All the Things We Never Knew
Chasing the Chaos of Mental Illness
by Sheila Hamilton
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Pub Date Oct 20 2015 | Archive Date Sep 29 2015
Perseus Books Group, Seal Press | Seal Press
Description
—Cheryl Strayed, best-selling author of Wild
Even as a reporter, Sheila Hamilton missed the signs as her husband David’s mental illness unfolded before her. By the time she had pieced together the puzzle, it was too late. Her once brilliant, intense, and passionate partner was dead within six weeks of a formal diagnosis of bipolar disorder, leaving his nine-year-old daughter and wife without so much as a note to explain his actions, a plan to help them recover from their profound grief, or a solution for the hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt that they would inherit from him.
All the Things We Never Knew takes readers from David and Sheila’s romance through the last three months of their life together and into the year after his death. It details their unsettling descent from ordinary life into the world of mental illness, and examines the fragile line between reality and madness. Now, a decade after David’s death, Sheila and her daughter, Sophie, have learned the power of choosing life over retreat; let themselves love and trust again; and understand the importance of forgiveness. Their story will resonate with all those who have loved someone who suffers from mental illness.
A Note From the Publisher
Hamilton began her career as an Associate Producer for public broadcasting, and spent nearly two decades reporting, anchoring, and producing commercial television for ABC affiliates in Salt Lake City and Portland. She was recently voted Oregon’s Best Radio Personality. She writes cover stories for About Face magazine and serves on the board of Girls Inc., an organization empowering girls to be strong, smart, and bold, and of The Flawless Foundation, a mental health advocacy organization.
Advance Praise
—Cheryl Strayed, best-selling author of Wild
"If you’ve ever asked the question 'Do I need help?' or 'Does my loved one need help?’ then read this book. Merging her gut-wrenching personal story with all-pro journalistic acumen, Sheila Hamilton gives us the who-what-where-when-why of mental illness and what you can do to get the help you need. Most of all, this book gives us permission not to go through hardship alone, no matter what crises we face."
—Laura Munson, New York Times best-selling author of This Is Not The Story You Think It Is, and founder of Haven Writing Retreats
"Sheila Hamilton's All The Things We Never Knew is one of the most candid, heart-wrenching, and deeply moving accounts of the wake of destruction caused by the suicide of a loved one. Her book reminds us of those we've lost to suicide. The book casts the dark shadow that is depression, then rises from such darkness, reminding us to 'Look to the living, love them, and hold on.' Finally, it gives survivors tremendous resolve to continue in their quest for prevention.”
—Kevin Hines, mental health speaker, activist, and author of Cracked, Not Broken: Surviving and Thriving After a Suicide Attempt
“Journalist Sheila Hamilton has written a bold and honest book that takes the stigma out of mental illness and explores the terrible and beautiful angles when a loved one suffers from bipolar disorder. Hamilton’s reporter’s eye and lover’s heart give us a valuable perspective on how the grip of this insidious disease can destroy families and lives . . . Hamilton’s story is not only a cautionary tale but another example of the resiliency within all of us, and our ability to make the choice to heal.”
—Lee Woodruff, bestselling author of In an Instant and Perfectly Imperfect, and contributing reporter for CBS This Morning
"All the Things We Never Knew is so beautiful, so raw, and so powerful. It is, in a word, spectacular, and Sheila Hamilton is so generous and brave to share this story with the rest of the world. Anyone who has struggled with mental illness—their own, their family members', their friends' (which is to say, all of us)—will come away from this deeply humane book feeling less alone.”
—Kelly Williams Brown, bestselling author of Adulting
"All the Things We Never Knew is an honest, compelling read that chronicles Sheila Hamilton’s personal story of what it’s like to live with and love a spouse with mental health challenges. Written well, accurately describing the depression and mania of what later becomes a bipolar diagnosis, she captures the struggle of piecing together biological, psychological, and environmental factors that ultimately lead to a hard but hopeful ending. It is one of those books you don’t want to put down. As a radio personality, it also turns out she has a gift for writing as well. In between each chapter is information or a nugget of wisdom Sheila found helpful in her healing journey. Put this on your reading list today and continue the conversation!"
—Gina Firman Nikkel, President and CEO of the Foundation for Excellence in Mental Health Care
"All the Things We Never Knew is the rare memoir that's as harrowing as it is heartwarming, and Sheila Hamilton is the rarest of writers—a disciplined reporter with a masterful understanding of the workings of the human heart. This extraordinary story, about the mystery and scars of mental illness, is sobering and compelling and simply unputdownable.”
—Karen Karbo, bestselling author of The Gospel According to Coco Chanel and How Georgia Became O'Keefe
Available Editions
| EDITION | Hardcover |
| ISBN | 9781580055840 |
| PRICE | $24.00 (USD) |
Featured Reviews
Rosemary S, Librarian
Mental illness is still a huge taboo in the United States, add to that the scarcity of care and insurance coverage for those who are afflicted and you have a powder keg waiting to blow. Sheila Hamilton knows now that her husband was mentally ill, hindsight is twenty twenty of course, but at the time, the signs evaded her. Six weeks after her husband David was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, he was dead; leaving his wife and daughter nothing but mounds of massive debt. Now Hamilton tells their story, beginning with their courtship, the last few months they were married and ending a year after David’s death. This is a profound and shocking story. It examines how we treat (or don’t treat) the mentally ill in the United States. And it tells the story of Hamilton and her daughter, survivors, both of them
Deborah C, Educator
I savored this book, which seems like an odd thing to say about a book dealing with mental illness. Sheila Hamilton writes about her husband with such emotion and description that I feel like I could have been friends with them. It's hard to see how things unfolded in the marriage, especially as David, her husband, spirals down into his bipolar disorder. I liked how Sheila relates a life event then pairs it with factual information about mental illness. Ultimately this is a book that opens your eyes to the world of mental illness. You see it unfold from a family member's perspective. There are moments that are harsh, but life is harsh. I'm glad she didn't sugarcoat events in her life because it would have felt fake and less authentic. I am surprised that I gave it 5 stars, but I find that I was moved by this book. Anything less than 5 stars would have felt like a slight to Sheila Hamilton and her story.
Annette H, Librarian
This is a sad story. You never know what someone is going through. Ms. Hamilton shares her story with an honest voice. The help and insights she shares may be what saves someone's loved one. Kudos to her for being brave enough to share her journey.
Amie W, Librarian
Heartfelt & heartwrenching. Sheila Hamilton shares her story with an honest voice. Chapters start with personal narrative and conclude with helpful information on mental illness, family support, treatment and so much more. Ms. Hamilton makes a strong case for public awareness on mental illness and the destigmatizing of brain disorders. An excellent read.
Annemarie M, Educator
Sheila Hamilton presents us with the chaotic, heartbreaking and, traumatic world of living with someone with mental illness. The book is informative and bold in its presentation, but also deeply emotional and upsetting - the 'story' of their lives and the experiential nature of events moves between the style of factual information text to a deeply personal embodiment of living this experience on a daily basis. Hamilton lays the truth out warts and all, in an honest and, ultimately, painful telling of her life with her husband - the struggles, the symptoms and the final effects of the loss. The book is filled with the raw emotions and pain of their love and loss and informs the reader in a detailed and effective manner about bi-polar and all it embodies.
Her writing style is impressive and her journalistic background shows through with her mastery, switching from facts, tips, helpful advice and information, presented in a more impersonal professional manner, to a very personal narrative about her own life and all they endured during her husband's descent into a spiral that would end tragically and inevitably with his death.
It is certainly worth reading in order to getting a better insight into mental health and to develop an understanding of all sides of this situation.
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