I was fascinated by this book when I first found out about it. It’s a simple concept – a young woman who is suffering from a non-specific, pervasive malaise seeks help from a therapist and records her sessions. She starts off uncertain about many things – why she feels how she does, how others see her, whether there’s anything wrong with her, and if so, what? Does her lack of ability to summon positive emotion and connect deeply with friends and partners enough to count as depression? Should she even be there? We follow her therapy journey as she begins to unravel the tangled emotions and issues she’s experiencing, and learns about her own role in creating the situations she’s struggling with.

The first part of the book is a series of transcripts of Baek Se-Hee’s therapy sessions, without outside commentary or context. What we know is what she shares in her therapy sessions, and what we know about her decisions and their consequences is told through the same lens. There are both pros and cons to this approach. It’s very interesting to know only what is shared with the therapist and to have to try to interpret what is really happening. Is she sharing the whole story? Are her reactions genuine? Will she follow through after the sessions? We don’t know the answers to these questions for sure, and are left some room for interpretation. But it can also be a bit frustrating to read – because there’s no internal narrative, sometimes the prose feels a bit stiff or abrupt. I also found myself wishing for a bit more depth to some of the topics that were discussed – I wanted to know how Se-Hee actually felt, not just what she said out loud. There are a couple of sections at the end of the book – an epilogue in which the author shares some of her more personal reflections on where she is now, what she’s still struggling with, and what has helped. We also hear from her therapist, who discusses the way the book has impacted her and how she felt about having her professional life put out in public.

I think this is an important book, particularly for young women in a culture like this one (from what very, very little I know) that can place unique pressures on young women and girls. I can see many readers identifying with the conflicts and emotions Se-Hee describes, particularly her difficulty in expressing her genuine feelings to those around her and her need to be seen as successful and likeable. I also loved that it addresses a less dramatic version of depression than is often seen, and shares clinical terms and explanations for some of her symptoms. I think this could help many readers who perhaps didn’t realize that some of the things they’re struggling with in their lives are perhaps due to a similar kind of low-grade depression, and that it’s not their fault and they can ask for help dealing with it. Any book that shines light into the hidden corners of mental health issues and treatment will always be something I support.

This book had so much going for it, but I did find myself having some issues with it. I had trouble feeling emotionally connected to Se-Hee, I think in large part because of the lack of internal narrative and the reliance completely on these therapy transcripts right up until the end. It was very difficult for me to feel more than a sense of sympathy that she was struggling, but not a deep investment in her progress and improvement. I cared enough to keep reading, but wasn’t moved to tears, and I don’t think this voice is one that will stick with me. It also didn’t have the humour I expected from the title – I thought there’d be a bit of tongue-in-cheek or sarcastic references to the contradictions that can be found in depression, but there wasn’t really any of that here.

Some of this was also me. I’m in my 40s now. I’m through the part of my life where I was tied up with worrying how I looked, how others perceived me, whether my relationships were reciprocal, whether I’d said the wrong thing. I remember it, and it was excruciating at times, but it’s not my mental landscape anymore. That made it a bit hard to spend a whole book in a headspace that I no longer feel any emotional response to. This is why I think it will appeal more to younger audiences – perhaps women in their 20s who are still struggling with their self-image and sense of identity, and who need to know they’re not the only ones. It is a very difficult journey, and one I am glad to be mostly through with, frankly! I also felt like some of the elements that left me feeling distanced were cultural. Some of the worries and pressures that are described don’t feel quite how I remember them, and I think some of that could be because South Korean culture places a lot of pressure on young women to be pretty, polite and to conform to accepted gender roles. Of course I could be wrong on some of my interpretations here – I have no experience of Korean culture other than what I’ve read in books – so this is just a guess.

I can see why this book has been getting so much buzz. It is unlike any other mental health memoir I’ve read in the past, and it brings up a lot of intriguing and important discussions. I wish I had felt a stronger connection to it, but I am glad that I read it, and I would definitely recommend it to those who are in a similar place in their own lives, and who are perhaps struggling to find solid ground and a sense of self and purpose. I commend Baek Se-Hee for sharing her experiences and her (very) personal insights. It took courage, and I know she has already helped many who are suffering in a similar way, and will continue to do so. In the introduction she said she wrote this hoping it would find others like her, and help them feel less alone. I’m sure she has.

Thank-you NetGalley and Publisher for the chance to review this ARC.

I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki
by Baek Sehee

Hooked me from the title.

It was such an enjoyable read.
The writing and the sense of humor really resonated with me.

I got a lot out of this book, particularly how honest and raw the author got about her own low-grade depression. The examination of everyday phenomenon in a therapeutic setting was really interesting to consider. I think some of it was a little blunt to read, just in terms of how it was actually written, but I enjoyed the candid nature of the book regardless.

This was a really cool idea for a book, and honestly who wasn't hooked in by the title and the cover?

Thank you to netgalley and the publishers for providing me with an arc for an honest review!

I wanted to enjoy this novel so much because the premise sounded like a story I would love, but unfortunately I didn't particularly care for the writing style.

A book translated from the Korean.An intimate look at the authors life her mental health through her therapy sessions.Unique eye opening a book many will relate to.#netgalley #bloomsbury.

This was definitely an interesting read and there were a ton of really good quotes that I've highlighted and will definitely think about for some time.

To have the insight into the conversations between Baek Se-hee and her psychiatrist were extremely vulnerable and personal, almost feeling intrusive at times. It takes a lot of courage and bravery to be able to be that vulnerable, not only with another person, but also to be willing to share it in the book.

I identified with a lot of what Baek Se-hee said and felt, sometimes to an uncomfortable extent because it felt like she was extracting thoughts straight from my brain. She was able to intellectualize feelings that I was never able to explain which both felt so comforting to know that those feelings are not unique, but also really made my individuality complex suffer, knowing that those feelings are not unique.

This was a very short book and I think that while I read it in one sitting, another good way to read this is read a chapter once a day or every few days, almost as if getting to sit in on a therapy session one at a time to be able to really absorb everything being said.

I felt that the ending was a bit underwhelming and I wish there was more cohesion in the way that the book ended to really bring the whole book full circle. But I thought it was really impactful and moving, and would definitely recommend it anyone that identifies with her feelings or wants to be able to empathize with individuals that feel this way.

Since I have gained an immense amount of self-awareness this past year, this book hits hard in the feels. I made lots of discoveries and intensified my advocacy for mental health. This read is important. It’s told in a conversation/dialogue form between the author Baek Se-hee and her psychiatrist. It felt very intimate and I was strongly connected to their discussion. So much respect for the author for sharing her story and for everyone who’s going through it. I’m still learning, processing, and seeing my surroundings in a different lens day by day.

A quick but intense read. Despite the topic of depression and anxiety, it is ultimately a book of attempting to improve one's mental health and the ups and downs of that process. Even if you can't relate to the content or the journey, it may help you understand someone else's.

DNF @ 17%

Maybe it's a translation issue, maybe it's just the style of writing, but this was so straightforward as to be awkward and unreadable. I usually enjoy "talking to your therapist" memoirs like Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, but this book suffered a little from the "some of your thoughts and problems are really only interesting to yourself" issue. When I was younger and hadn't read as much or was in a different stage of life I think I might have enjoyed it more, because some of the thoughts might have felt fresher and like new ideas, but everything I read felt like a repetition of something I'd already heard before. Sad this is not for me, but I think it will connect well with other readers.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing this eARC.

I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki chronicles interactions between the author and her psychiatrist, followed by the author's reflections on what she has learned and the ways in which she can and will grow and change.

This interesting memoir offered a quick, insightful read, and definitely got me thinking about the ways in which I might look at my world in the same way the author looks at hers. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the guidance of her psychiatrist -- at times I agreed with or understood the things they were saying, and at other times they felt a bit dismissive -- but I did very much appreciate Sehee's reflections.

I do wonder, as I often do with translated works, whether a lot of the bluntness of the writing was simply a result of translation, and whether many of these sentences would sound better in the book's original language. Ultimately I don't think that the sort of bluntness of language is something I found myself holding against the book as I was reading it, but it is something I've wondered about since finishing it.

I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki doesn't necessarily offer every reader the mysterious answers to all of life's questions, but it does provide interesting and honest insight into what therapy looks like for another individual, a perspective which I believe is inherently valuable in a society that's just learning to openly discuss and care for people's mental health.

Initially intrigued by the book because BTS recommended it….

Not really a big BTS fan, but nonetheless was intrigued.

It took me at least half the book to fully get into the book. I’m one of those readers, who will get through a book even if I’m not fully interested. But in this case, I’m glad I did.

The beginning few chapters were a bit mundane. Scattered conversations, a little bit of everything.

But it got more interesting as I felt the conversation got more real. I felt that it really did a good job portraying the psychological aspect of being a Korean and in dealing with the various emotions and nuances of living in a Korean culture. I’ve read many (MANY) therapy memoir books (which I love) and though I loved them, this book was amazing in that it brought in the cultural aspect/nuance as well.

The book didn’t come to a “happy ever after” but I loved the conclusions and realizations that the author came to. It was very realistic and real. And I really appreciated that.

i found myself relating to this memoir many times over; I enjoyed the format the therapy sessions were recounted in and the openness and approachability of it.

The writing was not of the quality I was expecting. Additionally, the psychiatrist sessions felt tedious to read.

This was an interesting book and concept. The unique portrayal into Sahee’s therapy sessions was captivating but came to be underwhelming. I enjoyed this take on addressing mental health but unfortunately it wasn’t for me.

Thank you to Net Galley and Bloomsbury for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I don't think this book was for me. I didn't love the writing style and couldn't connect with the narration at all. I get what the book was trying to do but it didn't work for me. I think the topics it tackled are really important, mental health and unhealthy habits and behaviors are important to recognize; as this is a memoir, my complains are not about the story itself but rather the writing and storytelling. My main issue was that the conversations didn't feel natural, which for me made it hard to really get into the book. I think i would've enjoyed this book much more if I had listened to it on audiobook.

An interesting book to remind us to be kind to ourselves.

I became aware of and interested in this book through friends who are BTS fans. I'm glad I decided to pick this up because there are a lot of good tidbits about oneself to reflect upon. It's a transcript of the author's sessions with her psychiatrist, translated in a simple and succinct manner. There are moments in this book worth thinking about, especially with topics about self-esteem and stop trying to please other people in exchange for one’s happiness. I actually like the matter-of-fact tone of the psychiatrist. Anyone who reads this book will find at least something in common with Baek Sehee, and hopefully, her psychiatrist's words may feel just as reassuring as they felt for the author. It did the same for me.

Thank you, Netgalley and Bloomsbury Publishing, for the eARC.

Although interesting in concept, it didn’t fully deliver. Sehee anxiety is extreme to the extent where she records her therapy sessions in order to remember what was said because she essentially blacks-out from the stress. The majority of the book is her verbatim conversations with her psychiatrist with Sehee’s hindsight and elaboration at the end of each conversation. The majority of the best writing is in these small sections after the dialogue in small nuggets of one or two beautiful lines. However, the conversations themselves felt uninteresting. Maybe I’m missing the cultural significance or something was lost in the translation. A mixed bag unfortunately.

I thought this book was interesting, and the title was really alluring. I however couldn't quite get into the transcript format of the book.

This book did not work for me. It seems to be simply transcripts of the author's sessions with her therapist.