Scars Like Wings

“Everyone has scars. Some are just easier to see.”

All the stars!!! That was gorgeous! It’s been almost three weeks since I finished reading this book and I’m still struggling to form meaningful sentences about it. There isn’t anything I can say that would do justice to the ways Ava and Piper made me feel so please just trust me when I say I want everyone to read this book.

Also, you may want to make sure you have plenty of tissues on hand before you begin. I was close to tears when I read the author’s note about eight year old Marius, whose own story helped to inspire Ava’s, and that was before the first chapter. Couple that with the comparisons between ‘Scars Like Wings’ and ‘Wonder’, and you’ve essentially already got a foolproof recipe for a good ol’ ugly cry. And ugly cry I did, as well as some more minor dehydration inducing episodes, but they were of the ‘this is so beautiful!’ variety.

‘When a wound’s that deep, it’s the healing that hurts.’

Ava survived the fire that claimed the lives of her parents and her best friend, but she doesn’t feel like the lucky one. After a year of excruciating treatments on her scarred body, 60% of which was burned, Ava is leaving hospital to live with her Aunt Cora, the “self appointed CEO” of the “Committee on Ava’s Life”, and Uncle Glenn.

‘The scars are all I see.’

Ava doesn’t want any part of finding a ‘new normal’ but reluctantly agrees to attend school for two weeks to appease the Committee. If she can just make it through ten school days and show her Aunt she’s attempted ‘reintegration’, she will be able to resume hiding from the world indefinitely because she’ll have concrete evidence of its failure. She’s certain of it.

‘Those girls have no idea that I used to be a normal girl with friends’

Except Ava doesn’t expect to meet people like Piper and Asad. Piper was my favourite character, partially because of her fluency in sarcasm and eccentricity, and also because I understand what it’s like to have a car accident turn your life into a Before and After. I appreciated her use of humour to deflect and deny the pain she was feeling.

“It’s like the universe dealt us this horrible hand in life and it’s our duty to scream back: ‘Well played, craptastic cosmos, but you haven’t met me yet.’”

Asad is a theatre geek, whose passion and personality stole my heart. Their empathy and compassion made me consistently want to give them bear hugs but they also snagged some great lines. About ‘Wicked’:

“It is nothing like The Wizard of Oz. It is like taking the yellow brick road and twisting it until it snaps in half and then you look inside and there’s a whole other world in that road that’s dark and deep and soul-exposing.”

I would tell you that Ava’s story is inspirational but she hates that word so instead I’ll tell you that it’s a reminder that the love, support and acceptance of others can make all the difference when you’re in pain, for whatever reason.

“She conquered her demons and wore her scars like wings.”

I loved the complexities of the characters. I can’t think of a single person who remained inside of the box that was initially labelled with them in mind. Perception or circumstances may have cast them in a specific role and while sometimes that may have been accurate to a degree, that’s not all they were; oftentimes they were also the opposite and I find that so encouraging.

At one point I nearly convinced myself to refuse to turn the page because I didn’t think I could handle it if what I feared was going to happen actually did. Thankfully I was mostly wrong about that part of the story. Had I been right, I’d probably still be ugly crying!

I figured out who was sending the messages to Piper early on, quite possibly accidentally, but this didn’t affect the way I felt about this book. By the time the truth was revealed it actually made even more sense to me why it had to be this person.

Content warnings include bullying, homophobia, ableism, depression and a suicide attempt.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster (Australia) for the opportunity to read this book.

*thank you to Netgalley, Simon & Schuster (Australia) and Erin Stewart for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*


4 stars.

"It's a good reminder: Everyone has scars. Some are just easier to see." 

Such a well told story from a burn victim. Sorry I mean burn SURVIVOR. This story is raw and full of emotion. 

Ava is seriously burned in a fire that completely destoroyed her home and claimed her parents lives. She ends up living with other family members, Cora and Glenn who's Daughter, Sara, was also killed in the fire. Ava now feels she lives in the shadow of Sara while she tries to work her way through her new life. Cora and Glenn are wonderful guardians, ever so supportive but they all have their own greif to deal with. But together, they step by step, manage their way to creating a new normal life together.

"We have to be stronger than the hurt" 

What an emotion wreck I was after reading the part of the story where Dr Layne takes Ava on a road trip. Anybody who has suffered deep and debilitating greif and loss will understand this. It's utterly heartbreaking because I can relate on a deep level to the way this story goes, to how it feels to feel something that has been taken away. It really was such a heartbreaking read that only a person who has experienced such heartbreak can write about, and in this, the author did it well.

"There is always beauty in the ashes. Sometimes we just can't see it yet." 

But this book is more than that. It's about losing yourself, losing others and then finding yourself again in a way you didn't think possible. It's about the struggles in getting there. The suffering. And then finally the breaking through it all.

The part where the photographer Photoshop's Ava's photo of herself, really bothered me as I'm sure it would have to anybody who has things about their image that makes them self-conscious, or scars of any kind that they would wish weren't there. He edits Ava's photo so that her scars are no longer there and he then goes to tell her that he made her look, "Better". Like seriously! How in sensitive can a person be. I get that he really did think he was trying to help, but it really wasn't helpful at all. Instead it just pointed out that there was something 'wrong' with how she looked. But it made me realise that comment and all the other ones in this book about insensitive people, is something people with obvious scaring go through each day. Among the rare ones who happen to see beyond all of that, the world is full of those who see and judge and react in a negitaive way. We get to experience what it's like to stand out in a crowd when all you wish you could do is disappear into the background.

"Courage can not erase fears." 

This is a story of courage and hope and survival. About how, together, we can climb back out of the hole we have fallen into. But it is also about the strength of friendship and love, support and just simply how being there for someone can mean everything. 

Scars Like Wings is a powerful story with a lot of important messages. I highly recommend this book.

A powerful story, with powerful characters.

It was gritty and realistic, and was truly heart-wrenching! The writing was clever, and felt well researched, especially from personal experiences.

An inspirational book that really pulled on my heartstrings. I cannot recommend this one enough!

Rating: 5/5

(This review will featured on my blog on September 19!)

I got a digital ARC copy of Scars like Wings through Netgalley and a physical copy from work and took it as a sign that the universe was pushing this book in to my hands - and for good reason.
It follows the story of Ava, a teenage burned survivor, who lost her family in a house fire the year before.
It follows the struggles of manoeuvring her way back through high school, having crushes and trying to make friends in a world where she’s either laughed at, whispered about or cringed at.
It was such a good story, an absolutely incredible debut novel and an awesome addition to any YA fan’s shelf.
5 hearts for one of the best ya books i’ve read in a while.
💖💖💖💖💖

Ava Gardener is the sole survivor of a house fire that took the lives of her parents and cousin Sara. Ava lives with the scars that serve as a reminder of her sorrow, for the lives lost that fateful day and the life that she's been so cruelly denied. Once an outgoing and popular girl, Ava has become a recluse, completing her education through correspondence and reluctantly attending group counselling appointments for adolescents who have survived tragedy and trauma.

Enduring invasive reconstructive surgery and grafts, Ava is restricted to compression bandages to ensure her skin remains taut during the heeling process, her aunt and uncle working tirelessly to afford Ava's ongoing medical expenses. Cared for by her aunt and uncle, Sara's parents who are mourning the loss of their only child, Ava understands the financial burden she's become. Championing her recovery, Cora is enthusiastic when Ava's counsellor suggests Ava return to school, no longer challenged by her online studies and needing to gain a sense of normalcy so to appease Cora, Ava agrees to a two week trial.

Ava Gardener is a wonderful young woman who has endured devastating tragedy, losing her parents and cousin in traumatic circumstances and although heavily scarred, Ava survived. The intensity of the fire burnt over sixty percent of Ava's skin and although she's endured multiple grafting procedures, Ava's facial scarring has become a barrier in regaining her independence. Through counselling Ava befriends Piper, the two young women both survivors. Piper was involved in a car accident and now physically disabled as a result, never allowing herself to become a victim or survivor but rather a girl who is thriving. Neither Ava or Piper serve as an inspiration to others, they simply want to experience adolescence.

Ava and Piper are characters of contrast, Ava wants to remain as inconspicuous as possible, Piper is self deprecating and uses humour to make antagonisers and detractors feel uncomfortable. Ava is a kindred spirit filling the void of loneliness for Piper, Piper encourages Ava to broaden her horizons and although both Piper and Ava continue to navigate their tentative friendship, Ava's confidence begins to blossom.

Scars Like Wings is a gentle and healing narrative, to not merely survive but to endure, to exist and to live again. Diverse young adult literature is almost exclusively sexually diverse, multicultural, multigender or hearing and vision impaired and Scars Like Wings is an incredibly important narrative. Physical scarring can often be debilitating, not only effecting confidence but the discomfort and pain associated with skin trauma. Ava's experience in finding her sense of normalcy is a personal journey, she experiences isolation, undiagnosed depression, acute pain and her movements restricted due to her compression bandages. Her recovery is ongoing, with Cora massaging ointment into her skin nightly. Psychologically, Ava also experiences vivid reminders of her loss which some readers may find confronting.

Erin Stewart has authored a tender, captivating narrative and an unflinching account of the scars we carry. Some not always visible. A beautifully compassionate debut novel and essential reading

:Shoot for the stars, Ava, and you're bound to hit something. But first, you have to shoot."

Scars Like Wings is the heartwrenching tale of Ava, a girl who suffered third and fourth degree burns to 60% of her body.
This book is incredibly raw, gritty and honest. It feels real, no horrible parts have been left out and I love that fact. We are privy to all of the things that Ava has to go through, so many of them being things we wouldn't dream of.

I did struggle with Ava for the first half of the book. I struggled to like her character at all and then felt bad about it becuase she is a burn survivor. Which I think, goes against the whole point of the book... But by the end of the book, I was a fan, and loved seeing her progress into who she was at the end of the book.

Stewart's writing style is fluid, easy to read and hard hitting, pages turning quicker, the deeper you get into the story.

A tale of heartbreaking loss followed by self discovery and the power of friendship, family and trusting yourself.

Life is hard enough for any 16 year old in high school, so imagine if you had to deal with all of the normal high school drama, while being severely disfigured due to burns sustained from a house fire. That's only the start of it. The house fire that was the cause of the burns also took the lives of Ava's parents and her cousin. So now Ava lives with her Aunt and Uncle...in the room of her now dead cousin.

Like Wonder this book make you think about the kind of person you are. We all like to think that we are good and kind people, but what would it be like when a new girl comes to school, with a melted face, no ear and a toe where her thumb should be? Would you find it easy to look her in the eye and have a conversation, how would you feel about holding her hand? Those of who have not been in that circumstance can't answer that, not really...but we all hope we would be able to see past the outside tot he person underneath the scars.

Unlike Wonder I found myself putting myself in Ava's shoes. I don't remember wondering what it would be like for Auggie. Maybe because he was younger? Maybe because he, for the most part, had such a positive outlook on life. But I did wonder how I would feel if I was Ava. Would I be brave enough to face the world looking so different? Would I be able to look people in the eye when they spoke to me, knowing what they see when they look at my face? Again, we can never know. I would like to think that I could be even half as brave as Ava.

I know it's only a story, and Ava is not a real person, but reading a book like this makes me want to be a braver person, just in everyday life. Take more risks, do the things you love without worrying what other people will think of you, and find the people that bring out the best on you.