A grandmothers once invisible life is revealed in this intimate story.
When Gayla Turner finds a wedding photograph of her grandmother Ruby from June, 1915, the groom standing beside her is not her grandfather but a woman. These hidden photographs of a very secretive time begins the authors journey to learn more about her grandmother and the other woman. With curiosity piqued, the author begins a seven year journey filled with extensive research as she unveils not only a love story but a look at society limitations and the impacts then and now.
This is an exploration of love and loss, memories and moments with photographs of names and faces that make for a heartfelt read.
Highly recommended with thanks to NetGalley, Gayla Turner and BookBaby for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

"In fact, we, the LGBTQ community, have always been here. We were required to lead invisible lives out of necessity. We loved who we loved in the background of society because it was too dangerous to do otherwise."

Having no idea beyond the summary, I didn't have any expectations one way or the other but I absolutely adored this book. In the authors own words, it is a mix of her grandmother's records, the historical records and some artistic licence to bring them all together. Ruby's story is heartbreaking in so many ways and important because of those same ways. You cannot help but think about the men and women hiding their true loves in history and those forced to continue to do so.
I loved the mix of Ruby's story and Gayla's about the research and experience in telling Ruby's story. It worked wonderfully to tie the timeline together and serves as a beautiful reminder of what those we love leave behind and its impact on us nowadays. This is a truly special book and I wholeheartedly recommend anyone, LGBTQIA+ or ally, to embrace the story.

“We are all simply who we are, and love is not a matter of choice”

Thank you Natgalley for this advanced copy of this book!

I absolutely enjoyed this little piece of nonfiction about finding love and the LGTBIAQ+ community. From the first page on I enjoyed the story thoroughly. It was very well written and I could emerge myself into the characters from the beginning. For me as a mood reader it is always complicated to find into a fresh book, but with this one it was no problem at all.
I only wish it would have been more pointed out the little fictional details to round up the story, but overall it was an amazing book I recommend everyone.

Thank you to NetGalley for an advanced copy of this title in exchange for an honest review.

I honestly LOVED this book - from the initial premise, I was hooked and it did not disappoint! The switch from the authors experience to her grandmothers life was something that really kept my attention. Ruby's story, though most of it likely reliant on fiction, was so raw to me. I appreciated the glimpse into how life would be like in those times for sapphic women. Additionally, the exploration of chums and how they had to continually transition from male to female presenting in order to obtain social ideals was really interesting.

The photos included throughout the book gave it another layer of realism, and it was gorgeous to be able to put faces to names of those throughout the story. Overall, I really enjoyed it and will certainly be recommending it to friends!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an advanced copy of this title in exchange for an honest review.
I had a difficult time with this, I wanted to love this book, I was invested just from the blurb and this is right up my alley but the fictionalized account of the author's grandmother didn't work for me. I found the author's voice when she was writing her own accounts fascinating and I breezed through the first few chapters very engaged. But once it switched to the fictionalized account the tone and style changed in a way that didn't work for me. There were parts that felt very look at all the research I did without having any real tie to the overall narrative. I really enjoyed the overall story and learning about a historical LGBTQ+ community, but it really dragged at parts.
All that said, I am glad I read it, I learned a lot and there were some very striking and thought-provoking passages.

Three and a half stars.
This was fine. I was mildly engaged for most of the book, but grew tired of the story near the end. Some parts seemed to drag on for too long, and yet were still skimping on detail. I found it weird how the author took so much artistic liberty with her grandmother's life, and yet the book would have been incredibly dry without it. The switch between fictionalized flashbacks and the author's experiences visiting the town didn't work for me, and it might have been better to stick to one or the other. Then there was the end... obviously the author couldn't have written a happy ending for her grandmother and her lover, but it seemed pointless and kind of cheesy to end with the 2015 Supreme Court ruling. It seemed like the book was pretending to be about more than it was: speaking to the entire LGBTQ experience, rather than speaking to the experience of two queer women.
The strengths of the book? I mostly liked the premise, because I do enjoy getting to see through a historical perspective. Ruby was written as an interesting character. The author's passion on the topic is evident throughout, even if it wasn't particularly infectious.

“We are all simply who we are, and love is not a matter of choice”

“Let me tell you, the life we lead is not an easy one. There are many dangers in the world for us - it’s dangerous if other people find out, because of what they might do to us. Some will want to hurt us or put us into mental institutions. Some want to get rid of us altogether. Others will try to “cure” us by forcing us into marriage, thinking that all we need is a “good man”. Let me assure you, sweet lady, there is no cure for what ails us, because we are not ill.”

Okay first and foremost: this cover is beautiful! Before I even read the synopsis I knew it was going to be a great book because of the vintage Hollywood regency vibe the cover put off.

This book was both beautiful and heartbreaking. I love how it was very much a recollection of true events but that it also was beautiful storytelling. A great recollection of being LGBTQ+ in the early 1900’s and the challenges faced. I highly recommend it!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an advanced copy of this title in exchange for an honest review.

In Don’t You Dare, author Gayla Turner discovers that her grandmother had a secret life that she knew nothing about— a love story with a mystery woman. Turner’s narrative alternates between her efforts in the present to uncover the truth of her grandmother’s past and historical reconstructions of what her grandmother Ruby’s life might have been like as a woman who loved women in 1910s Wisconsin. Turner weaves an engaging family history and sheds light on historical subjects whose stories are not often told. 3.75 stars.

A very intriguing and enjoyable book! I loved the format of the book, and it was very fascinating to see her learn about her family history.

I really enjoyed this book and her look into her family history. Since there was no preface in the ARC I was a little unclear at times how much of it was fictionalized or how much she had found written accounts detailing events.

My favorite quote I highlighted was:
“Of course my inquisitive, well-meaning heterosexual friends would inevitably ask ‘when did you know you were gay?” I tried putting things in perspective by asking them, ‘When did you know you were straight?”

An Interesting historical account, it’s always a win when queer history has managed to be preserved and rediscovered. The writing however read more like a social media post than a nonfiction/memoir.

Living history about a relative. A picture spurs the authors quest to find out more about her grandmother and the life that she lived. I found the story extremely fascinating. They say through understanding the past we can understand ourselves and I think that’s true in this novel. I loved this book!