Cover Image: We Over Me

We Over Me

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Member Reviews

Who doesn’t love Devale & Khadeen?! I really enjoyed this book. I love how they imply that this isn’t a “how-to” guide, just things that have worked for THEM & their marriage. They have gone through so much together, I love how they have always stood together, and show up for one another even before they were married. Although it wasn’t a “how to survive marriage” book, there were a lot of things I was able to take away, and apply to my marriage. Devale & Khadeen exhibits openness, honesty and realness on social media, so just imagine what they’ve shared in this book! If you love love, black love, & The Ellis Family, I would recommend this read!

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This was a real book! I liked reading about one of my fave IG couples. I enjoy their videos so much that I was looking forward to reading this. It was refreshing and raw and really gave me a lot to think about. I appreciate them keeping it real and being open.

Thank you so much for the opportunity to review this book.

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this book was sent to me by the publisher. I don't really follow either of them or their careers. I've seen the gentleman in one movie and that was because it had one of my favorite actresses in ii, Eva Marcelle. I read the book and truthfully, most of it came off like any other relationship book. The few things that didn't, really doesn't fit the personality of the person I am. It's nothing wrong with it, It's just different and not really for me, and that's ok.

I received a copy of the book via Netgalley and am voluntarily leaving an honest review of my own thoughts and opinions.

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I enjoyed this book. It was quite insightful and easy to read. The book was well written and covered a multitude of pertinent information that was easy to relate to.

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I come across this couple a lot on IG so it was a delight to see that they wrote a book. There is awesome advice in this book for all stages of relationships. We over me will always win.

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If you are familiar with this couple then you have probably heard some of these stories and thoughts throughout the years. But that doesn't take away from the fact that this book is a good and entertaining read.

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Khadeen and Deval make it a point to say they are not #CoupleGoals but in all honesty they truly are! Their journey is their own but the spirit of their marriage is what they try to impart in We Over Me. The entire point of their story is to tell you, "To be happy and healthy in your own marriage, you've got to play by your own rules and choose the We over Me every time!"

Special thanks to NetGalley and Random House Publishing for reaching out to me and offering an ARC of We Over Me. What an honor to be able to read this!

As a single woman without kids, some would feel like this book doesn't speak to them but let me tell you it does! They wrote this for everyone (single, married, divorced, parents, grandparents, etc.)! I found myself relating to Khadeen's recollection of her collegiate experience and at the same time siding with Devale when it came to arguments. The relationship advice that they were given by their parents (to serve or not serve) and the lack of insight to their parent's relationship (no sex talk) is something that is an universal experience. All of it was somehow eerily familiar but uniquely theirs.

Some of the overarching themes they emphasized were as follows:
1. Marriage is a choice each and every day
2. Serving and Simping is not a bad thing, no matter what social media tells you
3. The only person to appease or satisfy regarding your marriage is your spouse.
4. Prioritize your needs and speak your desire. Communication is essential and vital to a healthy and lasting relationship.
5. People and relationships are ever evolving... grow and get to know one another as it happens.

This should be required reading for everyone prior to applying for their marriage license or seeking guidance. Loved it!

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To many in the IG/podcast/Youtube streets, Devale and Khadeen Ellis aren’t new faces; their popularity as a millennial couple has grown over the years as they’ve let the general public in on their lives as influencers/entertainers and parents to “four whole boys.” I’ve certainly followed their growth over the years, and was pleasantly surprised by the announcement the couple had written a book. We Over Me is a further look behind the curtain of the couple’s relationship while also presenting the approach they’ve grown into that has allowed them to stay together more than two decades.

We Over Me chronicles the trajectory of Devale and Khadeen’s relationship while incorporating insights from the lessons they learned along the way. Each chapter covers a particular time in their relationship and a challenge they overcame, with alternating perspectives from Devale and Khadeen explaining their thoughts at the time as well as their reflections having seen the other side of the issue. Interspersed are “hot takes” from each, which give pieces of advice that are tangential but connected to each chapter’s focus. With this format, they detail the ups and downs of their partnership, whether related to setting expectations and boundaries for the relationship, weathering financial hardships, navigating the choice to have a family, changing sexual intimacy, and more.

I tend to be leery of books in the advice/self-help genre, so I wanted to read We Over Me with an open mind. I wondered what the Ellises would share in a book that hadn’t already been addressed in their various social media posts and podcast episodes. Having followed them on social media for a few years, I was already aware of some topics from being discussed previously on other platforms. However, it’s clear that their approach to social media is not to hide every low or broadcast every high (at least not in real time). In We Over Me, there were experiences they disclosed about themselves and their families that felt new and particularly vulnerable. I was pleasantly surprised not only with the new depth they were able to offer on topics previously discussed, but also the candor with which they disclosed new information.

One thing the Ellises make clear is that their way isn’t the only way. The lessons they gleaned from their ups and downs are shared as insights that readers can/should apply only as they see fit. In the process, they highlight the many pieces of advice they heard about how to manage their relationship, then either incorporate or reject them based on the needs of their partnership in the modern landscape. I appreciate this attitude – it’s very clear that the values and priorities they place on their own relationship may not work for everyone, and that’s OK. Instead, they present what’s worked for them, hoping that a tidbit here or there might help the next couple, and that’s all they set out to do.

I definitely enjoyed We Over Me and its conversational style. Whether you’re looking for advice on navigating a tough spot in your relationship, trying to prepare yourself for your next partner, or just want to read their thoughts, this is an entertaining and thought-provoking read. Everything they recommend may not fit, but there’s definitely a lot of food for thought. That alone secures my recommendation.

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I really love the book. The back story of both them warmed my heart. I love how they kept it real about marriage. I can’t wait one day for me to find someone experience that type of love.

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Maybe because I already read Marriage Be Hard I'm a little jaded on the marriage advice books. In this book, Devalle comes across as selfish and egotistical. They wait until the conclusion to tell us Kay cheated on him. For someone who was addicted to pain meds, how are you anyone's role model? Religious folks won't like the tea that Kay had an abortion back in college. Devalle cursed unnecessarily in this book- editor should have done a better job and taken those out. I like the persistence and book basically says if it's meant to be it will be. Only 3 stars because at least the book was coherent and managed to get published. Some things should stay in the closet though is my opinion. Didn't really like this one.

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We Over Me, is the journey of Khadeen and Devale Ellis. From page one to the last page, they open their hearts and allow the words of wisdom, frustration, life struggles, and rediscovery of life. Their story is unique to them. We Over Me, is an intentional and emotional read. A beautiful story from two beautiful people.

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4.5/5⭐️
- Wow! I didn't expect this book to cause so much self reflection. Im not married. Im no where near close to it lol I simply adore this family and want to see them win!

- Khadeen Ellis popped up on my explore page years ago and I've been following her since. A true New Yorker with personality and body for days! She truly embraces and walks in her truth and its so hard not to get sucked up into her light. But like I said shes from NY so please don't try to be cute🤣Devale is actually hilarious and I absolutely adore the love and admiration he shows Khadeen. He takes his responsibilities serious and it's evident in the way he loves his family. Learned a lot about the couple of course but I got a deep dive on Devale and I was genuinely surprised.

- This book asked the hard questions! If you don't scrunch your face up once thinking why they in my business you not getting everything you can out of this book! Such real and raw topics with a playful energy as they discussed them. Oh and the hot takes they had throughout the chapters were amazing! Beautiful touch to this testimony of a marriage. Only thing I didn't enjoy was the constant back and forth... it literally gave me whiplash. I needed more concise transitions. The flashbacks were important but Im just not a fan of too much back and forth.

- Definitely recommend! It will be out February 7th! I received a copy from netgalley.

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I want to thank Netgalley and the author for this E-ARC. I gave this book 2 stars due to not finishing it once i got to the 40% mark. I feel like it didnt give any advice that you dont already know as far as relationships/marriages. I went out of my comfort zone of genres i enjoy reading and i think thats my main reason for not finishing it.

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This book cultivate that your relationship is based on the choices you and your partner makes. The choice to communicate with one another . The choice to choose one another daily. A good relationship is give and take. This book is in dual perspectives between Devale and Khadeen. Filled with stories from their relationships and the journey to love differently than their parents

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This book was sooo good!! I love the transparency and the insight they share about their marriage and the life they have created together. The humor and way they clearly take care of each other is so great. I highly recommend this book.

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So grateful to NetGalley for providing the opportunity to read this book and provide feedback.
I’ve been following Devale and Khadeen since the Brooklyn apartment lol and just like their content on SM, their podcast, and live shows that didn’t disappoint with this book. My favorite thing about this book is that throughout the whole book they make a point in dismissing couple goals and patterning one’s relationship like someone else. I love that throughout the book they state to make your own goals for your relationship and doing what works best for you because that’s basically what they did. I love that they both addressed their own trauma and differences in the way they were raised and spoke about the importance of doing so. It didn’t read like a “how to book” and that was the best part to me. It’s just them being honest and transparent about the obstacles they faced and how they commit daily to making each others lives better. All in all it was an easy read and I was able to take a way some great points.

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I have followed them on Social Media and I have seen their relationship grow with every child they have had. To learn their story made me love them even more.

I got a chance to see where they came from and how they met and I see how they met and how they made their relationship work for them. They didn’t follow the traditional way of creating the relationship that allows them to enjoy each other. You get to see the things that could have pulled them apart bring them closer

I am not married but a lot that they talked about I can use in my relationship.

Thank you to Netgalley for allowing me to give my honest review of We over Me!

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Very cute marriage relationship book that I think is applicable to many couples. I love that the narrators take turns explaining different aspects as this makes it feel like a book I can share with my husband, I think patrons will enjoy this book also.

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I have been following this couple for quite sometime. From their appearance on Black Love docuseries to their podcast, and also watching Devale on the television show, Sistas. I truly enjoyed this book. They appeared honest, transparent, and avoidable. I like how they were seemingly honest about many of the challenges they faced as a couple. Additionally, I enjoyed the alternating viewpoints. It showed how differently they sometimes viewed the same situation. Thank you Netgalley for the read in exchange for the review.

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Received this ARC courtesy of NetGalley.
I like the approach they took to telling their story & the thought put behind it. I am biased because I do like them (from what I see online). I cannot wait for this to come out so I can listen on audio (they better be narrating).

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