I Want to Trust You, but I Don't
Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment
by Lysa TerKeurst
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Pub Date Oct 08 2024 | Archive Date Not set
Nelson Books | Thomas Nelson
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Description
New York Times bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst shows you what to do with your skepticism and distrust so you can heal from past betrayals and move forward with strength and resilience.
Trust is the oxygen of all human relationships. But it's also what trips you up after you've been burned. Maybe a friend constantly lets you down. A leader or organization you respect turns out to be different than they portray themselves to be. A spouse cheats on you. A family member betrays you. You're exhausted by other people's choices and starting to question your own discernment. And you're wondering, If God let this happen, can he even be trusted?
How can you live well and step into the future when you keep stumbling over trust issues? Lysa TerKeurst says it's not simply about finding better people to walk with. It's about developing the stability you long for within yourself and with God, so you don't become cynical and carry a broken belief system into every new relationship. In I Want to Trust You, But I Don't, Lysa shows you how to
- identify which of the eleven relational red flags are stirring up distrust, so you can pinpoint why you're feeling uneasy;
- stop having more faith in your fears coming true than God coming through for you by asking crucial "what if" questions to better process your doubts;
- recognize when a fractured relationship can be repaired by considering a reasonable list of characteristics necessary for rebuilding trust; and
- understand the physical, emotional, and neurological impact of the betrayals you've experienced and start healing from the inside out.
In a world where so many things feel alarming, this book will give you a peace that isn't dependent on unpredictable people, circumstances, and experiences. Instead, it offers practical and biblical ways to make real progress toward healthier perspectives, relationships, and a future you can authentically look forward to.
Available Editions
EDITION | Other Format |
ISBN | 9781400211821 |
PRICE | $29.99 (USD) |
PAGES | 256 |
Available on NetGalley
Featured Reviews
One thing I know from reading Lysa Terkeurst is that she has walked through or is walking through what she is teaching. Lysa teaches from the Bible and while I’m not there yet with my trust issues, I’m learning and using the information Lysa uses in this book to grow. Have Kleenex handy as you dig deep into God’s Word and learn how to overcome trust issues one step at a time. I recommend this book to everyone because we all have trust issues on some level.
I received an advanced reader’s copy from Nelson Books and Netgalley. All opinions are my own.
Lysa’s new book “I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t” is a book written for people who have navigated the shipwrecked waters of hurt and broken trust and are ready to move forward in rebellious resiliency. This book is gentle and compassionate while also unflinchingly honest and deeply vulnerable. Broken trust hurts deeply and unfortunately- as Lysa points out, trust cannot be healed in isolation.
I hardly have words for how fervently I will recommend this book to all who know me. It was not what I expected and also, It’s exactly what I needed. Here is a brief overview:
Lysa opens the book with a discussion on the all too familiar feeling of giving up on ever trusting again. She then moves into something so deeply human: is my mistrust evidence of my discernment or am I just triggered and how do I tell the difference? This chapter was so validating, but chapter three might compete for most helpful- she gives a working vocabulary for identifying red flags and what to do with them when you spot them. I greatly appreciated the nuance and compassion Lysa brought to this chapter. The next chapter is all about repairing rips and tears in our trust. Lysa does not promise a quick or painless recovery; instead, she stands with the broken in quiet solidarity and shines light on the next right thing— which, incidentally is the topic of discussion in the following chapter. Her next two chapters are hard edged and raw as she pulls back the curtains in her own mind and directly confronts the impossible questions suffering uncovered about God. These aren’t questions any human alive can possibly be immune to asking in moments of sorrow, but her act of bravely speaking them aloud robs them of the power they have to cripple us. Chapter 8 is a mirror - what we can’t trust, we try to control and a moving discussion on how and why that’s not always a good thing for you OR cultivating healthy thriving relationships. The last two chapters and conclusion are possibly my absolute favorite. As you walk in healing and learning to trust again, you find glimmers and sparks of hope. We learn to dance again. These chapters were such a delightful way to close up the book and to see that nothing is ever wasted.
One of the best books and so timely. Lysa’s words and wisdom rise up against the hard edges of her story and rebelliously dares to trust again. I’m so thankful she’s chosen to share what’s she’s learned with the world. Surrounded by grievous wounds and endless stories of hurt in the world, this book was surely written for such a time as this.
I’d like to thank Thomas Nelson and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
I eagerly read everything Lysa TerKeurst writes. Her words resonate deeply because she has personally experienced the challenges she discusses, providing authentic and godly insights. Lysa’s teaching is firmly rooted in the Bible, offering profound advice on healing from deep pain. While I haven’t faced the same struggles of pain and distrust, I recognize that everyone encounters imperfections in life. When that time comes, I will undoubtedly revisit this book to navigate through it. Lysa’s approach is wonderfully gentle, respecting each reader’s unique pace of healing. I highly recommend this book to everyone and am deeply grateful for Lysa’s vulnerability once again.
Thank you NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.
I Want to Trust You, but I Don't
by Lisa TerKeurst
Pub Date: October 8, 2024
Thanks to the author, publisher and NetGalley for the ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
It came along as I was dealing with the issues addressed in this book so I was doubly blessed.
Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment
How can you live well and step into the future when you keep stumbling over trust issues? Lysa TerKeurst says it's not simply about finding better people to walk with. It's about developing the stability you long for within yourself and with God, so you don't become cynical and carry a broken belief system into every new relationship. In I Want to Trust You, But I Don't, Lysa shows you how t0;
identify which of the eleven relational red flags are stirring up distrust, so you can pinpoint why you're feeling uneasy; stop having more faith in your fears coming true than God coming through for you by asking crucial "what if" questions to better process your doubts; recognize when a fractured relationship can be repaired by considering a reasonable list of characteristics necessary for rebuilding trust; and understand the physical, emotional, and neurological impact of the betrayals you've experienced and start healing from the inside out.
Well Done, Lisa! I recommend this book highly!
I always love Lysa’s book. It is so hard to trust people after that was broken. It’s a very gentle and compassionate book and also very vulnerable. I felt so many feelings reading and convicted about how I haven’t let go of past hurt. You can’t heal alone.
I received an arc copy of this book from Net Galley in exchange for my honest opinion of it. This book certainly came at a perfect time in my life as I am dealing with this issue.
Want to Trust You, but I Don't oct 8
Have you ever had a hard time trusting people who have hurt you in the past? Lysa (the author)has, and she discusses how trusting people who have hurt us is hard and that we have an learned avoidance of people and situations where we have been hurt before and we avoid them.
She even had brain scans that show that her and other people living with trauma called "trauma survivors" have a different brain than those whose brains are healthy.
Lisa discusses the process of neuroception Dr. Stephen Porges - "Essentially, neuroception is the process by which neural circuits determine whether a situation or person is safe, dangerous, or life-threatening.
As opposed to perception, which which is a cognitive thought, neuroception involves brain processes that work outside of conscious awareness.
Neuroceptive evaluations can occur extremely quickly and without your knowledge. If social cues trigger a neuroception of safety, our bodies enter a calm behavioral state. We feel calm and can easily engage with others socially or attend to issues. . . . When situations appear risky, the specific areas of the brain regulating defense strategies are activated. Then even neutral or social behavior is met with aggression or withdrawal instinctively.6 Well, that explains why I’m constantly trying to evaluate safety before connection. If someone feels unsafe to me, I withdraw."
This quote helps to explain why people with trust issues react the way they do.
You will learn why we have trust issues, how to avoid people you shouldn't trust and how to deal with healing your issues along with a host of examples in these areas.
Lysa Terkeurst's new book I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t - Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment is a book for those of us that have a hard time with trust and forgiveness. I don't know about you, but that is me, unfortunately. Having dealt with some big and little hurts and sometimes it seems things don't change, but we don't have to stay stuck in a cycle. She reminds us through her personal story and experiences what she learned and what God has to say in His Word. Some of these chapters I need to reread because they are so full of helpful information. Wow, that bonus chapter is on point to what I needed about organizations that hurt! This book has helped me to see where I have been wrong in my reactions to certain things and reminds me I don't have control and can't change people. There is only One who can!
Now this isn't a Bible study or a theology of the Word about forgiveness, but it did remind me where I need to go to truth and where my help does come from and where I need to turn to. I found this book helpful, and it helped me to see some things I didn't understand. So read it as a memoir or having a coffee with a friend type of conversation. I do think this would make a great small group book discussion, as I know many who also struggle in this area, too. Each chapter ends with questions and Scripture to meditate on that go with the chapter to help you process and apply to your life.
Here a few highlights I took, though there are many more:
The trauma of having your trust broken by people you thought would never betray you is life altering. But it doesn't have to be life ruining.
We aren't made to let skepticism be our primary filter through which we see God and others.
Is this a warning that could protect me? Or is this a war in my mind that I need to work through?
It is okay for us to need more information. It is okay for us to ask questions and verify what is true. It is okay for us to be honest about what we can and cannot handle.
You're not a bad person or a crazy person for having uncertainties around trust. You're a person who takes relationships seriously and who wants to invest your heart deeply in the right ways with the right people.
We shouldn't place our trust in our feelings and just follow our own hearts without God's truth guiding us, challenging us, and giving us the right path forward.
Red flags we ignore don't typically fix themselves - they just get to be more and more of an issue.
We aren't to enable or excuse away behaviors that go against the wisdom of God. We are to be discerning.
If the person who betrayed you plays the victim, it's probably not wise to try and rebuild trust with them until their underlying issues are addressed.
Looking for the fruit of someone's actions is the best way to determine if they are serious about rebuilding that trust.
I guess anyone can be an actor and put on a good show. Trust me, I've seen some addicts and some narcissists that deserve an Academy Award.
There can be grace in this process, but it shouldn't be sloppy grace where deceptions are glossed over.
The best thing we can do is trust God with their consequences while making sure we don't get lured into sinful choices trying to right the wrongs.
In whatever we are facing, we don't want to do wrong things to try to bring about right things. We can commit to keep our hearts pure and place our trust in the safest place - with God. He doesn't leave sin unaddressed...
Even in the silence, the unknown, and the places where it looks like evil is winning, He is working. We may experience evil in this world, even still, God reigns over evil. There is a Savior of the world who will right all the wrongs. Even if it takes a really long time and even if I don't see it in my lifetime.
People are never more powerful than God...and while there will always be gaps in the trust we have with people, there are no gaps in the trustworthiness of God.
The very best way to refute the hurtful things others have said and done is for us to go on and live a great life.
Whatever other people sow into their lives is what they will reap. Whatever they tried to sow into your life is not what you will reap unless you decide to take the bad seeds and plant them into your own heart and mind.
Oh Lysa, you always write the book I need that year. It's been a year of pain and hurt and losing trust. And this book just felt like such a breathe of fresh air. It was just absolutely phenomenal. Your honesty, and realness just help so much to be so relatable to the reader. I felt like I could sit in a coffee shop for hours and just go on and on with you about these topics. Your books are always such so filled with scripture to remind the reader, God knows what he is doing, and in the word it's all there for us. Thank you for being so real and true as a Christian to share your heart. I needed it more than you know. This book has been an absolutely gem to me, and you have been a light for Jesus in my life. Thank you. Wonderful book! Highly suggest
Lysa is just marvelous and her wisdom and Bible knowledge is beyond compare. I highly recommend!this is one of a kind.
What a gem this book is! There is so much to unpack. At first glance, this book might appear to be limited to those who have dealt with betrayal. But this book is so much more than that. This book looks at learning to trust again, discerning your triggers, figuring out when to be concerned by other people’s behavior versus when your past trauma is causing fear. This book also looks at behavior patterns in untrustworthy people. This section was really eye opening to me. I also loved when Lysa tackled the subject of trusting God. When we walk through anything difficult in life, this might cause our trust to waver. But Lysa helps the reader to see God’s goodness despite how other people might treat us. And Lysa also discusses how our fears lead us to want to control everything in our lives, which can cause more heartache. Lysa then shows the reader how to move forward, build up confidence, and keep focusing on the Lord through it all.
At the end of each chapter, Lysa has some key thoughts to remember, key Scripture verses to receive, and key questions to reflect on. I especially loved that she ended each chapter with a short prayer. The end of the book is packed with bonus content - a bonus chapter, additional prayers based on Scripture, and other helpful resources. Throughout the book, Lysa vulnerably spoke about her personal challenges. Letting her guard down pulls the reader in. We see that Lysa deals with some of the same struggles we also deal with. But she also provides insight on how to move forward. And I also appreciate Lysa’s writing style. She is down to earth. And every part of the book was interesting and kept the reader hooked. No matter what you are facing today, this book will hold some gems you can learn from.
I read this book for free, thanks to NetGalley. But the review and opinions are my own.
As someone who has been burned in the past by friends and family members, this book was screaming read me. In the past, I've had friends who has turned their backs on me and I have been hurt so much by this. I have read most of Lysa TerKeurst's books and with this book, I felt more connected. I didn't know how to get past the hurt, the anger and the regret that I have been feeling on the friendships that I lost the trust of others or that I felt like I couldn't trust others. This book has allowed me to realize that it wasn't me who caused the trust issue but it was others. For those who have felt like they have couldn't trust some of the people in their lives whether they were new or old friends, or even family. This book is one that I plan on getting and rereading in the future as I want to learn to trust others again, but I may never be able to trust some friends again. I highly recommend this book to those who feel like they have done something to lose the trust of others when it may not be you and it is them.
Lysa Terkeurst's new book I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t - Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment is an absolutely INCREDIBLE book! Always pointing back to God as the source of all Truth, Goodness, and Faithfulness, Lysa does an amazing job in discussing the negative effects of emotional abuse and betrayal, but also gives the reader tangible ways to discern your areas of weakness/triggers, how to assess and discern others' behaviors, and keeping your eye solely focused on God and His plan for you. The author's story is relatable to all, as we all have faced betrayals and have been hurt by other's choosing to sin against us, and she includes a section on organizational harms and church abuse, too.
At the end of each chapter, she shares key points, scriptures, and a dedicated prayer on the topic covered in that section. Every chapter had significant meaning to me, and being able to journal through reading this book, and praying each prayer as my own personal conversation with God, brought me healing and hope. Lysa does not claim to be a counselor and she does point the reader towards professional counseling and services if needed, as well as making sure to direct us to God as our foundation and source of true healing and health.
Some key quotes:
The trauma of having your trust broken by people you thought would never betray you is life altering. But it doesn't have to be life ruining.
We shouldn't place our trust in our feelings and just follow our own hearts without God's truth guiding us, challenging us, and giving us the right path forward.
Red flags we ignore don't typically fix themselves - they just get to be more and more of an issue.
We aren't to enable or excuse away behaviors that go against the wisdom of God. We are to be discerning.
Looking for the fruit of someone's actions is the best way to determine if they are serious about rebuilding that trust.
Whatever other people sow into their lives is what they will reap. Whatever they tried to sow into your life is not what you will reap unless you decide to take the bad seeds and plant them into your own heart and mind.
People are never more powerful than God...and while there will always be gaps in the trust we have with people, there are no gaps in the trustworthiness of God.
Thank you to NetGalley and Thomas Nelson for the ARC of this book. All opinions are my own.
I wish that I could go back in time to a certain period of my life and hand this book to myself; it would have extremely encouraging.
Lysa writes about trauma, betrayal, and learning how to trust again. She doesn't shy away from using her own story (with discretion) to encourage the reader. I do think somebody who has faced a broken marriage will receive the most help from this book, but it is not limited to that area of broken trust.
I learned some fascinating science-backed facts about how trauma/stress affects our body, and I was also shown scriptural truths to set me back on track.
The scriptural truths and accompanying prayers are my favorite part of this book, and I plan to buy a copy just to have those at hand.
Allowing Lysa to tell her story to help others is part of how God is "working all things out for the good of those who love Him."
Another of Lysa’s books to add to your reading list!
“I Want to Trust You but I Don’t” is written from Lysa’s perspective, after having gone through her own trials. She uses discernment and the Bible to share her thoughts, and includes Bible verses for reference. I especially enjoyed the prayers at the end of each chapter. If you’ve followed Lysa’s journey, you know she shares real, raw emotion, and writes truth using the Bible as her guide - this book is no exception. If you’ve gone through your own heartbreak, this is a good book to read to help you move forward and heal while working through your emotions, thoughts, and trust issues.
I couldn’t put this book down and was eating up every word. Going into this book I thought the material was going to address learning to trust God. It does to an extent, but it more so looks at trusting yourself and others again.
What do we do when our trust has been so broken that we no longer trust our own judgment and have become jaded and skeptical of everyone around us? I found Lysa gently provided wisdom from God’s word and her lived experienced. Each chapter ends with a summary where you remember, receive, reflect and pray. I found it really brought the material together and made it easy to apply. At the end of this book, I found I was overwhelmed with the goodness of God. This is not the first time Lysa’s words of truth of reminded me of God’s goodness and brought me to tears.
I Want to Trust You, but I Don't
By: Lysa Terkeurst
Genre: Christian Living
Summary:
You have been hurt or betrayed someone you never thought would do that. You've been devastated by the last person you expected to be. Now what? How do you process all the feelings you, and will, feel? How do you move forward? How do you repair the damage done to you in a healthy way? How do you trust again when your trust has been shattered? Lysa not only walks you through her own journey with these very questions, but she passes what she learned onto you.
Most of us have been betrayed in our life. Some of us have been betrayed by the very person, or people, who continuously declared their unwavering loyalty. And, still, some of us have been betrayed by a loved one, forgiven them and given them a second chance only to be betrayed by them again. Whatever form betrayal took in our lives, it's often incredibly difficult to recover from. Betrayal is a special kind of weapon that leaves scars and wounds that run far deeper than we may realize. If any of this rings true to you, know that you aren't alone.
Lysa has been betrayed by her husband, not once but twice. On top of that, she lost several close people in her life around the same time. So, I think it's fair to say, Lysa knows what she's talking about in regards to the subject. Within these pages, she walks you through her own journey of processing, healing and moving forward. She's honest- her flaws, bumps and bruises. She shares with you some of the wisdom she learned through her devasting journey.
As I read this book, I related to a lot of things she wrote. I saw a lot of things I had to learn. She gets honest about relationships (any form of them) be founded in trust. She addresses those pesky read flags we all hope are flying by mistake, rather than the indicators they really are. Each chapter was full of nuggets that I needed to hear or be reminded of.
The book covers numerous hard hitting aspects of betrayal. Read flags, why God allowed the betrayal to happen and how do you recover and move on if your betrayer gets away with it. Also, why do we stay or have a hard time leaving a relationship we know isn't healthy for us? I can't tell you how wide reaching the chapters are. I wasn't expecting them to be so targeted and full of validity.
I Want to Trust You, but I Don't is a great tool to pick up when you're ready to pick up the pieces and heal. It helps you make sense of things and feelings. It validates your feelings, but helps you process and express them in a healthy way. It was a great resource for me. I hope you find it the same for you.
Lysa's books are a must-read for me. They are always well-written, relatable, and filled with scripture- and this one was no different. I LOVE psychology and how the brain works, and I liked that Lysa tied some of that within this book as well behind trust issues and trauma. No matter what you've walked through that's led to trust issues, this book helps identify and work through some of those areas from a Biblical perspective (yet doesn't shy away from boundaries or allow for abusive situations). Another great book from Lysa!
In a word, extraordinary. This book is for anyone who has had their trust broken, been disappointed by another individual or a group of individuals, and/or no longer trusts their own judgement. So, pretty much everyone on the planet. There were so many relevant passages that often almost the whole page was a sea of yellow. I didn't know her backstory but after reading about it, she has been THROUGH it and knows of what she speaks. Truly revelatory.
This is a very raw, honest and vulnerable book about trust. Why it is important, what happens when it is shattered and how it can be repaired or what to do when it can't. There are reflection questions, prayers and scripture at the end of each chapter.
It is a short read and not overly verbose which I appreciated.
I recommend it for those who need encouragement to trust God and others.
Thanks to Netgalley for the chance to read it in exchange for my honest thoughts.
I tried to explain to someone what I like about Christian author Lysa TerKeurst's books. She solves spiritual struggles with journal and Bible in hand. A master storyteller, Lysa excels at finding new and illustrative ways to explain hard-to-understand truths. She often has questions at the ends of chapters for readers to go from passive-reading to active-learning.
Lysa writes of her struggle with trust after seeing her almost 30-year marriage end in divorce. She lost friends, family, and work-related relationships in the aftermath. Lysa updates her readers on the heartbreak of broken relationships that led to her distrust others’ intentions and motives. While she had no outward signs of trauma, Lysa did have physical signs. Her colon twisted and her doctor thought she’d been in a car accident. Psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Amen completed Lysa's brain scan for signs of trauma using an imaging known as Single Photon Emission Computed Tomography, or SPECT. Trauma from emotional abuse has physical and neurological consequences.
The topic inspired Lysa's writing as she discusses what happens when our minds are in constant “fight, flight, or freeze.” People build walls and may isolate themselves to avoid fresh heartbreak. They can even lose trust in their discernment since they failed at vetting people and situations that led to trauma. Lysa uncovers how trauma impacts mind and spirit. She shares how to surrender the pain to God. She wants readers to trust others again and themselves. More importantly, she wants readers to trust God, who is bigger than any disappointment, betrayal, or trauma we suffer in life.
Broken relationships are inevitable in this fallen world. None of us are immune to sin’s effects on our relationships. But we were made for fellowship. We weren’t made to go it alone. Lysa advises her readers to find a Christian counselor to help them heal and grow in a safe space, and she provided two resources: American Association of Christian Counselors and Focus on the Family’s Christian Counselors Network. She needed to take baby steps toward trusting again and did so with a professional counselor.
Lysa worked through her own distrust and “broken belief system” in therapy. She didn’t want to take the latter into new relationships. One or more people hurt her, but she knew that not everyone then is unsafe. She repaired some relationships, but not all. Lysa provides a list of “relational red flags” to put into words the “whys” about those feelings of distrust we have to learn how to once again trust our instincts about people. She also provides ways readers can tell if a relationship can be repaired or whether it’s wise to walk away.
Sometimes you'll even need to walk away from people who say they are Christians. Lysa wrote a relatable bonus chapter on organizational trauma. She had worked hard to help this women's ministry, even speaking at their conferences. A ministry leader gave her too-human, two cents and thought Lysa should do more to make her marriage last. She asked if Lysa had physical bruises, evidence of abuse. Lysa learned they were planning to use her marriage negatively in advertising for their upcoming conference. Legal stepped in, so they nixed that idea. Smart move. That’s the kind of thing that makes Christians break fellowship with others. That’s the kind of thing that makes Christians want to go it alone and rely solely on God. Churches and Christian ministries are supposed to be like hospitals, not country clubs for the soul. (Our Daily Bread)
Final Thoughts
Lysa wants readers to exchange fear for faith that God will work all things for our good and His glory. Yes, God does allows suffering, but He wastes nothing. He uses our trials and tribulations to shape us and to make us more effective Christ-followers and disciples in His Kingdom. Scripture tells Christians to pass on the comfort we receive to others. (2 Cor. 1:4) I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t is Lysa’s way to pass on the comfort she received from Father God. She equips struggling survivors living with PTSD with tools to help them heal and recover in their relationships. One of the verses she quotes often is Romans 15:13, "Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Lysa's findings on the physical impact of emotional trauma in I Want To Trust You But I Don’t reminded me of a book on my reading list. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a neuroscientist and expert on trauma, has this book called The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Trauma reshapes the body and brain, van der Kolk believes, but he also trusts in the brain’s natural neuroplasticity - the brain’s ability to grow, adapt, and heal after trauma.
Lysa enjoys alliteration and using repetitive phrases that fairly demand you read aloud from her books. The patterns she uses shape the discussion. Lysa shows readers how her experiences shifted her thinking. She moves from distrust to trust, from fleeing and freezing in fear to fighting in faith, from sinking in deep sorrow to running and jumping with child-like joy in the ocean. Her latest book records this moment in her life when she reached the summit after a difficult, breath-stealing climb to the top of her personal Everest.
Thank you, Netgalley and Thomas Nelson Publishing for the opportunity to read this advance review copy of I Want To Trust You, But I Don't: Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment. Lysa will also have a 6-session Bible Study version of I Want To Trust You, But I Don't here.
Lysa TerKeurst has done it again! Her mastery with writing about trauma and how to overcome has touched my heart and I know it will for others who read this book "I Want to Trust You, but I Don't". Along with examples of her own life, she adds content, tools and applications along with prayer to keep moving forward and not get stuck in the trauma. One of her quotes that spoke to me . . . "We must do the healing work inside us so we can do relational work with others around us."
Lysa writes of her struggle with trust after experiencing her almost 30-year marriage ending in divorce. The divorce resulted in lost friends, family, and work-related relationships.
Lysa does an amazing job in explaining the negative effects of emotional abuse and betrayal. She shares real life ways to discern your own areas of weakness, how to assess and understand the behavior of others. This while keeping your eye focused on God and His plan for you.
When we walk through the difficulties of life, many times it causes our trust to waver. This book helps the reader see God’s goodness despite how other people might treat us. She also discusses how our fears lead us to want to control everything in our lives, which can cause more heartache. Lysa then shows the reader how to move forward and build up self confidence.
At the end of each chapter, she has included key thoughts to remember, pertinent Scripture verses to ponder, and reflective questions. Each chapter ends with a short and thoughtful prayer.
Lysa’s writing style is down to earth with every part of the book compelling, keeping the reader hooked. No matter what you are facing today, this book will hold some pearls you can learn from.
Rarely do I read an author who is genuine. One who refuses to accept that which cannot be right instead runs it thru the scriptures and prayer for guidance. The lessons and insights are real. Old wrongs surfaced for me as I read. I ran them thru the filters provided and found forgiveness and peace over them. Honestly I did not know how much this brilliant work would impact my life. Thank you Lysa for sharing your journey.
Lysa’s books have always been a help and inspiration to me. I Want to Trust You was no different. I began reading with the idea that this could help me with trust issues I have with other people. Surprisingly, the more I read the more aware I became of trust issues I had with God, I thought I was doing an okay job, but realized there were some major areas I was still holding onto where i wasn’t including God and He wanted me to surrender those. This book is helping me get there.
This book is truly outstanding. Lysa meets the reader where they're at and addresses different scenarios, large and small, with trust issues. She tackles trust with others - individuals and organizations, trusting ourselves, and trusting God from a biblical perspective. This book is exactly what I needed to propel into a new season of healing and greater health. For anyone looking to have healthier relationships or grow in trusting others, this book is for you. I highly recommend this book.
Lysa’s book is fresh air in today’s chaotic world. With her trademark blend of honor, ability and wisdom to cursed tackles trust after it’s been broken. Her words, resonate deeply, offering both comfort and challenge to the reader struggling with trust. What’s this book apart is curse ability to see the aspects through Christ help and scripture basis. Her personal antidotes are both thought-provoking and make spiritual truth, accessible and applicable to every day life, she really has done herself with powerful transformative work. Don’t miss out the opportunity to be inspired encouraged and to walk along with Lisa as she describes how to handle trusting when you don’t want to.
This book is a must read for anyone who has had trust broken! I love Lysa’s transparency and rawness, yet she always brings it back to God’s Word and how we can trust in the Lord even when nothing makes sense. She gives practical and spiritual application on how to rebuild trust in ways that makes sense and are achievable. I highly recommend this book, and it will be the best resource in your trust journey.
Here’s a review for I Wanna Trust You, But I Don’t by Lysa TerKeurst:
A Powerful Guide to Healing and Trust
Lysa TerKeurst has once again delivered a deeply impactful book in I Wanna Trust You, But I Don’t. As someone who has experienced the pain of betrayal and struggled with rebuilding trust, this book spoke directly to my heart. Lysa’s honest, compassionate approach offers hope for healing, all while rooted in her Christian faith.
Her personal stories and biblical insights have not only given me comfort but also practical steps toward reclaiming trust in myself, others, and in God’s plan. This book is a must-read for anyone who has felt the weight of betrayal or relational wounds. It’s an invaluable guide for those looking to experience true restoration and freedom. Highly recommended for anyone seeking healing and learning to trust again.
This is a well-written and thought provoking dive into how to cope with broken relationships of any kind. It includes chapters on discernment, repairing relationships, control, and trusting God with the future. This is especially good for anyone who has been betrayed by a loved one.
You can trust again.
Family friendly.
Lysa is a deep well of wisdom and bravely continues to share her story in new ways. The average person lies 4 times a day. Wow. Therefore, there’s going to be hurt and broken trust. We live in a sinful world. Lysa teaches us how to navigate that beautifully.
Broken trust can be very difficult to navigate as a Christian, and this book approaches the subject with empathy and wisdom.
(I received a free digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review)
I knew Lysa's book would challenge me in ways I needed to be. As always her writing is gentle and full of wisdom. It can be difficult to know how to move forward in a healthy way but Lysa helps you to discern the way to healing.
This book is phenomenal, hands down. If you have struggled with betrayal, trust issues, insecure attachment styles, or anxiety around your social relationships, this book is an absolute must-read. TerKeurst takes a biblical, biochemical, and physiological perspective on trust issues, taking the time to study why exactly our body reacts the way it does if we have had broken relationship problems in the past, and then relates it back to biblical foundations. She points out how to understand the impact of problems we've faced in our life and how they make us prone to certain reactions with new people, whether we should trust them or not, and how to sharpen our God-given discernment to not only heal, but also recognize when that discernment is throwing a red flag correctly. It's an incredibly important book designed to help us gently grow in discernment, correct ourselves, step away from negative experiences, and ultimately to heal in a biblical manner. It's the rare book I would recommend literally every single person to read.
*FTC: I read an early edition for my review; all opinions are my own*
I have been a huge fan of Lysa TerKurst for so many years. I have seen her speak in person and she never dissapoints. I am not one to take advice from many people, but knowing the battles that this sweet woman has faced over the years all while keeping her faith strong.....I read her books on repeat. Broken trust, deep heartbreaks, and the questions of will I ever trust anyone again and come out of the battle that I am facing right now.....Read this book. Highlight these words. Thank you Lysa for sharing your life, your struggles and the "real" side of you.
I love Lysa's heart and always sharing the real things in life I enjoy hearing her speak and reading all of her books. She is inspiring!
Excellent read! Thanks for the arc! This is one to come back to often! I really liked how she tackled the tough issues with gentleness and a biblical approach.
A great read that includes Biblical and Christian counseling advice on how to heal from deep past relationship hurt. Lysa's authentic and relatable style helps the reader relate to the topics she discusses and brings hope to those who are stuck in moving forward into new relationships with without the baggage of their past experiences and fear of being hurt again.
In her latest book, Lysa TerKeurst breaks down trust or lack of it after a traumatic breaking of trust. She walks the reader through how and why trauma can have such a serious effect on our ability to function, and trust that we won't get hurt again.
Her take on restoring our faith and trust in God, as well the people we love, is exactly the kind of thought-provoking self-help I have come to admire from her.
The honesty of this book is what makes it such a great read. It's not full of toxic positivity or a "get over it" attitude. Instead it's a story of realizing that trust is hard, but our Creator will never let us down.
Timely, honest reflection on the impact of trust on living and making a life. I appreciate the weaving of scripture and life experiences to be plain and real regarding the journey.
“Just because your life looks different doesn’t mean it’s going to be hard forever”.
- Lysa TerKeurst
It’s true! There is a lot of hope here!! My email was read on episode 6 of the Lattes with Lucy podcast from The Royals of Malibu series and the advice I was given there lines up perfectly in a way that was meant to be. Everything happens for a reason and people are in your life for a reason, whether that be forever or just for a season. As hard as that may be when/if the time comes for them to leave your life one way or another, you grew as a person! You’ve become an incredibly beautiful human being that only you were strong enough to live this life. Nobody could do it better than you! To leave on a positive note, I’m grateful for every. single. person. who came into my life - even if we’ve gone our separate ways by now or if they’ve passed on in this life. To those friends who’ve become like family, although they’ll never see this, I would not change a single one of the sequence of events that had to occur for us to meet and be involved in each other's lives! The best is yet to come and I cannot wait for all the memories yet to be made, with those who are in my life and those I have yet to meet!
After reading the first sentence above, I knew I was meant to read this incredible book by Lysa. My point is, if you're at all thinking about picking up "I Want to Trust You", even if it's just the smallest urge. Go for it! You will learn a lot about yourself from the wisdom and knowledge that Lysa has to share with the world. And with you friend!
This book truly changed my life. Long story short, the past few years of my life have been one long journey of having my trust broken by people i thought would be in my life forever. I have read many of Lysa's books, but this one truly hit every nerve and part of my heart. I left this book feeling ready and prepared to lean into God in this season of healing. I am so thankful for Lysa's vulnerability to share her story, I finally feel like I can see where my steps are headed, back into the arms of the Father.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC, for my honest opinion.
This is yet another book that I didn’t know I needed (wait, yes I did), by Lysa TerKeurst. This woman gets it. She doesn’t deny or sugarcoat her pain and struggles, which makes her stories and books so relatable. I often feel that I am alone in my struggles, feelings, and thoughts and then along comes a book like this to let me know there are others feeling just like me. Also, after each chapter in this book there was a reflection and prayer given- which was so nice because it really made you sit and think about what you just read.
Of course this book is about trusting again, and using our own discernment and wisdom. Each chapter goes into great detail about regaining trust in others and what we should be watching for to keep ourselves safe. I loved every chapter in this book, but Chapter Three on identifying red flags 🚩 really hit home, and I feel that Chapter Seven, “How Can I Trust God When the Person Who Hurt Me Got Away With It?” was written especially for me. I loved every word written in that chapter, and in this book.
I was lucky enough to receive a digital copy of this book through NetGalley, but this is one book that I do need a physical copy of because I needed to highlight many sentences and quotes. This is also a book that I would like to pick up from time to time just to reflect on when I am going through a difficult time, or might be getting triggered by a situation.
I would also like to add that there was a Bonus chapter included in this book, and it was definitely a bonus! Lysa TerKeurst gave us some personal news of her own, and some more spiritual prayers and reflections were included. I really enjoyed this chapter as well!
I highly recommend reading this book, especially if you are already a fan of TerKeurst. I think this may be her best book to date.
Many thanks to NetGalley, Nelson Books, and the author for a digital copy of this book which I had the pleasure to read. This book was published on October 8th, 2024- and is available now!
Genre~ self-help, nonfiction (adult), Christian
I will read anything Lysa writes! There's always a nugget to be gleaned. Her books are packed full of scripture and always vulnerable.
It was helpful to put words and descriptions to reasons trust can be broken (ex., immorality, incompetence, inconsistency, immaturity, etc.).
Some of my top quotes:
Christians can forgive and leave a relationship.
The beauty of the ocean comes with the reality of the tide.
Lisa TerKeurst has a wonderful gift to tell her story in such an authentic way and to capture the reader’s attention all the while dropping encouragement and practical help into our minds along the way. This book deals with the topic of trust in our relationships with those around us and also with God. It felt like I was sitting with a friend and having an honest conversation and the reflection questions along the way helped me have that inward conversation as well that is much needed.
From a personal standpoint I didn’t connect with this book, but I can see many that I minister to in women’s ministry needing a resource like this. At times it felt very focused on what someone else did and not on self reflection, but it seemed to shift about half way. I think this does a great job of mixing practical application, real life stories, next steps, and scripture. I did want a bit more scripture mixed into the actually chapters and not just saved for the end- it’s a bit of cherry picking verses instead of Bible teaching, but there wasn’t anything a majorly disagreed with and can see myself recommending this in our area. I appreciate the structure of the chapters, especially the way they wrap up and the authenticity of the author.
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book!
How can you live well and step into the future when you keep stumbling over trust issues? Lysa TerKeurst says it's not simply about finding better people to walk with. It's about developing the stability you long for within yourself and with God, so you don't become cynical and carry a broken belief system into every new relationship. In I Want to Trust You, But I Don't, Lysa shows you how to
identify which of the eleven relational red flags are stirring up distrust, so you can pinpoint why you're feeling uneasy;
stop having more faith in your fears coming true than God coming through for you by asking crucial "what if" questions to better process your doubts;
recognize when a fractured relationship can be repaired by considering a reasonable list of characteristics necessary for rebuilding trust; and
understand the physical, emotional, and neurological impact of the betrayals you've experienced and start healing from the inside out.
Thank you, NetGalley, the publisher and author of the ARC.
Lysa thank you for helping all the wonderful struggling humans. I am certain you have taught and saved more souls than you know. I thank my Savior for your talents that you willing to share with the world. Thank you for making this world manageable.
Lysa Terkeurst comes with a wonderful book, debating critical questions about relationship. From red flags in relationships, broken trust, betrayal to moving forward tools, Lysa Terkeurst explores all the facets of trust and distrust from a christian perspective.
This book is really challenging and eye-opening!
This book grabbed me from the start! If you have been hurt by someone, if you have problems trusting people, or question their motives, this is a great book for you. Written by one of my favorite Christian authors, this book is full of raw honesty, words of wisdom, and tools for learning how to trust again. Life is difficult, people are messy, and relationships, unfortunately, sometimes go in the wrong direction and people get hurt. Yes, you can learn to trust again even after you’ve been hurt. The Lord will never hurt you or be unfaithful and is there waiting to help you trust others when you learn to trust him. I am so glad I read this book. Thank you to NetGalley for the advance read copy.
I Want to Trust You, but I Don't may seem like it wasn't written for you when you first start it. But I'm here to tell you that it is definitely for you. Maybe you haven't been betrayed and emotionally abused to the point where your marriage ends (I felt so bad for Lysa reading that). But maybe you've had a boyfriend who did something terrible. A friend who did something terrible. Trust can be lost with anyone.
Lysa gives sage advice from someone who has been there. This isn't some counselor or therapist spouting off what they've learned in a book but have never experienced themselves. Lysa may not be a counselor or therapist, but she has experience. She knows how to get through it - even when she didn't want to and wasn't sure she wanted to.
Lysa's knowledge of scripture was refreshing and worked greatly in the favor of all who read this book - you'll find comforting scriptures, prayers, and so much more. A definite must read if you're suffering from trust issues!
Lysa TerKeurst does it again. Lysa has a way of taking her own heartbreak and disappointment and leading herself and her reads straight back to Jesus. If you have ever dealt with broken trust and want to forgive and trust again this is the perfect book for your journey.
In her latest book, Lysa TerKeurst offers readers a powerful guide through the painful and often isolating experience of broken trust. This applies to more than just infidelity. She tackles the heart-wrenching questions many of us face when betrayal strikes: How do I trust again? Where is God in all of this? Can I even trust Him when I feel so let down?
TerKeurst writes with deep empathy, sharing her own journey through broken relationships and the struggle to find healing. She doesn’t sugarcoat the hard truths: broken trust isn’t healed by time alone. It takes intentional effort, strategic reflection, and a willingness to confront deep wounds. This book offers practical advice for overcoming the lingering effects of betrayal and learning to trust again—not just in others, but in God and even in our own discernment.
What makes this book so impactful is TerKeurst’s ability to put words to emotions that feel too raw to articulate. Her reflections resonate deeply, and her guidance feels both compassionate and empowering. She acknowledges the despair while firmly leading readers toward hope and wholeness.
The principles and advice are biblically sound, and TerKeurst’s ability to tackle such a sensitive topic with clarity and precision makes this a standout resource for those seeking healing.
For anyone navigating the fallout of broken trust, this book is a timely and life-giving read. It offers hope without trivializing the pain, and encouragement without dismissing the hard work required to heal.
Such a good and enlightening read. I always enjoy anything by her and am glad to have read this!
Definitely worth the read and recommendation!
Another inspirational and authentic book from Lysa TerKeurst. This one hits different than her others as she seems to be more forthcoming and direct in her approach. I love that Lysa doesn't shy away from tough topics, instead she dives right in with humility and wisdom. Thank you to NetGalley and Nelson Books | Thomas Nelson for the ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Out On: October 8, 2024
Another great book by Lysa TerKeurst! I found this was better than her last book and dealt with issues you can definitely see throughout individuals as well as society. How can we begin to trust again and trust ourselves in the process? I'll honestly probably read anything she writes.
Thank you so much to Nelson Books for this advanced copy on NetGalley!
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Parenting & Families, Self-Help