This book unfortunately did not hook me, straight from the get go I was counting the pages I had left to read. It's an amazing concept, but execution leaves a lot to be desired.

Professor Bridges and the Programmable Planet is the first in a fun new sci-fi series. Professor Nick Bridges spends his days alternating between ridiculing uni students and alien abduction stories and drinking till he blacks out. Until one day he finds himself experiencing his own very real abduction story, thrown into a galactic fight for survival. No one believes in his ability to succeed, not even him, and especially not the android replica of his ex-wife. Yet, for reasons unknown, he continues to fight to the end. The periodic moments of backstory were originally unexpected, but definitely added to the understanding of the character. I would recommend this story for anyone who likes "Hitchhiker's Guide" style stories with sarcastic humans being let loose on the galaxy.

This was a NetGalley read.

Very Brief Summary: Professor Nick Bridges teaches a university course devoted to the phenomenon of alien abduction stories and explaining away their legitimacy. Walking home one evening after fueling his heirloom alcoholism, he is, naturally, abducted by aliens.

[spoilers might live below!]

I kept that summary brief because how funny is that? I love that premise. From the moment Nick mocked his student’s uncle’s abduction story, I knew that cynical ass hole was getting his ass abducted. Nick Bridges is a fantastic main character because he kind of irritated the hell out of me. It was fun to read about the struggles of someone that I, in the beginning, believed deserved it.

I really admire the way the story is split up between the current struggle and the appropriately timed flashbacks that Nick is experiencing. I’ll be honest, I was so annoyed with Nick in the beginning; he’s selfish and rude. But the explanations about his past shed a light on his life and behaviors that I wasn’t expecting, and I came out in the end rooting for him.

I was surprised how much I related to Nick in certain moments, like when he reflected on how alone he was in space as the only human. Although I am fairly certain I’ve never been alone in space, I have moved to vastly new communities on multiple occasions in my life and felt that level of loneliness and uncertainty.

When I went to find the amazon link for this book, I discovered it is book one in a series! I’m excited! I was sad for Nick that it felt like his adventure was already over, BUT I’m thrilled that there are more plans for his future!

Highly recommend!

I received an advance digital copy in exchange for an honest review via NetGalley and the publisher. Thank you.

Overall I feel as if Professor Bridges is a pretty fun and enjoyable sci-fi adventure. A lot of the story felt rehashed and the sci-fi elements seemed to be lifted from other my classic stories of aliens and space exploration.

I think the combination of humor and using known sci-fi elements makes this book perfect for the more beginner and entry level fan of science fiction.

TW: alcoholism, death of a parent, abuse, cancer, misogyny, homophobia, fatphobia
I liked this more than I anticipated. I requested this on a whim because the cover and description really hooked me. I think it was overall a fun read, fun world. Though, I do wish that there was a bit less sexualizing of the female characters, but I guess you could spin it that Nick is supposed to be unlikeable and therefore...this would be a normal thing for him to do? Not thrilled at that aspect of this writing/book, but I continued on. The presence of the things I listed a TW for are all explained, so I do understand why they were included or what purpose they served, even if I wasn't necessarily thrilled by their inclusion.
Overall, well-plotted and simply written (which made the story pretty easy to follow and understand, which can be tough in a sci-fi setting). The characters and plot were okay--I would be interested in the next installment but hope that the themes are handled a bit differently if the same ones are present.

Professor Bridges and the Programmable Planet by Chris Hackett

No spoilers TLDR: 3.5 stars rounded down to 3 stars. I truly enjoyed about 80% of this book and think the cover is absolutely fantastic. The comparisons between Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and Men in Black are understandable; however, those titles set very high, if not unobtainable, bars to reach. Regardless, if you enjoyed those two, I believe you will enjoy this as well. Although, you absolutely need to be able to read from the perspective of an unlikable main character. Otherwise, this isn’t for you.

CW: alcoholism, death of a parent, abuse, cancer, misogyny, homophobia (specifically the use of the f-slur multiple times), bullying, and fatphobia.

Review containing spoilers. Please bear in mind these are all my personal, subjective opinions. One of the things that makes reading so wonderful is that we all have vastly different experiences with books.

Nick starts out incredibly unlikable. The synopsis made it clear that he would though so when in the first paragraph of the first page Nick is internally dismissive towards a “large kid” in his class who threw “his chubby hand in the air” I continued on. Casual fatphobia be damned. Things continued to ruffle my feathers over the next few pages, but I shook it off. This is what I signed up for after all; I wouldn’t DNF even before hitting the second chapter.

Then I hit the second chapter and the first female character who was given a name was immediately sexualized upon her introduction.

“Before I had time to really think, my brain began firing off impulses and suddenly I was picturing this beautiful alien standing in front of me naked. She had an odd attractiveness to her, despite being a different species. I couldn’t help but be drawn to her.”

My brain nearly exploded from rage. It’s nearly 2023 and we’re still doing this? Especially after the year women have had in 2022, not only in the US but globally? Yes, it’s explained away because the female alien emits pheromones that make the men go ooouugah, but that reasoning only intensifies how aggravating it is to see this in a modern Sci-Fi. At this point I very seriously considered DNF-ing and leaving a drastically different review.

Many deep breaths later I continued on. Female characters continued to only be fuckable, nags, bitches, or background noise. Until they weren’t. Nick as a character grew, had his Taylor Swift Anti-Hero moment, and was able to see beyond himself which in turn meant we were shown more than these one-dimensional characters. During this process I went from begrudgingly reading this book because I had requested it on NetGalley, to honestly enjoying the story despite some of the problems I had with it. It took quite a bit longer for me to get on board with Nick, but eventually, I didn’t despise him as much as I did on page one.


On whole, this was well written. The character growth/development, pacing, structure, and overarching story were all great. In the slower moments or flashbacks, I was never bored because the author plotted this so effectively. By the end of the book, I understood why the misogyny, fatphobia, homophobia, etc. were included in the beginning despite how much I still hated their inclusion.

If I am to be honest, I have to include that for me, the writing style felt inconsistent. I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that in my personal opinion an editor should have taken another pass at this before publishing. Portions of this book had sentences with structures that were so simplistic they felt as if they could have been written by a Creative Writing student. In addition, the formatting, beyond what will be changed from the ARC to final copy, could have been tightened up. Descriptive words were used multiple times in the span of a short paragraph. Other words were used enough times throughout the book to break immersion. Specifically, the following:

Cacophony x6
Ponder/pondering x6
Sucked his/her teeth x4
Suck x8
Worry x10
Worried/worriedly x32


Will I continue on with the series? I think so. Obviously I found flaws with the book, but I ended up enjoying it enough to want to see what happens next. However, if Nick regresses into being sexist and misogynistic in the same way as he started book one, I will immediately DNF and not look back.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest review.

Adjunct Professor Nick Bridges was off to his "little piece of heaven...the Whitewood, the local bar...". His first day of class, a social science class dispelling abduction myths, did not go well. In an inebriated state, "walking home on an Alabama summer night...alone, in the dark...with only the flickering lightning bugs to keep [him] company...A blinding light...a rhythmic rumbling from the ground...". A seat appeared, beckoning him inside a glass sphere...the floating taxi, attaining g-force speed, taking him to a faraway planet. Nick had been abducted!

Using a mental translator, an Air Pod of sorts, human-alien communication was established. Nanites, surgically implanted, were programmed to help Nick's body fight infection and/or promote healing from unknown microorganisms. No anal probe seemed forthcoming. What a relief!

Of all the Earth's humans, Nick Bridges alone had been summoned by an intergalactic multi-species police force. A troubling deviation had been detected. Measures were needed to prevent planetary chaos. Mission Impossible: Infiltrate Ceyron...figure out what happened to the agent serving as their protector, and reopen and ready the wormhole, the seamless portal to this alien planet." Upon completion, return to the space station and be transported back to Earth.

How could the universe depend upon Nick? He was always drunk or buzzed. Drink, and lack of follow through on anything, was responsible for the demise of his marriage and the reason for his dead end job. He was "divorced, disinterested and defeated." "I wasn't who these aliens needed me to be. I wasn't even close to what they needed...Why was I here?"

Assistance was provided by the aliens in two ways; a battle suit and a travel companion. A battle suit, carried in a metal backpack, could be activated delivering wrap around armor. When not in use, it could shrink down and be stored. Oh the joy of Nick's humanoid android companion, a robot designed specifically for him, as computed by the alien's algorithm. Meet ex-wife Laura! In Laura's words, "we got divorced because you are an asshole." "I'll call her Laurabot...This android even had the same snotty inflection in her voice."

"You mean to tell me that I am trapped on some alien planet, with a mission that's nearly impossible to complete, and a partner who is my ex-wife, and I can't get drunk? I need some thinking juice! Tune in and discover the fun-filled escapades in this first installment of Professor Bridges Saga. A delightful, humorous space opera! Highly recommended.

Thank you Tall Tales Press and Net Galley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.