In It Together

Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family

You must sign in to see if this title is available for request.
Send NetGalley books directly to your Kindle or Kindle app

1
To read on a Kindle or Kindle app, please add kindle@netgalley.com as an approved email address to receive files in your Amazon account. Click here for step-by-step instructions.
2
Also find your Kindle email address within your Amazon account, and enter it here.
Pub Date 03 Mar 2023 | Archive Date 15 Mar 2023
Hazel Boydell, Thornapple Press

Description

Millions of people worldwide are coping with depression. Whether it’ s you, a family member, a friend or a partner — odds are depression affects your life. Even so, many of us don’ t know what to do when it hits someone we care about. JoEllen Notte challenges the preconceived notions that keep us from showing up for each other in a meaningful way and offers strategies for supporting each other and ourselves when depression comes calling. Challenging the notions that tell us "that's not my business" or "they probably don't want to talk about that," In It Together equips readers to navigate depression alongside the people they care about. Informed by interviews with over 200 people coping with depression and featuring practical tips and real-life examples, In it Together is an insightful and much-needed guidebook for people with depression and those who love them.

Millions of people worldwide are coping with depression. Whether it’ s you, a family member, a friend or a partner — odds are depression affects your life. Even so, many of...


Advance Praise

In It Together is a must-read for anyone who loves someone with mental illness. This easy-to-read handbook for how to show you care about someone with depression is overflowing with honesty, concrete suggestions, and outright hope.

JoEllen writes with unquestionable authority on the subject, both as someone who has surveyed and interviewed hundreds of people with depression, and also as someone who has wrestled tenaciously with the voices in her own head. Through personal stories, forthright suggestions, and even “cheat sheets,” she lays out a vision for what healthy, productive relationships might look like, and also provides specific steps for how to get there.

If you have a loved one with depression, you may often find yourself asking what to do, what to say, and how to help. In It Together is a powerful, timely and helpful answer to these questions.”—Michael J. Scholtes, author of Darkwater: A Pastor's Memoir of Depression and Faith


“There is undeniably no one else writing about the effects of depression on relationships with such a depth of understanding and perspicuity than JoEllen Notte.

A trailblazer in the world of mental health advocacy, JoEllen expertly shepherds us past the isolating and confusing world depression inhabits within our loved ones. This is an empathetic manual on how to create and maintain loving, supportive, healthy relationships.”—Elle Chase, author of Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life

In It Together is a must-read for anyone who loves someone with mental illness. This easy-to-read handbook for how to show you care about someone with depression is overflowing with honesty...


Marketing Plan

Selected podcasts, reading events, and interviews in winter/spring 2023.

Selected podcasts, reading events, and interviews in winter/spring 2023.


Available Editions

EDITION Other Format
ISBN 9781990869082
PRICE $24.95 (USD)
PAGES 264

Available on NetGalley

NetGalley Shelf App (PDF)
Send to Kindle (PDF)
Download (PDF)

Average rating from 1 member


Featured Reviews

“In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends and Family” by JoEllen Notte is essential reading for anyone who has a friend or loved one who suffers from depression. Depression is now considered a major cause of disability worldwide, affecting approximately 5% of adults. Much is assumed but too little is understood about this condition which can and too often does culminate in suicide.

JoEllen Notte provides a lucid and very topical wakeup call, not only to those whose friends and loved ones suffer from depression, but also to anyone who wants to better understand the condition. That she is an insider gives her the unique perspective of someone who lives with the disease, day in, day out and has done for many years. Not content with having personal experience however, Notte also bases her advice on thorough research, having conducted and collated several years of surveys and interviews with thousands of others living with depression through her blog The Redhead Bedhead. She possesses the rare skill of being able to address those on the outside with sensitivity, insight and humour. Unlike many “how-to” books, this one resonates with authenticity, real insight and practical suggestions.

So powerful and logical are her messages that they could equally be adapted for other situations where a friend or loved one is suffering (for example from bereavement, sudden bad news, health crisis, etc.) where you want desperately to offer help and support but don’t know how.

Notte doesn’t pull any punches in challenging assumptions, for example the often heard “it’s not my place” excuse for not reaching out or recommending that if positive support and help is beyond you, admit it and step away.

Even for those who may think they’re well versed in the condition, there is information here about the nature of depression that makes it clear there is more to understand. For example, the disease is not easily identifiable, it can vary from person to person and episode to episode, its effects are both physical and emotional and it isn’t necessarily only about sadness - “Sometimes depression isn’t so much the presence of unhappiness as much as it is the absence of, well everything” such as joy, hope, cheerfulness, optimism, purpose, etc.

It’s timely again that Notte highlights the ongoing stigma that society (even in the light of expanded knowledge and understanding) still associates with mental illness and how it’s often widely perceived even by members of the medical profession as not a “real” illness in the way that cancer, for example, is. It is a condition that’s all too easily written off as “all in the head”. Mental illness is seen by many of us as shameful, scary, something to be judged or laughed at.

There are so many gems of wisdom in here, but the standouts include what Notte calls “being in it together” or working as a team against the condition not the person, offer support and empathy, not advice or “solutions”, and many suggestions of constructive ways to help. Instead of offering platitudes, or open-ended “let me know if I can help” statements, stop and think what the person might really appreciate.

Even if you’re fortunate enough not to be one of those the book is designed to help, reading it will expand your understanding of the nature of mental illness and the not so simple art of behaving like a decent human being. A wonderful quote is “…the world would be a better place if we all cut each other some slack and assumed good intentions first …”

Thanks to the publisher, Thornapple Press, for providing me with an advance review copy.

Was this review helpful?