This book was not an easy read, but it was an important one. I’m Not Supposed to Know This gives a deeply personal look at the aftermath of 9/11 and the experiences of someone who was there in a way most of us never could have imagined.
What I appreciated most was how human the story felt. It wasn’t just about the tragedy itself, but about the people, the emotions, the fear, and the strength it took to move forward afterward.
I found myself thinking about how many untold stories exist behind moments in history that we think we already know. This book is a reminder that every event has countless personal experiences that deserve to be heard.
A powerful and emotional read that stayed with me long after I finished.

3.5 Stars

This is a memoir recounting a woman's experience working in "The Pit" recovery area in Ground Zero. She was one of a handful of women that served in that role. She hailed from Los Angeles and had a burgeoning career as a sound engineer on major movies, but was drawn to New York City even before 9/11 occurred. From the moment it happened she zeroed in on the tragedy wanting to help, and was initially recruited to help out with food and sustenance to recovery workers. Because of her engaging personality, she was plucked out of that position, nicknamed "Hollywood", and directed to work in the very dangerous "Pit" area. She witnessed and was a part of body recovery, sifting through the ashes for anything that could be human remains, solemn processions, signing workers in and out, and the use of monitoring equipment for dangerous emissions.

Her mental anguish and difficulty returning to life in LA was discussed. She would forever be pulled back emotionally to Ground Zero. This was a fascinating inside look into exactly what the rescue and recovery work flow consisted of at Ground Zero.

Thank you to Amplify Publishing for providing an advance reader copy via NetGalley.

Sometimes you stumble across something that seems to enter your life at exactly the right moment. For Solange, it was a series of strange coincidences that led her to Ground Zero.

For me, it feels like this book.

This was a powerful memoir, and not only because of Solange Schwalbe’s firsthand account of being one of the few women to work at Ground Zero after 9/11.

Don’t get me wrong, her insights into Ground Zero are what drew me to this book, as I’m sure they will for many other readers. They are every bit as fascinating, heartbreaking, and deeply human as you might imagine. But what surprised me most was how much I connected with the parts of her story that came afterward.

This is a woman who took immense pride in her work, and as a sound editor on many iconic Hollywood films, she had every reason to. But after experiencing what she did at Ground Zero, her entire worldview was shaken, and she struggled to rebuild not only her career, but also her sense of self, her mental health, and her relationships with those around her.

Yes, this is a story about large-scale tragedy and an intimate look at the community that emerged in its wake. But it’s also a story about searching for meaning and rebuilding an identity after experiencing something that changes you forever.

Thank you, Solange, for sharing your story.

And thank you to Amplify Publishing for the e-arc.

I still remember sitting in my high school geometry class on September 11, watching the events unfold on television without fully understanding how much they would shape the years that followed. That memory came back to me while reading I'm Not Supposed to Know This. Instead of focusing on the attacks themselves, Solange Schwalbe shares what it was like to be part of the recovery effort at Ground Zero. Her firsthand account of working inside the restricted site and witnessing the quiet, everyday acts of courage gave me a perspective I'd never encountered before.

What stayed with me most were the personal stories. The book isn't driven by statistics or headlines. It's about the people who showed up day after day, the bonds they formed, and the emotional weight they carried long after the cameras were gone. I closed the book with an even deeper appreciation for those whose work often went unseen during that time. My sincere thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with a free advance review copy.

There were lots of moments that I wanted a little more information. I liked how the story was split into subsections within the chapters, but many times I felt those were ending as I was looking for more information and details.

This was a quick read for me, I finished in a single afternoon. I really loved seeing the stories and information about individuals and their experiences. For my high school students, who were born well after September 11, this would be a good read for them to get a better idea of what the nation was going through.

An interesting perspective on the horrors of ground zero. Absorbing, hard and challenging in many ways. Thank you to the author. Thank you to #netgalley and the publisher for an ARC.

This was an interesting memoir.
Written by a woman who worked in the recovery efforts at Ground Zero in 2001, this was a raw and often brutally honest picture of what that work entailed. When the rubble was cleared and the memorials were in the planning stages, Solange and many others found themselves at loose ends, dealing with health problems and mental health issues. How she managed to keep herself from losing herself completely in the abyss of depression and was able to rebuild her life is truly an amazing story…

*I received a digital copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are strictly my own.*

4.5 stars - This is an absolutely harrowing and fascinating account of one of the few women who worked in rescue and recovery efforts at Ground Zero in the months after 9/11. Schwalbe's story is unbelievable and told with a lot of honesty and care. I learned things about the time frame after this tragedy that I was unaware of before (even after visiting the 9/11 Memorial and Museum in New York a few years ago). I have so much gratitude that Schwalbe decided to share her story, even as painful and somber as it is. The only reason I had to deduct half a star is because there was a lot of repetition, even complete sentences separated by just a few lines. Wish this book had a stronger editor to catch these things, because otherwise, this would definitely have been a five-star read for me.