Profound. Powerful. Enlightening.

If you have ever had a conversation with someone who doesn't wholeheartedly believe what you do on every topic, you need this book!

"The truth is, we do need arguments." 🔥🔥🔥

Lambert addresses how to respectfully disagree as a Christian with anyone in this wildly argumentative day and age where people are mostly no longer skilled at even listening to an opinion that differs from their own. Lambert gives readers tactics and structure- "scaffolding"- to lovingly respond in a way that both glorifies God and honors the truth that is being challenged. He helps readers compose the kind of conversations that add clarity, and logic, thoughtfully.

Oh man! What a challenging book to read as someone who is ALWAYS ready for a good debate. But people- let alone strangers- don't want a debate; they don't want to be told they are wrong. So you have four options: ignore the incorrect statement, tell the person that their feelings matter ignoring the false statement, tell the person they are wrong and why, or address the heart of the issue. Lambert calls the third the "rude response" and the last the "better response". But responding in love is definitely not the first two.

The "better response" has 4 elements: affirm, empathize, ask, and answer. I can hear it now, "AFFIRM their incorrect opinion?" Not technically. Lambert suggests affirming the reason behind the incorrect statement. "Unplanned pregnancies ARE so hard!" The second point to address is the feeling behind their viewpoint. You don't have to agree with their emotional response to acknowledge it. "You sound afraid, I don't want you to be afraid." Third is to ask a non-offensive question to get to the heart of the matter. "What about socialism do you love?" And finally, potentially the hardest part, answering from a biblical perspective. You have to know biblical truth, you have to communicate it in a non-offensive way, and you have to make sure God, not you, is being glorified in your response.

And that's all BEFORE the first chapter!! 🤯

I love how Lambert ends the book by addressing the Holy Spirit's supreme power through all of our conversations. In everything, the Holy Spirit gives us "power, poise, protection, and prompting." Are we in tune and humble enough to listen for, hear, and obey? Man! What a convicting, sanctifying book! 🙌🏻👏🏻

Favorite quotes:

"It's truth and love. Clarity and compassion. Boldness and grace. These aren't mutually exclusive or opposing values. They're complimentary. It's like how Paul told us to speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:15)"

"- it's just Tuesday." 🫰🏻🤏🏻

"You need to know who a person is, why they think the way they do, and how they receive ideas. These layers invisibly shape tone, tension, defensiveness, openness, and the direction of the moment."

"I tried reason, theology, and empathy... all good things, for sure. But none of them connected. It wasn't until I shared a story that the conversation shifted from comprehension to connection."

"God isn't afraid of the truth. He redeems it. And that's what makes the scriptures powerful."

"55% of our communication is nonverbal, 38% is tone of voice, and only 7% comes from the actual words." (An important reason why conversations over text are so easy to misconstrue!)

"I didn't have to rush to the punch line. Because I now saw the whole life of Jesus as gospel. And that gave me so much more to work with. I could have a conversation about money and bring Jesus in. I could talk about justice- and bring in Jesus. I could talk about rest or relationships or purpose- and bring in Jesus. Because he's not just the one who died. He's the one who lived."

"Courage and confrontation are expensive virtues. They cost applause, opportunity, sometimes safety. But the price of silence is higher- it costs integrity."

"'The thing about being a living sacrifice is that you can always get off the altar.' ... that's the struggle- daily concentration. Staying on the altar. Staying surrendered." 🤯

"Become someone who refuses to use holiness as a hammer but allows it to be a light- one that exposes without humiliation or shame."

"We're not just persuading minds; we're contending for hearts that have been subtly disciplined by darkness."

I already look forward to rereading this book and gleaning even more from it next time!!

Thank you to David C Cook and NetGalley for this ARC!