Deliver Me

This was just so devastating. It's dense with body horror and the grotesque of pregnancy (the original body horror), but really the horror here is how conservative Christianity dehumanizes women and girls in such a fundamental, bodily, sexual way that it's near impossible to recover from. It's about the way Christian ideology prepares women to accept, and even relish in a deeply masochistic way, their own abuse, and though the perversity of Daisy's internal monologue does a great job estranging us from commonsense Christian misogyny, the added element of David's entomophilia really brings it home with a nauseating gut punch. It's all so fucking sad, but I think Daisy's belief that her body is only valuable, that her personhood is only legible, that's she's only deserving of care or attention or love if she can get pregnant is the most difficult part. It's all laced with a subtle but biting commentary on fetal personhood, as well as the dehumanization of capitalism through Daisy's meat-packing plant job. Her intense, homoerotic jealousy with Sloane is another brilliant turn that helps us think about all the natural, normal bodies and desires Christianity turns ugly through its own perversity. I'm physically nauseous, 5 stars.

This book was quite the wild ride! Deliver me is an absolutely unhinged story of a girl who just wants to be loved and to have her own family.

Dee-Dee works at the local meatpacking plant. She's trying to escape from her religious trauma and lives with her boyfriend, Daddy, who has a weird thing for exotic bugs. After a few miscarriages, Dee-Dee becomes pregnant and will do whatever is necessary to prepare for her baby. However, when her childhood bestie comes back into to town, memories come flooding back.

Deliver Me was a fast-paced story that was hard to put down. It's so well written that it sucks you into Dee-Dee's world straight away. I loved that the book would shift from past to present so you could see why Dee-Dee is the way she is.

I also loved the way Dee-Dee was written, even though what she does is questionable, I couldn't help but feel bad for her. She just wants to live her best life, and I had to keep reading to see if she succeeds; even if the odds look pretty slim, and problematic.

Overall this was an amazing dark and disturbing character driven story, and if you loved the movie Pearl, you're going to love Deliver Me.

A big thank you to Netgalley and Unnamed Press for the gifted copy. Deliver Me comes out on October 3.

"Deliver Me" by Elle Nash takes us on a wild ride through the harsh realities of a meatpacking facility in the Missouri Ozarks, where Dee-Dee and her crew butcher thousands of chickens every day. But amidst the brutality, Dee-Dee's got even bigger worries – she's had some heartbreaking miscarriages, and now, she's pregnant again and hell-bent on bringing this baby into the world.

Of course, life ain't that simple for Dee-Dee. Her mom keeps nagging her to marry her boyfriend Daddy, who's got some seriously weird quirks. And just when she's starting to feel like she matters, an old friend named Sloane shows up, stirring up old desires and making Dee-Dee doubt everything.

But Dee-Dee's not giving up on her dream of being a mom, no matter what life throws her way – not even more heartbreaking news or Sloane's own pregnancy can stop her. Elle Nash's writing is raw and powerful, diving deep into the messy stuff of relationships, womanhood, and the search for acceptance. "Deliver Me" is an emotional rollercoaster that'll make you feel all the feels and leave you thinking about life's twists and turns long after the last page.

If you're a fan of Gillian Flynn or Ottessa Moshfegh, "Deliver Me" by Elle Nash is right up your alley! This book has that same dark and gripping vibe that'll keep you hooked from start to finish. Dee-Dee's character is so raw and real, just like the ones you find in Flynn's novels. And let me tell you, Nash isn't afraid to explore the nitty-gritty of life, just like Moshfegh does.

Thank you to NetGalley, Unnamed Press, and Elle Nash for this ARC!

“Cults come and go,” he said, “but the Pentecostal Church is forever.”

Holy shit… I don’t even know how to comprehend what I’ve just read. This book is so chocked full of religious abuse, trauma, toxic relationships, bug fetishes, and yearning for a life that you can never have. Daisy’s story will definitely be imprinted in my mind for a while, this is one of those books that you can never forget; even if you wanted to so badly.

This is my first Elle Nash book, so I’m just going to praise her for the way she had my emotions all over the place in this story, some parts I was so sad over the story, next thing you know it’s making my stomach churn and making me feel nauseous. This book had it’s shortcomings, some scenes and chapters went on for WAY too long. But regardless of that this book is still a really really REALLY good story about religious abuse from parents, and its affect it has on the children that have to bare this curse. As some would say, Christian love is the most harmful type of love known to man.

If you find yourself wanting to read this book, LOOK UP THE TRIGGER WARNINGS!!! There’s so many common triggers in this book so be wary. Anyhow, if you like body horror, toxic relationships between friends, family, and lovers; and how it blossoms into sometimes grotesque endings, I’d say go for it and pre-order a copy of Deliver me.

"In a meatpacking facility in the Missouri Ozarks, Dee-Dee and her co-workers kill and butcher 40,000 chickens in a single shift. The work is repetitive and brutal, with each stab and cut a punishment to her hands and joints, but Dee-Dee's more concerned with what's happening inside her body. After a series of devastating miscarriages, Dee-Dee has found herself pregnant, and she is determined to carry this child to term."

*triggers for animal cruelty, graphic/strange sex scenes*

I loved this book. Very dark and descriptive and it definitely stayed with me. This book had my curiosity from the beginning, between her strange boyfriend whom she called "Daddy", her pregnancy, her job, and her past growing up in an old fashioned Pentecostal Church with a God-fearing mother. An old friend also comes back into her life bringing an interesting dynamic. I found myself turning every page not sure what I would find but hungry for more.

I just finished "Deliver Me" by Elle Nash, and I'm here for this mind-bending journey. If you're up for something a little indie, atmospherically creepy, and a sprinkle of body horror - this one's for you.

Imagine watching a movie like "Where the Heart Is," but with dysfunctional families that are overzealously religious, and everyone has emotional baggage and poor hygiene.

I loved that title has more than one meaning - it plays on both the spiritual angle with the fanatical church's salvation mission and the freaky obsession with pregnancy.

Let me tell you, the unease was real! The author spun this eerie web of dual timelines that had me glued from start to finish. And the ending? Total "Woom" vibes. So if you're down for a thought provoking mind trip that'll leave you deliciously uncomfortable, "Deliver Me" is your next must-read.

FIrst of all, the cover is BEAUTIFUL. THe plot is developed so well and clues the reader in bit by bit masterfully. The characters were engaging and developed well. The prose was descriptive and beautiful. I was a little unsure of the topic when I got this from NetGalley, but I am so glad I read it. This is an author to keep an eye on.

This was my first book I've read from author Elle Nash and after reading Deliver Me, I really need to look into their back catalog. This was grimy and dark and the main character was so infuriating that I couldn't help but just read about how far she'd go next. This was unique and I'm glad I read it. Thank you to the publisher for this advanced copy.

If you like books along the lines of “ bunny “ etc you should check out this wonderfully weird book ….. it’s horrifying disturbing in a good way ….this book is feeling with morally gray characters that you shouldn’t care what happens to them but you can’t help but care and literally everyone is an unreliable narrorator but again again you can’t help but binge this book …. it’s def a book you could read multiple times and get a little more out of each and every time you read it …. def check the trigger warnings esp when it comes to sexually based material but if you think you can’t be affected by a book and you have everything figured out about a book from the start, I promise this one continues to keep you guessing and question morality and what makes things right or wrong..

If I could describe this book in a few words I'd say:

Psychological
Love
Abuse
Religious
Carnal
Repulsing
Unbecoming

Without spoiling anything, I just want to say that this was a refreshing literary experience that punches you right in the gut and forces you to be more observant and empathetic towards human behavior. The plot was severely tragic and sad.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for the ARC!

4 stars!

I finished this not long ago and my mind is still thinking about it. You can’t help but feel some sort of sympathy for Dee-Dee despite some of the stuff that happens. Don’t get me wrong, she isn’t innocent nor a character to be rooting for with some of the stuff she does, but reading how much she yearns to be loved, to be a mother, to have someone just show affection to her, her desperate attempts to make this pregnancy carry through, you feel for her. She reminded me of Pearl weirdly enough, you can’t help but feel for them both.

I clued in what the end was going to be like at one point of the book and thought. “OMFG This is really going to happen?!” I was compelled to know more about Dee-Dee and how her life would go and my interest was caught from the start.

Very descriptive of many different things: so please read TW before diving in to make sure this will be an okay read for you.

Honestly is one of the most disturbing books I've ever read and I loved it! There's such an undercurrent of anxiety running throughout the entirety of the book, but it's mostly about a girl who wants to be loved and the lengths she'll go to to get it. Highly recommend if it sounds intriguing to you! 4.5**

This takes steps beyond a fever dream into a waking nightmare.

This was a fantastic reflection on how conservative Christianity warps the expectations of women and motherhood, the cycle of poverty and abuse, and the insanity that is the experience of pregnancy.

Our protagonist Dee Dee is enigmatic and bizarre.

What this story does is so well executed, but there is so much graphic violence, body horror, trauma and disturbing imagery that it is a hell of a journey to get there.

3.5 - rounded up to 4 *

Final point - Dee Dee only referring to her partner as Daddy was so disturbing, and caused me to nearly DNF at the beginning of the book.

I’ve read Nash’s other three novels about bulimia, Satanism, and creepy-close female friendships. This immediately starts way less teenage, polished like a stake—but the MC’s involved in butchering steaks. No blood, just squishy, peachy fat to trim. The voice has a drawl when it comes to pace rather than spelling since the MC is a southern 30-something who grew up very religious. She believes she’s pregnant now (despite five miscarriages) to her shady boyfriend dubbed Daddy, but she’s more concerned about getting fatter than the logistics. With the MC DeeDee her mom’s “tongue clucking” about not trying to conceive before marriage, I assume this book will be one about her toppling the pedestal she put her mom on (though that advice is obviously just, hardly a pious opinion). This prose is so gorgeous, stainless, sultry, it seems to have aged a decade in Italy to ripen in fields w/ the most peculiarly pretty creepy-crawlies. The Pentecostal rituals can be flummoxing to an outsider but that’s the point w/ the flashback POV of a child holding down young, pretty Sloane pretending like a game to snarl in tongues to be saved.

“This underpinning of anxiety showed up one day like a rock in my shoe.” Crying over chicken corpses, letting cockroaches crawl over her nakedness because your slow boyfriend loves them more than her. She is so naive but not at all contemptible, always wanting a things to live despite the crushing forces of church-arrogant mothers, ex-con freak lovers. Wanting to care for a janky-eyed kitten, DeeDee discovers her long lost friend is her new neighbor, dragging up memories of jealousy, arousal, reptilian preachers. I love how subtle and show vs tell all the commentary on Christianity, blue collar jobs, parenting styles, and government is. Not preachy at all, just presented in a way to make obvious inferences. Something I always notice in Nash’s work is the beautifully obsessive nature towards food despite often writing characters with body image problems. This character is described as doughy and not all that pretty or youthful, which is a nice change up without being virtue-signaling like many people try to make a quota of. There’s also the good seesaw of thoughts foreshadowing what will come next and suitable for the pauses that come, say, waiting at the doctor’s to get weighed.

The prose is also very tied to the body in fiercely realistic ways: the vicious description of passing blood clots, the constantly enflamed pits, the slapping of bra marks on the skin, the hard press of seasonal wind on hipbones and paper-toweled lips. Even when someone is sucking a bloated tampon, it’s poetic!! What a feat, lol. Or on a smaller scale, shoveling in fast food to manifest a pregnancy with the look at first. Maybe it’s because I relate so much to the MC’s bi- and loneliness, her lack of motherhood despite wanting it so bad, or any familial connection at all, but it’s so rare to find a likable MC whose contradictions I don’t pick apart. Nor antagonists who walk the protagonist line, but are painted so I hate them exactly as I should for all their gray life decisions. The way the relationship is posed is realistic without being whiney, portraying the ping-ponging of “He’s bad at…but at least he…”

Even when the MC is unhinged I’m here for it because it’s hella entertaining and oftentimes darkly funny. It is so rare I read a five star book, something I have virtually no suggestions for. Sure, sometimes the dialogue doesn’t connect but I think that’s a me thing (not talking about the metaphysical talks but the cold responses Daddy or Sloane give that don’t 100% match w/ the question asked). Yet these are complex, tortured characters from a part of the country I have no association with, so I think it has to do w/ growing up that way. 80% in, something unspeakable happens but I hold out hope it’s practice for the MC doing something worse to someone who actually deserves it. Holy Hell does 90% in get morbid (I understand the hair-trigger bad ratings now), but it’s a great metaphor. I can’t say I didn’t suspect how it would end but that is just a piece of the finale. Perhaps I would have liked a few more sentences once the POV shifts, but the reason for it is laid out plain enough.

I just reviewed Deliver Me by Elle Nash. #NetGalley
5 STARS! No surprise coming from Elle Nash. She is one of my favorites!

This is classic Elle Nash. Dark AF but brilliant. Some of this I would say even veers into the Extreme Horror genre so be aware of that if you're going to read. Particular CW warnings for pregnancy, baby loss and umm.. bugs eating peoples nipples.

Thank you NetGalley for giving me the chance to read this book ahead of time in exchange for a review. It didn't disappoint! Must read!!

How far are you willing to go to achieve your ultimate goal in life? For Daisy this question is easy to answer: all the way. Yearning for nothing more than a husband and a baby, Daisy is tired of her physically and emotionally exhausting work at the chicken processing plant. She wants to be a homemaker and care for her bug-collecting boyfriend and their future child, but however hard she tries, her pregnancies just won't come to full term. Fighting the religious trauma of her past, along with her overbearing mother's meddling, Daisy is willing to step beyond moral choices and have a baby. No matter what.

I went relatively blind into this book. I had only glanced over the summary on Netgalley, but something drew me to request it. And I'm glad I did. I have to give a warning that this book includes a lot of possible triggers for people and some of them disturbed me greatly. The story is very dark and bleak and you won't get any happy feelings out of this one. But at its essence, it is a story about a woman's self-worth and how much society (and religion) engrained into us what a perfect woman should be. At least, that's what I got out of it. You'll have to decide for yourself what message you take away.

The gore factor is also pretty high, so if you're squeamish make sure you're prepared. Either way, the ending is sure to blow your mind.

TW: miscarriages, animal death/ abuse.