Member Reviews

Thank you to Netgalley and the Publishing Company for this Advanced Readers Copy of The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards by Jessica Waite!

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Jessica Waite’s memoir, The Widow’s Guide to Dead Bastards, was an emotional read. Sometimes I would laugh and sometimes I had tears. I just really felt for her and her son because of their sudden loss and then all of the discoveries she made afterwards. While some of the things she did to help her to process the grief wouldn’t necessarily be the same things I would do, I found it all very interesting. Thank you to Netgalley and Atria Books for the copy. All opinions expressed are my own.

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THE WIDOW’S GUIDE TO DEAD BASTARDS is a candid and brilliantly written memoir dealing with one woman’s discovery of who her husband truly was. Waite lays it all out there as she exposes the betrayal, the pain, and the recovery of the time after the death of her husband.

Here is the thing. I don’t usually read many memoirs about people I don’t know, but there was something about this pitch that made me say yes. And let me tell you, I am glad I did. The flow and pace are perfect as the reader goes down the rabbit hole with the author. The discoveries, the realizations, and the moments when she had to figure out what was best for her and her son were all

This book reads like a first-person fictional narrative. At times when I was reading this, I had to remind myself this was non-fiction and that this actually happened to the author. From beginning to end, I was invested in Waite’s struggles. In many ways, for the short time I spent with this book (because I devoured it in a day), I felt as if I was a friend she was confiding in. I highly recommend THE WIDOW’S GUIDE TO DEAD BASTARDS to anyone who enjoys well-written stories about women and the ups and downs of life.

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The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards is a darkly comedic, twisty mystery that’s as fun as it is unpredictable. Waite’s sharp writing and sharp-witted protagonist make this a thrilling ride.

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The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards by Jessica Waite. Pub Date: July 30, 2024. Rating: 3 stars. When I requested this book, I was intrigued by the premise of this novel. At its core, it is a grief memoir. It starts off strong, but honestly falls flat by the middle/end of the novel. It's a novel of exploration of what it means to be a mother, a wife and now a widow. Also, it explores interesting themes of discovering the past/secrets of your spouse in postmortem and how to move on from that. I think the premise was interesting, but honestly the novel did not hold my attention as much as I wanted it to. Thanks to #netgalley and #atria for this e-arc in exchange for my honest review.

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The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards is about the author's experience when her husband suddenly passes away and she finds out information about him that makes her question their entire life together. The story was well-written and engaging, and while the subject matter was heavy, it was balanced with humor and would switch between after her husband's death and different points in their relationship. People are quick to judge situations and other people's lives, and Waite shows us that her husband was more than what he did and that multiple things can be true at once.

I really enjoyed the book and found it to be very cathartic. If you've ever experienced grief, especially complicated grief, you know how lonely and isolating it can feel. Waite verbalizes thoughts and feelings throughout her journey that hit on very specific feelings that I think will make many people feel seen. Below are just a few of the many passages I highlighted:

"Society metes out compassion in tiers, based in part on how the person died. Cancer and accidental deaths are high status (except lung cancer . . . “Did they smoke?”); suicide and overdose dwell together on the lowest rung."

"Driving home, I’m caught in the crazy paradox: people want to be remembered when they’re gone, yet everyone’s afraid to talk about the dead. The fastest way to forget someone is to stop saying their name. I bet bereaved people feel excluded like this all the time."

"I feel tired because so much processing is still going on in the background. In some ways, it parallels how each of my friend Kathryn’s injuries healed at different rates after her car accident. The slowest-healing part has been her nervous system. Three years on, she’s still recovering function in her formerly paralyzed arm. Healing takes time."

"People who’ve witnessed or studied death and grieving outside the dominant North American tradition could rightly be saying “Duh” right now, but I could only know what my culture transmitted, until my lived experience showed me something else. What if the function of grief—in all its wild and uncomfortable expression—is to guide human beings to a deeper understanding of the nature of life?"

I'm grateful for this book and will be purchasing a hard copy to have on hand and refer back to.

Thank you to the author, publisher and NetGalley for the eARC.

CW: Death of a spouse, grief, infidelity

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A gorgeous memoir filled with vulnerability, honesty, and lots and lots of grace. Jessica Waite takes us through the heavy, complicated, and oh-so-messy grief journey and presents her experiences with clarity, honesty, and insight. What a gift for those experiencing grief, heartbreak, and/or betrayal. Deeply nourishing.

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The first half was very compelling and emotional. The author relays her experience after her husband dies suddenly. After his death she learns that he was up to a lot of shady behaviors and has to come to terms with this new opnion of him while supporting her son who is now fatherless. About half way through the tone shifts from factual to metaphysical. She becomes focused on whether her husband is trying to communicate with her from beyond the grave.

I recommend this for readers of memoir.

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The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards was a fun read. I liked the character exploration and the writing was propulsive. I would read more from this author.

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I think this is a book that can be a 5 star read when it hits the reader at the right time. I felt like the humor was really being promoted here as well as the shock of learning the truths of someone you loved. There was much much more of a focus on grief and the healing process. It was spiritual and wide ranging. This would be much more impact full if read while grieving. The humor was rich early on and in some of the excellent chapter titles but then took a backseat to the grief. Likewise the title prepares you to really rally against the dead husband but at the end we see him as a much more well rounded human capable of deep love as well as deep pain.
Thanks to Netgalley and Atria Books for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review

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I don’t usually read memoirs and I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I requested Jessica Waite’s book from Netgalley based almost entirely on the title, The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards. This is the story of one woman’s journey through grief, forgiveness, and acceptance, beautifully written with even a touch of self-aware humour and, in the end, hope. The book is divided into two parts. In the first, Jessica discusses her shock when she learns her husband, Sean, had died of a heart attack in a hotel room in Texas while on a business trip. He was 47. Her grief and shock at suddenly finding herself a widow at 44 and, now, the sole parent of a nine-year-old boy, quickly turned to anger when she discovers his extensive and secret stash of porn as well as massive credit card debt for hotel rooms, escort services, gambling, and marijuana.

But even as she is overwhelmed by her anger and sense of betrayal, she also deals with her sense of loss, her continued love for him despite it all, her loneliness, and the seemingly endless depths of grief. In the second half of her story, she discusses her efforts to deal with these tangled emotions. Including, among other things, message therapy, group drumming sessions, even a medium. Eventually, she looks into Indigenous practices of dealing with grief and she learns to accept her emotions, to not beat herself up or try to set time limits on it, that there is no set rule for how long or how to grieve a dead bastard.

Thanks to Netgalley and Atria Books for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review

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Reviewing a memoir is a bit different from my usual preference (fiction and history), but the title of this one is irresistible…. to a crime writer like me and doubtless to many other readers as well. The cartoon cover paired with this title gives the impression it’s going to be a lively romp through a series of possibly criminal revelations, resulting in some chick-lit pop-psych resolution.

Prepare to be surprised. This is ‘The Year of Magical Thinking’ for the Star Wars and Facebook generation. And it is not so much a guide as a groping for solid ground underfoot where there seems only quicksand, and for a few reliable guides through the strange terrain that now overlays the familiar home and community.

Widow’s Guide is a thoughtful, heartfelt exploration of an unraveling marriage to an unstable man. With all possible resolutions sheared off at the knees by his sudden death, his relatively young widow is left adrift in a sea of shattering secrets, facing a debt burden that threatens the very roof over her head. Intent on providing a precarious stability for their pre-teen son, she’s supported through the inevitable tasks of death management by a mother and in-laws eager to take an active part despite their own grief. Our new widow must decide daily how much to reveal to them about the husband she—and they—hardly knew.

The large cast, many of whom share the same last name, can blur together, but some characters stand out through significant interactions. Good use is made of flashbacks, gradually revealing the darkness at the heart of the seemingly perfect marriage and charming, loving husband. The suspense about the insurance pulls us through the early, establishing chapters, and then we begin, with our narrator, to consider revenge against those who abetted his many deceptions.

This memoir walks a delicate balance between exposing the husband’s secret life, its impact on his shattered wife and adoring son, her healing process, and exploring the sources of his demons. While ultimately compassionate, it’s not always pretty, and you may find yourself feeling judgmental about some of her decisions and actions. It might also leave you second-guessing how much you really know about the people closest to you.

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The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards by Jessica Waite is a moving, memoir of loss and grief.
A poignant journey that kept me glued to my Kindle.
This emotional and heartbreaking read was very well written.

Thank You NetGalley and Atria Books for your generosity and gifting me a copy of this amazing eARC!

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I'd be lying if I said I didn't request this from NetGalley because of the title. It's a GREAT title. But also, it is a great memoir. This is about a widow's shock and grief after the sudden passing of her husband and ultimately about her reconciliation between who she thought her husband was, and the man he turned out to be (she makes some wild discoveries after his death). While this is what drew me in to the book, I actually like the direction it went in the later chapters - as Jess searches for signs of her husband. As you're reading you navigate through Jess's journey with grief and her healing process. The supernatural stuff went a bit out there, but I really found it to be fascinating anyway. This memoir is honest and raw, both beautiful and heartbreaking, but ultimately hopeful. Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy - look for this title next week (7/30/24). I do hope this is a book people notice (because of the title) but end up reading and enjoying as well.

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Agree with the many reviews that this is a memoir in two parts. The first part is as described in the synopsis- a gripping, honest look at a widow's grief and discovery of her husband's secret life. A memoir with an almost true crime feel. The second part feels like it comes out of left field. Jessica takes us through her attempts to connect and then finally say goodbye to her husband who's life ended early. It was this surprise dive into the metaphysical that caused me to skim until the end.

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This book evoked strong heartbreaking emotions. Book follows Jessica’s story of her husband’s unexpected death and finding out his secrets. I really enjoyed this honest grief memoir.

Thank you to Atria Books and NetGalley for this ARC

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How does a loving wife grieve the unexpected, sudden death of her husband and then deal with the competing emotions of disbelief and anger and the questions of what parts of her life were real and what parts were a factor of her husband’s lies and deceit? Wow !
Jessica Waite lays out a first chapter that reeled me in ( actually, the title and book cover started that action as I think about it ) and the first 1/2 of the book was a compelling, intriguing read… one I could hardly believe. As I read her story I kept asking myself was she truly invested in her marriage ? Was she asleep at the wheel as her husband led this unbelievable life of porn, debt, lies and a longstanding affair ? But, putting that aside the first half of the book deals with the revelations… and they just kept coming !
The second half dealt with her ‘ trying’ to move on with her life, and to work to put her husband’s transgressions in a solid place for her to move forward in raising her son and to get herself out of the mess her husband left her in when he died on a business trip.
I enjoyed the first half more than the second half yet I recognize each half needs the other to be a complete story.

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The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards is a poignant, occasionally gut-wrenching memoir of loss, grief, and betrayal by Jessica Waite. Due out 30th July 2024 from Simon & Schuster on their Atria imprint, it's 320 pages and will be available in hardcover, audio, and ebook formats. It's worth noting that the ebook format has a handy interactive table of contents as well as interactive links and references throughout.

How well does anyone -really- know the people closest to them? That's one of the fundamental hard philosophical questions the author is forced to confront when her husband passes away very unexpectedly and suddenly whilst out of town. In the midst of a haze of raw grief, she discovers that he's been living a double life for -years- during (and before) their marriage, involving drug abuse, paid sex, affairs, and financial skullduggery leaving her even more vulnerable and angry than she otherwise should've been.

The book arose from her journals and attempts to write her way through the grieving and betrayals, and process some of what she was going through. So much of her writing is raw and honest. The book has definitely tapped into the current zeitgeist and there's immense buzz around it pre-release. It's marketed as non-fiction, either way, it's very well and effectively written.

Four stars. Quite emotional and difficult to read in places. The last half of the book is an odd combination of the author trying to make sense of her new reality and looking for signs of redemption or communication from her late husband and came across as a bit woo-woo for a straight grief memoir. Still at the end of the day it's a well written book in a popular genre with massive pre-publication publicity and will undoubtedly do very well.

Disclosure: I received an ARC at no cost from the author/publisher for review purposes.

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Despite its provocative title and description, this memoir is a moving exploration of a wife's grief following the sudden death of her husband in his forties. When Waite's spouse, Sean, dies unexpectedly while on a business trip, he leaves behind a 44-year-old wife and their beloved 9-year-old son. Overwhelmed by her loss, Waite also grapples with the secrets she uncovers—secrets Sean had concealed for years. To the world, Sean was a committed husband, father, and the sole provider for his family. Yet, behind this veneer, there was much more hidden. His temperament and motivation were often unpredictable. After Sean's death abroad, his wife, Jess, is left to assemble the fragments of their life and navigate her new reality as a single parent. In her mourning, she discovers her husband's longstanding affair and undisclosed debts. Despite these revelations, Waite depicts him with complexity: a man who was deeply loving but also deeply flawed, struggling to be better.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for providing this ARC. All thoughts are my own.

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The story is compelling but the writing is absolutely awful. This is one of the rare occasions where a ghost writer would have saved the day!

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