PLEASE someone tell me why I waited so long to read an MFM romance because WOW. This book was spicy, addictive, and had me in a chokehold for two days straight (yes, during exam season).

If you love:
🔥 why choose (MFM)
🏠 roommates-to-lovers tension
💔 messy family drama + pageant queen past
😏 sweet boyfriend x confident jerk dynamic
…then How We Are by Poppy Minnix will not disappoint.

Jolene is a former pageant queen with a controlling mom and plenty of baggage, finally breaking free to chase her own life in Chicago. She’s determined to make things work with her soulmate Darius, the sweet and steady boyfriend who’s been waiting for her. But then there’s Arlo—Darius’s best friend and moody, hot roommate—who complicates everything in the best way possible.

The dynamic between these three?? OBSESSED. Darius is the caring, reliable one, while Arlo is the confident jerk who grows on you until suddenly you can’t get enough of him. And Jolene—caught between what’s expected of her and what she truly wants—was such a fun heroine to follow.

The writing was smooth, the pacing was perfect (no rushing here), and it was such an easy binge read. My only tiny wish? That Darius had a little more personality outside of being “the boyfriend,” and Jolene leaned more into her sass. But honestly, this book delivered exactly what I needed: high spice, addictive tension, and just enough plot to keep me hooked.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 — bold, sexy, and unputdownable. If you’re craving spice with a side of feels, this is it.

will be posted on goodreads today

Thanks for the ARC

Well this book was great, and i can not wait for the next book.

I loved how the dynamic between these people developed, and how you could see them slowly change.
They were so good togther and very sweet.

While I think Darius was very sweet, he was a little bland by himself for me, but when with the others he was great, I would have loved to see more persanality from him.

Arlo strated out as a jerk, but he grew on my as the book got going

Jolene was a total sweetheart with a sassy streak, and she was great, I would wish for a bit more of her sass, but she was my absolut favorit

SO GOOD! Loved every moment of this book. The character developments and growth were so heartwarming and the spice was top notch!

Definitely worth a read! First in the series and for sure sets up an amazing story line for rest of the books. I love that it’s a why choose love triangle and especially the bad boy with a soft spot. The characters development and growth is spot on for a new adult ménage story. 5/5 🌶️ 10/10 ⭐️

I thought it was interesting, just wish the drama with the mother might've been fleshed out a bit more :)

This was such a a cute and fast read!!! I finished it in 3 nights before bed. I was half way done on night 1!!! Don't get me wrong the book was super spicy, think 5/5 on the spice scale. It started with and already established relationship between Jolene and Darius and a strong friendship between Darius and Arlo and ended with 3 perfect matches. My only complaint was the ended felt a bit rushed and unfinished, but I get it a book can't go on forever no matter how much we want it to. I will definitely be on the lookout for the next book in the series.

3.5 ⭐️/5 rounded up

Love the spice. It was a fun read. Love Arlo - he is definitely my favorite. Am I jealous of Jolene? Absolutely.

Good if you are in the mood for a ln extra spicy romance that isn’t too plot heavy.

Thank you NetGalley for providing an ARC for
My honest review

Oh wow, I absolutely devoured this one. Watching all 3 of the main characters grow into themselves throughout this book was heartwarming and seeing their pain from their own perspective whilst watching the others do their upmost best to fix it was tough to read but beautifully done. I really can’t wait to see where this series goes next!

this is such a strong and well crafted novel on meeting only your own expectations and how to be your own self in a world that shoves so much expectations upon you. who to listen to. who has your best interests at heart. and what is love to us all as individuals?
this is the story and a snippet in the life of Jolene who has spent her life being told what to be by her mother. and that sadly has been a role as a pageant queen. she wants away from that place and life and has finally done just that. shes now in Chicago and with the men shes wanted to get to, Darius. oh and there also now happens to be another man in her sights and fizzles, HIS best friend Arlo.
then she finds out these two have actually shared woman before. and the question lingers. things are brought up to the surface and start to fizzle more and more until the three explore more together.
i thought this book was written so well. it didn't some forced or pushing something icky. it was a story of this young woman and we were just here to witness it. not judge. just listen.
and through it all i just rooted for a MFC because you want the best for her and want her to try keep being free to find out what that is. which isn't easy when once again her mother ramps up scheming to get her back to the life she wants to push onto her shoulders. or should i say the crown on her head.
these three were a joy to read about. they all had their own stuff going on and watching their relations and interactions,often grow into something deeper was really cleverly done. you truly see how these three come along in the book and whats going on for them.
you root for them all.
and i was quickly turning more and more pages through this book until id found myself at the end!
a great read.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

How We Are is a sizzling, emotional, and unapologetically steamy MFM romance that keeps you turning pages from start to finish. Poppy Minnix nails the tension between past love and irresistible temptation, creating a story that’s equal parts heartfelt and hot.

The heroine’s journey—from chasing her dreams to navigating intense feelings for two men—is both relatable and thrilling. Darius and Arlo are perfectly drawn contrasts, each offering charm, challenge, and undeniable chemistry, making the love triangle electric without ever feeling forced.

What sets this story apart is the combination of high spice and emotional depth. Minnix doesn’t shy away from exploring complicated desires, jealousy, and self-discovery, giving the romance a richness that lingers long after the last page. For readers who love soulmate reunions, roommates-to-lovers tension, and stories where love isn’t simple but entirely irresistible, How We Are is a must-read.

This book was one hell of a good time. Arlo was such a fun character to read. The storyline flowed here, and the Author has a writing style that keeps the spice spicy and held my interest. Would recommend if you are looking for a quick paced fun time.
I love the discreet cover for this book, it’s just stunning!

This was a fun romp, excuse the pun. It was an interesting look at the burgeoning poly dynamic.

I wish we could’ve known Darius a little better, but lets be honest, Arlo is the star and i love the journey we see him go on

A fun read with great spice!

Jolene is a retired pageant, who just moved out to Chicago with her boyfriend of six years, Darius, to an apartment he shares with Arlo, his long time friend, a hacker who loves to steps of peoples boundaries.
Tension arises when Arlo starts lusting after Jolene.

This was such an easy read, I devoured this book in 2 days.
The characters were very likeable even with their faults, and they communicated, something hard to see in some romance books. Truly refreshing to see.


I really liked how the author names each chapter, really tired of other why chooses where they just put the name of the character, seems lazy too me, these chapters started with the name plus an action related to the chapter. I thought it was pretty unique.
Example: Jolene Fails, Darius heals, Arlo questions.

The spice, 4/5 is there anything sexier than consent? Love me some characters that are mature enough to talk about what they want instead of just taking it. Big fan of D piercings also.

Things I disliked, some tropes that are overdone in romance, like male character using random girl to get fmc jealous and then discarding her