Becoming Okay (When You're Not Okay)

A Step-by-Step Guide to Decrease Suffering and Develop Acceptance

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Pub Date 03 Jul 2018 | Archive Date 20 Nov 2018
BCS | Independent Book Publishers Association (IBPA), Members' Titles

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Description

Pain is often part of living; yet, humans naturally resist pain and – in the process of resisting – create more pain.  In contrast, acceptance means approaching the pain of living in a way that lessens its control and ability to produce suffering.  Acceptance softens our struggle with pain and increases our ability to live fully. Acceptance helps us “become okay” – even when we really, really aren’t okay!

While many self-help books emphasize the importance of acceptance, how is it developed? Psychologist, Bryan Bushman, provides a step-by-step roadmap for anyone interested in learning how to transcend emotional or physical pain. Combining the best of both eastern- and western-insights with the latest neuropsychological research, Dr. Bushman provides several, easy-to-remember steps that summarize information so people can live richer, more-balanced lives.
 
Universal in its application, there is something here for everyone. Whether you experience depression, anxiety, chronic illness, emotional trauma, relationship problems, or addictive behaviors, pain doesn’t have to define you. Using playful humor and powerful case examples, Becoming Okay (When You’re Not Okay) provides readers with scientifically-grounded, yet soul-expanding, exercises and insights. You can build a life of vitality and action – even while experiencing some of life’s greatest trials.

Pain is often part of living; yet, humans naturally resist pain and – in the process of resisting – create more pain. In contrast, acceptance means approaching the pain of living in a way that...


A Note From the Publisher

Available on Kindle for $6.99.

Available on Kindle for $6.99.


Advance Praise

From Kirkus Book Reviews :

“A comprehensive breakdown of the ways in which people subvert and sabotage their own happiness.... The author packs a great deal of complicated information into his pages, and he delivers all of it with the smooth skill of an expert teacher. He also includes many illustrations, including graphs and charts designed to convey multiple steps at a glance; particularly helpful aids crop up during his discussions of brain chemistry.  A powerfully detailed method of dealing with life’s pains and injustices.”

To read the full review, click the Kirkus Review link at the bottom.

Reviews can also be placed on Good Reads, Book Bub and Publisher's Weekly (links below).

From Kirkus Book Reviews :

“A comprehensive breakdown of the ways in which people subvert and sabotage their own happiness.... The author packs a great deal of complicated information into his pages...


Available Editions

EDITION Paperback
ISBN 9780692078259
PRICE $14.95 (USD)

Average rating from 6 members


Featured Reviews

We can't avoid pain, but we can learn how not to turn our pain into suffering, and this book provides a clear path for doing so. Time and time again I have had friends, coaches, therapists, and healthcare providers tell me that I need to learn acceptance, but this is the first time I have ever had anyone provide specific, easy-to-understand steps I could follow to learn how to do that.

Dr. Bryan Bushman's approach incorporates aspects of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Buddhist philosophy, and neurobiology. There are several acronyms you'll need to learn to remember the steps of his approach. I found these a little overwhelming at first, but you can download worksheets from his website that will guide you through some of the exercises, and those worksheets really helped me in learning the process. Appendices, endnotes, and references are also provided for those who want to delve deeper.

Even though I have already read quite a bit in this subject area, I really liked how Dr. Bushman presented these ideas. He shares some great teaching stories and he uses some very helpful analogies. Some of the stories are also really funny--I loved the parable of being dead right, and that lesson is likely to stick with me. I also appreciate that the author tried to incorporte some diversity in his examples.

The one thing I would have liked to see different would be more examples of people dealing with physical pain and chronic illness. I understand that the same approach applies, but it would have been nice to see a couple examples as opposed to all of the focus on emotional pain.

I wasn't familiar with Dr. Bushman's work prior to reading this book, but he does such a fine job establishing trust and rapport with the reader, partway through the book, I realized that I'd be happy to sit and discuss these ideas with him over a beverage. I think most people could understand and benefit from this book, and I highly recommend it.

I was provided an ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review. Because I have not seen the final published version, I cannot comment on the final editing and formatting. The issues I noticed in the ARC were sufficiently minor and infrequent enough that I doubt they would interfere with most readers' enjoyment of the book.

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I got this book through a 'give a review and get a free book' deal. I am so happy I picked this book out of the choices. It is amazing! Bryan Bushman has such a great mix of theory, religion, psychology, and sociology. This is put in to a very common sense, easy to read format. I am a chaplain and this was perfect for my profession but for personal application. The main topic is how people can take pain (most of which are not their own fault like divorce or chronic illness) and make things worse through impulsive actions. It is a great book guiding to make the best out of a bad circumstance. I would like to add for my religious counterparts, he has a Buddhist undertone but is fully applicable to other faiths. I am a Christian, more conservative than not, and I could full heartily agree with the concepts given. A+

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Becoming Okay (when you're not Okay) is an interesting book on how to deal with pain and suffering. I loved the detailed description of SIFT, TIRED and ACCEPT. I also loved the Rose metaphor that the author, Bryan Bushman, has used to explain suffering and pain. The extensive examples to describe situations and why people behaved so was an eye-opener. Becoming Okay (When you're not Okay) is also a book about self-love. It is okay to be not okay. It is okay to accept things the way they are, but at the same time, being aware of how it might affect us in the future. Once you are aware, you will work towards making your life better.

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