You're Tearing Us Apart
Twenty Ways We Wreck Our Relationships and Strategies to Repair Them
by Pat Love, Ed.D.; Kathleen McFadden; Eva Berlander
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Pub Date 13 Oct 2015 | Archive Date 12 Apr 2017
HCI Books | HCI
Description
Many broken relationships not only can be mended, but they can actually be magnificent. You're Tearing Us Apart follows a simple, get-to-the- point formula for each chapter. First, a narrative describes what it's like living with someone who is practicing relationship-threatening behaviors. Next, the psychology behind the behavior is explained, followed by a succinct account of why this particular behavior threatens relationships. Finally, the best strategies for transformation are spelled out, covering such a wide range of options most any couple can easily comply. These four sections validate the experience of both partners, offer concrete reasons why change is necessary and then present a selection of strategies to move forward.
A Note From the Publisher
If communication with your partner consists mostly of texting and exchanging emoticons, your session may be timing out.
Available Editions
EDITION | Other Format |
ISBN | 9780757318627 |
PRICE | $12.95 (USD) |
Featured Reviews
You're tearing us apart not only gives you a "straight forward" understanding, it gives you a background as to why you're feeling experiencing what you are! This book was eye opening and an easy read.
I enjoyed the "fixes" for several of the situations in this book. Lots of very good information.
It is one thing to point out how couples drop the ball with one another, it is another to succinctly pave the way forward to a relationship that is healthy, vibrant and deeply connective. I am very thankful I have read this book!
I don’t have much to say about this book. I finished it and was glad it gave a really clear and straight forward explanation towards relationship issues. I didn’t relate that much ‘cause I’m still young and lacks experience about such. But as I read the book, it fits to a person who needs advice towards complicated relationships.
Relationship nowadays are very complicated. So many doubts and stuff so I think this book can handle your relationship with one another. I mean, it’s not bad to read such. It might help you! (:
I started out reading this not for my marriage, but for other relationships in my life. I was not disappointed in the least. A lot of information in this book can be used for several types of relationships. While the marriage I have with my husband is wonderful, I am of the belief that things can always improve. My husband and I talked about the chapters as I read and he had some great insight as well.
I went into this with an open mind, ready for anything. A lot of realization happened as I read. "Oh, I do that," and "uh oh... I do that, too," went through my head a lot. I found a few things that I personally need to change to work on certain relationships in my life and also to make myself a better me.
There are some things in the book that I have no experience in, such as sexual issues, kids and parenting. I read it from the outside looking in and used those chapters as a learning tool about something that I don't know a lot about. It was very interesting to get insight into things I've seen other people have issues with but not myself personally. There seems to be some great advice on those three things and I have people in mind to recommend the book to for those issues.
Certain things hit home for me, such as anger, mood swings and technology use. I learned a lot about anger when my husband and I started dating as we both used to be a tornado and a volcano, and have had to work very, very hard to overcome that. The tips in this book are fantastic and we both plan on applying them today despite how much we've both calmed down. I'm naturally a moody person and this book made great points on what mood can do to yourself and people around you. As far as technology goes, my husband and I are both guilty of that, and we see it so often when we're out.
Each chapter starts out with a dialog of sorts. These are things that someone would say to their partner about whichever issue the chapter is addressing. A lot is covered in the dialog and a lot hit home for me from my first marriage.
There are exercises throughout the book that couples can do together or someone can do on their own. My husband and I did them as I came to them in the book and had a lot of fun. We're the type of couple that is extremely open with each other and we still learned things about each other. That says a lot to me, since we are constantly talking and made the 'no secrets' promise at the start of our relationship years ago. If a book can get us to learn something new about each other, then it's a hit with both of us.
A lot of self reflection will happen as you read this if you are open with yourself. Read this with a clear mind and the idea that you are willing to change as well, and you will discover a lot. This book does not blame or point fingers at anyone. It is very clear that there are times that a professional is needed, and reiterates that point several times. The chapters are just the right length and the wording has great flow. Like I said above, my husband and I had a lot of fun going over things together, and I recommend that if possible, you read this to, or with, your partner.
If you're looking to fix issues without blame, help your relationships or are just curious, this is a great book to read. You'll find help on just about anything you can think of from hurtful words to financial issues, affairs and parenting. The advice is wonderful and unique to each issue. This is not a book that says, "be a better person and it will be fixed" at the end of each chapter as so many relationship books do. Instead, you will find advice and exercises tailored to each issue with real-world situations. I highly recommend You're Tearing Us Apart.
I typically avoid "self help" style books. However this provided some great insight that is definitely useful.
Very helpful, this book is a must read for anyone looking to improve upon their relationship or to help a relationship in a crisis. This is by far the best book I have read about helping a relationship and developing as a couple! It's filled with practical examples and how to resolve and approach common relationship issues, it's great you need to read it you'll be really happy that you tried it.
This book included great information that would be beneficial for relationships that have begun to dwindle in a downwards spiral. I would certainly recommend this as a tool for counseling marriages that are on the rocks...
Lots of good straight foward advice here. It's mostly common sense but does inspire you to take a close look at your relationship...especially the complicated ones. time to take reposibility for your part of relationships first. Your issues and doubts need to be addressed before you expect your partner to look at themself. Anger, frsutrations all play a huge toll. fixing issues without blame is key
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