My Box of Chocolates: How my child with autism learned to read, write, and more

Very well written and i gained a lot of knowledge and information on reading this book,. Fantastiuc for other families who are going through this or think they might be.

You need to read this book for awareness of autism and disorders in general, right now

”My mama always said, life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” True! Like every other parent, I expected that my baby would grow up to be a typical child and everything would be just fine. “My Box of Chocolates” tells about the struggles and successes surrounding my daughter’s education starting from birth to high school graduation. The extraordinary nature of our journey prompted me to write about it, and I hope that our story will help to increase awareness about the condition of autism and the unique challenges it presents

Books like these are usually out of my comfort zone – I prefer fantasy, adventure and science fiction. I decided to read this book from NetGalley for a few reasons. Firstly, I have family with autism. Secondly, I am an aspiring speech-language therapist. And I can say that this book has taught me so much about helping my family, but especially about being a better speech language therapist.

All books on disorders and disabilities are important. All books on autism are important. But books written from the perspective of a Nigerian parent who just immigrated to America with her autistic daughter and two other kids to meet their husband/father.

Because this book covers Theresa’s life up until graduation, I will divide my review into the highlights from important life stages, mainly using quotes as what her mother has to say is so important.

Birth: a unique child
Despite Teresa’s good health, I noticed something about her that was different from my previous two children; she sometimes had difficulty falling asleep at night, and cried relentlessly for no apparent reason.

Theresa gave her mother and father sleepless nights – for many nights her mother worried about what was wrong with her child and where she had gone wrong as a mother. These guilt feelings are common.

She sang a beautiful song to her daughter to get her to sleep:
Oma vie-o (Baby is crying)
Oma vie-o
Mo reye ke-o (come and nurse her)
Mo reye ke-o
Oke share-o (before you leave)
Oke-share-o
Usoni? (did you hear?0
Usoni?

The diagnosis: age four
It was just a typical day for Theresa and her mother when they received the diagnosis of Theresa’s autism.

I straightened myself ad kept climbing. Like a musical refrain in my head, the words repeated: What would they need to tell me in person? Why is this different?...in addition to her hyperactivity, her language development was significantly delayed, and as a consequence, she had a limited means to communicate with people

Theresa threw tantrums and only walked on her tippy-toes. Theresa loved to watch the Tin-Man when the wizard of Oz came onto television – she would nonsensically sing along with his lyrics about having a real heart. Looking back, it is such a sad correlation. Theresa had a severe receptive and expressive language delay, and she could not express her feelings, just like the tin man felt he had no heart.

It’s so important to not only understand the individual with autism, but the feelings of his or her parents and siblings. Although I wished this book addressed the feelings of siblings more, it is a beautiful and heartfelt emotional roller-coaster of a child with autism’s life.
Also, as a speech therapist how unethically some doctors and therapists treated Theresa and her mother saddens me. Theresa was a statistic and not a person.

The preschool years
Theresa gets put into various preschools which aid her development. Her skills and social behaviour improve despite all the ups and downs. I wish that our schools and therapy rooms had the facilities of these American schools.

“As I watched, the children rotated through various play stations in the block-building centre, rearranging a variety of colorful blocks, attempting to build objects. The benefit of this centre is to give students the opportunity to interact with each other as they explore blocks together.

I really didn’t expect myself to be so enthralled my this book – it’s more than just the normal textbooks I’m used to. I enjoyed learning about the reward systems and speech therapy given.
When Theresa throws a tantrum in a MacDonalds without stopping, her mother receives no help from strangers. It is so sad to see the loneliness in a parent with has to help their autistic child. Whatever it was, I might have known if only she’d had the language to tell me

The primary school years
The root word of autism is “autos”, a word of Greek origin meaning “self”. The term autism came into being over a century ago and essentially means to be isolated within oneself, outside the realm of successful social interaction, When I think back, I realise the term used to identify Teresa’s struggles was aptly chosen.


In these chapters, the mother explains how proud she is of her other children trying their best to be patient and understanding of their little sister.

Teresa, despite some of her academic disabilities, displayed excellent penmanship: Teresa’s cursive handwriting was shown to many classrooms in the school to show the teacher and students what Teresa could do in penmanship. It’s all about celebrating the little things, isn’t it?

One of the saddest and most beautiful moments in the book is after Teresa’s mother explains the her anguish upon hearing of the death of her father in Nigeria. She came up to her mother:
”What’s wrong, mommy, what’s wrong?” she said, “Mommy doesn’t feel good.” I managed to respond. I simply kept on crying….she hugged me tighter and we hugged each other for a while in silence…it marked the first time that Teresa communicated using a phrase and a complete sentence in a meaningful context.

The later years: Successes, losses and bullying
Teresa is finally diagnosed with sensory integration disorder, a condition that often coincides with autism spectrum disorder. The diagnosis was a blessing to the family as they could now understand why she acted strangely in certain circumstances. The occupational therapist helped her with a sensory diet plan consisting of a variety of relaxed sensory activities. She also explains to her mother that they love deep pressure, such as tight belts, hats or lying underneath sofas or cushions.

The ostracization and bullying of children with special needs are of great concern to me, more so because my child was a victim of both.

Teresa’s treatment by other children was terrifying. The reactions of other parents was terrifying too – they often encouraged or ignored bullying. However, her brother often defended her and they all did what they could to help Teresa.

Great things happen, such as Teresa learning to ride a bike immediately after she gets onto a stranger’s bike

Delighted, Teresa would ride her new bike all day on weekends and on weekday evenings until she could barely see beyond her nose and the dark of the night forced her to quit. Teresa even wins a neighbourhood race!

Teresa is Teresa. She is who she was meant to be on this earth, and maybe that is just right for her, though it may not seem okay to those of us with a “normal” perception of human experience and culture.

The teen years
Teresa learns about pop culture and celebrities and becomes obsessed with them. Her language improves slowly but surely, despite what she goes through. She learns life skills in classes.
The most beautiful part of these chapters was when Teresa discovered her penchant for art and painting.

Whenever Tersa met someone for the first time, she made a point of asking the person his or her first, middle and last name; then she asked for the person’s birthday. The next time she saw the person, no matter how long since their first meeting, she would remember the person’s full name and birthday….

The saddest thing is, only the elderly responded to this teenage girl’s questioning. Everyone else ignored her.

Teresa’s mother helps to teach her to bath independently, and she graduates successfully.

Conclusion
May of 2009 was a very happy day for our family. On the day of graduation, Teresa dressed up professionally in a black pair of pants, and a yellow blouse…She enthusiastically donned her graduation gown before we entered our car for the ride to the graduation ceremony.


Where we end up may not be exactly where we wanted to go; there may not be a cure, results may not be perfect or even what we imagined, but sometimes what emerges may be better than what we envisaged.
This is a fantastic book for anyone who wants to understand more about autism. This book is a MUST for teachers, speech and occupational therapists and ANY parents, siblings or professionals working with a child who has autism.

I work in a school with children that have autism and have to say that this book was really eye-opening. I know of the struggles at school with my students, but the author painted a very honest picture of what life is like for the parents of these children and the struggles they face at home with teaching them. I highly recommend this book, as it is the most honest book about having a child with autism that I have read.

I found this a very interesting look at raising a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. It's very thorough in the whole journey that this family took, and I found it very inspiring.

Very powerful book that really puts your life into perspective and how we take the littlest things for granted and without a second thought. A compelling story of the challenges of autism which we have no idea of.