Ask Yourself: The Consent Culture Workbook by Kitty Stryker reads like having a conversation with an expert on healthy relationships, not solely sexual ones. Kitty Stryker is the creator of Kinky Salon London and a feminist who uses a power-conscious analysis when discussing consent.

This workbook exceeded my expectations with the broad scope of information presented in the text, the global perspectives considered from beyond US culture, and the books, essays, and podcasts shared at the end. Stryker writes that by respecting our individual and collective differences we can become more connected to one another. She writes that oppression thrives on our disconnection to each other and to self so she created this workbook as a guide to help us consider important questions about how we define terms, set boundaries, and understand consent. She wrote this workbook full of insights, prompts, and questions to help us come up with our own conclusions and solutions that best fit the context of our lives and the communities we are a part of.

The book is broken down into the following sections:

Week One: Our internal beliefs
Week Two: Our relationship to loved ones
Week Three: Our relationship to our community
Week Four: Self-reflection

Consent is such a nuanced term and we all understand what it means differently based on our own intersectional identities. Stryker does a phenomenal job of asking the right questions of us so that we can get clear with self and in turn build a culture of consent in our daily lives and relationships.

Thank you to the author and publisher for the e-arc copy!

A book everyone should read. Seriously. An incredibly important conversation that everyone should read, no matter what gender featuring incredibly important conversations.

I read Ask: Building Consent Culture and based on that I requested this book. They are different books, but a great pair. If the first book is thought provoking regarding how consent is not easy or always clear and is an ongoing process, this book's prompts for writing or reflecting and thinking about boundaries in general (not just physical boundaries or sexual boundaries) was even better. I'm thinking about how to use this in college courses.

Some folks may not appreciate the context in which Kitty Stryker's work on consent took shape (sex work, BDSM community), but it is important. I hate to think that it would put some people off for she is making a much wider argument for boundaries beyond physical and sexual, but also around time and labor and emotional availability. I work with undergrads and they need to hear this because generally speaking they are so busy, so overwhelmed, and feel like they are often failing, in addition to often trying to figure out a balance of needs in their romantic and sexual relationships.

I believe that this type of book should be translated into all possible languages ​​and be read by all. ALL.

It is one of those books that even though you finish reading, you leave it close at hand because you constantly go back to it and look for a certain reference, read a certain paragraph again.

It is not one of those books that one can read quickly (at least not me) because it has so much information and so many things to assimilate, reflect on and think again that you cannot go from one page to the other as if nothing had happened.

They are readings that change you, that open your head, that make you THINK. And many times those readings are not the most popular, unfortunately.

I wish books like this didn't exist. But in the world we are in, with this society that makes us fight every day for the least... they are necessary. And I'm glad that there are people who are encouraged to express, to make us think, to invite us to question everything that surrounds us.

Thanks NetGalley and Hazel Boydell for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I browsed this book fairly quickly, so did not really read it. My purpose was to see if it was a good resource to use with teens, in counselling, and life in general. It sure seems like it, and I will be keeping this title in mind for when the occasion comes up to get it. Thank you!

I feel like I should let it be known that I did not spend as much time on this book as I could/should have. Rather, in an effort to get my review written, I decided not to explore it as the workbook it is intended to be. As a reader, this did leave me with some degree of detachment. And yet…it was still impactful.

The fact that I did not utilize this book to its full potential but still benefitted from reading it is a true testament to how thoughtfully it was created. The fact that I would like to revisit the workbook when I have more time/energy for reflection and journaling is an even bigger testament - as I rarely revisit any books after I have read them once.

Stryker did a fantastic job of creating a workbook that is accessible and interesting, no matter one’s experience with consent culture & education. The book really succeeds at expanding the conversation beyond sex; turning consent into a way of life for all interactions, big or small. It asks you to truthfully examine areas where you can improve. And it does so by prompting reflections both micro- and macroscopic: how you engage with yourself, your interpersonal relationships, and your broader community.

Interspersed throughout are personal stories (from Stryker and other individuals). Through this, the book offers insight into the history of consent culture & advocacy. It also provides little bits of theory, like Betty Martin's fascinating four-quadrant model. And it asks uncomfortable questions, like does consent always need to be enthusiastic? Or can it simply be “engaged?” The workbook dives deep for a truly nuanced study of consent - which I am so happy to finally see in more recent mainstream writings on the topic.

Overall, I am happy to have read through this book. It has given me a lot to continue thinking about - along with a few additional resources that seem intriguing to pursue. It’s also convinced me that I definitely need to pick up the companion book “Ask: Building Consent Culture” (which has embarassingly been on my TBR since it came out in 2017).

Ask Yourself; The Consent Culture Workbook by Kitty Stryker This was a beautifully comprehensive guide for journaling and getting to know yourself better all about consent and consent culture. I was truly thankful to have gotten to read this before most people! I would like to purchase this one for my physical library!

We need more books like this, more workbooks like this, more spaces like this - giving folks opportunities to think more deeply about what concepts like consent mean to them and could mean to others as well. I appreciated the invitation to consider that each individual, depending on their own live experience, culture, language etc could have a different understanding of what it looks like.

I hope to read more from this author and come back to this workbook to work through each of the prompts. Consent can seem complex, particularly once you consider whether one holds one or more historically marginalized identities or positionalities, or perhaps even more challenging (in the context of understanding and seeking rather than assuming consent) when one holds privilege which often looks like being unaware of it.

Consent is already something I'm steeped in due to my work and I'm grateful for the space to think more deeply about how best to ask for and receive consent from folks I'm in relationship with or supporting.

Thanks NetGalley and Kitty Stryker for the ARC. All opinions are my own.

Ask Yourself by Kitty Stryker is a thought-provoking and educational read that challenges readers to reflect on consent, boundaries, and personal ethics in everyday life. With a candid and accessible tone, Stryker offers insightful prompts and real-world scenarios that encourage introspection and growth. While the book occasionally feels repetitive, its core message is powerful and timely, making it a valuable resource for anyone interested in cultivating a more intentional and respectful way of living. A solid 4-star read that sparks meaningful self-examination.

This book is a valuable resource for translation and reading in all languages, with thought-provoking content that can transform the reader's perspective. Despite not being the most popular, books like this promote critical thinking, which is essential in today's society. Fortunately, there are authors who encourage us to question the world around us, and this book is a great example.

A considerate, practical, and essential workbook that acts as guidance for the reader through their own beliefs of consent and its implementation.

Thank you to the author and the publisher for this ARC through NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

This wasn't the book I was expecting, so please bear this in mind when taking my rating into consideration. I think this book is important reading for anyone involved actively in the BDSM scene or anyone who is kind of a group member or associated with any kind of power dynamic when it comes to sex. There are helpful prompts to work through regarding your understanding of consent and where you want to take things in your learning journey. For me personally as an individual recovering from sexual abuse and child sexual trauma this was absolutely not the book for me, so I would encourage potential readers who may be triggered by any of these topics to think carefully before choosing to read this book. I am grateful to have had the opportunity, it wasn't for me on this occasion.