The Asperkid's (Secret) Book of Social Rules, 10th Anniversary Edition

The Handbook of (Not-So-Obvious) Neurotypical Social Guidelines for Autistic Teens

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Pub Date 21 Jun 2022 | Archive Date 21 Jun 2022

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Being a teen or tween is tough for anyone. And if you're on the Autism Spectrum, life can feel like a game you're playing without knowing the rules. Jennifer Cook knows - she's been there! Her internationally bestselling handbook is the key to unlocking those unwritten, often confusing, not-so-obvious social guidelines and bolstering confidence, all at once.

Finally, teens can play the game of life with instructions. The 10th Anniversary Edition of The (Secret) Book of Social Rules reveals the essential secrets behind the baffling social codes surrounding making and keeping friends, dating, and catastrophic conversation pitfalls, with all-new content on social media and talking about neurodiversity. It's no wonder Jennifer's is the navigation tool tens of thousands of fans have come to love! Full of brand-new funny illustrations, take-it-from-me explanations, and comic strip examples, this Book of the Year award winner is real, positive, and speaks from the heart (without ever sounding like your mother's guide to manners). It's confidence, humor, and smarts. For the Human Spectrum.

Being a teen or tween is tough for anyone. And if you're on the Autism Spectrum, life can feel like a game you're playing without knowing the rules. Jennifer Cook knows - she's been there! Her...

Advance Praise

Not only is The Asperkid's Secret Book of Social Rules a book for Asperkid teens and tweens, it is also a book for their parents, caregivers and for anyone who grew up Aspie and wants to understand themselves and the world around them better. Being undiagnosed until in my 40s, this is the book I wish I had when I was a teenager. Thank you Jennifer, for not only making these social rules no longer 'secret' but for helping create a social survival guide that helps promote acceptance, enrichment, inspiration and empowerment for Asperkids everywhere!

-Karen Krejcha, Executive Director of Autism Empowerment (, Aspie, GRASP 2012 DSM Award winner, and loving mom of two sons with autism

I completely agree with Jennifer, and think the way she says it is just great; these skills and explanations are absolutely necessary to young people's success.

-Temple Grandin

Not only is The Asperkid's Secret Book of Social Rules a book for Asperkid teens and tweens, it is also a book for their parents, caregivers and for anyone who grew up Aspie and wants to understand...

Available Editions

EDITION Other Format
ISBN 9781787758377
PRICE £13.99 (GBP)

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Featured Reviews

Welcome to the 10th anniversary edition of Asperkids Secret Book of Social Rules. Do not be thrown by the term "asperkids". While the term aspergers is not used in the UK for diagnosis at present, the author wrote this book in 2012 and it is he term used when she was diagnosed. She goes on to talk about the various preferences for "name calling" from neurodiverse, neurodivergent, person with autism or aspergers to autistic person. It is all personal. Jennifer herself coined the term "asperkids" when penning this book.
The book acts as her backstory. She grabbed a notebook one day as her friend attempted to explain something and so began her attempt at noting down social rules to help her navigate the every day.
So what does the book consist of?: a long list of 140 social rules that Jennifer picked up along the way, 30 mini chapters about some of these rules where she breaks them down, along with some practical advice and some comic strip to help illustrate.
The easiest way to access this book is to dip innand out as needed. It is word heavy as there is so much advice so not easily read in one or two sittings.. The chapter headings are given in metaphoric form with a cartoon to illustrate the social issue. Metaphors are particularly difficult for my teen son to understand so these didn't make much sense until he read on. That is the idea though - an unintelligible social issue osexplained to make it more accessible. An issues like "sorting mountains from molehills" is broken down into more memorable ways.
I found it best to read this as a parent and teacher of autistic teens and then discuss relevant issues. Eg 178 on "hygiene" came up quickly with a teen boy! There is advice on a wide range of issues: friendship, flirting, school, self advocacy and knowing your strengths, social media, etc. Personally I find a hard copy easier to navigate. My son would pick it up to browse every now and then, whereas he would have to be handed the ebook to remind him it existed. This shiny new edition is due June 2022.
However , like all advice, it will not suit all persons - it doesn't offer definitive answers to each issue. It makes some assumptions too - that the teens are heteronormative when it comes to flirting and dating, and that authority figures can be trusted. We do have to bear in mind that this is a subjective set of rules and experiences being shared and that is why we can dip in and out with the ones that personally apply.
Overall, the author attempts to connect with the reader in a kind and understanding manner. She has navigated her own path through the autism spectrum into adulthood and is passing on her advice with best intentions. Like parent or caregiver to child - advice is given and you choose whether to take it on board before navigating your own path. For my son and I, there are lots of useful tips to glean and a few we can skip over. We are just thankful that people like Jennifer, who have navigated diagnosis have left us with some tips, so that we have a starting point and are not navigating our journey in darkness. #TheAsperkidsSecretBookofSocialRules10 #Netgalley

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💙 I just finished reading The Asperkid's Secret Book of Social Rules 10th Anniversary Edition by Jennifer Cook and I can honestly say that I wish I had read it years ago! I have two children on the spectrum and I've watched them struggle to connect with the neurotypical world around them with varying degrees of difficulty. We have read so many books, attended classes, and sought out therapies to demystify autism and help them grow up in a world that is often cruel to any neurodivergent folk. Until now I have not seen any books that were written FOR my kids FROM a fellow autistic person and it was a game changer. The way Jennifer explains all the "rules" is sweet and simple but her personal stories add a depth that drives home the reason behind her advice. My middle schooler loved the illustrations and asked me to print out some of the sticky note tips from the end of the book. I really appreciate the authors transparency with her struggles AND her success. The book constantly reinforces the fact that autistic people are not a monolith and are each unique in their relationships with the world around them. I am thankful to Netgalley for offering this book to review and I will be purchasing a physical copy for my kids.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5 Stars across the board!

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*****5 Stars!

“I wasn’t defective, I was different.”

First I would like to thank Jessica Kingsley Publishers and NetGalley for allowing me to read an arc of this book. I am honored to have been given the chance to read it and give an honest review.

This book was not only very beautifully written but also extremely uplifting, it was an absolute joy to read. Being a Neurodivergent adult I found this book to be very relatable and it is a book that I think everyone ought to read. Not only would it be helpful for other Neurodivergent individuals trying to learn and understand themselves, but it would also be extremely beneficial for Neurotypicals to read as well to help them better understand their fellow Neurodivergent loved ones and friends. Growing up there were a lot of things I didn’t quite understand about myself and I was left to assume it was just me who was struggling with things that everyone around me seemed to understand perfectly. Had I read this book growing up I would have been assured earlier on that it was not just me and there were other people who shared very similar issues and struggles.

The Asperkid’s (Secret) Book of Social Rules is highly detailed with beautiful art to help further explain the information within the book, which made it very interesting. Each page in this book was filled with positive messages and kind and understanding words. This book assures the reader that it is perfectly okay to be different and to embrace yourself for who you are, which is a message I think the world needs to receive. This is a book I would highly recommend!

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This is a great book for anyone who is autistic, or knows someone who is. I wish this had existed when I was in school trying to navigate social situations and understand the rules that everyone around me seemed to already know. The Book fo Social Rules will also help neurotypicals better understand how their autistic children, friend, and acquaintances see and approach the world. Cook's book is a recipe for better understanding all around!.

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I need to say straight off that I am a neurodivergent adult who, in their fifties, is only just being diagnosed as autistic.

We have not read the original version of this book, but then for 45 of my fifty years, I didn't know or understand I needed to. But then, if ten years ago I had, or been pointed to this, I would have been so much happier and more confident with my own self, and more importantly the world with me.

I have no doubt from all I have gleaned from the near 300 pages that this new edition will be incredibly useful for adults and youngsters alike.

It is written in a very easy to understand, logical format, and in no way is it patronising or read like a medical or clinical paper.

The book comprises 140 Need to know Rules in Bullet Points, that you can dip into and review as reminders. There follows 30 mini-chapters, each expanding on a selection of the Need-to-Knows which explain and translate the Neurotypical rules that we need to understand. Frankly, I was surprised how many I, in my mid-fifties, still needed help with an explanation of. The explanations include multiple examples, including many drawn from the authors own personal experience of being neurodivergent and bringing up a neurodivergent family.

Following those immensely helpful sections are some 'Stickies' that didn't need much explanation, but in the author's words '"...sure needed to be said." Hot on the heals of those, and rounding the book off are a series of fun 'Practice Sessions in comic strip style when the reader can practise everything they have learnt.

I am in awe of everything in this book. It is so comprehensive, so very insightful and unbelievable relevant to what those of us who are discovering they are on the spectrum — no matter the age.

And her's another thing; a really BIG thing. Having said how helpful this book will be to neurodivergent kids and adults, it will be immensely important to our family, co-workers and true friends.

Top marks for a great book, one that I will need to re-read as my life changes as I change with the understanding each page brings.

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The Asperkid's (Secret) Book of Social Rules is a perfect read for parents and teachers of Aspies. It's a great guide on how to teach Aspies, social norms, and common courtesy in order to help them navigate the neuro-typical world. At the same time, it's an educational read to better understand children and people with Aspergers.

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Absolutely eye-opening for those of us who suspect either we or someone we know is on The Spectrum. So many of the details made me say, "Wait a minute! That sounds like..." Issues like navigating social media, receiving criticism, dating, and more are detailed gently and with humor and helpful ideas. I was a bit distracted by the few grammatical and layout errors, but once this book has been refined, I will definitely be purchasing this book for my high school library and recommending it to teachers and staff.

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This is wonderful! I love how you are given lists and what is expected normally to get along in the world. It does a great job explaining baffling mysteries of the neurotypical world and how to navigate those foreign waters. This is a book any teen (and adult) on the spectrum might want to keep handy and refer to again and again as different situations come up. The explanations are very easy to understand and very helpful. Now i want the same book for adults and situations adults face that teens might not be facing.

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I love this book! It was so helpfully and funny and it made me smile a lot! I hope everyone else enjoys this book as much as I do. I've never been assessed for autism, but I probably should be, and this book really helped me understand some of the social rules that I had been confused about before. I'll definitely use it's tips!

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