a devastatingly and heartbreaking coming-of-age debut.

jean is sent to a boarding school where he meets tom, equally troubled youth, but he's well-liked by the other boys. meeting tom changes jean's world. meeting tom opens up even more things in jean than he knew what to do about before. meeting tom was the beginning of an end for jean.

what i love most about coming of age novels is the way characters are introspective and inevitably learn something about themselves. we're given glimpses of jean's past and how they relate to the jean we see in the present. his entire being then is shaped by the before. jean exists as he does because of those past situations. it's a large part of jean; a large part of his own understanding himself and those around him. jean is no exception to adolescence. only it's the 70s and times are vastly different; i wanted it to end well for jean, but it only ends as well as it can for a queer boy in the 70s who has had his first(?) love scorn him over and over.

the relationship between jean and tom is turbulent and quiet. as often as boys do, they shy from their emotions and have a hard time showing or telling the other what they want; that they, too, want what the other wants. whether it is in words or actions, they both have their gazes linger on each other far too long for it to be entirely hetero. tom, especially, lets his gaze linger longer than jean realizes.

dunnigan's prose is beautiful in a sort of tranquil way. it felt intimate at times. it felt like i was standing on the edge watching the boys, or i was in jean's eyes seeing tom's freckles as they lie side by side.

would definitely read this one again.

thank you netgalley and W. W. Norton & Company for the eARC!

A quiet yet captivating story that draws you in with the absolutely gorgeous prose. Dunnigan writes with attention to the quiet things other authors might overlook, with fantastic tenderness. It's been a while since I've truly taken the time to savor a book like this, while still reading it so quickly. Highly recommend, and I cannot wait to read more from this author in the future!

Oh, this book was stunning. I'm a bit more broken than I was before I started this book and I know these characters will stay with me for a long time.

At first, I wasn't sure what to make of it - the narrative jumps around and there are no quotation marks for dialogue. Stylistically speaking, I typically find it difficult to get into books that don't use quotation marks - dialogue can read flat, characters might not have distinctive voices, it can break immersion. That was absolutely not the case here. I was completely drawn in, the blurring between Jean's internal narration and what was happening on the 'outside' and unclear character motivations only added to my immersion. I read this in 3 sittings and was consumed from the moment I started reading to the moment I had to put the book down.

I was almost a bit wary that it was going to be a rerun of a queer coming of age featuring a popular boy and the quiet, troubled boy. I was wrong on that front, too. Abuse, abandonment, the physicality of the body, coming of age, the messy realities of adolescence, generational trauma/parental failures, systematic inequalities - such a beautifully tragic story. If you enjoy character-driven narratives about extremely real, flawed characters who are a product of their environment and upbringing, this one is for you.

I would recommend this for fans of Young Mungo, Anyone's Ghost, Sunburn, and for those who enjoyed reading the character dynamics in Nemerever's These Violent Delights.

Extremely grateful to W.W. Norton & Company and NetGalley for the eARC! 4.5 stars, rounding up, will definitely be preordering this one.

I couldn’t stop thinking about this book after I finished. A raw story of love and the way it hurts and pleasures us. Jean was a fascinating character. Despite his troubles I found him endearing and the emotions and feelings he has for Tom were palpable to the reader. I could feel his passion and longing. This book was so beautifully written. It’s truly a literary masterpiece that was honest and real. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Review will be posted on Instagram and Amazon on pub day and links added to NetGalley.