Mo(u)rning Joy

a memoir

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Pub Date Oct 13 2015 | Archive Date Jul 31 2016


“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning.” – Psalm 30:5

“If the raw reality of stillbirth, loss of pregnancy, or miscarriage has rendered you senseless, then you will want to spend some healing time with Mo(u)rning Joy. If you feel helpless in friending a grieving family, then you will be touched by the words of care and concern that you can’t always think to say at the time. I highly recommend this unabashed account of Kalan Lloyd’s journey toward wholeness… she truly tells it like it is.” – Susanna Fitzgerald, MSW

“A cry-laugh, laugh-cry. What makes it so good is how she conveys the terrible sadness and madness of losing a child. Kalan’s voice is very real, down to earth, interesting and funny.” – Heath Mueller, M.D., Psychiatry

“It really opened my eyes to some things – helped me see things from a new perspective – and – be more conscientious about what I might say to those who have experienced this painful journey. Kalan’s frank, honest expression of her personal experience will bring hope and encouragement to many.” – Lisa Nolan, Associate Pastor, Cornerstone Fellowship

“Rarely as healthcare providers do we have the opportunity to hear the intimate thoughts and feelings of a patient who has been delivered the most heartbreaking news: the death of her unborn baby. From a mother’s intuition, to diagnosis, to delivery and postpartum, Kalan allows us into her heart with an unbridled account of her journey. Through tears and laughter, we witness a story of a mother’s love, her husband’s devotion, her daddy’s protection, her mama’s prayers, and most importantly, a Heavenly Father’s grace and healing. Although we will never fully understand why such tragedies happen, this memoir will help us all be better friends, family members, and caregivers to those that have experienced such loss. And for me, it starts with taking down those black roses.” – Shara Young, M.D., OBGYN

“This is the book no one wants to read. This is the book no one wants to write. This is a memoir about life after birthing death. This is the story of mourning joy and the joy in the morning.” – Kalan Chapman Lloyd, Mother

“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning.” – Psalm 30:5

“If the raw reality of stillbirth, loss of pregnancy, or miscarriage has rendered you senseless, then you will want...

Advance Praise

“Will appeal to fans of popular Christian writers such as Jen Hatmaker and Patsy Clairmont.” – Kirkus Review

“A cut above the rest… Lloyd tackles the highs and lows of mourning with an immediacy and skill that brings readers not just into her life, but into her mind and emotions. Faith, pain, and everything in between are charged with heady experience, growing wisdom, and not a few obstacles along the journey. The result is a vivid, candid, and hard-hitting story speaking to the heart of pain and re-living life.” – Midwest Book Review

“Will appeal to fans of popular Christian writers such as Jen Hatmaker and Patsy Clairmont.” – Kirkus Review

“A cut above the rest… Lloyd tackles the highs and lows of mourning with an immediacy and...

Available Editions

ISBN 9781312935280
PRICE $7.99 (USD)

Average rating from 8 members

Featured Reviews

Ignoring the theological error that our departed loved ones become angels (absent from the body, present with the Lord, but angels a different created being), this is a great memoir. Would recommend for friends and family of someone who has lost a child.

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Thankfully I have never been in this terribly sad situation but as a mother of 3 sons I knew I had to read this book.

My heart was wrenched , I cried, I smiled, I don't think anyone who hasn't been there could fully appreciate the grief but the sadness would not leave after reading this wonderfully profound book. The joyful expectation parents feel about a new baby, to be lost, all plans gone, hopes and dreams shattered. Then madness and rage and heartache.

However what I loved was the honesty from a young woman who lost and found a way to continue and find her way forward. I'm so glad I read it.

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I read this book in a few hours, it made me smile, laugh and cry. My mum had a baby born sleeping and so I could see how it affected mum in the same ways as it did this lady (I was only 8 at the time). Now as a mum of 2 induced for my first born I honestly don't know how anyone could get through the pain of going through labour knowing the outcome is so very bleak and heartbreaking. This book was amazing and dealt with the tragedy in a very "real" way. I applaud the author been able to write about Caswell and to have gotten through it so well keeping her faith, I'm not sure I could have done the same. Truly wonderful book.

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Mo(u)rning Joy is the type of book you never hope to be intimately acquainted with, but desperately need it when you go through something as heart breaking and life shattering as the loss of a child. With stark honesty, humility, humor, and grace Kalan Lloyd leads us through the death of her son, Caswell. Raw, emotional, and riveting--I couldn't put down the book. It helped me know even more specifically how to pray for my friends that have gone through miscarriages. I'm thankful for this book and the voice it offers to such a hard and often not spoken of area of motherhood. I recommend Mo(u)ning Joy highly!

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This was such an heartwrenching book to read. And inspiring too. Beautiful!

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Difficult to read yet difficult to put down.

I thought this memoir was very well written and easy to read which sounds a bit of a strange thing to say when it concerns such an incredibly hard subject-but the author expertly gets you interested and involved. I liked how she didn’t spend a long time setting background info and had very short chapters or scenes-it was straight in, brutal, she was having to go through labour, knowing her baby had already died. After such shocking revelations you can’t help but read on.

I like how there are many ‘write as you talk’ expressions in here etc. These created a few smiles, the author could often be witty-and think on the subject. She manages to raise a few little chuckles in the way she retells her story and I found this remarkable.

The sweet cover pic is also used at the start of chapters and there is a significance to this picture which is revealed later on in the book. I started this very late at night and it held my attention straight away. I read up to 25% without stopping and didn't want to put it down. I read it in just a couple of days.

I didn't realise that the incidence of stillbirth is this much-1 in 160 births? Reading memoirs on this subject makes you realise how many people take having babies for granted; for some people it is a very long and very hard road and it’s amazing how they get through everything. I’m sure the author’s story will help and inspire many others in the same situation and will educate others on the sidelines looking in.

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