On Being an Introvert or Highly Sensitive Person

A guide to boundaries, joy, and meaning

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Pub Date 21 Feb 2018 | Archive Date 21 Feb 2018

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Description

In a culture that ranks sociability and extroversion above the introverted traits of deep thinking and being alone, Ilse Sand shows how to find joy and meaning as an introvert or highly sensitive person. She debates whether these traits are caused by nature or nurture, and shows how someone like this can organise their life to keep them content. What she says is appropriate for people who are temporarily, or for some other reason, in a sensitive situation - for example, because of stress, trauma or burn-out.

It describes the introverted personality type and the highly sensitive trait, highlighting the strengths that come with it such as good listening skills and rich imagination, and suggests ways to overcome the negatives such as the need to avoid overstimulation and over-critical thinking.

Including advice from other introverts or highly sensitive people, and two self-tests for sensitive and introverted traits, this book provides a deeper understanding of introversion and high sensitivity and gives those with these personality types greater faith and courage in their own talents.

In a culture that ranks sociability and extroversion above the introverted traits of deep thinking and being alone, Ilse Sand shows how to find joy and meaning as an introvert or highly sensitive...


Available Editions

EDITION Other Format
ISBN 9781785924859
PRICE $14.95 (USD)
PAGES 128

Average rating from 16 members


Featured Reviews

On Being an Introvert or Highly Sensitive Person should have had me saying, “Me, too!” on every page. I was really excited to learn some cool new things to celebrate about being an introvert. I haven’t read any books about sensitivity so was hoping for plenty of lightbulb moments. Unfortunately I was disappointed. I felt this book read more as an introduction to introversion and sensitivity rather than an in depth study on either topic.

I expect that if you haven’t read anything about being an introvert you would gain new insights. However I’ve recently read Jenn Granneman’s The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World and Debbie Tung’s graphic novel Quiet Girl in a Noisy World: An Introvert's Story, and I personally found these previous reads more enlightening and uplifting.

Ilse Sand developed two tests for this book to use as a guide for where you sit on the introvert/extrovert scale and how sensitive you are. By testing myself I wound up with a score of +56 on the introvert/extrovert scale, where +64 is as introverted as you can get, -64 is as extroverted as you can get and around 0 means you’re ambivert (a new word for me). The sensitivity scale is much the same, except +40 is highly sensitive, 0 is moderately sensitive and -40 is ordinarily sensitive. My score for this one was +29. I’m not as introverted or as sensitive as it’s humanly possible to be but I’m right up there so while I think that should’ve converted to a “Me, too!” extravaganza while reading this book, I just didn’t feel it.

There’s nothing that wrong with this book but I lacked a connection with the writing style, which may be due to it having been translated from Danish for this edition. I found some of the sentences and phrasing clunky and there were some instances where I felt the writing could have benefited from another sentence between thoughts to connect them more cohesively.

There were a few parts I found cringeworthy, especially those where it read as though introversion is an excuse to sit on the bench of life rather than it being something to be celebrated. I doubt very much that this was the author’s intention so it may again come down to something being lost in the translation.

I quite enjoyed the information explaining Carl Jung’s work distinguishing personality types, Elaine Aron’s research into the highly sensitive character trait and Jerome Kagan’s studies into high-reactive children.

The author made good use of personal anecdotes and quotes from her work as a parish pastor and psychotherapist. I wondered why it was necessary for some examples to be fictionalised and others used anonymously as there weren’t any skeleton in the closet revelations.

Some readers may baulk at reading this book knowing it was written by an author who has worked as a pastor but I didn’t find it preachy. The examples that included the author’s church were primarily used to explore the differences between the introverted author and the church’s previous extroverted pastor. The serenity prayer was included, as was a reference to making something an idol in your life.

I encountered one of my pet peeves in this book on three occasions that I can recall, where the author tells you that you really need to know something and then rather than telling you this life changing piece of information, they refer you to one of their other books. Personally when someone does that I deliberately avoid the book they’re plugging but that could just be my stubborn showing. If you write a book well then I’ll seek out your other books myself, but if you tease me with the possibility of insight and then rip it away unless I buy another of your books, then I tend to search for that information elsewhere.

The author’s foray into mental health conditions towards the end of the book seemed to come out of left field and as someone who’s experienced PTSD I found the following sentences a tad weird coming from a psychotherapist, “If you are extremely afraid, for example of the anger of others, you should be aware that you may have PTSD. If you do not remember it, ask your parents whether you were subjected to violence when you were a child.” (82%) People, just because you have fear doesn’t mean you have PTSD but if you do think you may have PTSD please seek help from a medical professional!

Please note that this quote is from the ARC and may change prior to the publication date.

I received a copy of this book from NetGalley (thank you so much to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the opportunity) in exchange for honest feedback.

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I'll preface this by saying that I am not a self-help reader. Until coming across this book, I have never knowingly chosen to read any type of self-help guide. I'm completely unfamiliar with the genre and its conventions, so I can't comment on the ways in which this book fits into or deviates from the usual things readers of this genre might expect. This is a practical, advice-heavy volume, and as such it's definitely a bit dry. The author self-identifies as both an introvert and an HSP, and so she is able to offer brief glimpses into her own life (many of which are quite interesting—she briefly discusses living in a commune with her young children) in order to illustrate her points, but doesn't go into much detail or dwell on personal anecdotes. At times I found the advice overly prescriptive (with a few broad, blanket statements that made me bristle a little), but more frequently it is presented in a soft, gentle manner (as is appropriate, given the sorts of readers who are likely to be drawn to this book). It was a helpful read for me, as a lifelong introvert and likely HSP. I would also recommend it to parents, close friends, and partners of introverts and/or HSPs, who would certainly benefit from a deeper understanding of the needs and sensitivities of their loved ones.

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Excellent! Easy to read,informative.

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I would recommend this book for anyone who is being introduced to personality typing. The author provides personal details, which help greatly in defining introvert behaviors and HSP behaviors. I enjoy reading self help books and applying methods to my own life; I found that this book was too basic for the research that I've already done. For anyone who is just beginning to explore self-help, this book is organized well, provides concrete and real life examples, and is helpful with self testing.

This book rates a solid 3 because of the organization and recommendations. It's going to be too basic for most readers.

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A useful little manual for introverts/HSP living in an increasingly loud, extroverted world. There are some good tips not only for how to take care of yourself, but also how to let others around you know what you need and how to communicate better with other personality types.

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As both an introvert and highly sensitive person, living surrounded by extroverts, this book appealed to me from the off.
An easy to read guide, full of tips like how to look after yourself and how essential communicating with others is. Provides in depth explanations of introverts and hsp personalities, this book was a nice easy read, written by an author who can relate.
Thank you to the author, publisher and Netgalley for allowing me to read this book.

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As a self-identified introvert, I was excited to have the opportunity to read an advanced copy of this book. I have lately been on a journey of self-discovery, and what better book to read than one with "Introvert" right there in the title? Throughout the book, Sand does an excellent job validating the feelings, emotions, and thought processes of an introvert. On several occassions I found myself nodding in agreement, "Yes, that's definitely me!".

As I got further into the book, however, it began to read as more of a college thesis of sorts than as a novel. The book rapidly became a review of the research done by Carl Jung, Elaine Aron, and Jerome Kagan. The author compares and contrasts the theories of each, explains how they overlaps, and offers personal opinions where appropriate.

I was turned off by the author's use of scattered first person pronouns, often referring to personal thought and experience, such as "Personally, I can easily recognize what characterises Japan's high-reactive personality types in myself." (Sands)

The writing style felt very amateur to me, reminding me of the dreaded peer reviews I was forced to endure in college. I was more than surprised when Sands referred to a previously published book.

Overall, Sands "On Being an Introvert or Highly Sensitive Person" was very factually based, and would be an excellent reference for someone doing research on the topic, or for someone looking to get a better understanding of the introvert in their life; however, as a leisurely read for someone interested in personal development or self discovery, such as myself, I would not recommend this book.

*Disclaimer: An advanced reader copy of this book was granted to me by Jessica Kingsley Publishers at no cost, in exchange for my review. All thoughts and opinions written are unbiased, and reflect my honest thoughts and opinions.

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As an introvert myself, I thought a book dedicated the study of introversion would be both fascinating and helpful in life. And, initially, that is just what this was. This discoursed on the struggles introverts face, as well as society's bias towards extroverted activities and individuals. The scale of introversion was discussed and small quizzes helped the reader to find their place on this chart. This was also peppered with snippets from other self-proclaimed introverts lives, which made this relatable and facts surrounding them feel less daunting.

My issue was with how the author proposed you could 'tackle' your introversion and the hacks that could be improvised to make every-day life less of an anxiety-riddled muddle. For example, the idea of cutting off those who approach me with a simple 'I don't want to talk' filled me with a fear of dread rather than providing a way to avoid unwanted interaction. This may be okay, in theory, when approached by strangers but I could not imagine speaking to friends, family, or colleagues in this manner.

Another example was when the reader proposed a brisk walk to help clear a muddled mind. This, I completely agree with and already find a relaxing escape from my own mind. What I didn't appreciate was the author's suggestion for the reader to find a secluded spot to perform this, and recounted times she had been interrupted in her reverie by strangers asking if she was okay due to the pensive expression on her face. Annoyance was expressed by this intrusion rather than gratitude at this kindness.

I completely understand the author's intentions with these and how it depicted how skewed society is in favour of extroversion. I also understand the point of these is not to offend but to convince the reader that saying no can be a guilt-free experience. I do, however, believe there could be kinder ways to do so and could never imagine myself enacting these proposed suggestions.

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An interesting look into what it is like to be an introvert and highly sensitive person. Ilse provides real-life examples throughout, adding even more of a personal touch to this literary work.

As an introvert myself, I found this book rather intriguing, and it describes the life and feelings of an introvert effectively.

I definitely recommend this for fans of Quiet by Susan Cain, and to those who want to delve into the minds of introverts (and to a certain extent extroverts), a little more.

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While reading this book I found a lot of spots where I was able to find myself. I am extremely introverted and it is nice reading a book where that is an "acceptable" thing to be and being able to kind of find an acceptance for feeling that way.

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The kind of book I've been waiting to come across for years! This book has absolutely nailed every bits and bobs about an introvert and as an Introvert myself, this is currently helping me to deal with what I'm going through. In this huge wide world where everyone tends to view an Introvert as something of a sore eye, this book is the best companion I could ever have had as it understands me better than anybody could have. Thank you for writing this!

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