Oh wow, Dress Your Baby in Sage and Taupe by Hayley DeRoche hit me in all the right ways as a first-time mom. I mean, who knew parenting could be this color-coordinated? Between taupe muslin swaddles, wooden toys in fifty shades of oatmeal, and existential nursery themes like “The Vastness of the Universe,” I found myself laughing, cringing, and nodding in total recognition.

What I really loved is how Hayley manages to be hilarious and comforting at the same time. The essays, quizzes, poems, and advice columns gently poke fun at the Instagram-perfect parenting trends—artisanal baby food, obscure names, hand-whittled party favors—without making you feel bad for just trying to survive. Honestly, I put down the book thinking, “Okay, my baby doesn’t need a $200 muslin wrap or a carefully curated color palette. I’m doing fine.”

The illustrations by Julia Emiliani are adorable, and they really bring the satire to life. As a new mom, this felt like a funny, reassuring little handbook that says it’s okay to skip the beige perfection and just enjoy the chaos (and maybe a nap if you can grab one). I’ll definitely be coming back to this book whenever I need a laugh—and a reminder that my baby and I are already enough.

Hilarious and so well-written! I thought this would be like a picture book with a paragraph per picture, but it is clear the author put so much work and thought and humor into it. It’s truly a satirical self-help guide. I am not a mom and I don’t plan to become one. I don’t know any babies currently, and the babies I have met weren’t sage and taupe beige babies. Still, I absolutely loved this book. I bet it is even funnier if you do have kids!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

Humor or not, this isn’t usually a title that would catch my eye. I have no intention of becoming a parent and very little interest in engaging with the parenting lifestyle. However, I really enjoyed Hayley’s TikToks, which is how I found out she was coming out with a book. It was pure curiosity that prompted me to add it to my TBR and I’m glad I did.
I’m sure your algorithm has dropped you off in the middle of some drama you have absolutely no connection to. Sometimes I’ll find myself going down a rabbit hole specifically when it comes to parentTok (or whatever that side of TikTok is called) because what do you mean there’s a discontinued fabric for a meh dai that resells for an absurd amount of money? There’s conventions??? For baby clothing and accessories??? The title of this book was specifically reminiscent of some scandal my entire fyp was caught up in awhile ago where a mom took her kid’s colorful toys and spray painted them more neutral colors to match her “aesthetic”. There was a whole discussion around if you should even be a parent if you can’t let your kid have colorful toys. If you would be willing to sacrifice your children’s safety for your boring aesthetic.
Anyway this book kind of gets into that. It discusses our fear of making our homes look lived in. We prefer to buy new stuff to make everything matchy-matchy rather than reaching out to our community to find what we need. But babies and kids don’t subscribe to aesthetic. They will choose Mr. Tiddlywinks, the unsettling clown doll, over Anemone, the calico stuffed bunny. We watch our author come to terms with this realization over the course of the book.
I really enjoyed all the different recurring segments. Dear Abyss, Notes From Your Algorithm, In Your Inbox, Mom Group Chat. I think my favorite, though, was the illustrated depictions of the kid’s room at the beginning of each chapter. You start to see the kid develop their own interests outside of the parent’s beige color palette for the original nursery. Julia Emiliani does a wonderful job with the illustrations.
Like I said earlier, I went into this book kind of blind. I wasn’t sure what to expect other than some jokes on overpriced baby accessories and the latest trend in not personalizing anything in your life. I would have been content just having a couple laughs, but sneaking in the heartwarming story and message in the background was a nice little surprise.
Dress Your Baby In Sage and Taupe is a funny, cute reminder that it’s okay to have personality outside of the latest thing. Society puts a lot of pressure on new parents. I imagine it’s an isolating and impressionable place to be in. Everyone wants the best for their kids, but the message of this book is that the #1 thing a child needs is a parent’s support to become whoever they become. I’ve already recommended this book to some new parents in my life. I hope it’s a nice reprieve from all the “real” parenting books they’ve been reading.

Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC of this title.

Extra thank you to my mom for letting me have that hideous hot pink carpet and neon green walls for my childhood bedroom. I’ll help you paint over it whenever you want 🩷💚