DAD

I enjoy medical memoirs, midwife memoirs, and TV programmes about birth stories etc, this is nice to have the pregnancy and birth circumstances told from the parents' side. Just as interesting.

Unusual concept in that it's the views of the dads, not the mums. And we never usually get that. Do we know how the father is doing? No. Here's an insight into just that.

The book opens with a couple’s experiences of birth during the pandemic. I can certainly relate to that as my son and his fiancée had their baby girl during COVID19 restrictions. For one moment I thought, maybe this book is mostly for men to read? Not a bit of it! I found it really interesting to read. It's good to get the father's side of the story, you don't usually get that, not much anyway. How are they coping with eg miscarriage, infertility, fertility treatment etc?

There are lots of different scenarios-shared care, gay dads, surrogacy etc. The book was very well presented, interesting, and emotional and moving. I’m sure many people reading the stories in this book will find them a help and comfort. Knowing others have been there, got through it etc.

An excellent book.

This book has been compiled by Elliott Rae – founder of MFF (MusicFootballFatherhood), a parenting and lifestyle platform whose uniqueness in a world where Mumsnet sways political party policies, is its focus on fathers.

The book consists of 20 chapters – all written by different authors (one by Elliott Rae himself on PTSD after childbirth, another by Billy Grant which is very much about the three topics of Music – and being a successful producer, Football – Brentford - and Fatherhood – and overcoming prejudice), each of which discusses a different angle on fatherhood.

The other chapters are around the topics of: being a new Dad in the pandemic; growing up without a Dad; being a Dad with limited access to the children after a marital breakdown; being a stay-at-home Dad and shared parental leave; surrogate Fatherhood as a gay Dad; becoming a widower with two young children; being a Dad of a child with autism; dealing with miscarriages; being an immigrant Dad; being a Father to teenage girls; being bullied at work as a new Dad; life after stillbirth; being a Stepdad; postnatal depression in Fathers and mothers; interracial parenting; Christian faith and its influence on being a Dad; co-parenting as a Divorced Dad; rediscovering a passion for music and purpose after becoming a Dad.

Each though is written from a personal (not general) viewpoint – with a father openly sharing his own experiences, struggles and successes.

If there is some overall themes to the chapters they include: fatherhood is both harder but much more rewarding than any of the Dad’s anticipated; childbirth is definitely more traumatic and emotionally wrenching than most believed; your background influences but does not limit your abilities as a Dad; and most importantly of all – the need for mean to be open and honest about their feelings and experiences with themselves, their partners and with other men: so many of the chapters include a line like “this is the first time I have spoken about this”.

The book feels particularly timely for 2021 given the increased focus on men’s mental health (likely exacerbated by both the pandemic and the economic impact of lockdown), the way that lockdown has in many cases placed both pressures on childcare but also opportunities for work-from-home Dad’s to see more of their families.

Highly recommended.