A wrenching, lyrical memoir by Skins and Game of Thrones star Hannah Murray, exploring the spiritual awakening that turned into a mental breakdown, and the healing made possible when we learn to save ourselves

He sat me down in a chair and he told me, in no uncertain terms, that magic is real. Magic is real. Three words that bound me to him. To his world of make-believe.

From her breakout role as a teen actor on the cult TV show Skins, to critically acclaimed movies, to the smash hit Game of Thrones, Hannah Murray built a career in Hollywood cracking open her own psychological foundations and pushing her body to its limits. But one day, the line between make-believe and reality disappeared, and she found herself confined to a psych ward, dangerously in love with the leader of a shadowy wellness organization, and believing in magic. How she got there—and how she managed to rebuild her life—is the heart of this gripping, powerful memoir that asks: How far would you go to find enlightenment?

For Hannah, it was deceptively easy to fall down the rabbit hole. As she struggled with her mental health, she sought help in the form of wellness and self-care. After an eye-opening session with an energy healer, Hannah was introduced to an organization that she was told would bring her further spiritual rewards. Enthralled by its charismatic leader and his teachings of a world filled with magic and meaning, Hannah found herself sucked into a rigorous practice involving high control and financial outlay. And as her sense of reality began to slip, eventually resulting in her hospitalization and diagnosis with bipolar disorder, she realized she had fully ceded control of her life to this mysterious organization. And, she thought, as she reckoned with the Hollywood career that conditioned her to give her body and soul over to others, maybe she’d been doing that her whole life.

Both a cautionary tale and a cry for radical empathy, Hannah’s story of learning to trust herself will resonate with anyone who has struggled to find agency. The Make-Believe is a probing exploration of womanhood and mental health, and a search for the healing that comes when we reclaim our own narratives.