Decodependence

Interesting graphic novel memoir. I don’t really care for rating or reviewing memoirs because it feels icky to rate someone’s life. But I did enjoy reading it and the art was nice!

After reading Decodependence by Lila Ash, really opens your eyes to the different types of relationships out there. Having been married for the past 14 years, you sometimes don't think about how another person is affected by a relationship and sometimes forget what love was like before meeting the person you're married to. Reading Decodependence, it brought back memories from the before aspect for me and it made me realize I could relate in a way. I highly recommend this book for anybody who would like to read on codependence on somebody in a relationship and how to break the cycle of the codependence, by becoming de-codependent upon somebody to make a relationship work.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the free copy of Decodependence by Lila Ash in exchange for an honest review.

It's hard to assign a rating to the story of someone's life, and I always feel a little bad when someone's story falls flat for me. So to be very clear, I'm rating this based how I felt about the topics Ash addresses are handled.

What I liked: The way she talks about boundaries, about mental health, about how women and girls are told that their value lies in their sexiness and youth, and then are shamed for those things. This whole book is really open and honest about that, and I have been (emotionally speaking) many of the places she describes, and I don't see that a lot in media, so I appreciated her candid portrayal of codependence.

What didn't work for me: The end of the book left me feeling like she hadn't fully processed everything that she's writing about, almost as if she's writing from inside the experience. I understand the value of that as a creator, but it almost feels like she's trying to give life advice on something that she's still in the midst of. Memoirs that do this always leave me feeling a little iffy, so this might just be a personal thing. Obviously there's value in talking about the experience and acknowledging how it feels in the moment, but as a reader it feels like I'm sitting in on a therapy session that I can't contribute to. Maybe this is a philosophical question about the purpose of writing memoir, I don't know... but I walked away from this feeling a bit unsure about who this book is meant for. Yes, it portrays codependence well, but I'm not sure how far through the 'de' part this memoir takes us.

Thank you to NetGalley for giving me a chance to read this memoir-in-comics.

Gave a very raw account of his childhood trauma and the lack of affection in one’s formative years leads us to make poor choices in partners later in life. Examines how one falls into the trappings of being the “perfect partner” in order to keep a partner that has no intention of being kept. I’m glad it doesn’t have a HEA and just shows how she is trying to love herself better and how it’s a fight each and everyday.

A collection to understand how and perhaps how the author became codependent as an adult. This quote stuck out to me "the idea that my role as a female was to dutifully serve my partner and thus transform my entire reason for living into a saccharine fairy tale?".

Codependent partners often have trouble discerning the difference between sex and love. As pointed to use to attract and keep partners. But also the heartache and confusion when it doesn't forming an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and men in authoritive roles. Tough read but such a compelling journey.

This author opened up some of the most vulnerable parts of their life by writing a book about their mental health struggles. The vulnerability was very appreciated, and the story flowed well. Although the book did not have a HEA in the sense of "Yay, I'm cured," the book did end with a feeling of hope. The ending was more about the progress they've made with their mental health and where they hope to continue making progress in the future. That helps the reader root for the author and hope that the author continues making progress.

A brave and honest recollection of the author's struggle with codependence and how it impacted her views on sex and love, Decodependence is at once hopeful and very difficult to read, at times. The chapters are divided into specific stories about the author at a certain time in her life, all of which bring up sub-themes that fall under the main theme of codependence. It's not only interesting as a story, but also insightful and education to anyone who has struggled with codependence or known someone who is.

On the fence about this one. On one hand, this could be a valuable resource for people dealing with dependency in their relationships. On the other hand it feels like reading someone’s diary or listening in on their therapy sessions. As someone inexperienced with these kinds of relationships, reading this book made me feel a bit awkward. Giving this a yes vote as I believe some people would definitely benefit from reading it.

Decodependence is a very interesting and even uncomfortable to read in parts as it seems a little too familiar to my teenage memory.
It is well written and beautifully illustrated. An important memoir which will speak to many people I am sure.

The 4 star rating is for overall.
Storyline is a 4 star as well.
Graphics is a 2 star though.

This book was a little of a let down but it was still good. I enjoyed the story it told about being codependent on other people and wanting to try to change so that you don't depend on others so much.

But, on the other hand the graphics were not my style at all. Some were a little too strange and some just didn't make sense to me for the placement of the picture.

I expected to relate to some elements of this memoir, but I was not prepared to be called out that much. I couldn't put it down. The attention to detail in the art helped propel the story and added elements of humor.

I enjoyed that the end was not fully resolved or a set of instructions on how to 'cure' yourself. Though it isn't a self-help book, I appreciated the snippets of advice and additional information/resources about codependence.

This was a very interesting story to follow. Inside view into someones mind that keeps you wanting for more. Intimate portrayal of inner workings and struggles of ones mind. Many ups and downs that we experience in our life can be seen through the characters eyes. At times a bit hard to follow but over all a great story.

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Y'all I have been in my graphic novel memoir era. This one was certainly darker than my past reads (drug and alcohol abuse, toxic and abusive relationships, pedophilia) but I thought the author, Lila Ash, handled it all well as she explored various aspects of codependency. I feel uncomfortable judging memoirs, especially about such a personal material, the same way I do for novels, but I will say I did enjoy this despite it being heavier than my usual reads. I liked the art style and the way the book was in sections based on things codependents struggle with, I would not recommend this to just anyone, as it could be quite triggering, but for someone looking for a read focusing on mental illness and coming out the other side, I would say check it out!
3.5 stars

This was pretty funny at points, little sad at others, but my main gripe with this book is how it was presented as a review copy. A double spread for every page, making it where had to zoom in each time to read a page, made it very difficult to read. On top of it having a copyright note every single page. Probably not the best idea when trying to have someone read and enjoy the book.

But it is pretty solid storytelling. Very newspaper design for the storytelling but a deeper, a lot more sexual, than that of course. I believe this might be about the author's life, and like any person, we depending on people. She might a bit too much at points, but that's the point of the entire book. Sure plenty can relate.

A 3 out of 5. Thank you Netgallery for a ARC for a fair review.

I was not expecting to relate and feel called out as much as I did while reading this. Funny and heartbreaking, this graphic memoir explores the cartoonist’s life experiences around men, including her father, with each chapter starting off with a characteristic of being codependent. Part of me wished the book was in black and white.

Overall, this was an entertaining summer read for me. Author and illustrator Lila Ash meets the reader with refreshing self-awareness. This immediately ingratiates the reader to Ash. Because of this, as a reader I couldn’t help but root for her, despite romantic choices that would make even Carrie Bradshaw blush. At times the prose comes off as cliché, but the author’s honesty and earnestness in her storytelling overshadows moments of hokeyness. Ash’s strongest element in this tragicomic is how she is able to convey the dark seriousness of codependency, a word often thrown around in the TikTok sphere; in this book codependency is given the gravity it isn’t often afforded. The reader is left with the realization that codependency isn’t far off from evolving into domestic abuse, and the hope that Ash can continue on a healthy path that includes both love and independence.

Lila Ash shares in visual and narrative format in this book, and the use of words and images works well. I appreciate the way Ash uses the comics form to share a personal story and exploration, and recommend Decodependence for readers who want to see new directions in the medium.

An interesting graphic memoir that delves in to explore how it is that some of the bad habits within modern day society are acquired and the thinking behind them and the journey to overcome them.

Thank you Netgalley and the publishers for allowing me to read this e-arc
I didn't enjoy this book that much. The graphics were very hard to read online too.

I had the pleasure of delving into the graphic memoir Decodependence: A Romantic Tragicomic by Lila Ash, and it's a vulnerable yet humorous journey through the lens of recovering codependency. Ash skillfully combines charming illustrations and a sardonic yet relatable voice to explore her experiences with family, love, and sex. In her late twenties, she found herself trapped in the traumas of her past relationships, trying everything from therapy to drugs before discovering Codependents Anonymous (CoDA), where she realized she ticked off every box for codependency. As she draws her way through her experiences, she fearlessly confronts the codependent behaviors that have shaped her life.

This memoir is an open and honest portrayal of codependence, addressing mental health and boundaries with grace. However, as I journeyed through the pages, I found myself pondering the book's intended audience. While the raw and in-the-moment storytelling adds authenticity, it also leaves me wondering if the author is still processing their experiences. Nevertheless, Decodependence is a compelling read that sheds light on codependent relationship behaviors, making it an excellent choice for those seeking understanding in their own lives. Whether you're a fan of graphic novelists or interested in mental health narratives, this memoir promises to leave a lasting impression.

I give Lila Ash props for telling her story. It could not have been an easy process making her life so public like this. However, I am too much of a prude for this story. I did not realize it would have been so focused on her underage sexual endeavors. For this reason I did not really enjoy it and the 3 out 5 stars is more for the strength Lila has shown telling her story.

Also, warning if you are going to read this on the kindle, the formatting does not work properly. This is my first attempt at a Netgally arc so I am unsure if this is by design to deter piracy or if there was an issue between the file and my kindle. I did not take this into consideration in my rating.

The author is straightforward and pulls no punches when it comes to detailing her fraught history with her mental illness and codependent tendencies when it comes to sex and relationships. Quick read, but not to be taken lightly.

"Decodependence" presents an intriguing concept but falls short of fully delivering on its promise. While there are elements to appreciate, the overall execution left me with a sense of detachment. It's a book that might resonate more with readers seeking a different approach to examining relationships through technology.

"Decodependence" is an eye-opening tale of one woman's struggle with relationship Codependency. The author highlights her struggle using a comic medium. This choice gave her story a different light as the portrayal of each panel only deepened the emotional impact. There were times I recognized my own behaviors and got angry at the author for going back to a relationship that only caused her pain. It's easier to judge when it's laid out in front of you, but not so easy to see when you're in the middle of it. The author completed a full circle with her Codependence, highlighting her early years with her father, her need to be wanted as a teen, and not seeing a cycle of abuse as a woman.

WOW. This book hit home HARD.

I found this book on a whim because I was working on a book challenge that called for a comic or graphic novel. So, I looked through NetGalley to see what was out there, and when I saw this, it peeked my interest, and it was READ NOW so I decided to give it a go.

I was NOT expecting to feel so called out by the time I was done with it. LOL

Something you need to know about me: I'm pretty much a therapist's dream. There's something to be said about someone who is SO self-aware of all their short-comings (codependent, ADHD, anxious/depressed), and not being able to do anything about it. And all those terrible relationships I was in (I use the term relationship very loosely) were just me looking for something to latch onto to get away from something else (usually my parents).

I AM happy to report that I'm in a relatively healthy relationship now - we still have our days where my short-comings get the better of me!

This graphic novel explores a lot of hard hitting topics including: codependency, divorce, abusive relationships, alcoholism, and mental illness. Raw and gritty Lila Ash gives readers a deep dive into her life, struggles, hopes, dreams, and most importantly her healing journey.

Decodependence deals with the intricacies and challenges of relationships, sex, and coming-of-age. While written as a memoir, the storyline is one I imagine many readers can relate to, especially readers who have hit their 20s.

The memoir is sectioned into chapters that tackle different aspects of being codependent and having an unhealthy attachment style. The author gives life to her memories in a way that rings genuine and relatable, discussing her relationship with her parents, her sexual awakening, and her first real boyfriend and love. While the graphic novel is filled with that sense of dread and hopelessness that sits in your stomach at 18, 19, 25, and every age in between, the author ends her work with a sense of hope and offers some solutions for this way of life that can be draining and debilitating at its worst.

The art style gives a diaristic feel to the narrative, and while not my favorite art style, fits with the themes and storyline of the work.

Check CW/TW before reading. Thanks to NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for this honest review.

Lila Ash’s personal story of codependency is honest and raw.

The illustrations are creative and entertaining.

This book is full of dark emotions and a bit sad.

Thank you to Netgalley and the Publisher for the Advanced Readers Copy of Decodependence by Lila Ash!

Thank you to Netgalley and Chronicle Books, Princeton Architectural Press for this e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

The tragicomic, Codependence, is a vulnerable look at one woman's lifelong struggle with codependency within her romantic and sexual relationships. The art was visually appealing and easy to follow, and the author did a good job of injecting humor into a story with an otherwise difficult subject matter..

The ending was a bit rushed, but overall, this was a good read.

TW (including but not limited to): substance abuse. abusive relationships, drugs, alcohol, divorce, etc.

CW/TW: Underage Drug usage, underage alcohol abuse, underage sexual situations

Decodependence: A Romantic Tragicomic, a graphic novel by Lila Ash, is a memoir that is nothing short of vulnerable with a bite of humor on the side. Ash does an incredible job laying out the reflections of past relationships and navigating her recovery of codependency.

Artwork:
As this is a graphic novel, I do want to comment on the art. Lila Ash’s artwork is personally not the type that I would purchase and hang up in my home. However, from a graphic novel standpoint, specifically for this story, it worked for me. The clean lines of the artwork gave way to allow for gritty details and frames that evoked the memory flashes of the author’s story.

Font:
This is where the book loses me. I hope that because it was an ARC it was not the final for publication. The font chosen for the layout was crunched and overall did not fit with the vibe of the story and looked better suited for a corporate job PowerPoint.

My Thoughts:

Whew! This one was quite difficult to read. Mostly because of how relatable some of those exact scenes were. They made me feel uncomfortable, brought up memories I purposefully stored away. And in that aspect, I give incredible kudos to the author for sharing this part of their life with the world. They bring up the earliest stages of where the codependency was influenced from their childhood through their present state.

While the book description touts this as a story of recovery, I do believe that the story ends almost at the beginning of the end of recovery for our storyteller. I am not sure if this was the author’s intent, I can only assume it was as anyone who goes through recovery, therapy, etc knows that the journey never ends. You are constantly working on yourself which is an aspect and reality I greatly appreciated from this story.

Depending on how you see it, the book does not tie in a pretty bow because it is not fiction, this is a memoir of real life and if there’s something to take away from this book is that if you found it relatable, hopefully it made you feel less alone. ❤️

**Thank you to Netgalley & Chronicle Books for an ARC of this book.

Lila Ash does a wonderful job in this book of sharing the trauma that she endured through various codependent relationships. So much of this book felt like a wake up call as well as a close friend validating so much of a typical lifestyle in our society. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone exploring healthier relationships in their lives and finding how to be their happiest and healthiest self.

3.75
This book was pretty interesting. The big watermark didn't really help but I understand why it was there. I liked the reoccurring motif of the cover image. It's not the most interesting thing that i've read which is why I'm only giving it 3.75 stars. I liked the artwork!

It feels strange to give three stars to a memoir, but I came up with that because--despite the strong emotional threads to the story and outlining the importance of boundaries--the lackluster graphics brought down the story for me. I'm also not a fan of books in which the entire story reads like the protagonist's therapy session, so that also influenced me. (I did appreciate how much I learned about codependent relationships, though.)

'Decodepende' by Lila Ash is a graphic memoir about the author's experience with codependence. It is a heavy book with beautiful art.

I'll write a better review when it comes out. The review copy has a watermark that's extremely distracting and covers 1/3 of every page. I don't think I can give it a fair review because of that. Based on the description I'm giving it 4 stars for now.