Perfectly Human

A Beautiful Book!! This story of Cerian and her family is amazing! I did not expect to feel so strongly about someone's pregnancy in which the child would be deformed and die at birth! But following the family's acceptance of the fetus as a perfect human being brings a new awareness of the journey the parents go through. Very thought provoking!

A beautifully written book on what it means to be human as seen through the eyes of a bereaved mother. I cried continually throughout this book and my heart felt connected to the author as I too, am a mother. The way Sarah continues to pray and trust God even with the inevitable death of her daughter looming in the future is utterly inspiring. Despite these incredibly difficult circumstances, the Williams family grows in their faith and understanding of God, death and humanity in this hard-to-put-down memoir.

This is such a powerful, heart-wrenching book to read! I cried, I smiled, I cried some more.... As a mom, my mind doesn't want to get too close to thinking about how difficult this experience was for the entire family. They are an excellent example of how to deal with adversity.

PERFECTLY HUMAN: NINE MONTHS WITH CERIAN is a heartbreakingly beautiful book about author Sarah Williams’ decision to carry her baby with lethal skeletal dysplasia to term. Birth with this condition is fatal. Sarah is happily married and teaching history at the University of Oxford — with academic credentials, success, and knowledge — but it took her fatally disabled unborn child to teach her humbling humanity.

Sarah and her husband find themselves having to explain their decision to bring to term their already cherished baby, whom they call Cerian (Welsh for “loved one.”) They face disbelief and even outright hostility from others.

As Sarah writes, “Cerian is not a strong religious principle or a rule that compels me to make hard and fast ethical decisions. She is a beautiful person who is teaching me to love the vulnerable, treasure the unlovely, and face fear with dignity and hope.”

In this tear-inducing and inspirational memoir, the author describes her heart-stretching journey towards Cerian's birthday and her deathday. She does so without self-pity, rather expressing gratitude for the gift of Cerian and her lessons about the value of a life, no matter how imperfect. 5/5

Pub Date 01 Oct 2018

Thanks to Plough Publishing and NetGalley for the review copy. Opinions are fully mine.

#PerfectlyHuman #NetGalley

I did not want to read this book. I thought the subject matter was too tough and it would be too painful to read. While the subject matter is hard, it is a beautifully written book. I went through a roller coaster of emotions while reading it, but the story line was very engaging and kept pulling me back in. When one of the girls asked if she could always love the baby even when it died, I shed a few tears. The scene in the hospital where Sarah and Wren felt God’s presence in the room coming to take Cerian home gave me goosebumps. Even though this is a real story it reads more like a novel in the way you are drawn into the characters and story. I highly recommend this book.

I thought long and hard about my ability to read a book with such a heart-breaking subject matter. After days of inattention to this story I decided to venture onto page one, then page two, and by page three I was caught up in Sarah’s story recounting her journey of excitement discovering she was pregnant, then all too soon learning the lab results detecting a fatal disease in her unborn child. Sarah’s grief, comforted in waves by the outpouring of support from her husband, children, family, and friends was truly inspiring. It was a privilege to share Sarah’s emotional struggle to stay true to her beliefs which gave her the inner strength to accept life as a gift, in any form, for however long and at any cost. Morality, religious bias and the medical perspective were exquisitely delved into. These areas were sure to be addressed but sadly tainted this story as only these subjects could. The love of God prevailed throughout this book helping Sarah to focus on His plan. I fell in love with Cerian and found it emotionally exhausting to walk by Sarah’s side while she carried her for nine months enduring life-threatening situations and risking her own health. Through endless tears I found new appreciation for how I look at the importance of life. Cerian’s growth in Sarah’s womb, subsequent birth and death touched their children and will forever stay with me as a beacon of true love. There is no denying that this was a horribly sad occurrence that happened to a real family. Throughout this story there is understanding, acceptance, and grace that only a happening of this magnitude could create. This is a moving story not only for those who have been affected by a similar situation and need an avenue of closure, but also for those who have not been touched by tragedy thereby giving them a better depth of understanding in what makes up being perfectly human.

What can I possibly say to praise this book enough? It drove me to tears repeatedly and filled my heart with so much love and sympathy I repeated hugged my own children during the course of reading it. For the mother who wrote this book, ther was no happy ending, but she made ever moment she had with her precious child, a mere nine months, count by choosing to continue the pregnancy and showering her unborn baby with love as best she could without being able to hold and touch her. I am admitted pro life and believe every child is a precious gift, but this book does not push religion or the concept of pro life so much as document in a deep and moving way the choice a family made to give their child as much of a life as they could. Don't read it without a box of tissues, you will need them! And all my highest praise to the mother/author for being braver than almost anyone I can imagine and chronicling her joys and sorrows to share with the world.

Book Review - ‘Perfectly Human’ by Sarah C. Willaims ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Thank you to NetGalley, Plough Publishing and Sarah C. Williams for the chance to read this novel.

This extraordinary true story begins with the welcome news of a new member of the Williams family. Sarah’s husband, Paul, and their two young daughters share her excitement. But the happiness is short-lived, as a hospital scan reveals a lethal skeletal dysplasia. Birth will be fatal.

Sarah and Paul decide to carry the baby to term, a decision that shocks medical staff and Sarah’s professional colleagues. Sarah and Paul find themselves having to defend their child’s dignity and worth against incomprehension and at times open hostility. They name their daughter, Cerian, Welsh for “loved one.” Sarah writes, “Cerian is not a strong religious principle or a rule that compels me to make hard and fast ethical decisions. She is a beautiful person who is teaching me to love the vulnerable, treasure the unlovely, and face fear with dignity and hope.”

In this candid and vulnerable account, Sarah brings the reader along with her on the journey towards Cerian's birthday and her deathday.

This book truly is extraordinary. It is beautifully written and the author manages to take us on her heartbreaking journey while also eloquently discussing the questions that we need to ask ourselves about how we view health and life, both before and after birth.

I felt a pull to this book from the moment I read the description. I knew it wouldn’t be an easy read but it is like it came to me at a perfect time. For me what that meant was the unexpected and incredibly powerful impact it had on how I view my own life. I was born prematurely and not expected to survive. The doctors all said if I did somehow survive I would be severely mentally and physically handicapped. I defied the odds but was diagnosed with my first of many chronic illnesses aged just 18. To live knowing my life could have been all the more arduous is something I’m used to, as is living my best life despite its limitations. But this book made me look at this in a deeper way. Just one example is this quote from theologist Jurgen Moltmann:

“In reality there is no such thing as a non-handicapped life; only the ideal of health set up by society and the capable condemns a certain group of people to be called handicapped. Our society arbitrarily defines health as the capacity for work and a capacity for enjoyment, but true health is something quite different. True health is the strength to live, the strength to suffer, the strength to die. Health is not a condition of my body; it is the power of my soul to cope with the varying conditions of the body.”

The religious aspect to this book was something not every reader would like but I feel it is vital to the story of how Sarah and her husband Paul faced their decisions and the impact they caused. I was a Christian for many years so I could understand a lot of their feelings of wondering why God had allowed this to happen and in the challenges they faced with fellow Christians.

The only negative thing about this book for me was that at times it could get too academic. The final chapter was a big example of this and I kept zoning out whilst trying to read it. Overall though this was a powerful, emotional and wonderful book that challenges you in ways you didn’t expect.

A reflection of personhood

Sarah C. Williams who is married with two daughters and teaching history at the University of Oxford gives a candid and vulnerable account in "Perfectly Human - Nine Months with Cerian" about her pregnancy with her third daughter Cerian (which is Welsh and means "loved one") when it is discovered that her child would not live after birth due to lethal skeletal dysplasia. Williams takes the reader on the journey through the time of pregnancy, birth, and grief. She does not only retell the experiences of herself and her family, facing disbelief or outright hostility by others, but explores the ethical and spiritual. The book is far more than a personal account, more than a memoir, but a reflection "personhood". Williams quotes e.g., protestant theologian Jürgen Moltmann: "In reality there is no such ting as non-handicapped life, only the idea of health set up by society..." and a lecture by catholic theologian Dr. Heather Ward.
Whereas prenatal screening is mainly used to identify the biological sex of a child in Western societies and then the mother is put under pressure to terminate the pregnancy when there are medical conditions, in other parts of the world the mother is also put under pressure when the child is of the "wrong" sex. Williams states that "the practice (of prenatal screening) is understood to be morally neutral. It is the degree to which it supports and facilitates individual choice that determines whether or not it is good or bad, right or wrong." It teaches and reinforces particular ways of thinking about the human person and leads to the present social practice that renders acceptable the idea of terminating the life of a child whose physical capacities are suboptimal. Sadly legal structures make this idea permissible and possible, but it dehumanizes all of us. The question if this practice is actually good for society has not even been asked.
According to Williams Cerian's story is placed in a much larger social drama because her private decision has an impact on society. It is not only the pressure of terminating fetal abnormality but also of assisted dying with which we are faced today. There are socially acceptable definitions for "personhood", "quality of life", and "humanness" with which we are confronted. Williams asks: "What does it really mean to be human?" and she states that limitations, finitude, suffering, weakness, disability, and frailty can be gifts. Ultimately, according to her, personhood is a gift.
The first part of "Perfectly Human" was written two years after Cerian's death, parts of it published in 2007 as "The Shaming of the Strong." This second edition shows that the central themes are even more pertinent today. Williams also puts in notes where the US-American laws in regards to the termination of pregnancies differ from the British laws. I chose to read and review this book due to the fact that I have two friends who have lost their children at birth because of medical conditions and the daughter of friends who was advised to terminate her pregnancy because of problems with the valve of the heart of her baby. Ironically since she refused there was a staff of about thirty people present to do the heart surgery if necessary after the cesarian (see e.g., also the surgeries done by Ben Carson M.D. or the book "When is it right to die?" by Joni Eareckson Tada). I highly recommend this book for all those who are under pressure to terminate a pregnancy, those who are close to them, but most of all for all who want to deal with the very pertinent issues of termination and "assisted death."
The complimentary copy of this book was provided by the publisher through NetGalley free of charge. I was under no obligation to offer a positive review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
#PerfectlyHuman #NetGalley

Challenging book that makes you think, cry and look at life and death differently. Beautifully written.

Sarah is pregnant with her third child. Her husband and two daughters are happy and can’t wait for the baby to be born. At her 20 week ultrasound, there is the discovery of a severe skeletal disorder that means neonatal death or stillbirth. She decides to carry the child full term with her husband, her daughters and community support. They do everything possible to support this child should she be the 1% that survive. This isn’t a grief memoir. It’s about the journey to decide and give birth to a child that may or may not live after birth.

It is a heartbreaking story. This memoir may help others who are going through a similar experience with their pregnancy. It is well written.

Sarah Williams is pregnant with her third child when a 20 week scan shows that her unborn daughter suffers from a condition that is not compatible with life. Sarah and her husband must decide whether or not to carry their child to term, with the understanding that her condition will result in death at or before delivery.

Sarah draws on her strong faith to carry on with her pregnancy, a decision that was often judged and misunderstood. I admit, this book opened my eyes because I too was judgmental initially. I couldn't understand Sarah's decision not to terminate, and the idea of baby Cerian suffering during delivery seemed unnecessary. But as Sarah described her journey, it transformed for me into something beautiful, and I realized it is not my place to judge such an impossible decision. I admired Sarah's tenacity and bravery through such a difficult pregnancy, not only due to Cerian's fatal condition, but also the normal struggles that Sarah faced--her HG and back pain sounded downright horrifying.

I do not have a strong religious foundation, so I typically stay away from books like this, and there were times when I felt that Sarah was too "preachy" in her delivery. But overall, her lessons on life and love really touched me and gave me a lot to think about. I especially loved how she touched on the idea of eugenics and what makes a human worthy. As mother to a special needs, autistic child, it really hit home to me. In this day and age, it is easy in some cases to determine disabilities and medical conditions prior to birth. Sometimes this can lead to decisions that are unfathomable. Where do we draw the line? How do we determine prior to birth what we can handle as parents and what we can't? How do we determine quality of life before a baby is even born? I finished this book with a lot to mull over.