Coming of age in 1950s Kansas, a misunderstood young woman must find her way through a society ill-equipped to give her grace in this powerful, exhilarating story about loyalty, family, and hard-won self-acceptance for readers of Jayne Anne Phillips, Patti Callahan Henry, and Donna Everhart.

Billie Enholm has never known quite how to define what makes her different from her schoolmates and her cousins, but there’s no denying that she is. Bright but awkward, gifted with numbers and words yet baffled by the ease with which others interact, Billie lives with a constant, nagging voice that insists she’s doing everything wrong. Even Billie’s mother, Dixie, describes her as an “odd-wad.”

When Billie’s father dies and Dixie retreats deeper into beer and apathy, Billie’s alienation grows. Summers spent at her grandparents’ house in small-town Wiley, eighty-some miles away, have always been a source of comfort—until rejection by her favorite cousin leaves her feeling even more alone. No one can fathom how Billie sees the world—the piercing moments of beauty and heartache she experiences, her uncompromising honesty and lack of guile. And while it feels as if everywhere else, the 1960s are ushering in a new era of protest and change, her own prospects remain stagnant.

Then tragedy engulfs the Enholm family, prompting revelations, questions, and a life-changing dilemma. Out of these unlikely circumstances comes a chance for forgiveness and understanding, and a way, at last, for Billie to reconcile her desire for love with her need for acceptance, just as she is. 

In a novel as emotional and nuanced as her acclaimed first novel, Elizabeth Hardinger gives readers a wholly original heroine whose journey is as unforgettable as it is ultimately uplifting.