I absolutely loved this book. Very informative. It felt like a guide on preparing for what's coming for us, the ones that still have not gone through menopause. I think it is a valuable source of experiences and information.

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for the digital ARC. This is my honest review of an unedited copy—all opinions are my own.
As a woman who became post-menopausal in my early 40s, this book resonated deeply with me. I would strongly recommend it to pre-menopausal and peri-menopausal readers. So many of us are unprepared for what’s coming, and when it arrives earlier than expected, it can feel isolating and scary. In many ways, this book feels like the What to Expect While You’re Peri-Menopausal guide that I wish I’d had.
The foreword by Dr. Jen Gunter and the introduction by Lidia Yuknavitch are powerful and grounding. They set the tone immediately. It's honest, validating, and unapologetic about reclaiming women’s stories and bodies.
It’s important to note that this book should come with a content or trigger warning. While the title centers menopause, several essays address heavy topics such as sexual assault, rape, abortion, and trauma. This isn’t a criticism; the honesty is part of the book’s strength but readers should be aware before diving in.
What surprised me most is the scope. This isn’t only about “the Big M.” It traces the full arc of womanhood from childhood, our first bleed, identity, trauma, bodies, aging, and finally menopause. At its best, the book is deeply empowering but not loud or confrontational, it's advocacy-driven, offering language, context, and permission to understand our experiences without shame.
I will say, the final essay left me a bit unsure. I wasn’t entirely certain what I’d just read lol. Still, it didn’t undo the overall impact of the collection.
Not every essay landed the same for me, but the collective message is meaningful and needed. A solid 4-star recommendation.

This anthology offers a nuance look at the varied experiences of menopause, breaking the silence around this significant life stage through relatable, deeply personal narratives. It manages to balance the challenging symptoms with the transformative nature of this phase. It is an insightful guide that helps readers recognize and understand the realities of perimenopause and beyond. Most importantly, this book helped me truly recognized and understand what is transition means, turning fear into empowerment.

Thanks to Netgalley and Grand Central Publishing for the ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.

#GrandCentralPublishing #TheBigM #LidiaYuknavitch #JuliaAlvarez #RoxaneGay #CherylStrayed #PamHouston #JoeySoloway #NguyenPhanQueMai #ReynaGrande #NanaAmaDanquah #GinaFrangello #MonicaDrake #LanSamanthaChang #DarceySteinke

The Big M is not a guide, not a checklist, not a wellness manual although those are welcome and needed. Instead, it's a community builder, with Lidia Yuknavitch and the contributors take menopause out of the medical whisper network and return it without embarrassment and taboo.

What makes this anthology work is that menopause is not treated as a single passage with a universal arc. Instead, it is presented differently by each author. Bodies change. Identities shift. Certainties fall apart. The essays do not comfort so much as they tell the truth, and that honesty is bracing.

There is a sense of collective permission running through the book. Permission to be furious. Permission to feel invisible and enraged by it. Permission to want more pleasure, more sex, less caretaking, or none at all. Several pieces interrogate how deeply patriarchy has shaped what women are told menopause should mean, the fading of relevance, the loss of beauty, the quiet exit from the story. These writers refuse that narrative outright.

The range of voices matters. Roxane Gay, Cheryl Strayed, Julia Alvarez, Pam Houston, Joey Soloway, and others bring different cultural, racial, sexual, and creative lenses to the experience. That diversity keeps the book from becoming prescriptive. Some essays are lyrical and searching. Others are blunt, funny, or confrontational. Together they form something closer to a chorus than a collection.

What stayed with me most is how often menopause is framed here not as diminishment but as exposure. What is no longer tolerated? What no longer fits. What finally has to be said. The body becomes impossible to ignore, and in that insistence, there is a kind of power.

The Big M insists that menopause is not an ending or a medical inconvenience but a profound life passage worthy of language, community, and respect. It is a book to hand to someone who feels unmoored, angry, curious, or relieved. It does not promise answers. It offers recognition.

#GrandCentralPublishing #TheBigM #LidiaYuknavitch #RoxaneGay #CherylStrayed #JuliaAlvarez #PamHouston #JoeySoloway #NguyenPhanQueMai #ReynaGrande #NanaAmaDanquah #GinaFrangello #MonicaDrake #LanSamanthaChang #DarceySteinke

A collection of essays about experiences of menopause, this is more inspirational than roadmap. More creating camaraderie than providing advice. Each writer took the prompt a little different, some seemed to barely touch on menopause at all. Though I loved hearing the stories of Henry and of the Icelandic horses, I'm not sure I fully grasped the correlations. I appreciated the essays that were more direct and reflective on their personal journey through menopause. I especially appreciated editor Lidia's Yuknavitch's closing: "Congratulations, you f***ing spectacular being. You made it. You have come to the threshold of a portal more beautiful than any definition of "beauty" ever shot at you from human culture." I also particularly loved Roxane Gay's reflection on the partners who were careless with her and her carelessness with herself. I hope the final printed version includes more of Gay's accolades. This version was lacking considering her impressive resume and honors.

4.5/5

It's wonderful that peri/menopause is part of the conversation these days! Yuknavitch assembled an international slate of contributors plus some famous Americans (Julia Alvarez, Roxane Gay, Pam Houston, and Cheryl Strayed). Their writerly stories generally riff off the theme of perimenopause and menopause, generating musings like this one from Nana-Ama Danquah's contribution about an "old layers" stand in a village in Ghana:

"I think about the chickens, the old layers, and the fate that awaits them. I think about every time I've heard someone refer to a woman as a chick or a hen, or used a chicken's dissected anatomy to describe part of a woman's physique."

Later Danquah considers a twist on the "write your younger self a letter exercise," wondering what that younger self might have put in a time capsule. I think that's so interesting, but I also wonder if my younger selves would even be able to contemplate menopause. I worked in theater in my 20s, when we all referred to afternoon performances as "menopause matinees." I don't know that younger folks even realize that menopause typically occurs at least a decade before people typically require, and it's often 20 years before. Like, menopausal people are not old!

Note to self: Danquah recommends a magnesium infused body butter lotion rubbed into the soles of one's feet to improve sleep. On the subject of symptoms, Gina Frangello bemoans losing her sex drive due to cancer treatments, as well as her cancer-abetted menopause. She asks her doctor about switching things up,

"Then he says to me, with utter seriousness despite the smile on his face, 'Well, are your orgasms really that important?'"

This after her plastic surgeon decided to give the formerly A-cupper D-cup breasts despite her request for Bs. Ugh! Doctors! Ugh! Cis men!

A wide variety of authors describing their lives up to and including menopause. Different writing styles producing different reflections , but all focusing on what life was like before and after.

What an excellent anthology of collected works about menopause. Each one was unique and interesting, yet they shared similar themes. I enjoyed the variety of writers included. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

Very well done. As a woman going through Perimenopause, I really appreciated the candow and honesty in this collection.