Because I Loved You

A Novel

by Donnaldson Brown

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Pub Date Apr 04 2023 | Archive Date Jan 30 2023

She Writes Press

General Fiction (Adult) | Literary Fiction

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Description

East Texas, 1972. Sixteen-year-old Leni O’Hare spends her free time drawing and galloping her mare across the chaparral. Horse crazy and rebellious, she fears her dream of becoming an artist will be thwarted by her strict mother, the small-town values of her community, and her family’s meager finances. A desperate bid to save her beloved mare from being sold brings her together with Caleb McGrath, the brainy and gentle scion of the county’s richest rancher, whose dream of becoming a physicist also pushes the bounds of their town and defies his family’s expectations.

When tragedy strikes Leni’s family, and Caleb’s brother returns from Vietnam angry and dangerous, the two grow closer and make a plan to leave and start a life together. Before they can go, though, Leni learns of something she fears will derail Caleb’s hard-earned shot at the future he wants. Choosing to keep what she’s learned secret, she sets them on sudden and separate paths.

New York City, 1986. Leni, now an artist and activist, and Caleb, now engaged and working on Wall Street, meet once again. Their old passion reignites. Can their love for one another overcome the choices made in the past? And when Leni’s secret—one that impacts not only Leni and Caleb but also four generations of Leni’s family—is finally revealed, will it be too late for them?

A Note From the Publisher

DONNALDSON BROWN grew up riding horses on her uncles’ ranch in East Texas and in her hometown in Connecticut. Her debut novel, BECAUSE I LOVED YOU, is due out in April 2023 with She Writes Press. She is a former screenwriter and worked for several years with Robert Redford's film development company. Her spoken word pieces have been featured in The Deep Listening Institute’s Writers in Performance and Women & Identity Festivals in New York City, and in the Made in the Berkshires Theatre Festival in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. She’s a past fellow of the Community of Writers (formerly Squaw Valley Community of Writers), Virginia Center for the Creative Arts, and Craigardan. A longtime resident of both Brooklyn, New York and western Massachusetts, Ms. Brown is a former attorney. She is a facilitator and trainer with The Equus Effect, offering somatic based experiential learning with horses for veterans, first responders and others struggling with PTSD.

Advance Praise

"...BECAUSE I LOVE YOU is deeply affecting, swooningly romantic, hard as diamonds, too: dreams don't always add up, and trouble can sometimes be our friend."—Bill Roorbach, author of LUCKY TURTLE, LIFE AMONG GIANTS, and THE REMEDY FOR LOVE

“What I love most about Donaldson Brown's first novel isn't the tactile reality of places and times that she so sharply renders - the harsh beauty of East Texas, New York City in the simultaneous throes of guerilla art and AIDS and financial obscenity, the tender urgency of first love - but her ability to feel so deeply into her characters that even as they make shattering mistakes we can believe along with them that their actions are exactly what they need to do in the moment, just as they convince us of who they become in consequence. Brown is a writer with the deepest empathy for imperfect humanity, and her people and their lasting impact on each other is so knowable it makes you ache.”—Kate Moses, author of CAKEWALK: A MEMOIR and WINTERING: A NOVEL OF SYLVIA PLATH

“Equal parts Kent Haruf and Elizabeth Wetmore, BECAUSE I LOVED YOU embodies all of the expansiveness and intimacy of a contemporary Western page-turner, and more. Starting in a small town in East Texas and traveling to the East Coast, this vivid, riveting narrative will transport you and break your heart at same time. Readers will love Donnaldson Brown’s stunning debut.”—S. Kirk Walsh, author of THE ELEPHANT OF BELFAST

Available Editions

EDITION	Other Format
ISBN	9781647422981
PRICE	$18.95 (USD)
PAGES	408

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Featured Reviews

Sandie K, Reviewer

They met and fell in love in a small town in Texas. Leni is a tomboy, always on her beloved horse, not crazy about school except for art and determined to get out as soon as she can. Caleb is a typical Texas guy who works on his dad's ranch and plays football but there's something else he wants. He wants to go to college and study physics and make his life somewhere else. The two share a love of horses and soon are sure that there is nothing that can end their love.

But fate intervenes. Both have family issues and Leni goes first. She leaves behind nothing but a note but goes out of love for Caleb, knowing that he won't go to college as long as she is in the picture. Caleb can't believe she has gone but it is the spur he needs to go to Princeton where he has a scholarship.

Fourteen years later, both are living in New York. Leni is an artist while Caleb is in finance, working with his college roommate on property development. The two cross paths at a galley opening and suddenly nothing between matters. They get back together but once again, fate steps in and breaks them apart. Will they ever be able to fulfill their love?

This is a gorgeously written novel about young love and enduring love. Although I could have shaken both of them at times, their story is one I won't forget soon. Brown is able to recreate first love in a way that will take readers back to their own first loves and sympathize with the characters. This book is recommended for women's fiction readers.