I’ve been meaning to review this for ages so apologies for the delayed response. I’ve been following the Facebook pages of the authors for years and have always really enjoyed their posts, and so this book was like a bumper edition of their best posts.

I work in accessibility and will be highly recommending this to my colleagues, as well as allistic managers, parents, etc. It also had great resources on spying ABA in disguise. So so great.

I Will Die On This Hill by Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards is not a book just for parents. That probably seems like an odd statement considering its subtitle is “Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World”. It is definitely aimed at the two groups mentioned there; autistic adults and autism parents, and the two authors offer their very candid perspectives from each side of that “hill”. For me, as someone who has multiple friends and associates who are neurodivergent this has been the first book that I’ve read on the subject that was properly informative about the autistic community.

The aim of I Will Die On This Hill is to bridge the communication gap between autistic adults and autism parents. As Meghan explains getting a diagnosis of autism for her children was difficult and met with a lot of stigma. When she finally did get a diagnosis the only information that she received from medical professionals was to correct her child’s behaviour. That seemed odd to Meghan as someone who advocated for developmentally appropriate practices for children, and so she started to look for more information about autism online. She goes into detail about her journey and how she found a community of other autism parents, but it was only when Jules started commenting on her blog that she became aware of autistic adults.

As Jules and Meghan discuss throughout I Will Die On This Hill, there is a large community of autistic adults, many of which who want to help allistic (non-autistic) parents of autistic children understand autism better. Autistic adults were once autistic children; they’ve been there and want to help the next generation. The problem is that parents also want to help their children, and it can be difficult for them to hear someone else talking like an expert about their children. There are other difficulties and conflicts which Jules and Meghan discuss, along with guests who have contributed short essays that have been placed between chapters.

The level of detail that these two authors have gone into is absolutely amazing, and as they are writing from the position of a parent who knows nothing at all about autism they have built the knowledge in I this book from the ground up. It’s a great introduction to autism and the autistic community from two very different and very important perspectives, and has a fantastic amount of resources spread throughout for further reading. Between the two of them, Jules and Meghan have covered so much. This includes racism as Jules is Indigenous and Meghan has Black and Brown children, and the afterword is written by a queer person, Jillian Nelson.

I appreciated how diverse the information was as prior to reading I Will Die On This Hill I was completely unaware that “autism awareness” was linked to organisations who have harmful agendas and believe that autism needs to be cured. Instead, it is important to make the distinction to say “autism acceptance” as that is what the autism community strives for; to be accepted for who they are.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who wants to learn more about autism and the autism community, especially if you are a parent or someone who has children in your life. Whether you are a parent or relative of autistic children if you are around children you will meet autistic children, and it’s important that you know more about autism, so you can talk to your children about autism too. Be part of autism acceptance, not stigma!

As the grandparent of an autistic child with no previous experience I so appreciated this book. Filled with insight and compassion.

I can NOT love this book more. As an educator in an autism classroom I feel like this is a book that everyone needs to read. It is easy to read and understand and gives great insight. I have recommended it to some parents and colleagues and they all agree that this book is amazing.

So incredibly insightful and should be required reading for anyone who has a child diagnosed with autism OR adults diagnosed with autism and how to navigate and have conversations with allistic parents. So insightful and a book that is NEEDED within the autistic and neurodivergent community.

This was an incredible read. There are many autism books out there, but not anything like this. It's something that both autistic people and "autism moms" need. I understand that this is a pretty bold statement to make especially judging the differences and animosity between both groups, but this book definitely delivers on that.

I will die on this hill is written in collaboration by an autistic woman, and a parents with autistic family members. The book discusses both their family's diagnostic journeys and how their viewpoints on autism and being neurodivergent have changed over the years. The book also covers things from a non-white perspective which you don't see covered often in autism books.

I'm really grateful this book finally exists. It's so thoughtful, includes the voices of a diverse group of people and yet is fundamentally about dialogue between two different groups, represented by two main authors, one who is autistic and another who is the parent of autistic children. I think that dialogue across different perspectives is very important for all areas of life, but especially when conversations can be so fraught, as they often are between parents of autistic children, and autistic adults. This book is a model for what each group can learn from the other about our different needs and also about how to have these discussions.

I thought this book had some interesting information, but also felt that the language was a little off putting. As a parent of three adult childern on the spectrum, I couldn't help feeling attacked by some of the advice. I guess the book just wasn't my cup of tea.

One of the main points of this book is that non-autistic people need to listen to autistic people’s opinions, not only of treatments, but of their inclusion in society. A great place to start is by reading this book. Even if you think you know something about autism, you’ll probably learn something new. If you know it all already, then perhaps you should be an active advocate and/or ally, and this book has some great suggestions about how and where. If you are a parent or teacher looking for answers, this is a great primer on how to do that and how to connect with the real experts: autistic adults. So-called experts are often wrong about the best way to help because there is a legacy of misinformation and well-meaning treatment of autistic people to try to make them fit, or to exclude them, some of which is considered abusive by autistic adults who have been subjected to it. They deserve better lives and the rest of us should be more open to learning from them rather than trying to change them.

There’s such a lot of information in this book that it is rather overwhelming. I was particularly impressed with the introduction by Morénike Giwa Onaiwu and the afterword by Jennifer Nelson. While I was reading the afterword, it occurred to me that it would have been helpful earlier in the book. Another fantastic aspect are the own voices who write short pieces throughout the book, putting into practice the authors’ recommendation that autistic people themselves should guide the way because they know exactly what it is like to be autistic, in all their individual and varied ways. The main authors, Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards were originally on opposite sides of the debate, both as mothers of autistic children, one of whom discovered she was autistic as an adult. They managed to bridge their differences and work together to produce a great resource that they hope will lead to improved outcomes for autism support.

I was very disappointed in this book. As a neurodivergent mother of an autistic child, I just did not like it at all. It was not at all what I expected. Honestly, this is a white male shaming book in the disguise of an educational autism book. Yes, white men do not have the best history in regards to controlling most things, but this is 2023 and I think it's time we started working on the now and future instead of just complaining about the past. The main issue I have with the constant mention of white men and white people is that it feels forced so that people of colour will be more drawn to the book. While there is very important information in this, this book is not something I'd recommend. I also don't feel like this book is very relatable to anyone outside of the US. It is a US-based book, so most information and other things such as statistics here are US-based. Unfortunately, the US is wildly different than so many other countries and the US has a lot to learn. Comparison between the US and other countries is scary in most things, but in this instance, mostly in views of autism and disability.

However, some of the personal stories told about being autistic and/or being a mother to an autistic child were relatable and I did feel validated reading that. Unfortunately, I just don't see this book as a valuable resource.

Have you every been blown away by the powerful messages contained within the pages of a great new book?

I recently had the opportunity to read I Will Die On This Hill, a collaborative project by Jules Edwards and Meghan Ashburn, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I've finally gotten my hands on a book that truly gets it.

This book offers so much value its readers. Its plain language makes it an easy read that many that will find both hard to put down and easy to break into small sessions.

One of the things that I appreciated most was the diverse range of perspectives and lived experiences from autistic guest writers and the authors, both neurodivergent mothers of autistic children of color working to dispel myths, misconceptions, and misinformation spread about autism while also shining a spotlight on those who are even more overlooked or misunderstood.

Jules and Meghan come from vastly different backgrounds and experiences, and their book covers a wide range of topics for parents, doctors and teachers of autistic children, members of the autistic and autism communities, or simply anyone looking to better understand and support autistic well-being.

In addition to being educational and eye-opening, I Will Die On This Hill can also be an emotional read for those of us who have lived the reality of their words. The authors share their personal stories with honesty and vulnerability that will stay with you long after you finish the book regardless of who you are. As a late-diagnosed autistic woman of color with diagnosed neurodivergent and otherwise-disabled siblings and cousins, I have sat on both sides of the aisle: both as the family member watching hopeful relatives being inundated with ableist and outdated misinformation or services, and as someone learning to navigate a neurotypical-serving world alone and with more roadblocks imposed than support.

Reading this book took me back and forth, reliving memories of doctors visits and solutions that worked more to convenience and support "affected families" rather than the autistic children most in need, as a young woman learning to unlearn what I'd internalized while navigating a medical system plagued by antique and potentially dangerous information and services or lack thereof, and as a diagnosed woman carving out my own space in a society without a place for me.

I Will Die On This Hill is a must-read that belongs on the bookshelves of anyone who wants to help create a more compassionate world. What Meghan and Jules have done deserves to be acknowledged and could hopefully serve as a blueprint on allyship and teamwork between the autism and autistic communities and challenges you to think deeply about your own biases, sources and validity of information. Whether you are looking to learn more about autism or simply want to be a more understanding and supportive member of society, this book is an excellent resource I'd highly recommend. I Will Die On This Hill comes out tomorrow, Jan 19 and is available for preorder now.

This work is going to be reviewed for Penumbra Online sometime in the next two months. Keep watch!
With that said, although sometimes repetitive and a bit under-researched, this is an important work that speak to multiple issues surrounding autism. At first, I thought it was going to be more about parenting; however, the work is more powerful as a discussion concerning how there needs to be more understanding about intersectionality, marginalization, and how the two connect to the myths surrounding autism.

More to come!
DOUG

I got an ARC of this book.

Woah.

WOAH.

Woah.

I have been seeing this book pop up in my facebook feed a ton. I have been following one of the authors for a while now, because of her writing. So I am not surprised that she has put out a book. She is such a clear and thought out writer. I knew I needed this book. The other author was new to me. She runs a book club on facebook, so how have I not engage with her before? Books are my special interest (obviously).

I am autistic. I am a parent. I am a parent of an autistic teenager. So originally I got a copy so I could be a better parent to the youngest, but I learned more about myself than I did about being a better parent for him. I already know I would fight to the death for him and there would be zero stopping me. I would be the one making custom shirts for every event. So I already fit the loving parent model this book is for. I was ready. I was especially excited to see an autistic parent writing. It gave me hope that this would not be a book that would try and sell me a cure. My kid does not need to be cured. He might need a shower, but he is a teenage boy. This book even talks about the profitability and the community aspect of the cure aspect of the autism mom sphere. This book gave me some insight into my own step-mom, who very hard bought into the cure aspect with my little brother and denied that I could be because I am not a cishet little boy. Who gets diagnosed was also talked about. Just every little detail of this book was amazing. It really is the best book.

Did you know that autistic people are more sensitive to hot and cold? I am a furnace. I can’t have hot food or be in even relatively warm conditions without pain. I didn’t know there was a reason outside of just my luck. I learned little things like that throughout the book. I learned a lot about AAC. I will admit, I knew pretty much nothing before. It is one of the areas I have been struggling to learn. So if you are in the same situation, this will give you some of the words you need to actually dive in and learn. What I knew before was because of another person in the author’s activism and blogging circle (who also has a book coming out soon. I am so excited to try and get a copy!). This book has given me a new book club, more people to follow, and just so much more information. I went in with high hopes and they absolutely crushed them.

I was maybe three chapters in when I started recommending this book to others. One author fought to get her kid diagnosed, because no one believed her. That is what my coworker is going through with her youngest. She has been fighting since her kid was two. I told her and there is already a pre-order in place. Pretty much every person I know with an autistic kid, no matter how old, has been poked about this book. Then I started in on the autistic people (quite the overlap, which is not surprising at all, which is also an amazing point that is brought up in this book!). I could gush about this book for hours, and I have.

It is so well written, direct, honest, and powerful. Every point made an impact. Every detail was important. This is one of the top non-fiction books I have ever read. It is the best book about being a parent, autism, and/or how to be a good person. 100% you need this book, even if you aren’t a parent. It gives so much information and heart that it will make you a better person.

A very well organised and accessible book. It's written in easy to understand language (apart from a few Americanisms I looked up) and has bullet points of chapter summaries.

As a parent of an autistic child and someone that's been involved in the autistic community way before that I was nodding along to lots of this. I don't think I've ever highlighted a book so much. Any parent will probably know the 'diagnose and dump' experience and now I have a term for it.

It's vitally important that as parents we are willing to learn, listen and support the autistic community who are doing the heavy lifting here against a society and institutions that aren't listening. This book sets out how non-autistic parents of autistic children and autistic adult advocates often clash and misunderstand each other and has lots of top advice and further reading.

A resource I'd certainly recommend to well, just about anyone. But certainly parents, educators, policy makers, medics, anyone that wishes for true inclusion.

Thank you to Netgalley, the authors and the publisher for a free copy in exchange for an honest review.

This book is very informational and should be read by educators and parents alike. Finding information about Autism from Autistic people is wonderful and truly such good insight. It is a great reminder that disabled kids grow up to be disabled adults

Very good book for Autism parents. But I think all people can benefit from reading this book. As everyone can learn something from this book.

A comprehensive and compassionate guide on how autistic adults and parents of autistic children and youth can work together to build community, smash stereotypes, and advocate for the rights of those with neurological difference. I would not be the parent I am today if were not for Meghan Ashburn. Upon my son's initial diagnosis, I was overwhelmed and flooded with misinformation from professionals in the medical field as are most parents. Due to the honest and straight forward information Meghan provides to parents, I immediately started consulting with adults who are actually autistic, reading books written by autistic individuals, and honoring my son's most prevalent need for AAC assistance.

This book is a love offering to the autism community and provides resources, tools, and information that dismantles stereotypes and harmful information. This book is a resource that points parents in the right direction when seeking to understand that autism is not a behavioral disability but a neurological difference. Not only do Meghan and Jules provide us with accurate research on the topic of autism, they show us what information is outdated, encourage us to consult the social model of disability as opposed to the medical model that perpetuates harm and ableism, and give us the tools and information to raise our children from a place of love, patience, and understanding their unique neurotype.

Thank you so much to both authors and the publisher for the e-arc copy!

I Will Die on This Hill is such a gift for all of us who have been clueless and way too speculative and assuming about autism. I can’t guarantee that this is going to make you a better advocate—it might do that. But more importantly, Ashburn and Edwards’ honest and unsentimental book will make you a better human being and, therefore, a better neighbor, better educator, better family member to Autistic adults, Autism parents and the children who need us all to do better.
 
Marcie Alvis Walker, creator of Black Coffee with White Friends

While this book gave a lot of useful information it was simply not for me. Our household consists of 3 “neurospicy” members my husband and myself both have ADHD and our son is autistic. We have been navigating this life and adapting to make things work for quite some time. With that said I do feel this book would be a huge help to families just learning to navigate the world with autistic children and adults.

* Received copy for review.*

This book has a lot of important information. As the parent if an autistic child, I am always on the look out for books from the perspective of other autistic persons.