming Woman is a definite recommendation by Amy's Bookshelf Reviews. I read this book to give my unbiased and honest review. Amy's Bookshelf Reviews recommends that anyone who reads this book, to also write a review.

Fred: An Unbecoming Woman is a memoir by Anne Krabbenschmidt detailing their experiences relating to queerness in youth and adulthood. To be entirely honest, I wanted to like this so much more than I actually did. I thought that there were some really strong quotes and moments but it really didn’t capture my attention as much as I hoped for. Thank you to NetGalley for the e-ARC!

"Fred" An Unbecoming Women" by Annie Krabbenschmidt is a collection of essays of Krabbenschmidt coming-of-age/coming age.

I really like the writing since I don't read many memoirs, I like the humour and how I could connect with the writing while reading.

I could relate to this book so much, at times I felt like I was reading my own thoughts. A good story of what it means to be queer and how we never stop having to come out.

Everyone has their own coming out journey and how you come out to yourself can be the most important. It’s important to know there is no “one way” to come out and this story shows that.

There was no climax to this story and was more like reading a journal but overall was enough to keep me entertained and at points laughing out loud.

In what is essentially a collection of introspective essays, Fred is Annie Krabbenschmidt’s coming-out/coming-of-age story, and it is filled with humour, heartbreak, candour, and thoughtfulness. I always say that I read (fiction and non-) to learn about the world and how others navigate it, and Krabbenschmidt’s story — overcoming an affluent and loving childhood that, perversely, traumatised and oppressed Krabbenschmidt with its strict gender expectations — represents the perfect union of a person with something to say and the writing skills to say it; I learned plenty. I appreciate what Krabbenschmidt shares about her life, appreciate what she has to say about society at large, and although her struggles were not my struggles, there’s something relatable and universal about this story of striving to make the painful transition to adulthood with authenticity and self-love. I’m glad I read this and wish the author much happiness and success.