3.5 stars. Since I’m about to become a parent for the first time, I’ve read several parenting books recently and though this one isn’t all that unique, it is still good overall.
Cutlip claims to have a completely fresh premise, and although the RAM model is new to me (the five bonds of know, trust, rely, commit and trust), she also gets into the basics of attachment theory and burnout which are concepts I’m already familiar with. For those who aren’t familiar with those ideas or for someone who is needing a pep talk and hasn’t read a parenting book/content in a while, this could be nice.
The most practical parts of the book were the “Ask yourself these questions” sections toward the end of each chapter. I also appreciated some of the scripts and examples of reframing she gave, but it’s hard to know how applicable those are in real life situations until I’m in the thick of parenting.
Overall, I feel that this would be better suited as a workbook with brief explanations and examples followed by her questions. I know she had some tables and graphs, but, at least in my early copy, the formatting on those was either absent or unreadable due to the number of errors.
When reading on the iOS Kindle app, large sections of text were in a font color nearly matching the page color, which made it entirely unreadable. When reading on a Kindle Paperwhite, every other page had pretty major formatting issues and repeated lines. I’m not sure if this has been corrected in the final copy that was recently published.

My last aside, which is a bit of a nitpick, is that the voice was very millennial. An example of this is the verbiage of “momming so hard” used in each chapter. If millennials are the target audience, this may be great. I realize I’m somewhat in the minority as I’m becoming a parent now as a Gen Z-er/cusper (born ‘98) while my peers are waiting longer to have kids. However, I could see my peers reading this and having a similar smirk or eye roll at some of the distinctly millennial language.
Thank you for the advanced copy!

This is a book I will keep forever. I read it twice. Once quickly, and then again -- with a journal and pen to really dive deep through the prompts. It helped me understand where my feelings in motherhood were coming from and gave me knowledge to reframe those feelings to a positive light. Now I have a better understanding my needs and a plan to nurture myself for the betterment of me and my family. I will continue to reference this book again and again.

What is the thing you do that makes you feel most like YOURSELF? And/or, what is your favorite thing to do for “self-care”?

Thank you to Netgalley and Nelson Books for the eARC of Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself: 5 Steps to Banish Guilt and Beat Burnout When You Already Have Too Much to Do by Morgan Cutlip. All opinions are my own!

I love my fiction, and boy do I, but every once and a while I need to take look at my reality, and I’ll be the first to admit I am overall, overwhelmed! When I saw this book with the longest (and most perfectly descriptive) title on earth, I thought “I need to put down the romances in the AirPods for this one.” And I’m glad I did. Let me put it this way- I highlighted a WHOPPING 21% of this book, according to my Kindle. I really like the author, I LOVE her personal stories and her many, many mothering moments and feelings that I can relate to. I am fascinated by the research and books she mentioned- my favorite nugget of information being about John Gottman’s “stress-reducing conversation”. We hopefully all have friends that we can share our stressors with- no fixing, no solving, just empathy. I have been fortunate to have friends to do this with since I was a kid but I was yesterday years old when I was introduced to its name.

In this book there are tips on how WE can stay regulated, so many questions we can ask ourselves like “what kind of parent did you expect yourself to be?”, “do you think your child’s behavior is a direct reflection of your value and competency as a mother?”, explanations for why we are so exhausted by the end of the night (other than the obvious) and REAL things we can do to help ourselves besides the often mentioned and elusive “SELF CARE”. What we are taught are strategies that can take minutes, and can be ongoing, unlike a “getaway” where you come back to the same old thing. Mothers are told to take care of ourselves and I think this book gives us ways to do that, plus they are free and shouldn’t take long to put into practice.

My only complaint about the book, and this may be my burned-out brain talking, is that I found the five steps confusing. Their names don’t have a clear tie-in to what they represent IMO. If I left this book with them easily memorized, I would rate it higher. I do want to shut the book and move on to my fabulously found self, but it is not a one-and-done, and I will be referencing it often.

My other complaint, and it is not about the book itself, is that I think I got the eARC very early and therefore didn’t have access to the PDFs as I went. I couldn’t print out the questions at the end of the book and I would have liked to. I think there may have been charts I couldn’t see? I NEED all these things and am trying to figure out if I should buy the hardcover or the ebook (both which will come with the PDFs). What I would like most of all is a paperback combo book/ workbook that I can write in. Giving me this free ebook is resulting in me buying it, so I’d say this is a positive review! I recommend this book for mothers or caretakers to read, even before the burnout, guilt and full schedule shows up.

4/5 stars

I have mixed feelings about this book and that's mostly due to my own lack of up-front research.

While I took a lot from this book in terms of parenting and lessons learned, what I didn't like about this book were its roots in Christian principles and messaging. Maybe I should have done more research prior to reading this book so I was aware of that, and wouldn't read it, but being an atheist, the religious components of this novel really took me out of the lessons.

I am sure that this book is helpful for others, but it didn't work for me.

As a working mother of two, I knew I needed to pick up this book. Having a child (and then adding another!) is a huge life adjustment and obviously, a mother's entire world/sense of self changes and it is a relearning process for almost everything in your life.

The author, Morgan Cutlip, did a wonderful job at providing practical strategies to work into daily life. One key takeaway is to "mother yourself like you mother your kids". This is such a good quote! We want the best for our kids and we need to remember to want the best for ourselves, too. She mentions her own experiences as a mom which makes this book feel relateable.

Docking one star because I wish there was more revelational content within the chapters of the book. I felt the best material came from the discussion questions at the end of the book. I think I would have been more engaged in the book had the discussion questions followed each chapter.

Thank you NetGalley & Nelson Books for the opportunity to read to this ARC!

What a wonderful book! This one truly straddles the line or being good but not TOO niche, consoling but not preachy, hard but not Rachel Hollis.

I liked this one. I have four young kids, can’t figure out how to find ME again, and this book really helped some perspective shifts happen in our home. Our kids definitely don’t need us as much as we think, they are allowed to be bored, and fostering myself as my own being actually makes them better, who would have thought!?

So grateful for Cutlip and the team that made this book happen. A must for any working parent, parent of more than one kid, or someone just wanting to DO better and BE better for the children in their lives. A big round of applause, and four solid stars. I’ll be gifting this to so many mom friends when it comes out!

Thank you, NetGalley, for the advance copy!

I feel like this book was written 100% for me and as hard as that is to admit (it gets into a lot of deep topics) it's also a reassuring moment for me as a mother. I will be recommending this book and writing about it on my blog - so many take aways and I'm sure as it sinks in over the next few weeks I'll get even more as it trickles through my experiences with my family.

I think I like to think that I haven't lost myself, and I know I've done a lot of GOOD work to 'find' myself after kids (or during kids because they're still around!). And then a book like this helps to me to see how I"m still minimizing myself at times and how that's ultimately not helpful for anyone, myself or my kids.

10/10 - bravo!

As a stay at home mom of two under two, my kids are my whole world, quite literally I am with them 24/7 and I wouldn't change it any other way. I love finding parenting books that expand my thinking and really help me cherish the moments I have but also learn how to not only manage my time but my emotions.

This book has such a refreshing take on motherhood & really helped me look at how I can move on through each stage of motherhood, while still loving every moment.

I really enjoyed this book as a Mom and I feel like so many parents could relate as well. Thank you so much to NetGalley and the publisher allowing me a copy of this to read.

Dr. Morgan Cutlip delivers on all her promises in this book. She gives you solid, indisputable reasons to shed your mom guilt, and strategies you can implement immediately for beating mom burnout. I am a mom of 3 kids and was elated to easily and successfully use a strategy on myself when I had only made it halfway through the book at the time of using the strategy. This is a straightforward, easily digested book that you can read in bite-sized pieces or in large chunks at once, and good reference to come back to for quick reminders. It left me feeling hopeful instead of resentful or more beaten down. This is a good book for any and all moms – it is THAT accessible and timely.

Such an important book for all moms to read! I often find myself feeling guilty for resting while I'm sick, working late, wanting to have a girl's night out. This book reads like the wise friend we all need to remind us to put on our own oxygen mask first, that to be an amazing mom, you also need to be your amazing self.

“De-selfing means that one’s self, including ones’ thoughts, wants, beliefs, and ambitions, is ‘negotiable’ under pressures from the relationship. In other words, when women feel their relationships will suffer if they prioritize themselves, they sacrifice their own needs, desires, and wants to preserve the well-being of the relationship.”
Sound familiar, ladies?
Psychotherapist and relationship expert Dr. Morgan has written a book that addresses the conflict between their needs (our children and family) and our needs (who me?) that can prevent the overwhelm, burnout that many of us have felt for so long (I’m looking at you, COVID). What I love about this book is all that it encompasses; attachment styles, our own personal history, guilt, intensive mothering, that impact our overall experience of motherhood. I highlighted so much.
Add it to the stack. Thank you for the ARC NetGalley and Thomas Nelson!

This book hits home! I walked into my step-sons life when he was 7 and quickly took on the mom role when he is at our house. I LOVE him, but parenting is hard sometimes (okay 99% of the time).

Cutlip did a wonderful job at providing practical strategies that would / could be easy to put into your every day life. She also writes in such a way that although a professional in the field, does not downplay feelings that many moms may feel. She draws upon her experiences as a mother which made her so relatable. I feel totally seen & validated.

I loved every second of this! Especially the “go mom yourself” sections at the end of every chapter. Knowing I can just turn to that page quickly and get a good recap is wonderful! I’m positive I will reread this again, especially down the road when more kiddos join our family.

I will leave this here.. Cutlip wrote, “mother yourself like you mother your kids” and I know I will think about this quote in the days & weeks that follow!

Thank you NetGalley & Nelson Books for the opportunity to read to this ARC!

Thank you Netgalley for giving me the opportunity to read this book. I couldn't finish it because it couldn't keep my attention. That could be for many reasons,I will try again soon. It just couldn't keep my attention.

This is one of the best, if not the best, parenting book I have read in the past year. I intend to purchase this book in physical form as soon as I am able.

I am an educator, with education in child development, who has longed for children of “my own” for over a decade. Through a combination of adoption and IVF I have two children, and I have absolutely lost myself in the last four years.

I’ve needed and wanted a roadmap for years. Reading this book felt like she was talking to me directly, like she’d lived the life I was living and she knew the way through the tunnel and out of the other side.

I was worried her book would not be aimed at someone like me because of her Christian roots. But, while she clearly draws many of the positive principles of Christianity that are universal to everyone, it was not a Christian book, and it was not mentioned at all, except in passing. So if you are a secular reader, you will absolutely find it relevant.

In fact, none of this work was judgemental or pushy, or ever made me feel shame. I found myself relaxing into it, and buying into each idea that she proposed.

I needed help with the worksheets and she was immediately responsive (within 24 hours) and provided me with them.

I received this work from Net Galley, but I will absolutely be purchasing it in the future.

Just finished "Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself" and this book hits home! It's a refreshing take on motherhood – the author completely normalizes the struggles, even when she's an expert in the field. It's like she's saying all the things I've been needing to hear.
Motherhood can be a real pressure cooker and this book dives right into that and reminds us that the pursuit of perfection is a wild goose chase. The best part is that the author backs it up with solid statistics and studies, so it's not just one person's opinion.
This book is like a reassuring hand on your shoulder, letting you know you're not alone in this journey. And what's even better, it's not just theory – there's practical advice that's easy to weave into your daily routine. Trust me, if you're looking for a gem of a book that helps you keep your sense of self while being an amazing mom, this is it!

I haven't read a book like this yet because I keep wanting to read fiction, & I'm worried about getting bored or feeling like I wasted time. I don't feel that way with this book. It says things that I need to hear. Modern American motherhood is full of the pressure to be perfect, as if that even exists! The author provides statistics & studies so it doesn't just feel like an opinion piece. It's succinct & tells us we are not as alone as we feel. It even contains practical advice that's easy to implement into our daily lives

I tend to approach all parenting books with a soupçon of skepticism; I find that nothing about parenting is one-size-fits-all and sometimes parenting books don't account for the wide spectrum of varying circumstances that parents are living with. So I was pleasantly surprised when Morgan Cutlip's Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself not only acknowledged but repeatedly mentioned that every parent is fighting a different battle.

I appreciated the way the author breaks down the actionable steps you can take to approach parenting in a more peaceful way. I think part of me was hoping for a quick fix "oh, I just do XYZ and I'll feel more like myself again!" Obviously, that's not realistic, but I will take away a lot of lessons about how do easy and quick check-ins with myself to figure out what needs to change in the moment to adjust my approach to parenting and give myself some space to breathe.

4.5 stars rounded up. Some of the advice may not be applicable to all parents (as a single parent with sole custody, some sections weren't relevant to me), but like I say, the author does acknowledge it and tries to address it to the best of her ability from her own (albeit different) experience. Thanks to NetGalley and Nelson Books for the ARC.

Excellent book on not losing yourself in motherhood. I will have this on my shelf and recommend it to mothers who will benefit from it.

As a single mom to a sweet boy, I struggle with finding "me" time. This book is so practical and insightful. I love the way it was written and seems easy to put the concepts in to practice. I will be telling all my mom friends about this one!