as an allistic person, I wasn't even remotely aware of all the troubles that autistic people and parents face, mostly because of our ablesitic society. I learned so many things with this book and I most certainly will seek out more information about the autistic world.
I also learned many tragic facts, the passages about abuse, suicide and filicide especially broke my heart. these issues are not even nearly talked about enough.
I believe that this book does a great job on helping entering the autistic world, giving information in a simple and direct way, without judging or sounding condescending.
it's a 5 out of 5 in my book.
Huge thanks to Meghan Ashburn, Jules Edwards and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for this opportunity to read the advance copy of this book on NetGalley.

There are a lot of books about Autism, but I Will Die on This Hill is one of the most unique books I've read so far, and I truly believe this book could be life changing for many people. It is written in a conversational style, with love, passion, humility and a true desire to see a better world for all Autistic and disabled people.

What Meghan and Jules have set out to do, is try and bridge the gap between Autistic people and non-Autistic parents of Autistic children. I think everybody who's been on the internet in any Autism related space has witnessed, or been part of, the frequent divide between these two 'hills'. But, the point of this book is that everyone has the same root goal, which is a better life for Autistic children. Now, the idea of what a 'better life' IS, often becomes the root of the argument, but this book brings in ideas, resources and plausible solutions on how we can all better connect and work together on a shared goal.

I am going to be honest, this book is going to make various people feel uncomfortable. Because, you have to be willing to challenge your bias and your ego, and put those things aside. Even though I've been learning for years now, regarding Autism and being a better communicator, this book still provided me with valuable reminders and additional tips on how to better 'bridge the gap'. Being a late identified Autistic parent, like Jules, I often feel like I'm in the middle and sometimes not seen by either side. I feel like the mission of this book is something we need more than anything else. Because, when we stand together, we have a much better chance to making long lasting change.

This book made me cry. A lot. But, it made me cry, because I felt so seen. And, it made me cry, because I hurt for all the Autistic people who aren't given a fair chance in life by a narrow minded society, and the fight that Autistic, and other disabled folks, face every single day. And, if you're a parent who has been given limited information by doctors who refuse to challenge their bias, you are going to read things that make you say OUCH, because we know you love your child, but even when we love our children; we don't always make the right choices. Facing our well intentioned mistakes is painful, and that's okay to admit, but the important thing is being able to sit with our discomfort and grow from it.

There is absolutely wonderful selection of guest essays in the book from a variety of Autistic advocates. While most Autistic people tend to have SOME shared traits, not all Autistic people are the same. Just like all other humans! To this day, in the year 2022, there are still so many stereotypes that center around the white, cis-male viewpoint. Listening to the words of BIPOC, trans, nonspeaking and other multi-marginalized Autistic advocates is key in making sure we truly lift ALL Autistic people, and NOT just those with specific privileges. If we aren't working to lift those who need the most support, then we aren't truly seeking equity.

Who should read this book? Well, everyone, in my opinion! But, certainly the parents of Autistic children, and Autistic adults who want to help better the lives of Autistic children. Teachers should read this book. Grandparents should read this book. Your neighbor down the street should read this book. Anybody who wants an honest, loving, REAL glimpse into trying to work TOGETHER to better this world for Autistic people.. should read this book.

Thanks to the authors and NetGalley for an ARC of this book.

Every parent of an autistic child needs to read this, and anyone who is autistic themselves should too. Ditto for people who are clinicians, specialists, teachers, and support staff.

Autistic people will feel affirmed and seen and parents and professionals will receive many anwers to burning questions or learn new helpful information.

This book centers autistic adults and our knowledge while showing empathy and compassion to parents of autistic children wanting to learn more.

It's intersectional, inclusive, Neurodiversity affirming, and leaves NO ONE in our community behind. Phenomenal. 5 stars.

Jen Smits, Contributer, Spectrum Women: Walking to the Beat of Autism

This is the kind of book I couldn't put down once I started.
During the years following my own autism diagnosis I often walked against a wall when it came to Autism Moms™. Why didn't they listen to autistic adults? Why did they keep bringing their children to ABA while they were told repeatedly that it is torture to autistic children? etc. This book adresses this communication gap in a wonderful way, making it a must read for both the mothers of autistic children and autistic adults.
The only real downside to this book I see is the fangirling over Why I Jump (See my own review on the book here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2974704414). While I see how this book changed the way Meghan looked to learning from autistics, and it is wonderful that it did, I do not think this is a book that should be read by everyone. As my own review states, it is too generalizing. I am fine not going back to the prehistoric watery mess, thanks.

I got an ARC of this book.

Woah.

WOAH.

Woah.

I have been seeing this book pop up in my facebook feed a ton. I have been following one of the authors for a while now, because of her writing. So I am not surprised that she has put out a book. She is such a clear and thought out writer. I knew I needed this book. The other author was new to me. She runs a book club on facebook, so how have I not engage with her before? Books are my special interest (obviously).

I am autistic. I am a parent. I am a parent of an autistic teenager. So originally I got a copy so I could be a better parent to the youngest, but I learned more about myself than I did about being a better parent for him. I already know I would fight to the death for him and there would be zero stopping me. I would be the one making custom shirts for every event. So I already fit the loving parent model this book is for. I was ready. I was especially excited to see an autistic parent writing. It gave me hope that this would not be a book that would try and sell me a cure. My kid does not need to be cured. He might need a shower, but he is a teenage boy. This book even talks about the profitability and the community aspect of the cure aspect of the autism mom sphere. This book gave me some insight into my own step-mom, who very hard bought into the cure aspect with my little brother and denied that I could be because I am not a cishet little boy. Who gets diagnosed was also talked about. Just every little detail of this book was amazing. It really is the best book.

Did you know that autistic people are more sensitive to hot and cold? I am a furnace. I can’t have hot food or be in even relatively warm conditions without pain. I didn’t know there was a reason outside of just my luck. I learned little things like that throughout the book. I learned a lot about AAC. I will admit, I knew pretty much nothing before. It is one of the areas I have been struggling to learn. So if you are in the same situation, this will give you some of the words you need to actually dive in and learn. What I knew before was because of another person in the author’s activism and blogging circle (who also has a book coming out soon. I am so excited to try and get a copy!). This book has given me a new book club, more people to follow, and just so much more information. I went in with high hopes and they absolutely crushed them.

I was maybe three chapters in when I started recommending this book to others. One author fought to get her kid diagnosed, because no one believed her. That is what my coworker is going through with her youngest. She has been fighting since her kid was two. I told her and there is already a pre-order in place. Pretty much every person I know with an autistic kid, no matter how old, has been poked about this book. Then I started in on the autistic people (quite the overlap, which is not surprising at all, which is also an amazing point that is brought up in this book!). I could gush about this book for hours, and I have.

It is so well written, direct, honest, and powerful. Every point made an impact. Every detail was important. This is one of the top non-fiction books I have ever read. It is the best book about being a parent, autism, and/or how to be a good person. 100% you need this book, even if you aren’t a parent. It gives so much information and heart that it will make you a better person.

I Will Die on This Hill is such a gift for all of us who have been clueless and way too speculative and assuming about autism. I can’t guarantee that this is going to make you a better advocate—it might do that. But more importantly, Ashburn and Edwards’ honest and unsentimental book will make you a better human being and, therefore, a better neighbor, better educator, better family member to Autistic adults, Autism parents and the children who need us all to do better.
 
Marcie Alvis Walker, creator of Black Coffee with White Friends

This is a book that the autistic community has needed for many years. There are multiple reasons why I will be recommending it. It's written in plain language, it's broken down in sections that can be read individually or as part of the big idea. This makes it more accessible. Even though there is a lot of information supported by academic research, it's not an academic text. It was written for the community and it will greatly benefit us. This doesn't mean it is not relevant for professionals. This book is just as valuable for any professional working with the autistic population. Having just finished an interprofessional fellowship in neurodevelopmental disabilities, I really hope all of my colleagues will read it because I can't think of one who will not benefit from the knowledge.

It's the perspectives of a non autistic parent of autistic children and an autistic adult who is also a parent of autistic children. They are open and honest about where they started and how their understanding developed. They are realistic about the conflicts, and they offer real advice on how to navigate community interactions. There are a lot of fantastic resources listed at the end of each chapter, and each includes a contribution by a self advocate, some of whom are writers I already knew of, and including autistic BIPOC and non speaking/AAC using self advocates.

And yes, they also talk about race and disability. What does race have to do with disability? Well, a lot, it turns out. A person's experience of disability is so thoroughly shaped by their racial background and that of other marginalized identities that you cannot separate them. There is not a much literature that addresses this well.

There are other important ideas that are not mentioned in a lot of books about autism, such as the different models of disability, the stereotyping in the medical community and overall culture, the concept of presumed competence, the dignity of risk and likely others.

I was provided an advance copy and this is my honest review. My paper copy is already preordered.