Say What You Mean
A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication
by Oren Jay Sofer
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Pub Date Dec 11 2018 | Archive Date Dec 11 2018
Shambhala Publications, Inc. | Shambhala
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Description
Communication is hard. Here's a proven method that makes it not only considerably easier, but also much more effective for people on both sides of the conversation. Oren Sofer's method for effective communication is a unique combination of mindfulness with the modality called nonviolent communication (NVC), a method popular since the 1960s that is based on the belief that all human beings have the capacity for compassion and resort to violence or behavior that harms others only when they don't recognize more effective strategies for meeting needs. NVC provides those peaceful strategies. Oren's unique method for fostering peaceful—and effective—communication has three "steps" or components: (1) presence: bringing mindful awareness to the interaction, (2) intention: clarifying and setting a goal for the interaction, and (3) attention: learning to really hear and understand in a way that enables you to navigate the difficulties, express yourself clearly, and listen like it really matters—which it most certainly does. The steps are accompanied by many practical exercises, and in the course of this three-part training, readers will learn how to apply these skills to personal and social relationships with romantic partners, friends, colleagues, and family.
Available Editions
| EDITION | Other Format |
| ISBN | 9781611805833 |
| PRICE | $16.95 (USD) |
| PAGES | 272 |
Featured Reviews
Literary R, Reviewer
“Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication” by Oren Jay Sofer is a book I’ve long needed to read, as my hubby says I can “never land the plane” when I’m speaking to him! I’m so glad I found this incredibly helpful guide for improved connection through better communications with others!
I learned to speak and listen more effectively based on the author's unique approach that mixes mindfulness practices with the principles of nonviolent communication, a popular modality since the 1960s that posits that all human beings have the capacity for compassion when peaceful strategies are at the ready.
Oren's method teaches three steps: presence, intention and attention. The steps are accompanied by practical exercises that direct readers on how to apply them to personal and social relationships with romantic partners, friends, colleagues, and family. Highly recommended!
Pub Date 11 Dec 2018
Thanks to Shambhala Publications, Inc. and NetGalley for the review copy. Opinions are fully mine.
#SayWhatYouMean #NetGalley
Anne Marie B, Reviewer
This is a powerful, yet practical book that combines the practice of mindfulness with the methodologies of nonviolent communication as taught by Marshall Rosenberg, along with Somatic Experiencing as taught by Peter Levine. Each of these is effective and powerful and it’s own right, but this author weaves them together to for. Something new and transformative. He breaks the process down into three steps:
1. Lead with presence.
2. Come from curiosity and care.
3. Focus on what matters.
Each section focuses on one of these three steps in great detail because well each that might sound simple, it is definitely not always easy to communicate this way! The author compares learning new communication skills to learning a new language and urges us to take our time and follow the practical suggestions throughout the book.
I can honestly say that following the suggestions and “learning this new language“ is having a positive effect on my life and on my relationships.
With gratitude to NetGalley, the author and the author for an advanced reading copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Amanda T, Librarian
New to meditation practice, I was intrigued when I heard about this book, and I'm glad I decided to pick it up! The practice that Oren Jay Sofer lays out in "Say What You Mean" is not easy to implement, but the tenets behind it: mindfulness & nonviolent communication are invaluable, especially considering the current political climate. I'm excited to begin trying out some of these practices myself, and I think everyone could benefit from reading and giving this a try!
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