One of the not so hidden secrets of the world of conservative Evangelicalism writ large involves the challenge of interpersonal relationships among men and women. There are marriage relationships, of course, as well as parent-child relationships. But when it comes to how men and women relate to each other in general, it seems as if the concerns regarding sexual transgression have become so predominant in everyone’s thinking that no space has been given for unmarried, non-biologically related men and women to relate to each other.

Bronwyn Lea wrote regarding this state of affairs and what to do about it in Beyond Awkward Side Hugs: Living as Christian Brothers and Sisters in a Sex-Crazed World.

The author first set forth the problem: the ironic way in which conservative Evangelical culture mirrored secular culture in terms of the over-sexualization of all relationships and thus the intrinsic awkwardness when it comes to having men and women relate to one another within a church context. The author then considered the Biblical witness regarding bodies and human sexuality and then set forth her essential thesis: Christians do well to truly see and treat each other as brothers and sisters in Christ, and the sibling relationship is key to properly understanding how Christians should relate to one another.

What would that mean for the biological nuclear family, or Christians who are married to each other? The author then addressed how biological family is to sit within the context of church family, and how husbands and wives can well treat each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. She considered how unmarried men and women in churches could well relate as brothers and sisters in Christ.

The immediate response in concern is manifest: what about those who transgress sexually because of such things? The author considers the horror stories of adultery within churches, providing counsel regarding those situations; just as importantly, if not more so, she reminds us all how the abuse of a thing does not make the thing itself wrong, and maintaining so much concern about transgressions in relationships can hinder the proper and appropriate development of those relationships. She also provided some encouragement in terms of dating and sexual stewardship in a church context.

The book came out in 2020, and in some ways reflects a conservative but centrist perspective in Evangelicalism which has not well endured or survived by the mid-2020s. She quotes the kind of array of sources which it would be difficult imagining much of anyone quoting anymore. The “conservative but centrist” perspective helps explain the subtext (“…in a sex-crazed world”) despite the awkwardness of how it seems plenty in the world have been better able to figure out platonic male-female relationships in ways which seemingly have escaped the world of conservative Evangelicalism writ large. That’s probably because at least aspects of the world are, in fact, less “sex crazed” than much of what passes for conservative Evangelicalism.

Nevertheless, the issues the author raises remain quite important and salient in congregational contexts. Far too often, men somewhat relate with fellow men, and women generally do decently at relating with fellow women, but the gender segregation in churches remains quite stark and apparent in a way very much at variance with the kind of congregational cultures manifest in the witness of the New Testament. To that end, this is a helpful resource to consider so we might move beyond awkward relationships as brothers and sisters in Christ.