I was genuinely excited to be approved for 50 Tips from 50 Years of Wedded Grace. My husband and I have been finding our way back into our faith, and I thought a book offering marriage advice from a couple who has spent fifty years together, rooted in their faith, would be encouraging and meaningful.

Unfortunately, I walked away incredibly disappointed.

I want to be clear that my issue is not with the use of Scripture in a Christian marriage book. I expected that and actually looked forward to it. My issue was with the way personal preferences and anecdotes were often presented as marital wisdom and then immediately paired with Scripture and prayer. For me, that gave subjective advice a sense of biblical authority that I found uncomfortable.

Much of the book also came across as surprisingly self-congratulatory. Rather than feeling like, “Here are some things we’ve learned over fifty years that might help you,” it often felt more like, “Look at how successfully we’ve done marriage, and you should strive to do it this way too.”
One example that particularly bothered me was the authors stating that in fifty years of marriage, they have “never had a violent or out-of-control argument.” That’s wonderful for them, but statements like this contributed to an underlying sense of superiority that I struggled with throughout the book. Real marriages are messy. People occasionally lose their tempers, communicate poorly, or have arguments they aren’t proud of. I would have found advice about repairing after those moments, taking accountability, extending grace, and reconnecting afterward far more relatable and valuable than being told that this couple simply hasn’t experienced them in fifty years.

As someone who grew up around religious trauma and is now intentionally trying to reconnect with faith in a healthier way, parts of this book brought back the exact feelings I hoped to leave behind: the idea that there is one “right” way to live, behave, or have a Christian marriage, with Scripture presented afterward in a way that can make disagreement with the advice feel like disagreement with God.

There were certainly good sentiments throughout the book—show your spouse gratitude, support their interests, control your own reactions, and treat one another with kindness. I don’t disagree with those things. It was the prescriptive delivery that ultimately lost me.

Fifty years of marriage is absolutely worth celebrating, and I’m sure the Drapers have learned plenty from theirs. I just wish those lessons had been offered with more humility, nuance, and grace for marriages that may look very different from their own.

For a book with Wedded Grace in the title, I ultimately wanted much more grace for the imperfect reality of marriage.

50 Tips from 50 Years of Wedded Grace is a short collection of marriage advice inspired by the authors’ 50 years of marriage. Unfortunately, I found myself quite disappointed by it, as I didn't feel that it brought much new or particularly insightful to the conversation about relationships and marriage.

The biggest issue for me was how brief the tips are. Most of them are only a couple of sentences long, which often left me feeling like there was much more that could have been explored. With 50 years of marriage behind the advice, I expected more personal experiences, examples, or stories about what they had actually learned throughout those years. Instead, many of the tips felt more like quick reminders than fully developed pieces of advice.

I also found the portrayal of marriage a little too idealised. The book gives the impression of a relationship where everything has worked beautifully for five decades, without much acknowledgement of disagreements, difficult periods, mistakes, or the less romantic parts of being married. Of course, every couple has their own experience, but I think acknowledging that no marriage is perfect would have made the advice feel much more honest and relatable.

Each tip is accompanied by a short Scripture passage and a brief prayer. While these elements fit the book's overall approach, I personally felt that they sometimes took up space that could instead have been used to expand on the actual advice and provide more substance.

Overall, I think the idea behind this book is much stronger than its execution. Fifty years of marriage is an incredible milestone, and I genuinely think there could have been a fascinating and much more meaningful book built around the lessons that come from that experience. Unfortunately, the very short tips and idealised portrayal of marriage left me wanting considerably more.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This little book is set up like a devotional—a tip, an associated Bible verse, and a short prayer that can be said over your marriage. Nothing goes in depth and overanalyzes why it’s a great tip, so it’s really easy to digest the wisdom. I like that there’s space at the end for couples to create their own Bible-rooted tips as well. Reading this together would be a great way for couples to be sure to spend a small bit of time each day devoted to each other and their relationship.

As someone who has been through therapy for my own issues, I found a lot of the tips in this book were actually things I’d been told by counselors, too, in terms of improving communication and relationships. So overall, it is all great advice! To readers I would also point out that these are TIPS, not mandates, and we are all human. So if you don’t do all of them or don’t do them “perfectly”, it is okay. You aren’t dishonoring God or your marriage. No one is perfect, but doing your best to include these tips in your relationship can help improve it.

A biblically focused, short and sweet devotional to help keep Jesus and love at the center of your marriage. I love the idea of gifting this as an engagement gift, for bridal showers, weddings, anniversaries, and whenever a friend brings up disappointments in their marriage. Each tip is accompanied by a relevant verse and short prayer. It's the perfect length for a daily reminder/focus! We have so much going on in our lives, it would be hard to squeeze reading it in everyday if the tips were paragraphs long- and even harder to catch up if you miss a day!

There are too many golden nuggets like "texting is not talking", "when we know better, we ought to do better" and "compliment your spouse everyday" to count! I need to implement the last one immediately- what joy and loving kindness such an easy act will bring to my marriage starting today and building hereafter! Dr. Frances and Andre Draper cover a myriad of topics from emotional, mental, and physical, to interpersonal relationships in and outside of our marriages.

- "Submission is mutual" 😯 ooooo coming out of the gate with some drama! Excellent! Just as Christ gave himself up for the church, so is the husband called to die to himself for his wife 🙌🏻 Likewise, wives aren't called to be selfish princesses, but servants to their spouse. This tip is SO IMPORTANT for BOTH parties in a marriage to understand and honor.
- "It is one's glory to overlook an offense". I'm going to repeat this in my head every time I overlook an offense so I don't vocally point out that I'm "overlooking" it 😅 A direct connection to "do everything without grumbling".
- Tip #17, we like to take nightwear that has a hole and really give us a reason to throw it away. Highly recommend. Related to Tip #39.
- Have I mentioned I'm reading this book to soften *my* heart? 😅 (Part of Tip 9) Sanctification is a personal process, not one learned by osmosis or peer pressure 💖 Great reminder to keep my focus on my actions and heart!

Appropriately so, Tip #1, is the best and most important: keep Jesus as the center of your marriage. Love it! Without Him, all aspects of life truly are SO MUCH HARDER. Second and honorable mentions go to Tip #2, Tip #47, and Tip #50 💖

What a delight to take this little peek into a beautiful and God honoring marriage! Thank you to the sweet authors, Our Daily Bread Publishing, and NetGalley for this ARC!

This was a fun little book. Nothing really groundbreaking or that stood out for me. I can see it being a cute gift to give especially younger newly weds or as a bag stuffer for a bridal shower.