This was such an important story. Marian is an excellent storyteller. I'd never heard of her or her essay before, but I'm always intrigued by narratives of women being diagnosed with autism since it is widely undiagnosed. She did an amazing job of making me invested in her journey to diagnosis. It felt painfully relatable at times, and by the end you can't help but root for her.

I think this was incredibly powerful and I hope it feels autistic women feel seen and empowered.

Marian Schembari recounts her life as a child, teenager, and adult struggling with undiagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorder. Schembari received an official diagnosis in adulthood, but the journey to that point was not an easy one. From being bullied, to moving across the world, to struggling to maintain a job, Schembari dives into her life and openly invites the reader in to give us her experience as an adult diagnosed with autism.

Thank you Marian Schembari and Macmillan Audio for the audiobook version of this ARC. All thoughts and opinions expressed here are mine and mine alone.

This was probably a difficult story to tell, but Schembari tells it in such a way as to leave the reader with knowledge of someone’s experience in a world catered to neurotypical individuals. I find real-life accounts, such as this one, so valuable for readers. It shows a difference of how people are raised and shows how everyone struggles, but some people struggle more because of the expectations placed on us as humans, and specifically on girls and women.

I really loved that the author narrated her own memoir. I always appreciate it when an author is able to narrate, and this book was no exception. It makes the story so much more raw and real and like the author is telling the reader her story in person. I highly recommend the audiobook.

5 stars

First, I want to acknowledge that I'm writing this review as a neurotypical individual who teaches at an institution with a robust, respected program for autistic students. While I cannot empathize with Schembari's story, I made nonstop connections to the experiences I've heard from many of my students, and I deeply sympathized with many of the instances relayed here.

Schembari reveals her lifelong experiences throughout this gripping text, and her title is a great place to look for the punchline. The endgame is not a full resolution but a better understanding and explanation of her experiences and why she is the way she is, especially in relation to others. Schembari talks in depth about the way she encounters the world and how her perspective seems to differ so much from what she perceives to be typical of others. There are relationship challenges, social struggles, and everyday concerns including everything from itchy tags to constant threats of overstimulation and insensitivity. Schembari successfully takes readers right into these experiences, revealing the full sensations and scope of emotions and outcomes. These scenes can feel overwhelming to read, which makes readers even more attuned to how difficult they must be to live.

I listened to the audiobook, and I cannot recommend this version enough when and where accessible. Hearing Schembari tell her own story adds to the obvious authenticity of her work and experiences. My hope is that we'll hear more from this author, whether the focus is on her or on the motif in general.

I haven’t related this much to a book in a while. I’ve been thinking for a while about wanting to seek a formal autism diagnosis and then feeling silly like, what would a formal diagnosis even do anyway since I perform well and overachieve at work, but I think the authors story told me the why through her storytelling about her journey of late diagnosis.

Thank you so much to Macmillan audio for my gifted audiobook and eARC in exchange for my honest review!