My Secret Life as a Sex Addict
How I repaired the damage
by Paulina Pantyleva
Narrated by Paulina Pantyleva and Dana Lee Chapman
This title was previously available on NetGalley and is now archived.
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Pub Date Jun 01 2023 | Archive Date Aug 15 2023
Description
It was only the fourth day of the cruise and I was already on my seventh penis.
I met Jack at the pizza station by the pool. I went there to binge on pizza, partly because pizza is delicious and partly to punish my bad behaviors with food. I just wanted to engorge myself with cheese, crust, and soda like a bloated tick. Jack, “Hey, I’ve seen you around. This pizza isn’t the greatest…” After a few minutes of small talk, the next thing I know, I’m on my knees in the closest men’s bathroom to the pizza station. No kissing, no foreplay, just c*ck in my mouth. “ Thank you so much. I needed that so badly. I was going crazy hanging out with my wife and kids this entire cruise. I gotta go.” I’m not really sure how I find myself in these kinds of situations. It seems to only happen to me. Somehow I attract random men to do this. I don’t even like to suck c*ck. Much less a guy I don’t even know who has a wife and kids. Stranger C*ck is disgusting, so why did I suck it?! What the f*ck is wrong with me? It is said that once the pain of the addiction is greater than the reward, that is when change occurs. Sex addiction is a shameful topic. There are some books written for male sex addicts, but few from a female sex addict’s point of view. I am an American middle-class mom who works as a physician. I was smart enough to get a medical degree and to live a seemingly beautiful suburban soccer mom life. Until the age of 49, I lived with significant anger, resentment, shame, and guilt about myself and my behavior. I couldn't live like this anymore, riding this sickening merry-go-round of binging, sexing, regretting, crying, and still acting out. I was turning 50 this year and had to fix my mental and physical health. I did not want to hit the milestone of age 50. Still a mess. This is my story.
Available Editions
| EDITION | Audiobook |
| ISBN | 9798218199548 |
| PRICE | |
Available on NetGalley
Featured Reviews
Rachel C, Reviewer
I saw this book on NetGalley and the title drew me in. There's not many women out there writing about sex, sex addiction, and cheating. And the way Paulina writes... just WOW. This is what I want to hear from women! She didn't wrap this book up with a pretty bow or use fluffy language and she didn't hold back. She was honest, authentic, reflective, and engaging with the reader (or listener, as I received an audiobook edition). I respect her ability to air out all (and I do mean ALL) of her dirty laundry for the sake of being accountable to herself and out of her desire to help other women. Even if you don't have a sex addiction, or are just curious about learning more on the subject from a woman's perspective, or maybe you struggle with other issues such as food addictions, eating disorders, or codependent relationships, this book may be for you! It's healing to read about other people healing. I learned a lot and had a few chuckles.
Pedro R, Bookseller
This was a such a raw book that at first seemed a little too fresh on the mind of the author to be told. As I listened on, I realized how much of an awakening it was for the author as a person to embrace their shadow self and take responsibility for her actions. It’s not easy and and truly a life journey to overcome addiction and one that requires compassion and no judgement to read but an open mind that people can change their ways — there is always hope! The book is honest about sex addiction being that of the mind and one’s obsession to the fantasy that one conjures. An important read given the topic and the point of view.
Finalized staff pick review:
A profound awakening occurs when you embrace your shadow self & take responsibility for your actions. It’s a life journey to overcome addiction & one that requires compassion to read & an open mind that people can change their ways — there is hope! The book is honest about sex addiction being that of the mind & one’s obsession to the fantasy that one conjures. An important read given the topic.
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