Horizontal Parenting

How to Entertain Your Kid While Lying Down

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Pub Date 21 Sep 2021 | Archive Date 16 Aug 2021

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Description

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Children are exhausting! In the marathon of modern parenting, everyone needs a break—just 10 precious minutes to rest your body and tune out the chaos.

Enter Horizontal Parenting, the super-simple parenting hack for everyone, everywhere. This book includes 50 fun, effective, and hilarious games to play with toddlers and children while lying down. Activities include:

What’s on My Butt  - Hide and Seek-ish  - Don’t Wake the Giant  - Railroad to Relaxation - and many more!

All you need is a comfortable surface, a few household items, and your child’s imagination, and you too can master the sanity-saving art of horizontal parenting.


Sorry friends: this title is not available for Kindle download. Also, light copyright watermarks throughout.

Children are exhausting! In the marathon of modern parenting, everyone needs a break—just...


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ISBN 9781797211343
PRICE $14.95 (USD)

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Average rating from 45 members


Featured Reviews

A cute little picture book for parents, Horizontal Parenting presents ideas to keep your kids active and occupied while doing the least amount of work, all of them illustrated. I'm not quite sure if the book's purpose if primarily to be funny or to actually recommend these strategies; it was a bit of both, but some of the activities here would probably take more energy than a classic tea party with teddy bears or playing with dolls. It is pretty funny, and I appreciate that they illustrated every activity, but the drawings seem a bit too simplistic, they weren't exactly my style. All in all, a fun book that parents of toddlers would probably appreciate.

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I really could have used this book when my kids were toddlers for sure! There are plenty of activities older kids that won't get out of your face for all the candy in the world would enjoy, too. My 5 and 7 year olds would love don't wake the giant, lotion painting, cave spelunking, and change of scenery, for sure! Full of laughs and some actually good activities, any parent of small children will love this book. The illustrations are great, too, and feature a variety of people and families. There are a couple of activities that might be better in theory than practice, though. I don't think I'd recommend packing peanut snow angels (the MESS OMG). Several of these would be great for getting the kids out of your hair for a while, too, like Sort of Hide and Seek (Oh no, I just cannot figure out where you are!) and the Snail Race (I'll just be the judge...from over here...on the couch...). Don't forget to try to earn your bonus points! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pretend to be Sleeping Beauty for a while.

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It's a quick parent's guide to tired parents. It is mostly a collection of different ideas of games. The drawings were cute and I liked the humour. I'll probably read it later on when I need some ideas :)

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This is absolutely INGENIOUS. I loved and enjoyef all of the games while I found myself simultaneously chuckling as I've tried many forms of "horizontal resting" play.

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This book is hilarious! And genius! Horizontal Parenting is the guide to entertaining your kid while you relax and rest. I was laughing out loud, not only at the ideas, but also at the bonus tips and illustrations. I showed a few to my husband and he agrees this just might be the best parenting book around. I know that it will be my go-to gift for all future baby showers! Thank you NetGalley and Chronicle Books for this gifted ARC.

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Horizontal Parenting by Michelle Woo is packed with many ideas for parents/caregivers to play with their children while lying down, without exerting too much physical energy. This would be a fantastic resource for all parents. So many suffer with chronic pain, have mobility or debilitating issues, or are simply exhausted, but still want to connect with their children. I love the variety of ideas, some are downright hilarious and kids will love. Because it features illustrations for each activity, this is one parents and children will want to go through together. Thank you Chronicle Books and NetGalley for providing this ARC.

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I’m not a parent, but I’m an aunt and this book will be very helpful for when my niece can walk/play. There was a lot of activities given, and the descriptions were very funny!

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This book is hilarious! I'm willing to try anything for a few extra minutes of sleep eye haha! The illustrations were engaging, fun, and featured diverse individuals. Lots of entertaining activities are included!

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This book is so what I needed. I have a 2 year old son and am also 23 weeks pregnant and have several Autoimmune issues that cause me to be fatigued even when not pregnant. I love this book and all the ideas of how to keep your child entertained when you just need to sit or lay down. It's rough some days. Since my son is only 2, some of the ideas in the book wouldn't be realistic at this age because he wouldn't understand but I'll be keeping this book around so in 2 years when I have a 2 and 4 year old, I can rest 🤣

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This book is absolutely hysterical. I grabbed my husband and made him look at every single idea with me. Personal favorites: Ninja Walk, Amnesia, Couch Potato, Held Captive, Tattoo Parlor, and Will it Roll? The illustrations are cute and funny! I don't care whether or not this is supposed to be purely comedic, parenting advice, or somewhere in between- I am definitely adding a few of these to my arsenal!

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This might very well be my new favorite parenting book. There are some truly great (and totally doable) activities that involve very little effort on the parents' part. I think my favorites are "Hide-and-Seek-ish" and "Lotion Painting." These will definitely be added to the "mommy had a busy day and just wants to be still" toolbox.

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Horizontal Parenting is humor and works in brief snippets of story and pieces of life. I liked the pairing of images with these moments and reflections.

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This book is a riot! My brother has a 2 year old and 5 year old and lives in a 900 SF apartment in Chicago and we are a year into the covid pandemic. I've been reading a page or two a day and communicating the "game of the day" to him. Michelle Woo is so creative and down-right hilarious! The illustrations are perfect. So very entertaining, even if you don't have kits! Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher (Chronicle Books), Michelle Woo (author) and Dash Tolstikova (illustrator) for the opportunity to review Horizontal Parenting, in exchange for an honest review. Publication date is August 17, 2021. I'll be ordering this book. Someone's review mentioned that this would be a perfect shower gift, absolutely!

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A parenting book which is a must for all and will surely be a favourite!! This book gives us a funny take on how parents can find some time for themselves by providing some useful tips/ games/activities for the kids to do in the meantime. Some are so cool and hilarious that surely toddlers will get a kick out of doing it . There are about 50 of such activities so lot of options for parents to choose from in rotation. Some of my favourite ones are How tall and I? A portrait of Rest. RailRoad to restoration. Whats in my butt?

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This is such a funny book with lots of good tips for parents when they are feeling a bit lazy or just need a mini break! The illustrations are cute and I think little kids would also get a kick out of the different, fun things they can do.

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As the parent of a four year old and a newborn, this was right up my alley. I would love nothing more than to play with my toddler without moving, and/or play with him while engaged in feeding the new one! Therefore, this book and all of its suggestions on activities for seated or laying down parents to entertain small children was equal parts hilarious and completely practical. I can’t wait to try out some of the suggestions!

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Review to come August 10th on blog (and a few weeks later on Goodreads and Amazon). I received this book from Netgalley in exchange of an honest review. I am not a parent myself, but I have done lots of babysitting, I worked at daycares and other places. So while I don't know what it is to have kids 24/7, I do know that kids can tire you out. Haha. This book looked really interesting and I am really happy I was able to read it! So, you are a parent, or you work with kids, and you want to play a game, but you are just too tired. Well, this book is perfect for you! Because all you have to do is lie down. Yep, it is that simple. Either on the floor or couch, just lie down. You may need some small things to go along with, but some of these fun ideas don't need that and require the kids to get you items or use the toys they have. The ideas were so much fun to read and at times I just loved how creative they were and how much fun they were. Not just for the kids btw, but also for the parents. Some of my favourite games from this book are: Secret agents (you are the spy boss and you give your kid a series of tasks), Horizontal Hokey Pokey (aka dance while lying on the floor), Roll the Burrito (use a blanket, lie in the middle, let your kid add ingredients (toys etc.) and then roll it all up), Couch fishing (I remember doing that when I was young, so much fun). And there are many other games that sounded like a delight to me!  The book is also full with illustrations to go with the fun exercises/things to do and I really love their style, they really made it even more fun~ All in all, Highly Recommended! I am sure this book will be used a lot, I just love that parents can take a bit of a rest and still have fun with their kids.

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This was such an amazing and funny book every parent should have on their shelf or e-reader! It haas 50 games you can play with a kid while lying down or sitting comfortably on a sofa while your young one is busy with the tasks. There are also bonus sections for almost every game so you basically get two games instead of one. Would certainly use these games myself and recommend the book to my friends! Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the free e-copy!

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Gosh, I needed this book this week. While my kids are a bit older than the targeted audience, this book was a nostalgic look at the challenges of the younger years and a reminder that no matter how old they are, parenting is exhausting, and you can use all the tips! The idea is so clever and we may even have since implemented some of these suggestions with our bigger kids. This book would make the perfect baby shower gift (or maybe 1st birthay gift for the parents...when they actually never stop moving!!) Thank you to the publisher for my gifted copy. As always, all thoughts and opinions are my own.

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This book has come into my life at the perfect time. As a tired mom of an energetic toddler, I’m always looking for a second to lie down! These are absolutely PERFECT quick games to play with your toddler and rest. Two birds, one stone! The illustrations are colorful, inclusive and attractive. The language is simple and easily understandable. It’s a super quick read and you can just open any page and have an activity to do with your toddler. Love it! Can only recommend further!

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IF I ever were to have friends with children, I definitely get this for them. It has a lot of interesting ideas, some of them being tried and true classics, some of them things I'd never thought of before. When dealing with kids constantly it is easy to get overwhelmed making it difficult to find things to keep the rascals entertained. This book is the solution.

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I really enjoyed Horizontal Parenting--great for the exhausted parent and the older grandparent! It reminded me of my mom encouraging my children to roll the wooden cars (and eventually matchbox cars) on the:"Nonna highway'! While the book may be tongue-in-cheek, the ideas aren't bad and truly would be enjoyable for most kids while still engaging with them, rather than sitting them in front of the television or other device to entertain them.

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This is the most painfully relatable book, esp for a mom with chronic fatigue. I have plans to utilise every. Single. One. Of. These, and am so excited. Awesome illustrations and funny options with great references, this is a win win for the ages. Crushed it!

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This is a funny read for the very tired parent who just wants a way to get a bit of rest. I was surprised to find some ideas that were actually games that kids will enjoy. It will make a great gift for expectant parents, especially if it's their second or third.

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Have you ever watched Bluey and wondered how to be as fun of a parent as them? Well, this is filled with ideas of silly activities and games that you can do WHILE laying down! This would be a great gift for the tired parent in your life! I couldn't tell if this was intended to be serious or satirical, but in the end, it provided a nice blend of both. I giggled while I nodded and filed some ideas away for later. I know my kids will love "Don't Wake the Giant" (kids creep around trying not to wake the giant who comes to life with a roar), "I Lava You" (parent lies with pile of pillows on them and occasionally erupts), "Construction Site Night Night" (lay on stomach, kid uses parent's legs as crane), and "The Claw" (parent lays on couch holding tongs, kid gives directions to parent like in a claw game to try to grab prizes on the floor below). The activities just needed random household items. Some of the activities weren't especially restful or would be kind of messy, but I appreciated the variety. The illustrations were super cute and added to the fun vibe of this book. Thanks to NetGalley and Chronicle Books for this eARC!

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In Horizontal Parenting: How to Entertain Your Kid While Lying Down, Michelle Woo creates innovative ways to keep children occupied, stimulated, and learning all while lying down-- on the floor, cough, bed, wherever. The convenient tactics she lists in the book are effective not only for parents but also for babysitters, cousins, and more. It is near impossible not to have off days when taking care of children, so why not match (exponentially) those days with your child's energy? Even lazy days can be fun ones, and Woo undoubtedly demonstrates that sentiment here.

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I think this book will end up getting marketed along the lines of a silly novelty, and it kind of is, but it's also a really good resource. When you're exhausted -- especially if you're a parent with chronic illness -- it can be hard to think of creative ways to play with your kids in a way that doesn't exhaust you more. This book is packed with cute, clever ideas, some of which my three year old son absolutely adored. The illustrations are adorable, and the games are easy, fun, and totally doable.

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A bit of a one-note joke, but one that I felt into my bones. As a parent of a elementary school child and a toddler, my primary emotion is SO TIRED. SO SO TIRED. So the playtime ideas and underlying humor spoke to me. Not sure it needed more than 100 pages, but the art was charming and I may actually do some of these activities with my kids.

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This was such a cute book with some clever ideas off games to play with your kids while lying down. The illustrations are great. Some of the games are silly and a few of them made me laugh. This book is perfect for all parents. It would even make a great gift for first time parents.

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Horizontal Parenting by Michelle Woo is a fun and interesting gloom about finding things to do with your child whilst lying down. I’m not sure if this is satire or an actual resource but either way it’s useful.

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I received a copy from NetGalley for an honest review. I have a 3.5 year old at home and I CAN NOT WAIT to play the games mentioned in here with him. He's going to love them...especially the "Guess what's on my butt" game! This is the new book I'm giving to all my new parent friends for their sanity and giggles. I love that it has practical hilarious games to do!

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I loved this book. It was funny and practical! The art is so cute! This would be a great gift for any parent!

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Hysterical. I read this while my kid was running around, which always makes me tired, but at least this time I was laughing while yawning. This would be a good a great gift for parents at their children's first birthday party.

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Guys: I don't even know how to explain to you how validating this book is.  I've been helping raise kids, while also living with chronic debilitating illnesses & disabilities for 27 years now.  Very often, that raising occurs from a horizontal position, out of necessity.  Oh, today we're have vertigo for no goddamn reason? Great day to play Auntie NTE is the troll under the bridge who won't let you pass. Oh, goodie, the treatment I had last week that was supposed to only have 1 day of side effects has going on 9+ now? Excellent: Lemme introduce you to a little game I like to call 'I'm going to watch you build a city out of literally anything you want, and then we're going to critique it together for its supervillain weaknesses.' That's just how much of my childrearing has happened, and there have definitely been times I've felt ... less than, or judged by other parents. But this book? Is just ALLL the nonsense I taught my niblings & godchildren & random young children I was in charge of so that I could play with them from the most flat position possible, plus a bunch I didn't think of, that I am definitely going to cycle into usage after pandemic-time (I'm lucky the 15 year old still wants to play regular board games with me, I doubt she'd go this far).  And it's not like you have to be disabled &/or chronically ill to find this book helpful: I'm sorry, but if you're a parent and you're going to try to tell me that you've never felt 1 billion times more exhausted than your child, I just ... somebody should be studying you in a lab somewhere, probably.  I don't know anybody who hasn't laid down on the couch and let their kid take their fake blood pressure and listen to their 'Harm beeps*' for 15 minutes, just because letting them play doctor means you get to sit.  still.  Because every mom/dad/aunt/Grammy/caregiver I know? Wants a NAAAAAAP.  Would sacrifice a succulent to Satan for just ten minutes of resting their weary bones.  I don't know any kind of parent other than 'permanently exhausted': I'm not even sure they exist outside of legend. Which makes Horizontal Parenting perhaps the most beneficial parenting book you could gift to a parent, ever.  I mean, it's also funny, and it's got cute illustrations and it doesn't take itself too seriously, so it's got all that going for it, but let's be real: the selling points are the games.  Tell us your secrets! Games like "Crime Scene" where you hand your kid a roll of painter's tape and sprawl out on the floor while they 'investigate' around you; extra bonus points for moms who've been listening to true crime podcasts with their littles in the car, because I absolutely can think of three kids off the top of my head (average age 10) who would play the shit out of this game. She's got a "Roll the Burrito" game that my kids and I used to play in pizza form (loosely based on the book Pete's A Pizza; Find you a burrito book, this one is also about counting,  and now you've got three horizontal activities in one... you're halfway to a whole learning unit!)  Play "Don't Wake the Giant" (you're the giant), and then after you've rested, dig out Don't Wake Daddy  and let your kids know real, true anxiety.  Go for the revenge play, and become the "New Baby" they have to care for.  So! Many! Ideas! (Easily adapted for low energy days/middle energy days/high energy days.) Got A Little Artist? Let them capture your good side. I also love that the author refrained from calling this "lazy parenting", which I have no doubt is a judgey label that many would apply to this kind of behavior, but they'd be wrong.  Do you know what your kids need from you? Love. Time. Attention. Can you give all those things while also being flat on your back/side/stomach? Absolutely.  Don't let ableism and capitalism screw with your definition of what parenting - and especially good parenting - is.  Paying attention to your kids while also meeting your own needs for rest, so that after you're finished being horizontal, you can be more fully engaged with whatever comes next? Is GOOD PARENTING, I promise. In fact, in the spirit of community parenting, I'm just going to add in my niblings' favorite from my really exhausted days.  Backwards Rolling Zoo.  It means they have to transport literally every animal - stuffed, action figure sized, ginormous, who cares - into the room, one laundry basket at a time, past you, telling you about what kind of animal it is, and any facts they know about they animal. Heck let 'em make stuff up, tell you all about the Heffalump and Woozles - it doesn't matter, because all you're required to do is lay there, make agreeable noises as they parade past, and sometimes ask a question you know they know the answer to, because you've read them the books they're telling you the animal facts from, so you already know them too! My nephew called it the Backwards Rolling Zoo; his sister called it the Stuffie Parade, even though 3/4 of the animals weren't stuffies.  It doesn't matter, because it buys you a good half hour/hour of stillness, because they have to gather the animals, and "good zookeepers would never let the animals wander, so they have to make sure they go back in their cages/homes" so they also have to put them away, and they get to show off how smart they are: Wins all around! I acquired my copy through NetGalley, for an honest review, which is that this book is excellent, especially if you have an exhausted caregiver of young people in your life. In fact, I'm mad it doesn't come out til September.  I need copies to give out now. *My oldest nephew, who turns 25 this year, holy shit, used to call heartbeats "harm beeps".  Ugh.  Growing up is stupid.

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A funny little book for tired parents of active toddlers and kiddos. Part satire part useful suggestions for activities, it has the right amount of text to keep even bleary-eyed parents focused. A good book to give as a joke to new parents.

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Horizontal Parenting is a hilarious tongue in cheek guide for tired worn out parents. It is full of fun and clever ideas on how to entertain your kids while lying down and resting. While this is obviously ideal for most tired, run down, worn out parents, I do believe this actually beneficial for those caregivers who are on bedrest or otherwise laid up and still wish to have fun with their kids. So pick up this book for its comedic factor, but stay and actually try some of these games! You might find brand new ways to connect with your kids, grandkids, or any other bored small humans in your life!

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Just requested this book an hour or two ago and read it in, almost, one sitting. It’s hilarious. My kids are five and six now and I could still see implementing some of these if needed. I don’t know if it would be a good baby shower present (for a first kid) as you may need to live through a bit of toddlerhood first but definitely a great present for any parent or guardian having a second (or more) or welcoming a toddler that won’t stop moving. Hilarious. Informative. Adorable.

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Horizontal Parenting: How to Entertain Your Kid While Lying Down by Michelle Woo is a how-to book on how to play with your kids, even if you are tired. By allowing parents to lay there, kids are encouraged to use their imagination in a variety of ways. Examples including pretending to be a road so your kids can drive their cars around your back or posing as a model so your child can paint your portrait. Many of the ideas are simple, don't require many supplies are easy for even smaller children to participate in. I also enjoyed the Bonus Points section for making the activities more interesting or challenging for older kids. The book features sweet illustrations by Dasha Tolstikova that add great dimension and instruction for the activities they portray. With over 50 activities included, this book would be a wonderful gift to a new parent but is also a great book for anyone looking for easy, simple activities to do with children that don't require a lot of energy or space. Note: I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review.

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Spectacular and Amazing. My siblings are ten and thirteen years younger than me. So, I can relate to the never-ending need to play, jump, and destroy any sense of peace that children possess. This book would have saved me so many headaches and provided me with so many more minutes of precious sleep (my siblings are older now). It has tons of practical and ingenious ways to entertain kids, and dare I say, adults too. I am looking forward to getting my hands on it for future reference.

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