Exploring the brutal legacy of the Global War on Terror as experienced by one soldier, one mother, one family, this debut memoir follows a twisted road of grief and generational trauma that ultimately leads to resilience and hope.

When Nancy’s young paratrooper son returns home from Iraq, he brings a dusty bag of disposable cameras in his duffel. No one knows that a few months later, he will die alongside his combat buddy.

Consumed by this shattering loss, Nancy begins a quest to understand what caused her son’s death. This riveting tale unveils powerful premonitions, stark truths, and dark secrets about the pull and presence of war in one family. Nancy’s firsthand account takes the blinders off, sharing the ravages of past wars—in Iraq, Vietnam, Burma, France, and beyond—and the poison their shadowy presence has spread through generations of her family.

Rooted in America’s heartland, Nancy struggles to find answers about what happened to her son, even as she plumbs the anguish and complex mystery of how to choose life after unfathomable loss. The hope and wisdom embedded in this story—of one soldier, one mother, one family—moves beyond the obvious to the hidden devastation and legacy burden of war. In bringing light to war’s enduring aftermath, this stark yet ultimately uplifting memoir presents a surprising alchemy of healing, and offers a clarion call to wage peace.