The Toddler Survival Guide
Complete Protection from the Whiny Unfed
by Mike Spohr; Heather Spohr
This title was previously available on NetGalley and is now archived.
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Pub Date Aug 01 2017 | Archive Date Dec 07 2017
Voyageur Press, an imprint of Quarto Group | Voyageur Press
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Description
Get the baby gates, lock the cupboards, and load up Elmo's Song, toddlers are on the loose. The Toddler Survival Guide is here to get you to the other side.
Toddlers and zombies both communicate mainly through groans, clumsily trail after you everywhere you go (especially into the bathroom in the toddler's case), and--upon entering your life--leave you frazzled, on edge, and deeply sleep deprived.
The Toddler Survival Guide is a hilarious parody of Max Brooks's The Zombie Survival Guide (and survival guides in general) that will leave parents laughing out loud even as it provides practical advice on how they can make it to the other side of toddlerhood intact. Written by parents who have studied toddlers up-close in their natural habitat, the book will cover survival skills including how you can outfit your home to outlast a toddler occupation (baby gate, cabinet locks, wine), how you can subdue an angry toddler ("Elmo's Song," mac and cheese, smartphone) and even how you can safely venture out in public together without your toddler--or you--bursting into tears.
Chapters include: Preparing the Home for a Toddler Invasion, Communicating with Your Toddler, Feeding a Toddler, Socializing Your Toddler, Grooming Your Toddler, Venturing into Public with a Toddler, Documenting Your Life with a Toddler, Vacationing with a Toddler, Toddler Entertainment and Birthdays, Surviving Bedtime and Potty Training, Technology and the Toddler, and Parental Self-Preservation.
A Note From the Publisher
Authors are available for interviews, blog tours, autographed tours, autographed book giveaways, contests, and book club discussions.
Advance Praise
“The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Whiny Unfed — is a guide for parents on how to make it to the other side of toddlerhood in one piece.” - BuzzFeed
“The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Whiny Unfed — is a guide for parents on how to make it to the other side of toddlerhood in one piece.” - BuzzFeed
Marketing Plan
About the Authors:
Mike is the founding editor of BuzzFeed Parents and Heather writes the popular family/lifestyle blog, The Spohrs Are Multiplying. They live in Los Angeles where they fought the toddler wars with their kids, Annabel and James.
Available Editions
| EDITION | Other Format |
| ISBN | 9780760352199 |
| PRICE | $17.99 (USD) |
| PAGES | 192 |
Featured Reviews
Sarah N, Reviewer
This is a hilarious zombie survival guide parody! As a mom of two, I can relate to so many things in this book! This is a great, funny read for when your little angels are acting more like little devils!
Katie P, Reviewer
Appropriately short for frazzled, worn out parents of toddlers, The Toddler Survival Guide is laugh-out-loud funny. Any parent with a (or multiple--yikes!) toddler(s) will find themselves nodding and laughing along with all of the statements the Spohrs make.
The book walks you through the top tips of eating, bedtime, teeth brushing, potty training, tantrums, and more. I didn't find that it gave any awesome, never before thought of tips. Most of us parents have already blundered through enough of the toddler months that we know most of these instinctually. However, this is less about being a "how to" and all about how to come out the other end of the Toddler Apocalypse with some of our humor intact knowing that we are not alone. (No, really I needed to know that it was normal to have a toddler consistently remove their diaper and still refuse to sit on the potty. Y'all. The struggle is absolutely real.)
Thank you to NetGalley, the Spohrs, and Voyageur Press for the free ARC in exchange for an honest review.
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