Brave(ish)

A Memoir of a Recovering Perfectionist

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Pub Date Sep 15 2020 | Archive Date Jul 17 2020

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Description

At forty, Margaret quits her sales job to follow her husband’s hotel career to Paris. She’s setting sail on this adventure with a glass half full of bravery, a well-traveled passport, a journal in which she plans to write her novel, and the mentally engrained Davis Family Handbook of Rules to Live By.

Everyone tells Margaret she’s living the dream, but she feels adrift without a professional identity. Desperate to feel productive and valued, she abandons her writing and throws herself into new roles: perfect wife, hostess, guide, and expatriate. When she and her husband move to Cairo, however, the void inside she’s been ignoring threatens to engulf her. It’s clear that something needs to change, so she does the one thing she was raised never to do: asks for—and accepts—help.

Over the next fifteen years abroad, the cultures of Egypt, Thailand, and Singapore confront Margaret with lessons she never would have learned at home. But it’s only when they move back to Chicago—with Margaret now stepping into the role of perfect caretaker to her parents—that she has to decide once and for all: will she dare to let go of the old rules and roles she thinks keep her safe in order to step into her own life and creative destiny?

At forty, Margaret quits her sales job to follow her husband’s hotel career to Paris. She’s setting sail on this adventure with a glass half full of bravery, a well-traveled passport, a journal in...


Advance Praise

“Chicago writer Ghielmetti gradually gains confidence and self-realization in this globe-trotting memoir. . . . An uplifting affirmation of a rediscovered self.” —Kirkus Reviews


“Brave(ish) is a gorgeous, meditative book.” —Chicago Writers Association’s Windy City Reviews


“. . . a poignant, humorous memoir about letting go of the need to be perfect in order to live life fully. Written in a colloquial, humorous style, the book is ruthless in its honesty.” —Foreword Clarion Reviews

“Chicago writer Ghielmetti gradually gains confidence and self-realization in this globe-trotting memoir. . . . An uplifting affirmation of a rediscovered self.” —Kirkus Reviews


“Brave(ish) is a...


Available Editions

EDITION Other Format
ISBN 9781631527470
PRICE $16.95 (USD)
PAGES 256

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Average rating from 36 members


Featured Reviews

This was a very interesting memoir. I loved the travel aspect and seeing all the places the author went.

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I liked the combination of travelogue plus memoir. I enjoyed reading about the author living in other countries and experiencing the cultures vicariously through her. I think she adapted as well as she could, but also conformed to rigid standards that were arbitrarily set. It was a quick pleasant read. I appreciate when authors allow readers to peak into their lives.

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Thanks to @booksforwardpr, @margaretghielmetti, and @shewritespress for my gifted copy of Brave(ish)! In the book, Ghielmetti documents her life as a “trailing spouse” to her husband’s job with the Four Seasons, the adventures around the world they experience, and the journey towards living her own life, not one that was laid out for her.

The adventures that Ghielmetti finds her in, along with her inner dialogue about them, are absolutely fascinating. It was interesting to hear about all of these magnificent places she was living in, and things she was seeing, and then see how she processed a move back to Chicago. Ghielmetti touches on a variety of events that happened while she was out of the country as well, including where she was on 9/11 and the decline of her parents’ health. I think that there is a lot to learn in this book - not only about how to live as an expatriate, but also about how to live for yourself, and not according to any guidebook. One example was how Ghielmetti rejected the notion that a GM’s wife was to throw nightly cocktail parties. She ended up doing it on her own terms. There are many more ways in which she does this throughout the book, but I’ll leave those up for the reader to discover.

If you’re in need of an escape, Brave(ish) is out now.

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An enjoyable memoir describing the travels and the different countries that the author has visited. The main premise of the book is the importance of following your own goals and what lights your soul instead of only taking care the other people in your life.

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This was a fun, quick read. The book is a memoir focusing on one woman's forced worldly adventures. Her husband's job takes them to Paris, Egypt, Thailand, and Singapore. There's so much to learn and experience in these unfamiliar places and reading about the author's journey was fun. I think the book could have benefited from a bit more self-reflection and a more comprehensive acknowledgment of the author's privilege, but altogether this was enjoyable.

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This book was not what I expected. While it was slow in parts, the author wrote a very engaging book. I didn't know how "fun" this book was be, but it was very enjoyable. Keeping a plot in a nonfiction book, to keep it moving, is admirable. Instead of a typical self-help book that gives advice, with small anecdotes, this is written as a story, with advice sprinkled throughout. I've never heard of or read this author before. I would love to read more of her books.

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I finished this book almost a week ago and it took me a while to find the words to review.
This isn’t an easy one for me because while it wasn’t the ideal read for me, it wasn’t due to the writing and it is definitely the right book for others.
I was drawn in not by the title, but the description; getting over your (literally) painful or detrimental perfectionism is something I desperately need. Unfortunately, every person is different and pressures to be perfect are very different. I struggled to relate with a person living such a different lifestyle. At the core, I understood the problem, but it was a different world.
Then came a twist I didn’t expect, something which stripped away any barriers which could exist between two people (I won’t give this away) and I started seeing her very differently.
So has it helped me? Maybe a little.
Did I still enjoy reading it? I did. Mostly because the travels were interesting and anecdotes funny which made for an entertaining read.
I can’t imagine a world following a husband and focusing on helping someone else achieve their dream (call me too young or too independent of a different generation or just not married) so I couldn’t relate, but I would definitely recommend it to people who can better relate to the life of the author.

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Thank you to the publisher for an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest opinion.

This is travel writing with a memoir twist, or a memoir with a travel twist, but it works and I particularly enjoyed the travel section and reading about what it was like to live in Egypt and Thailand. I also appreciated the author's ability to honour the memory of her parents while discovering that she didn't have to run her life according to their 'rulebook'. I found the author occasionally a little self-congratulatory but it's possible this was the persona she chose to present and much of this was tongue-in-cheek in a way which would come across more clearly in person. An enjoyable read.

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Note: I received a free copy of this book from Net Galley and am leaving this review voluntarily.
When I began Brave(ish) by Margaret Davis Ghielmetti, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. My favorite genre has long been biographies/memoirs, but a book about traveling the world? That was a new one for me. Thankfully, Brave(ish) did not disappoint, and Ghielmetti’s book is far more than I ever could’ve hoped to read.
As Margaret follows her husband, Patrick, around the world for his job as a hotel General Manager, she played the role of Hostess perfectly—in many ways, reminding me of Bree Van de Kamp from ABC’s Desperate Housewives. Margaret felt obligated to fulfill these hosting duties and more in order to be the “perfect” spouse, but it was evident early on in the book that the duties weren’t fulfilling her in return. When Patrick is transferred from Paris to Egypt then Thailand, Margaret’s adoption of various values and customs from these cultures ultimately contributed to her realization that she striving for perfection isn’t the key to joy; rather, it’s authenticity.
On her journey to personal and spiritual enlightenment, Margaret combats not only her perfectionistic tendencies, but also her alcoholism. She realizes that filling herself with wine could never fill the void the perfectionism had left within her, and for the first time, she begins making true, lasting friendship (with plenty of disappointment along the way). While she explores the wonders of the world, she also explores herself and a potential new way of life, with her supportive, loving husband by her side.
In many ways, I felt like Margaret was telling me the story personally, as if it were one of her many “Trip Reports” sent via email to her loved ones around the world as she and her husband relocated. Brave(ish) is candid, with many relatable quips throughout. The author’s inclusion of detail—both of the world and her experiences with infertility, the loss of her parents, and loneliness alike—set this book apart from many memoirs I’ve read. Brave(ish) doesn’t shy away from Tough Topics; instead, Ghielmetti embraces them fully.
I’m awarding Brave(ish) five stars for Ghielmetti’s ability to immerse the reader in her perfectionism from the very first page, bringing the reader alongside her in the reflections and realizations on her journey. I’ve read dozens of memoirs and autobiographical works, but none like Brave(ish). I highly-recommend Brave(ish) for all readers, but especially women who struggle with “Type A Tendencies” or accepting that there is no such thing as the “perfect homemaker.”
And Margaret, if you ever see this review…congratulations on finally finishing your book. 😊 Your passion for the written word is evident. Keep writing.

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Truly a brave memoir. I enjoyed seeing the world through the author's eyes: dedicating years to support her husband in his career, exploring far-flung corners of the world, learning to let go of the past and internalized rules to discover her true voice and a braver self. Bravo, Margaret! PS: The discussion questions at the end are gold. :)

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Brave-ish: Take a little tour around the world of the 90s with this book.
The book takes you on a journey with the writer to the various places she travelled in her life. It felt refreshing to read about the 90s along with a beautiful description of places.
The writing style is very interesting to me and I was immediately hooked on the book. It didn't feel rushed or slow paced.
The internal conflicts that the main character feels throughout the book and how she struggles to find her true self is something that most of the women find themselves in, thus it felt relatable.
Overall, the details of the beautiful scenes and places made this book a wonderful read and a pleasing adventure.
Those who love to read about travelling and experiencing various culture, this is the one for you!

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This was amazing. It was the story that I needed to read this year. It was well written and made me reflect upon things in my life.

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In Brave(ish): A Memoir of a Recovering Perfectionist, Margaret Davis Ghielmetti whisks us around the world in this delightful memoir, travelogue and journey of self-discovery.

Margaret leaves her job to become “Trailing Spouse” to her Four Seasons GM husband, Patrick, as his career is launching halfway around the world. Determined to begin writing her novel in their first three-month stop in Paris, she instead busies herself as hostess-with-the-mostest, providing guided tours to an unending stream of guests. It isn’t until it’s time for the next stop, Egypt, when the realization that her turquoise journal designated for novel-writing remains blank.

As Patrick’s career progresses and his work days become longer, Margaret descends into reflexive habits dictated by The Davis Family Handbook - perfect wife, hostess and expat - she plunges into the realization that she has lost herself in the process. Margaret struggles with loneliness, and finding herself and her purpose as something other than perfectionist.

Struggling against her demons and The Handbook, she finds faith and her voice even through the process of aging and the challenges of caring for her eldery parents.

Each chapter titled for the geographic location Margaret and Patrick are “stationed” in, Brave(ish) is a delightful trip around the globe for armchair travelers. This book is a pleasure as Margaret delves into the cultural details of the countries she finds herself with breathtaking descriptions of her day-to-day observations as well as her adventures in strange and wondrous places: a tower overcrowded with monkeys.

This is a story of how to love and be loved and how to find yourself when you think you are lost. Margaret writes with raw honesty and pure love. Whether in breathtakingly beautiful exotic parts of the world, or sitting in her parents home sharing coffee, she bares her soul.

Brave(ish) is outstanding. Flawlessly written. And Margaret’s life is astonishingly relatable. A masterpiece of a memoir.

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I loved, loved, loved this title. Margaret is my hero. I, too, have The Handbook and am learning to tweak it to fit my lifestyle. Seeing the world through her eyes was wonderful...almost as good as being there. I enjoyed seeing her vulnerability, doubt, fear, and growth. She is unapologetically human and what makes me such a fan.

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This was an interesting memoir.
It was probably the first memoir I ever read, but somehow the idea of a "Recovering Perfectionist" expat had me interested in this story. Even more so because by also being an expat I can, at least partially, relate to the story from a common ground perspective.
I liked that it was mainly centered on the narrator's feelings other than being merely a golden positive-side-only type of memoir. Especially because a lot of people tend to see expat's lives as being just an adventurous never ending vacation, when the reality isn't like that. There is also a negative side to living in a foreign country far away from your family and long-term friends and this book talks about that too.
Apart from that, I think this book also missed more enthusiasm by the narrator. You often get that feeling that her life was only a constant string of chores and lonely boredom even if she is all the time in beautiful settings. On the other hand the whole narrative drives home the point that a person should have their own goals and not only care about others all the time. This is something that especially stay-at-home wives often do too, remaining all the time busy with tending to others while their own wishes remain deeply buried as not all all important and therefore not a priority in their lives.
So I liked the main theme of this memoir very much and would therefore recommend it to anyone who has forgotten the true wishes of their souls and would like to be reminded that doing your daily chores everyday perfectly won't be a good substitute to pursuing your true aspirations and goals as an important priority too.

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Margaret Davis Ghielmetti's new memoir, Bravish, covers a lot of territory. Not only are we transported to a variety of international locations, but the landscape of the heart is traveled as well, taking us on a journey from living with crippling perfectionism to the freedom of becoming one's authentic self.

As the wife of a career hotelier, Margaret lived as a traveling spouse wherever her husband's posting took them. New York, Paris, Egypt, Thailand, Singapore. Just the thought of all those moves is exhausting. Orchestrating these international moves, acclimating to entirely new cultures, making new friends, entertaining business associates - Margaret repeated the process many times and became an expert on how to pack, move, and adapt. She was perfect at it. Perfection requires sacrifice and hers was to put the needs of everyone else in front of her own. It's hard to hold on to a clear idea of your own wants and needs when they are continually sublimated by those of others.

She writes about some of the coping strategies she developed to withstand the pressure and disappointment she felt, alcohol being primary among them. Getting sober is an act of bravery without any qualifying 'ish.' Margaret managed to give booze up when it meant being deprived of the very things that made her feel less isolated and undervalued. All of a sudden the feelings must be dealt with without filter. Maintaining sobriety is a commitment to the self and it's from this point that she begins to discover who she is. Only with sobriety can she begin to arrange her life so her own needs are met. Only then does she gain a clear idea of what those needs are.

It's been said that the art of the memoir is to turn the personal into the universal and Margaret succeeds at this in a seamless, delightful way. Her misadventures and trials are entertaining and serve as pieces of the puzzle she has in front of her. What does she want? How can she obtain it? Who will be hurt in the process? Her husband Patrick is shown as a supportive and kind man who avoids taking for granted the life Margaret gives him. However, the demands of his job means she is left alone much of the time, isolating her in often bewildering new locations. With her sure prose she makes the reader feel what she felt. The stakes grow as she struggles for clarity and the reader is fully invested in her journey.

It's with a sure hand that Margaret writes her compelling story. She is also a popular figure in the Chicago storytelling world and her expertise is put to good use here. Her tale is fun to read but also challenges our notion of what we owe ourselves and what, if anything, we owe others. These are questions we all should ask ourselves in our own journeys into confident self-worth and authenticity.

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I don't know what it says about me being super happy that someone else figured out that she's a perfectionist and decided to share her journey to living her best life with the world. Maybe, that she's miles ahead of me- and that's a great read.
I enjoyed reading about Margaret's stay in various countries around the world and I am biased because my favorite was Cairo in Egypt. Thanks Netgalley for the eARC.

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Brave(ish) is a revelatory and rich mix of memoir and travelogue. In this emotionally powerful book, Margaret Davis Ghielmetti reveals the painful journey she takes to self-discovery with insight and humor. At the same time, her interior journey is a kaleidoscopic travelogue for the armchair traveler, taking the reader from one globetrotter's dream landscape to the next: New York, Paris, Cairo, Sharm El Sheikh, Chiang Mai, Bangkok, Singapore, and India. An acclaimed storyteller, Margaret writes with raw honesty, probingly and hilariously, about her adventures and struggles as a trailing spouse. After a lifetime under the crushing commandments of The Davis Family Handbook, confined to helping others fulfill their dreams but pushing her own to the side, Margaret finally, BRAVELY, liberates herself and pursues her own destiny. Her story inspires you to explore deep inside and find that nugget of courage to do the same.

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This book was a fascinating read and I found myself identifying with the author on numerous occasions. Her tales of the world were enchanting and the care she provided to everyone around her was extraordinary. However, by the end some travel tales began to feel the same as the author’s location changed. I did find myself cheering for her as she began to find herself through storytelling and crying along as she cared for and lost her aging parents.

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