This was such a wonderfully written novel about motherhood and what it’s like being a woman in general. Watching Elly navigate marriage, motherhood, and all the stressors in between was relatable and so well portrayed in the pages. There are so many takeaways in this book and I loved how realistic everything was. This book was a therapeutic read. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Review will be posted on Instagram and Amazon on pub day and links added to NetGalley.

Rules for Mothers is a quiet, emotionally layered novel set in the 1980s that follows Elly Sparrow, a stay-at-home mother of four who has slowly lost sight of herself. From the outside, Elly’s life looks orderly and complete, but internally she feels diminished by the narrow roles of wife and mother that have come to define her entire identity. When her marriage begins to unravel, Elly is forced to confront how little agency she has had in shaping her own life and what it might mean to finally choose herself.

As Elly navigates single motherhood, the day-to-day demands of raising children, and her own internal struggles, the novel explores how women of that era were often expected to suppress their needs and emotions. The book thoughtfully examines women’s mental health at a time when it was stigmatized. Elly’s journey toward independence is not dramatic or fast, but gradual and realistic, marked by uncertainty, fear, and small acts of courage.

What stood out most to me was how accurately the book captures the quiet drowning that can happen when someone lives primarily for others. Elly’s story highlights how easily personal dreams and autonomy can be lost within marriage and motherhood, especially in the cultural context of the 1980s. The novel does a strong job showing how societal expectations shaped women’s choices, or lack of choices, during that time.
This is not a fast-paced book, but a reflective and character-driven one that will resonate with readers interested in stories about identity, self-fulfillment, and the emotional realities of motherhood. Trigger warning: the book does address suicide, which may be difficult for some readers.
Overall, Rules for Mothers is a thoughtful and honest exploration of motherhood, mental health, and the long process of reclaiming one’s sense of self. This is an ARC Review.
#RulesforMothers #NetGalley

With the keen eye of an impressionist painter, Julie Swendsen Young meticulously layers passive aggressive notes and conversations from an emotionally manipulative and distant husband, a broken headlight on the Vanagon, surreptitious glances at kind strangers, endless rounds of laundry and vacuuming and dishes, neverending piles of toys to be picked up, and the caregiving of four young children in her portrayal of Eleanor Sparrow. Although her kids are clean and happy and she's known as a good mother, Elly is slowly but surely suffocating under the weight of motherhood. Like most women of the 1980s, Elly stumbled her way into domesticity, setting aside dreams of travel and pursuing advanced English literature degrees to stay home, clip coupons, and raise four kids while her attorney husband goes on weekend and overnight trips for work. When their marriage dissolves, Elly goes back to work part-time, tries out journaling, reconnects with old friends, and tries to figure out who she is when she's not being martyred for motherhood. What follows is a series of highs and lows rendered in heartbreaking detail as Elly tries to find herself while keeping her broken family together. When it all inevitably falls apart, she discovers that the rules work differently for mothers. A complex, character-driven story that captures both the jagged edges and tenderness of familial bonds. Weaving together hope and tragedy, Elly navigates divorce, depression, and what it really means to be a good mother.

Thanks to NetGalley and Greenleaf Book Group Press for the ARC. Book to be published April 14, 2026.

Eloy Sparrow is dealing with four small children and a workaholic husband and then her husband leaves and she is now a single mother.Watching her deal with her life her coping her daily existence.is so real she is such a strong real character and I enjoyed getting to know her.Sowell written so involving.# NetGalley #rulesformothers

To be honest, you want to know what I expected to find in this book? I thought I'd meet a mother without interests or charm, floating lost in time and space as her children were all grown children, not knowing what to do with free time for herself. But what I found were very faithful portrayals of the daily lives of many women who want to raise their children in the best way possible, but also want to work outside hom. Not only because of the money. But mainly, for sanity. For the possibility of seeing different people, being able to leave the house and not spend the whole day dealing with the mental exhaustion that comes with constantly caring for a home and kids.

Those who have read "The Feminine Mystique" by Betty Friedan might enjoy this book, although "Rules for Mothers" is fiction. Friedan's book is even mentioned in the story, but even if it weren't, at some point, it would be difficult not to think of it for those who have already read it.

By the end of the book, the plot takes a perhaps unexpected turn, but a very curious one, I might say, making us think a lot about the responsibility and expectations that fall on women as mothers, but almost never on men as fathers.

I enjoyed this reading much more than I've imagined I would. There were many passages with which I identified, as a mother, and I even feel that Elly and I could be good friends in real life.

The book also made me think a lot about my childhood and adolescence, and made me admire even more my mom, as well as be very grateful for the father I have. Elly is right when she says that the world is very unfair to mothers but not as jugdemental to fathers.

The sad thing is, however, what's the likelihood of a man reading this book? And those few who do read it, will they see identify with the situations at some point in the story or with Elly's criticisms?

I had the opportunity to read this book before its official release, through Netgalley, in English (original), and it was its title that attracted me right away. The title, however, seemed more and more fitting with each page I turned.

I highly recommend it and very much hope it comes to Brazil.

An honest, provocative, and thoughtful book about motherhood. In this novel, Elly is a newly married young mother who, in quick succession, has four children under age 7. Though she loves her children, she struggles with being a "mother," and all that comes with that title. Her husband is not too helpful, and her own mother does not live close to her; she does not seem to have many friends, either other young mothers or just friends in general. Though Elly is a "good mother" and everyone sees it, she really struggles, and this book allows one to see that motherhood does not fit everyone and also that you can be a mother, and you can love being a mother and still not love all the parts of it every day. I would have given this novel 5 stars, but for the abrupt change at the end - a bump in time which did not allow the reader to process what had happened and fully understand what had happened or was happening. Thanks to NetGalley and Greenleaf Book Group Press for the e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

It took me a long time to finish this book & I think it’s because it felt sad to read. Motherhood is not easy and the pages of this book tell the stories of the beautiful and difficult moments of everyday life. We don’t always like to admit that being a mother isn’t always a happy feeling. I applaud the of the emotion we see here.

Expert storytelling! I was intrigued and invested from the first few pages. Thanks to NetGalley for the advanced copy. I would read more from Young. I found the characters flawed but still liked them. I don’t often wish a book were longer, but I could have kept reading this one!

Rules for Mothers by Julie Swendsen Young is a quietly powerful and very relatable look at motherhood through the life of Elly Sparrow.

The story shows how the small, repetitive routines of caring for others can slowly take over, until a woman’s sense of who she is starts to fade into the background. It's all too real and what really stayed with me is the honesty. It captures the thoughts, doubts and pressures that are rarely spoken aloud, especially the constant expectation to do everything “right.”

Readers have described it as deeply human and emotionally resonant, touching on both the tenderness and the weariness of motherhood, as well as the fragile process of reclaiming a sense of self, and this reader would agree.

Although it’s set in the 1980s, its commentary on the expectations placed on women still feels surprisingly current. It’s the kind of book that invites reflection - not just on motherhood, but on identity, choice, and how much of ourselves we give away along the way.

This was a quiet, slow, very introspective read about motherhood, mental health, and losing yourself in the process of caring for everyone else. Elly’s exhaustion and guilt felt really real and I think a lot of mothers will see themselves in her. It’s not fast paced at all, more reflective and character driven, but it does a great job showing how easy it is to lose your identity in marriage and motherhood, especially in that time period. I did wish some of the side characters, especially the husband, had more depth, but overall it was thoughtful and honest and definitely made me think.
Solid 3.75 stars

Rules for Mothers had my attention from the first page to the end. It covered so many different dynamics of the main character, Elly's life. You saw her go through many losses including loosing herself. Themes like marriage, divorce, unfaithfulness, friendship, death, belonging, and self love were all included in this story. The book was fiction, but so real and revelant to mothers.

This book was a page turner. I really enjoyed this book and look forward to reading more books by this author.

Thank you to NetGalley and Greenleaf Book Group, this is an ARC review.

Rules for Mothers is an exploration of the demands, expectations and challenges of motherhood, within the societal context of 1980s Oregon. We follow Elly, wife and mother of 4, through her early seasons of motherhood, marriage breakdown and her battle with the sense of identity loss that comes with matrescence. As she navigates being a stay at home mother, return to work and solo parenting, we are privy to her internal battle with her adoration of her children, gender imbalances, sense of identity and the emotional realities of putting one’s own wants and needs last.

This book is not fast paced nor full of twists and turns, but rather a meandering and an introspective look at mental health, motherhood and existential yearning. It is a quiet validation of the internal battles and worries experienced by many mothers. This book will resonate with readers who have struggled with the shift in priorities, relationships and sense of self through motherhood. TW: there is discourse around suicide which some readers may find challenging.

Overall I think that Rules for Mothers is a poignant reflection of motherhood, and the pursuit of identity beyond being “just” a mum and wife.

Surprised that this is the author's debut novel - what a great read! Set in the 1980's, the reader accompanies Elly as she navigates motherhood and womanhood. While struggling to balance what she wants out of life against the expectations of a wife and mom, she seems to resent her lot in life and yearns for experiences outside of what she considers mundane and oppressive. There were moments that I think the book could have skipped or been condensed but overall it was a great read with even greater character development.

Many thanks to #netgalley #GreenleafBookGroupPress for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.