Here and Queer

A Queer Girl's Guide to Life

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Pub Date May 31 2022 | Archive Date Jul 31 2024

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Here and Queer is a helpful, friendly guide full of support and advice about living your best queer life, written for girls. 

This vibrant, inclusive guide, designed for all kinds of girls, is designed to help you be the strongest, proudest, happiest version of yourself! A celebration of the gift of queerness, it's packed full of heartfelt advice, comforting stories, and stylish illustrations, and will give you the tools you need to explore your own identity, on your own terms.

Author and YouTuber Rowan Ellis uses her personal experience to take you through queer life, from coming out and dealing with tough stuff, right through to finding friendships and celebrating Pride. There are also brilliant guest essays from contributors across the LGBTQ+ spectrum.

The book opens with guidance on understanding how you feel as a queer girl. From choosing your pronouns to navigating different labels and identities, Ellis helps girls understand that they are in control of their own identity, and that it's ok to not be sure straight away.

Moving onto a glossary of queer termsHere and Queer helps introduce girls to the rainbow of definitions and terms which help queer people understand who they are and how they feel. The book then moves onto advice on coming out, for many one of the hardest steps to take on their journey to truly living their best lives.

Following are chapters on sex and romance, including helpful advice about your first time, as well as guides on consent and knowing how to make sure you build a healthy and supportive relationship with your partner.

There are also sections on dealing with bullies and stigma, finding your community, and looking after your mental health, including advice on how to help you find extra support if you need it. The book also has more information on queer ladies in history, and on the fight for equality undertaken by brave activists throughout history and today.

Stylishly designed with cool illustrations, this helpful, friendly guide will help all queer girls navigate the challenges of discovering and embracing their identities and flourishing in their own skins!
Here and Queer is a helpful, friendly guide full of support and advice about living your best queer life, written for girls. 

This vibrant, inclusive guide, designed for all kinds of girls, is...

Available Editions

EDITION Other Format
ISBN 9780711264755
PRICE $14.99 (USD)

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Average rating from 36 members

Featured Reviews

I've been a fan of Rowan Ellis' videos for a while now, and I adored how much her very identifiable voice and style shone through in Here and Queer. My immeasurable respect for the author aside, this book made my heart so happy as an individual who can identify with much of the book's themes and focal topics, but infinitely more so with the realization as I went on that teens today have access to such a vibrantly inclusive, infinitely validating and broadly informative resource, with all the fawn-worthy illustrations, mega-relatable references and fantastic input from internet activists it boasts.

It might seem trite but is worth repeating that a book so freshly and irresistibly resonant with its intended audience - and the respectful way it leaves ample room for the flux and fluidity of feelings and identities - was barely imaginable just a short time ago, and I really hope it'll help teens today find the advice they're hunting for and figure out the stuff they need to with fewer hiccups and more mettle than those who have come before them with the aid of the fantastic reserve of books such as Here and Queer now available to them.

Thank you to NetGalley and Frances Lincoln Children's Books for kindly passing on this ARC! 💫

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This is the ultimate guide for teens to learn about gender and sexuality in a non-judgemental, factual and healthy way no matter what their sexual orientation or gender identity may be. The book is comprised of 3 parts which including information related to: coming out, relationships (including sex), and finding/joining the LGBTQ community. The book is filled with terminology and definitions, straight forward explanations, as well as debunked myths and clarity around stereotypes or common misinformation. I think this is a wonderful book for teens who are curious or questioning their gender identity or sexual preferences, and want to know more. I think that any teen would benefit from the information in this book (I'm sure adults could too to be honest!) but I think it is aimed at teen girls who identify as queer. The information about sex is pretty standard for teen books of this kind, with explanations of terms and clear statements about consent and peer pressure. I would recommend this book for teens, and potentially preteens but would recommend them reading with supervision or at least an adult who is aware of the content and whom they could ask questions to. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for giving me the opportunity to read and review this book!

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This is an A M A Z I N G resource for kids & teens to help really answer some of the big questions they might be having!

I feel as if the author did a remarkable job at hitting all the key aspects that a reader of that age group might be wondering about when it comes to how they identify.

This is a book that I am looking forward to seeing all shelves everywhere because this is the type of books & informational texts we need to be putting out there!

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I’ve loved Rowan Ellis’ YouTube videos for years, so I was really excited to learn that she was writing an informational guide for queer girls. This is the type of book I wish I could’ve read back when I was a teenager. It covers so many topics like coming out, different labels, activism, sex, consent, and the history of pride and queer women throughout the years

It’s written in a really easy to read way and the illustrations by Jacky Sheridan added a lot of charm. I appreciated how inclusive the book is, it includes trans girls and makes it clear that it’s not just a guide for cis girls. There are also a couple guest essays that cover topics like disability, religion, and more.

The book covers a lot of ground, but being that it’s under 200 pages there are some parts that feel glossed over. Like, when talking about sex muffing is brought up, explaining that it’s digital penetration/stimulation of the inguinal canals. But the book doesn’t describe what the inguinal canals actually are or safe practices for that particular act. Also dental dams only get one sentence. It just seems like these are things that maybe younger readers won’t already have knowledge about but the book isn’t giving them the full picture.

But overall I think this is a really valuable book and will help out so many people.

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I am so, so glad this book exists. Here and Queer is a brilliant and gentle "how to guide" for young (and older) girls about being queer and all that it entails from coming out to being an ally and beyond. I know this book will help so many people and for that it is an instant 5 star for me (added bonus that the art work is absolutely gorgeous).

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Oh how I wish I had this book available to me as a kid. The author uses the phrase "quick stop" through queer history, self exploration, and representation to describe this book; And I can't think of a better explanation myself. With fun art and approachable prose throughout this is a great intro to queerness for young girls.

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This is a great little support book for young queer girls looking to figure out their identity or learn more about the basics of queer community or history!

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Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers.

I love Rowan Ellis’ videos on YouTube and so was super happy to see that she had written a book, and one that I certainly felt (in hindsight) I wish I had had as a teenager. I relate to a lot of the themes brought up in this book, and hopefully this book will become a staple for queer teen/YA girls or even people questioning of any age – this is not a sit down and read it cover to cover book (and nor should it be) but seems more a ‘take it in as you need it’. This concise (relatively) book is packed with knowledge, in a non-judgemental and comforting way.

The book is also beautifully illustrated by Jacky Sheridan.

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"They tell us about fear and suffering, isolation, and loss. I don’t ever want to deny the experiences of people in out community who go through these things. But I think it’s so vital to talk about what a joyous and wonderful experience being queer is."

As a 19y/o queer girl, this book is so resourceful. Almost every question you might have as a young queer person is answered here. With accounts by a few queer people which are as authentic as they could get. It addresses issues you might have or will ever face. This book is not just for cis girls. It's for EVERYONE.

I learnt so much about myself and our community as a whole. I'll dive into all the book/movie/show suggestions given in the book.

Thank you Netgalley and Rowan Ellis for giving me this ARC.

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What a brilliant book!
This book is so perfect for young people!
It's easy to read, it has the necessary humour, and most importantly it's informative.

The illustrations are bright and bold and they fit just perfectly with the theme and style of the book.

This book should be required reading for every secondary school student, and should be in every public and school library across the country!
This is great for everyone! Not just people within the LGBTQ+ community.

Well done Rowan Ellis - you will certainly be changing young peoples lives for the better with this book!

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World, do yourself a favour. Gift this book to someone younger you love. It's definitely worth it!

An amazing compilation of well-informed explanations and illustrations regarding gender and sexuality meant for young readers and beginners. Even the adults would definitely need this guidebook because honestly speaking we don't usually go for the bland looking non-fiction books even when it would explain things way better or otherwise.

The illustrations are so eye-popping and so well done. Perfect! And the presentation like a colourful graphic novel gives all the perfect vibes for the youngsters to pick up this book.

The information provided will teach the reader about the various stereotypes, the misconceptions as well as the taboos that are related to sexuality.

I need a copy.

Thank you, Quarto Publishing Group Frances Lincoln Children's Books, for the advance review copy.

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A digital copy of this book was provided by NetGalley

This book is perfect for teens, not only the ones that are or could be queer, it helps to create awereness of the ups and downs that LGTBT+ community lives everyday.

As for the queer kids this book gives them a lovely mesage: "you are not alone and you can be happy been who you are".

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With adorable illustrations and an uplifting tone, this book provides a positive and educational introduction for every sapphic reader (especially teens) to sapphic and queer women’s culture. Personal anecdotes between the more serious chapters seem to lighten the mood as well as spirits!
This should be present in every school library to help young queer women and the people around them understand themselves and each other better.

Thank you, NetGalley and Rowan Ellis for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

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I adored this book, it certainly had the feel of this book is Anti-Racist, I have already ordered this through my book buyer and cannot wait to recommend it to teens and children that come into the store. We have needed something like this for a while within the non-fiction section for kids and its come at the perfect time.

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„Here and Queer“ is the book I wish I had when I was younger and struggling with my sexuality.

I loved every single part of this book but my favorite part is probably the introduction because it includes a lot of important things and aspects!

The book deals with different kinds of sexualities but also with other important topics like consent and queer history. I already knew a lot of things but I also learned a lot of new things I didn’t knew before.

The lengths of the different texts made it really easy to understand everything and the bright and colorful drawings made the whole book even more fun to read.

Of course not every sexuality and every historic event was covered but this book covered a lot of very important ones and if that’s not enough or you want to know more about specific events/sexualities you can still look them up!

This book is not just for queer teen girls but also for the straight best friends who wants to learn more about sexualities. I would recommend this book to everyone who’s interested to learn new things!

Thank you to NetGalley, Rowan Ellis and the Quarto Publishing Group for this EARC!

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The author says it herself: "it was exactly what I needed but didn't have when I was a queer teen."
This book is a perfect resource for any queer youth about pretty much anything queer, from how to figure out who you are, to affirming yourself in a group, to finding others like you.
Because it is written by someone who has lived many of these experiences, it is full of wisdom and little thoughts that are validating and honest. It does talk about the more difficult parts of being queer, but it isn't the focus of the book.
A must have if you work with young people ages 12 and up.

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Young members of the LGBTQ+ community are often left alone to navigate and this is a good and extensive guide that can help them
Highly recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this ARC, all opinions are mine

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This was a lovely book. The writing was easy to relate to and digest. You can tell the writers really want people to understand and feel included. This is the kind of book that I wish more people would read so they could educate themselves. The world would be a much better place for it.

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I loved this book. It was exactly the kind of education I wish we’d had in school. I felt like there was so much information from history of queer identity to reasons to love being queer to not worrying about shaving if you so choose, while all being presented in a fun and light manner. Focusing on the queer girl experience this book still had so much quality information that I think anyone could appreciate and learn from. One of those “you don’t need to be represented” to learn books. All stars

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This is precisely the kind of book I wish I'd had when I was growing up. It does such a wonderful job of answering the questions young girls and femmes may have about gender, sexuality, and such, while keeping things respectfully age appropriate and interesting! On top of that, the art and design of the book is INCREDIBLE. Young people have a right to information like this as they grow into their identities, and I think books like this have an important role in that. Here and Queer meets my expectation as a queer elder (can I call myself that at 32?) and if I had a preteen, I would definitely buy this for them!

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I’ve loved Rowan’s YouTube videos on LGBTQ+ topics for years, so I was really excited to learn that she was writing a guide for queer girls!! This was a brilliantly written, friendly and accessible guide to existing as a young queer girl.
I thought that the book was well structured and the illustrations added a really delightful touch to each page. I enjoyed the positive perspective on dating, mental health, sex, friendships, self-expression, bullying, and more. And as a young lesbian I believe I took anyway a lot of helpful advice from Rowan’s writing. Finally, it was a truly intersectional guide which I valued immensely.

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“How can I celebrate Pride if I don’t live near a parade?”

I bet that’s not a question you thought would be asked. Author Rowan Ellis has put together a comprehensive, easy-to-understand collection of history, essays, anecdotes, and thoughts to help young girls figure out their own approach to life. While the illustrations are bold and bright, and the language is often light and breezy, there is no question that she treats the subject and her audience seriously and with respect.

This is published by Frances Lincoln Children’s Books, and I would say this is aimed at young readers and teens, depending on how they are maturing. Kids develop feelings beyond friendship at different ages, and the intensity of feelings is also different for everyone.

I’m sure I’m not the only person who, as a kid, thought I knew and understood more about ‘life’ than I obviously did. Anything beyond the usual boy-girl relationships was generally never discussed, certainly not around children.

There is so much talk about sex, gender, and identity in the public sphere now, that young children use terms like “gay” as a general insult, not knowing what it means or why it would be considered insulting. They’ve just heard it as a negative. But they’ve heard it.

Unfortunately, there are always those who know how to pick their targets. One person was quoted in the book, saying, “I was bullied for being a lesbian before I even knew I was gay. I’m not going to lie—that was a wild ride.”

On the other hand, some kids recognise their friend is probably queer or gay before the friend has known it themselves. I remember hearing that one of my kid’s schoolmates discovered he was gay later in his teens and when he eventually came out, his friends surprised him by saying “Oh, we’ve always known that. So what?” That was nice. 😊

The author says that because this book was intended to be for everyone, and her experiences and knowledge weren’t going to be broad enough for such a big subject, she asked others to write essays and contribute. They share their problems and their joys.

“I didn’t want to sugarcoat or ignore experiences you might be familiar with, including homophobia and sexism. But I also didn’t want to fall into that gloomy trope of queer pain and suffering being all there is to our collective story.”

The book is divided it into three sections:

“Part One: Coming Out; Part Two: Doing It; Part Three: Finding Your Community”. Each part has chapters on different topics. It opens with finding out about yourself.

My Goodreads review has an illustration with the caption:
“ How Do I Know I’m Gay (or Bi, or Pan or...)?”

She says there’s no shortcut of 101 questions to ask yourself, but there are some ideas that can help.

“There are three things that feed into working out your sexuality. Let me explain.

My Goodreads review has an illustration with the caption:
“So, an important first step is trying to put aside how other people feel and focus on yourself.”

WHAT YOU DO is about how you might interact with others, like kissing, holding hands, or more. The title is accompanied by a highlighted heading.

Then HOW YOU IDENTIFY reminds readers there’s no rush, and you are in control of you. There is a long, skinny illustration of a person walking on a meandering, endless path from below the bottom of the page to beyond the top, passing by the words “Queer, non-binary, lesbian, bi”.

“It’s important to know that if you land on your coordinates on the LGBTQ+ map, you don’t have to stay there forever. Some people find their place on the map and make it their home. But it’s just as valid to be someone who finds themselves voyaging around the map. It’s okay to keep figuring things out about yourself, to change your identity or to develop feelings for people of genders you hadn’t felt romantically or sexually about before.”

I know a woman who dated boys originally, then lived happily in a lesbian relationship for several years, and later married a man she had known back when she was dating boys. They’ve been married with a child for over a decade. We go where the love is.

There is an extensive section on dating and romance. I’m sharing three illustrations of ideas for activities to do in public, private, or long distance, with people who are or might be like-minded. I will write out the text below, since it would be hard to read on a small screen.

Incidentally, I think many of these activities are good ideas for anyone wanting to make new friends, romantic or otherwise.

My Goodreads review has an illustration with the caption:
• Visit a gay book store together and pick out a book for each other
• Pack up a picnic and have a relaxing afternoon in the sun
• Try something new together, like a class or activity
• Visit a gay bar or club for an evening date if you’re old enough
• Find some nature to explore—whether it’s a full-on hike or just a stroll in the park together
• Try a classic: dinner and a movie”
My Goodreads review has three illustrations with the captions:
• Cook a recipe you’ve never tried before together
• Get creative with some arts and crafts
• Play a game together (whether a video game, board game, or even a puzzle)
• Build a blanket fort and watch a movie together inside”

• Send each other a date night/care package box and unbox them together
• Plan a remote movie night with webcams on and cinema snacks
• Order food for each other and have a surprise dinner date
• Play an online two-player game while you chat
• Create a mixtape playlist for each other and listen together”

All kinds of issues are discussed.

My Goodreads review has an illustration with the caption:
“Looking after your mental health on a day-to-day basis is so important. Too many of us wait until it gets bad before we think to do anything about it. It’s like a cup slowly filling up with water—as long as the water isn’t spilling over then it’s fine, right? We turn around to try and ignore the cup for a minute, but by the time we turn back, the water has already reached the top. But then the faucet is stiff and won’t turn off and the water is spilling onto the floor and, oh my God, is that an electric socket???”

There is a good vocabulary list of LGBTQI+ terms, along with the reminder that terms can mean different things to different people. As the book says “ After all, there isn’t an Official Global Queer Committee that decides what words we should use and what they should mean to everyone.”

There’s a reminder to check age appropriateness and restrictions for movies and entertainment. There’s a discussion of “what counts as sex?” which gets detailed enough to discuss the fact that laws apply to legal ages for different practices. This is to protect young people from abuse, and although this is written for the US, other countries and jurisdictions have laws to be aware of, too.

There is a list of “thinking points” (usually talking points, but this is to figure out your own head), and a good glossary, list of information resources, as well as some support services.

All in all, it’s a great book for young girls who want to know more, and it’s useful for older girls and women who probably wish they’d had this years before. But I’ll bet they find terms that are new to them, too. 😊

Here are websites where you can learn about the author and other contributors.

Thanks to NetGalley and Frances Lincoln Children’s Books for the copy for review.

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I absolutely loved this book! It was vibrant and colorful. It was extremely educational and helpful for different age groups, but mostly geared to teens and young adults. However I found this to be a book that anyone older than that would find relevance with.

It was not overdone and not too wordy. The information was delivered in a relatable and easy to understand method with some humor and relatable imagery.

Highly recommend this one!

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This is such a good guide for those who are questioning their sexuality as well as those who know. There is a lot of information about coming out, finding friends and support, and dealing with bullies, homophobia, etc. There are also many definitions and explanations of genders, identities, symbols, terms, and a quick history. The author provides resources, book and movie recommendations, and personal stories.

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