28 Disastrous Dates: A (Mostly True) Humourous Memoir

And Lessons Learned Along the Way

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Pub Date 12 May 2022 | Archive Date 15 Dec 2022

Description

***Ideal reader is someone who enjoys reading about disgusting, hilarious and sometimes verging on traumatic modern-day dating experiences. There are literally 28 individual dates in this book. If you're naturally light-hearted, don't take life too seriously and can see the humour in life's disasters, you'll enjoy this book. It is an intense roller-coaster read as the dates are back-to-back. If the above isn't you, you won't enjoy this book and best to give this one a miss.***

Poppy Mortimer is hungry for love. Will she find The One, or lose her appetite for men, forever?

Smart, attractive, and fueled by wide-eyed optimism, Poppy Mortimer leaves rainy England to start a new life—and find the perfect man—in exotic Australia. Surely somewhere out there, a Chris Hemsworth impersonator is just waiting to whisk her off her feet and show her the real charms of ‘Down Under’.

But as Poppy launches into 28 dates, ranging from the outright hysterical to borderline traumatic, it becomes clear she’s going to have to kiss a few frogs—assuming she doesn’t croak first. From the seven-foot giant with a disturbing workout practice, to the exclusive party that turns out to be a lot more than just cocktails and canapes, Poppy starts to wonder if she should sue Disney for giving her false hope.

With gusto, humour, and a lot of heart, Poppy digs deep into her past as a child of divorce, and her ongoing journey as a modern woman and devoted romantic. Through laughter, tears, and characters that are truly stranger than fiction, Poppy won’t stop until she finds true love—or something even greater.

Fans of Bridget Jones’s Diary and Sex and the City (or any person who wants to feel better about their own dating life) will love this book.

Excerpt:

Recently I got a text from a prospective date.

Let’s skip dinner, go back to yours and play Postman, where I’ll put my big package in your tiny slot.

Yep. Apparently, that behaviour is ‘acceptable' for a forty-year-old man to send to a woman he’s never met . . . And now he never will.

***Ideal reader is someone who enjoys reading about disgusting, hilarious and sometimes verging on traumatic modern-day dating experiences. There are literally 28 individual dates in this book. If...


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Average rating from 44 members


Featured Reviews

Good book well written, great feel good book for people don't want violence etc and want take themselves out of the current world and indulge in make believe

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Funny!! This book caught my eye immediately as the book title literally describes the content of the book entirely! Poppy goes through 28 disastrous dates, each very unique and funny. Learning what to do for the next date as well as what not to do. Very well written. The only thing that had me caught in some spots was the terms she uses as she’s from “Across the pond”. Would recommend to anyone whether married, dating or single themselves.

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This book was hilarious. I enjoyed reading her takes on her dates and the men they were with. I laughed out loud many times. Very funny read. Thanks to NetGalley, the author and the publisher for the ARC of this book in return for my honest review. Receiving this book in this manner had no bearing on this review.

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Oh, this was such a fun read. The author is British, but has dated in the UK, Australia and America, and the result is just hilarious. She sounds a really lovely person, and doesn't take herself too seriously. Even if the stories are exaggerated a little (and I suspect sadly that some are not!) they make for a great tale, which she tells really well.

Thoroughly enjoyable, laugh out loud, great fun, even for oldies like me that haven't dated in decades!
Thank you to NetGalley and Poppy Mortimer for allowing me access to the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

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This is a very, very funny book about disastrous dates over a period of 20 years. Each story is short and concise and hilarious. Some of the dates are beyond bad taste. It is remarkable how boorish some of these men are, in addition to being clueless. And Ms. Mortimer does not go easy on herself. The concluding chapter has good tips on dating, which ties back to the previous chapters. The book is a winner, and thoroughly enjoyable. I am 70, married to my beautiful wife, we've been together for decades, so we are blessed. You'll enjoy this book, even if you are a happy. long time married guy who still remembers his first date with his wife.

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A solid lighthearted read that made my worst dates feel like walks in the park compared to the author's stories! I appreciated her humor but not so much her sweeping generalizations (ex/ Americans talk too much). This would be a great airplane or beach read. I wish I could find more info about the author because she sounds super interesting, alas I'm struggling to find anything! Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

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This was such a cute funny read for anyone going through the dating pool
Or reflecting on their time spent their
It has a satc vibe which I loved and it was very humorous and heartfelt. Highly recommend
Reading abt Poppy’s adventures

Poppy Mortimer is hungry for love. Will she find The One, or lose her appetite for men, forever?

Smart, attractive, and fueled by wide-eyed optimism, Poppy Mortimer leaves rainy England to start a new life—and find the perfect man—in exotic Australia. Surely somewhere out there, a Chris Hemsworth impersonator is just waiting to whisk her off her feet and show her the real charms of ‘Down Under’.

But as Poppy launches into 28 dates, ranging from the outright hysterical to borderline traumatic, it becomes clear she’s going to have to kiss a few frogs—assuming she doesn’t croak first. From the seven-foot giant with a disturbing workout practice, to the exclusive party that turns out to be a lot more than just cocktails and canapes, Poppy starts to wonder if she should sue Disney for giving her false hope.

With gusto, humour, and a lot of heart, Poppy digs deep into her past as a child of divorce, and her ongoing journey as a modern woman and devoted romantic. Through laughter, tears, and characters that are truly stranger than fiction, Poppy won’t stop until she finds true love—or something even greater.

Fans of Bridget Jones’s Diary and Sex and the City (or any person who wants to feel better about their own dating life) will love this book.

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A super fun and easy read! 28 truly disastrous dates, I found my self laughing, cringing and unfortunately relating to a few dates!

I appreciated the trigger warnings on difficult chapters, and I loved reading the growth of Poppy throughout her dates and how she figured out exactly what she wanted. Recommend for an easy, light read if you’re looking for something fun and entertaining.

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I love memoirs. There's something about them that I just enjoy them a little more than I do some fictions books. 28 Disasterous Dates ticks all the boxes. The writing is just perfect and I laughed a lot.

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Funny book, plenty of laughs, and there's a heart, and underlying message. One I recommend. Thanks to NetGalley for a copy of this book

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Warm and sparking, it felt like listening to a friend recounting date, a mix of funny and glad-it-wasn't-me!

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These dates made me laugh with humor and at times disgust. I greatly enjoyed reading these traumatic dates and loved format in which she presented the dates so us. If you are a fan of reality TV you will love this book.

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A good book to learn from. All in the dating world should read this. The writer includes lessons learned and what she would prefer to have happen on a date. With this many bad dates, you might wonder if she is being to particular, but I can assure you that all of these are very bad dates.

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These dates had me literally laughing out loud. Poppy's writing style is so relatable and made me feel like I was chatting with a friend. I really enjoyed this read and I couldn't put it down. I really liked the "What I learned" section of each date. Very descriptive and I felt like I was on the date with her! Awesome read and will definitely recommend!!

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I enjoyed this! I like the author's writing style and sense of humor about all her disastrous dates. Even in some of the stories that were quite disturbing. (Seriously, some of those images are seared into my brain forever, so I'm impressed the author was able to write so light-heartedly about them.)

Definitely recommend for humorous non-fiction fans.

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Thank you, Netgalley, for the ARC!

I usually don’t rate memoirs, but this compilation of failed dates was so funny and chaotic. I can only dream of going on dates that hectic but maybe with different dudes.

Mortimer’s narrative was extremely relatable and hilarious. The writing was smooth and concise. I loved how she divided the chapters into three parts and how she named each chapter after the date in matching formats. It’s uncanny that she managed to date so many red flags but I too would make a comedic work with it and profit. What is a failed date if not a funny story afterwards?

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If you have ever been on a bad date! Read this book... You will cry laughing at this story and learn a few life lessons on dating along the way.

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This book was a fun frolic through a woman's dating life across many years and 2 continents. Hilariously illustrates the pitfalls of online dating/apps. Makes me count my blessings and cross my fingers that I never have to experience dating ever again!

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This book was a very funny read. Especially for people that have had their fair share of bad dates.
Poppy was very relatable and it felt like she was a friend of mine telling me all about her dates. She kept me interested the entire time with her humor and wit. Wonderful read and I definitely recommend!

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I love the way that Poppy Mortimer makes us laugh, cringe and see the lighter side of looking for Mr Right! This book is written with humour and all the feels, perfect to remind the reader that life is for living!
The journey that Poppy takes us on is the reality of dating, being able to laugh at yourself and is well worth the read!

Thanks to the publisher, NetGalley and the very funny Poppy Mortimer for the opportunity to read this wonderful book.
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

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Thanks to NetGalley, publisher and author, for the free copy of this book, in exchange for my review. This was a cute compilation of funny and scarily close to home, dating stories. I laughed and cringed plenty. I felt like these would be stories I hear from girlfriends on a night out between sipping wine, beer and cocktails and laughing hysterically. I enjoyed this a lot!

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A book full of Dates! It was really funny for me nd kind of interesting. I liked the way she made nicjnames for all these dates and the fact that from every single one of them taught her something is super meaningful for me. This book can teach people how to see the bright side of "bad" dates, that I find really important.

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I absolutely loved this, I was cringing, howling with laughter and cringing again. I love how the author described her experiences so much that I could picture them, some definitely not so great to visualise (thanks for the warnings). It took me back to my dating days and how my friends would be waiting to hear of the disasters that I'd dated. Truly enjoyed this.

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This book reminded me why I quit dating. I haven't been on quite as many first dates as the author but have had similar, albeit less exciting, experiences. Her adventures were pretty awful but she had a good sense of humor about them and told her stories rather fairly. Minor errors observed such as continuity issues (sentence indicates Thursday for the date, later on the same page it's given as Saturday) and mistakes that should have been caught in editing (Mark Anthony should be ANTONY).

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This book was a page turner from beginning to end. Loved this highly uncomfortable and hilarious book of 28 first dates. Some were downright horrible but I loved the transparency and honesty the author shared with us. Highly recommend. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

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