
I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki
A Memoir
by Baek Sehee
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Pub Date Nov 01 2022 | Archive Date Dec 07 2022
Bloomsbury USA | Bloomsbury Publishing
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Description
The internationally bestselling therapy memoir translated by International Booker Prize shortlisted Anton Hur.
PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you?
ME: I don't know, I'm – what's the word – depressed? Do I have to go into detail?
Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her - what to call it? - depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgmental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends, performing the calmness her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a desire for her favorite street food: the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like?
Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a twelve-week period, and expanding on each session with her own reflective micro-essays, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions, and harmful behaviors that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness. It will appeal to anyone who has ever felt alone or unjustified in their everyday despair.
Available Editions
EDITION | Other Format |
ISBN | 9781635579383 |
PRICE | $24.00 (USD) |
PAGES | 208 |
Featured Reviews

Say what you will about kpop, but BTS members have recommended some incredible fiction and nonfiction. This is the latter.
Sehee has a good job, family and partner support. Why then is she depressed?
This isn't severe clinical depression. It's the sort of day to day lows we learn to live with. Why do we learn to live with this? What makes this okay?
I enjoyed the discussion style format of this book. Asians aren't known for seeking mental health. This has traveled with them as they've emigrated.
Growing up in an Asian-American household, mental health wasn’t a thing we discussed. I feel like this is prevalent in many immigrant cultures. We need to start talking about this. Mental health is just as important as physical health.

This book was recommended by BTS and the title instantly grabbed my attention. I went into it not knowing what to expect which I think is a good way to go into this kind of book. This short memoir discusses mental health in a way that most of us think about sometimes and how it also affects how we look at strangers.
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