We Need to Talk About Divorce
An IMPORTANT book about Separation, Stepfamilies, and Feeling Heard
by Kate Scharff;
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Pub Date Mar 04 2025 | Archive Date Oct 31 2025
St. Martin's Publishing Group | Neon Squid
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Description
A kid-centric guide for the children of parents going through a separation or divorce, written by internationally renowned divorce therapist Kate Scharff, MSW.
Children of separating or divorcing parents often feel alone and alienated, as though no one understands what they’re going through. They need reassurance that their feelings are normal, and age-appropriate answers to their many questions. But divorce is confusing and overwhelming—thinking and talking about it are hard, for kids and grown-ups alike.
Kate Scharff (a child of divorce herself) addresses many of kids’ common concerns, such as navigating life in two homes, feeling pressured to choose sides, and adjusting when parents date or remarry. Her central theme is the importance of parent-child communication, and she offers lots of tips for how kids can speak up constructively—even in the trickiest situations.
This book, with illustrations by Annika Le Large, is suitable for kids to read by themselves or with a parent. It’s frank, honest, and open. But while the author doesn’t shy away from the painful aspects of the experience, she also reassures her reader that while divorce will always be a sad memory, it doesn’t have to be a bad turning point. In fact, divorce can make lots of things easier over time.
We Need to Talk About Divorce is the next book in Neon Squid’s critically acclaimed series tackling subjects that are hard to talk about for kids aged 10 and above.
Advance Praise
"While kids are the target audience, teens and even parents will find Scharff’s words of wisdom valuable. Optimistic, empathetic, and nuanced―in short, required reading for young people navigating divorce."
–Kirkus Reviews, starred review
Available Editions
| EDITION | Other Format |
| ISBN | 9781684494484 |
| PRICE | $14.99 (USD) |
| PAGES | 64 |
Available on NetGalley
Average rating from 8 members
Featured Reviews
Not every relationship lasts. When kids are involved, these endings can be upsetting and difficult. They often feel alone, embarrassed, like no one understands. The author of this book (herself a child of divorce who became a therapist), does, and tries to offer kids some understanding and tips in these pages.
This book consists of many short sections. Some of these include This is so unfair!; Finding out; It's not your fault; Money stuff; and, They're still both your parents, among others. Each section is illustrated as well. The page layouts are appealing in their appearance.
A child can read this book on their own and may, indeed, even want to. I suggest, though, that a trusted adult offer them the opportunity to talk and share reactions and feelings. That just might help a bit.
This book is a good resource for a troubling time.
Many thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin's Publishing Group-McMillan for this title. All opinions are my own.
Reviewer 1462318
This book is such a great resource for children and families dealing with divorce.
The illustrations are great and I appreciate how inclusive and diverse the families represented are. I think that’s very important.
The author does a fantastic job of breaking down how a child going through this might feel, all with understanding and no judgement. Children will also learn how to communicate their feelings to the adults in their life, which is so important.
Authors like Scharff and their books are truly going to change the world.
We Need to Talk About Divorce is packed full of resources to help a family going through a breakup. Immediate visuals that stand out are a “roller coaster” of emotions. This serves to illustrate what a child is feeling and might not have otherwise had the words to communicate. The author so clearly empathizes with children going through the experience from the beginning, acknowledging the raw end of the deal of being a child out of control of your own life in general; it also not getting a vote in this specific situation. From here the book is broken down into clearly marked sections covering a variety of topics that might crop up. How can you tell your parents how you feel? What even IS a divorce? This is a definitive guide for young ones, and formatted in a colorful visually appealing way.
Carolyn C, Librarian
This is a great resource for children who are coming to terms with a divorce or breakup of a family unit. The illustrations are inclusive, utilizing various racial family dynamics as well as families with LGBTQ+ representation. Reading this book as a mother, I really appreciated that the author took into account feelings that adults might be experiencing in addition to the child's feelings. The author interjected some thoughts as a therapist that will be really helpful to the reader as well. I think the illustrations add to the effect of the words, considering some readers may not be old enough to understand all of the vocabulary or nuances. Seeing a child on a rollercoaster to illustrate the roller coaster of emotions can be really helpful.
"We Need to Talk About Divorce" is a graphic guide for kids and families who are processing the confusion, stress, grief, and trauma of divorce. This guide includes a variety of topics that are hard to bring up and discuss, and topics that kids may be afraid to ask about. This is a wonderful tool not only for families to read together, but for people such as child therapists, school counselors, and more. As a licensed child therapist, this guide is something I will incorporate into my work and I know it will be a helpful tool!
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