How to Find the Right Words
A guide to delivering life's most awkward messages
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Pub Date 19 Oct 2021 | Archive Date 07 Jan 2022
Twenty case studies explaining how to gently deliver a range of life’s most awkward messages while causing minimal harm.
Life constantly requires us to give other people some hugely awkward messages: that we don’t love them anymore; that we do love them (though we’re not meant to); that they smell a bit; that they’re fired; that we’re furious with them (though we adore them) or that their music is too loud...
Often, out of embarrassment, we just stay quiet. Occasionally we explode. And typically, we stumble about, looking for the right words – dreading that we didn’t find them and thereby causing more hurt than we should.
This is a book to help us locate the best possible words to get across a range of life’s most difficult messages. With twenty case studies drawn from relationships, friendships, work, our families, and social situations, we are gently shown what we might – in an ideal world – find ourselves saying to make our intentions known while causing minimal harm. We are guided, among other topics, to how best to end a relationship, how to make it up with a child, and how gently to let down a friend who wants more.
We laugh, we recognize our troubles – and we’re introduced to a range of deeply empathetic ways to navigate some of our most acute social dilemmas.
Available on NetGalley
Average rating from 27 members
In life, we always want to let others know how we feel and we also want to be kind at the same time. .and, doing these two acts together is not an easy task as both of them seem entirely opposed to each other. If we reveal the true depth of our anger, frustration and disdain we might ruin a friendship or relationship. and , if we said nothing then there would be a sense of claustrophobia (Ghutan is also a word in Hindi which represents this feeling ) and inauthenticity.
Too often, unsure of how to proceed, we veer between extremes either we say nothing for too long or we explode suddenly someday.
Speaking up directly and politely is an art. This education should have started at our homes. But most of the time what we are exposed to at our homes ? sulking or screaming , insistence or denial. We create wrong definitions of good boys and girls. and , the kids end up becoming that but that doesn’t mean that they have nothing tricky they wanted to say. They simply close their mouths and swallow their complaints in order to be called that “Good” boy or girl.
And, here comes diplomacy. Diplomacy is the art of advancing an idea or cause without unnecessarily inflaming passions. Diplomacy is supposed to be a skill that evolved to deal with problems in relationships between countries, where diplomats are used to convey messages in less inflammatory ways. It avoids the decisions taken in the heat of the moment. These are the same set of skills that matter in many areas of our daily life.
When you have to do this difficult conversation you have to take care of a few things - you need to respect the person sitting in front of you, admit your own errors if any, and pass on the message ( a very tricky part ) . after passing the message be prepared for any sudden loss of temper, a wild accusation, a very mean remark - do not take them personally. It needs practice but if started early in childhood it can be mastered. But wouldn’t that ruin the kids of their innocent childhood or adolescence ? Maybe it's not for kids but what about adults ?
This is a nice ~90 page book and provides a good idea about how to find the right words to convey your feeling without flaring passion .
Go for this book !!!
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