Nineteen

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Pub Date 30 Jul 2019 | Archive Date 20 Jan 2020

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Description

"I lived for Wednesdays. Every other day of the week was something that stood between the two of us. I lay awake at night thinking up ways to change that. I went over and over how to approach her in my head, and nothing seemed to work. I knew that it needed to be fate again. If it were fate, then I wouldn't feel like I manipulated the situation. Then I wouldn't be to blame if it all went wrong. So until fate would bring us together again, I lived for Wednesdays."

Meet Cameron Metzger as he stands on the cusp of age twenty and reflects on his life as an underachieving hopeless romantic. He vividly recalls first cars and first kisses with sentimental sadness as he learns to cope with the suffocating secret that he kept hidden for years.

"I lived for Wednesdays. Every other day of the week was something that stood between the two of us. I lay awake at night thinking up ways to change that. I went over and over how to approach her in...


Advance Praise

Nineteen truly covers that strange gap in life between adolescence and adulthood and Carmack nails it on the head. 

Nineteen truly covers that strange gap in life between adolescence and adulthood and Carmack nails it on the head. 


Available Editions

ISBN 9781795617499
PRICE $2.99 (USD)

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Average rating from 23 members


Featured Reviews

There’s something exciting—and hard to describe—in the pages of this book. The main character, Cameron Metzger (beginning at age 16 and progressing into his 20s), not only came vibrantly alive in my mind as a palpable, believable person, his thoughts and personality felt as if they co-existed inside me independently. This phenomenon continued straight to the final pages as Cameron struggled to cope with the “trials and tribulations” of growing up straight and smart and sincere in a dog-eat-dog world. I lived some of this life and I will attest to the veracity of emotion to be found on Nineteen’s pages. Being a teenager is tough on all of us—and we all have to go over many hills and valleys before we can talk about it sensibly—but it’s never been tougher than it is now to go through it. Young people used to suffer from coping with not being able to get what their hormones were screaming for. Now the problems come from the process of actually achieving physical satisfaction and the consequences that follow it. When young men didn’t get this satisfaction they just didn’t get it, but now young men are faced with the problems that come when they’re the thing that got “got.” Carmack understands this, and she understands it from inside a young, male mind. How? I have no idea, but she does. So, if you think that a woman can’t write from inside a boy’s mind, here’s where you can prove yourself wrong. Just be aware going in—she can see things most male authors wouldn’t. Some things here, therefore, might be a revelation to a male reader. A male reader might be forced into a revisionist stance on his own past or present life.

There’s no need to go into plot points when there’s a perfectly adequate book description of Nineteen available, and other reviews around various sites that make those points. This is a hard book to discuss without spoilers, and if you come across one, it won’t have leaked from my pen. It’s enough for me to praise the sincerity, integrity, and craftsmanship that went into this undertaking. I give the writer, who is giving us her first novel, a lot of credit. The settings are perfectly visual, and the characterizations of the supporting players go beyond spot-on. Everything here is strikingly believable and deeply convincing. Carmack wisely tells a story where there are no real villains, just flawed families, and less than romantic romances. It was much more interesting because of that. So, take a chance on this book. You have nothing to lose and a lot to remember. Unless you are less than 16 to 19, in which case, this is a tarot reading of your possible future.

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Sometimes it’s easy to forget being 19 and this book really sent me back to the emotions that controlled my thought process around that time.

Cameron is such a likeable character who you can’t help routing for. I truly wanted the best for him, as a nice guy he deserved the love and acceptance he craved so much.
I haven’t read many books with a strong male narrative and this book provided a great perspective into the emotions of a late teen. It was interesting to explore topics from the view of a male lead, especially topics that can be traumatic and life changing.

I’d really recommend this book, the author is brilliant in character development and discussing aspects of coming of age and the desire to be loved. Great story, I just need to know if Cameron is ok!

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I want to give this refreshing, "real-life feeling," beautifully written novel an 8 out of 5! I absolutely loved young Cameron Metzger.
This sweet, decent young man seemed very real to me. He behaves and speaks almost exactly as my own brothers did, growing up, except that Cameron had way more emotional maturity! (Sorry, bros!)
Cameron has all the same hormonal urges as every other young teen, but he discovers early on that sex for him isn't satisfying unless there is an element of love involved as well. What a rare and wonderful ideal to possess in this, as Cameron puts it, "over-sexed" generation.
Cameron feels used and guilty when he loses his virginity to a girl, Stephanie, who won't acknowledge him at school because he isn't "cool" enough. When Stephanie becomes pregnant and demands that he pay for her abortion, his sensitive soul searches for other options, but he ultimately caves in to her demands. His next two relationships are just as unsatisfying or toxic, and he begins to equate sex with pain and unhappiness. I started feeling very protective of this sweet, highly emotional young fellow. Cameron really is too sensitive and caring for the rough and tumble environment of high school - and life in general.
There is also a huge disconnect between Cameron and his family. His siblings are about 20 years older than he is and his believes that his Dad hates him. His Dad always suspected that Cameron was gay and/or high on drugs. (Ironically, Cameron didn't even drink when he lived with his parents!) He feels unsupported by his family and has few real friends.
But things change when Cameron's father forces him to move out. Fortunately, fate finally seems to be taking a hand in redirecting Cameron's life when he answers an ad in the local paper, placed by older woman (Lisa) that he has a crush on. (She is a frequent customer in the grocery shop where he works.) For sure, Cameron decides then and there that a relationship with Lisa was meant to be, and he happily moves into the small rental unit above her garage.
What impressed me about Cameron was his ability to see beyond their age difference (she is 32 to his 19) and the scars on her body (from her abusive marriage). Both Cameron and Lisa have been damaged by their previous sexual partners, both physically and mentally. I enjoyed the slow but steady evolution of their mutually supportive friendship. Cameron's relationship with Lisa's son, Tommy, was another example of Cameron's very loving nature.
I love how Cameron tries, often unsuccessfully, to play cupid for his friends and for his sister, Laura. Cameron is such a positive character - he wants everyone around him to be happy. I loved watching Cameron grow from an uncertain 16 year old to a more self-assured 20 year old in this story.
And for all of you "twist" lovers out there, there is certainly a huge one in this novel. Many of you will see it coming, but Cameron is devastated by this big reveal.
And of course, this story ends on a major cliff hanger. There is a sequel planned (working title: Twenty-one) according to the author's web page. Normally, I stay away from serialized books, but if the serial is as well written as Nineteen was, it will be so worth the wait!
This book was on a promotional sale at the time of this review, so I would encourage everyone to add this book to their TBR pile. It is so inspirational and the writing is so beautiful and lyrical. I know I will be rereading this story again, which is why I bought my own copy, despite having received a free digital ARC from NetGalley. Promising authors like Arly Carmack deserve to be supported and encouraged. I am so looking forward to her next novel! Highly, highly recommended!
My thanks to the author, publisher and NetGalley for a free ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

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Thanks, NetGalley, for my review copy.

Narrated by Cameron, the protagonist, Ninteen is an honest, emotional story of his life. He is just a normal guy. Unlike his much older over-achiever siblings, he lives for today. To the chagrin of his parents, especially his father, he is only passionate about his cars, playing the drums, and...Lisa, his Wednesday customer at the Stop N Shop, his crush/"girlfriend." Like any child, he craves the love, attention, and approval of his parents. But, instead, he feels(and is made to feel) like a stranger in his own family. He can't share memories of experiences he wasn't a part of. He is poles apart from them in both looks, personality, and values. To be fair, his brother Doug and sister Laura are not as much at fault.

Although he does have some measure of autonomy, he does not become fully independent and grow into his own person until he has no choice. It is only then that his life changes for the better...and worse.

I liked this book more than I expected to. I looked forward to reading it because I genuinely liked Cameron. He had integrity. It was an authentic, slice-of-life story, complete with its flawed characters and realistic interpersonal relationships. This made it relateable. Granted, it did have a fair amount of profanity and graphic sexual content. But, that didn't detract from my enjoyment. I had assumed the author was male because the expression of a guy's thoughts, feelings, actions, and dialogue was portrayed so well. I hope to read more from this author.

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This book was real, raw and at times uncomfortable. It reminded me of what it was like to be a teenager and feel like no one understood you.

Cameron is a very sensitive boy. He doesn't feel like he belongs in his family and just sticks to himself. He doesn't have any friends and is content to work on his cars in silence. Then a popular girl at school noticed him and things got hot and heavy between them.

Most of this book is told from 19 year old Cameron's perspective as he looks back on all of his teenage issues and wondering if he could have done them any differently and changed the outcome of who he is. He's already been through a lot and the hits just keep on coming.

The ending pissed me off.

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This book was really good. Seeing the life though a teen. Was great seeing Cameron working his way though the relationship with the girls. Also finding out his sister was actually his my and then meeting his deals father. Plus falling in love with Lisa and being happy in the end. But the ending after he got heat up why did it have to end where it did. Is he dead or is he alive. Hope there another book coming up to see what happens to cameron.

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I feel emotionally and physically drained after reading this book. I stayed up all night reading it. Arly Carmack did an amazing job painting the picture for the characters. I felt every emotions all the characters were going through. I cannot get over how well written this book is. If you are interested in a good coming of age story this is it.

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Arly Carmack's "Nineteen" isn't just about being nineteen. It's about being sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen and twenty. And even about being thirty(something).
When I first started reading "Nineteen", I described it to someone who asked as "a rollercoaster". And like most good rollercoasters, no matter how many dips and dives it has, the first part is really just the wind up for the big run about halfway through - and for the grand finale, which leaves you feeling lightheaded and even confused at the end.
For the most part, "Nineteen" deals with sex - and particularly, with the physical, emotional, and social aftermath of sexual encounters. While not every possibility is covered (that would extend far beyond the scope of a single book!) Carmack tackles a variety of issues ranging from from sexual violence to abortion. Perhaps most interestingly, the book does so from the perspective of a young man - one who discovers what it is like to hurt, and to be hurt.
Carmack has a unique writing style, and is the absolute master of opening sentences. (How is this for the first sentence of chapter one? "I had come to the conclusion that I didn't know a damn thing about myself" - and all seventy-two chapters begin just as attention-grabbingly)
"Nineteen" is written in the first person, from the perspective of the (not always) nineteen-year-old protagonist, Cameron. This leads to some interesting outcomes. We are often told about Cam's past actions or patterns of behaviour (e.g. waiting for a letter, having dinner with someone etc.) at the exact moment it becomes pertinent to the story. While on the one hand, this can detract from the sense of urgency and plot driving the story (as we never really experience the anguish of waiting, or the awkwardness of events with him), on the other hand, it can be said that this heightens the sense we experience of Cam as storyteller, since this is exactly how a real friend would relay a story.
"How do you detect a real story?" asks Carmack (as Cam) in the opening sections of the story. "Messy people in shitty situations".
I happen to agree wholeheartedly with this definition - and by this measure, "Nineteen" is certainly a real story.
Just like the age for which it is named, "Nineteen" is difficult to categorise. Although it's some time since I was nineteen, as I read Carmack's book, I felt myself reflecting on what this age means. In some countries (such as my own) eighteen is the age of adulthood. In others (such as where I read this book) it's twenty. And yet in other places (including, I believe, the place Cam inhabits) it is twenty-one.
Nineteen, however, is both a significant and a nothing age in all but a handful of countries (and a couple of states in the US and Canada). It is perhaps best described as "in-between", and likewise, I'd describe "Nineteen" as between genres.
Given its title, it might be tempting to categorise "Nineteen" as YA (or perhaps more accurately, NA). But "Nineteen" explores the lives of and will appeal to people of all ages.
It's also tempting to think of it as a "Christian" book, since, especially in the second half, the characters' religion (all Christian, and more specifically, the sort that use phrases such as "pray on" and "faith journey") features quite predominantly. Yet (as is truer of real life than most books in that genre), their religion provides no clear, concrete answers and neither (as is truer of real people than most protagonists in that genre) do Carmack's characters follow the tenants of their faith anywhere near perfectly. In fact, while many of the negative repercussions of sexuality are explored at length, the majority of the characters do not consider abstinence. And as one of the characters keenly observes "you can either pray for your sins or pay for your sins."
Finally, as in real life, the message of "Nineteen" (if there is a single message) is complex, or even, as the quote above suggests, "messy". Characters feel responsibility for decisions that weren't theirs to make, and at other times, fail to own up to those that were. There was plenty in "Nineteen" that I disagreed with Cam on. The importance of biology compared to love, for example, or passion versus respect. But I don't believe it is necessary to completely agree with a character in order to be interested in their story, or what they have to say. And Cam, those of us with a few more years under the belt must remember, is young - whether he's an adult at eighteen, twenty, or stuck in the middle at nineteen.
Regardless of whether you agree with the decisions made - or how the characters ultimately feel about them - "Nineteen" will make you think, about relationships, life, and whether the "formula" for life (that screws over most of us - male and female) is really worth adhering to.

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I heard a rumor that there will be a second book in this series. If that is the case I give it 5 stars all the way, if not I at least add an epilogue, you can't just leave me hanging that. Regardless, I really loved this book. It gives a unique perspective that we don't always hear about, how the consequences of youth effect what kind of an adult you will become. Cameron definitely gave me some Holden Caulfield vibes, he believes in truth, love and people being allowing to be themselves. I think this is a great book for adults and older young adults still trying to navigate that space between childhood and adulthood.
Thank you Netgalley for advanced reader copy. All opinions are my own.

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Main character is written tasteful and really makes you feel like you are right beside him within the book.

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Well written, interesting, even captivating. Different than my usual read in a good way.

It brought me back to my teen years. The way it is written draws you in. You can easily feel a connection and for sure it brings back memories.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me access to this book. This is my honest review. All opinions are my own.

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Omg what did I just read?!! It can't end like that!
Ever read a book that was totally not what you expected it to be? Well for me this was it.
I was expecting some light fluffy coming of age book but nope that is not what I got.
This book is raw and emotional and alot of things I just can't put into words right now.
It follows Camerons life as he goes from 19 to 20. He recounts things that happened in his life that have shaped him to the man he has become. He has had to deal with a lot of hard stuff in his 19 years. He is a hopeless romantic who doesn't feel like he fits in not even at home.
This story had me on edge the whole time I never knew what to expect and where the story was going to go and I really liked that aspect of it. I can't believe the ending and I'm hoping there will be another book as there were a fair few loose ends that id love to see tied up. Although the story was a tad far fetched at times it was still really enjoyable and I'd definitely recommend it

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Our hero has reached his nineteenth year of life feeling completely displaced in his life. His parents are older. His father treats him like a visiting relative. The son of the distant cousin you never liked or understood. His mother often forgets him. They even put his high school graduation photo in a different part of the house than his much older brother and sister. The only person in the family who gives him any attention is his older brother. Mostly because he is a psychologist and is often called upon by their parents. As for the sister, she is in the army and is never home.
So our hero lives in his head a lot. He works at a grocery store and has an affinity for old cars. This leads to the life he finds for himself away from his family, For our hero his nineteenth year is a game changer.
Good book with interesting characters all seen from the pov of a teenage boy.

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A coming of age story, a boy becoming a man, growing into the person he is going to be. The cover looks like it will be a light read but actually it is very deep and serious. Great book.

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Cameron isn't like everyone else and he's just trying to make it through life. This book is real and emotional and relatable. Just like every other boy Cameron's age, he's hormonal, but he quickly learns that se for him isn't satisfying without the love factor. After having sex with Stephanie, he feels used and a little guilty about losing his virginity. When she ends up pregnant she demands he pay for her abortion and his sensitive soul gives in. Every relationship after Stephanie is equally toxic and he soon begins to relate his sexual experiences with unhappiness. Cameron's disconnect between him and his family doesn't help matters. His forces him to move out of th house.

I felt very protective ofCameron's character and felt he was very relatable. I think the author did a wonderful job with this book and wold love to read more by them.

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I enjoyed this book in the fact that the book is solely narrated by a male main character, which is not something that I have not come across before. I liked how it went through the good and bad of him growing up and learning some life lessons. I absolutely hated the ending.

I received this book from NetGalley in return for an honest review.

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Wow! Nineteen really draws you in and gets you feeling the character's emotions and getting to know them. I love Arly Carmack's style and thought this book was beautifully written. I really didn't want to put it down. There were a couple predictable parts where I wanted to shout "come on man, wake up!", but I think it just added to the allure of the story and drew me in even more. What I didn't love was the ending - it was too abrupt for me and left me feeling a little bit ripped off. I would still recommend Nineteen though because it was otherwise really good!

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